A/N: First of all I'd like to thank my first fan darkdork15, and I hope everyone else will start to read my story. Even if they don't I'll keep going!
Chapter 4: The sky is clear, but the ground is busy.
Early the next morning, music playing wakes me up. I turn to see an alarm clock on a nightstand next to Naruto's bed. My ears catch the lyrics:
"sousa kanashimi wo yasashisa ni
jibun rashisa wo chikara ni
mayoinagarademo ii arukidashite
mou ikkai mou ikkai!"
'WOAH! AWESOME! THE THIRD OPENING!' I sit up from the futon and start singing along with the song while moving in rhythm with the music.
dareka no kitai ni zutto kotae
homerarerunoga suki nano desuka?
naritai jibun wo surikaetemo
egao wa itsudemo suteki desuka?
hajimaridake yume mite okiru
sono saki nara itsuka jibun no ude de-CRASH!
However my little jam session hits a flat note when Naruto leaps from his bed and stabs the clock with a kunai knife! Heartbroken, I ask; "NARUTO! WHY DID YOU DO THAT?"
Naruto turns to me; eyes all bloodshot and replies, "I thought we were under attack….wait, were you singing?"
All the blood rushes to my face and I say, "No…."
Naruto shrugs his shoulders and says, "Well, remind me to buy a new alarm clock. Come on, let's get ready for today." We get up and leave the bedroom, where Naruto points to the restroom. "I'll get breakfast started, why don't use the washer and the shower to give you and your clothes a rinse? You smell like an old greenhouse." He walks to the kitchen leaving me to think, 'what does an old greenhouse smell like? Did my cologne wear off?' I head to the bathroom to find there are a washer and dryer in there. I remove my threads and toss them into the washer, add a little soap and get it started. I move into the shower and rinse off while the washer goes, and it finishes when I do. I dry off and put the clothes to dry, since there isn't that many it also finishes rather quickly. Pulling my clothes back on I walk to the kitchen where I spot Naruto making more instant ramen.
In a few moments we both seat ourselves down and have another eating race. "I got to say…you really are good at eating ramen…" Naruto says since we got another draw.
"Eh, I eat it every now and then," I tell him whilst taking a sip of tea. 'Wow, can't get tea like this back at home.' After our meal, I pull my shoes and jacket on while Naruto puts on his jumpsuit and headband. "Hey Naruto, is there a place I can put this extra stuff from my backpack?" I ask him, and he points to an empty bookcase. I unload everything except my DS and the games, and my cologne.
As I put some on, Naruto asks, "You always put that stuff on?" "Yep, whenever I leave my house." I reply.
"Huh, hey let me try that." Naruto says and sprays some on his body, he smells it and says, "Hmm. Smells alright." While he examines the bottle, I hear a tapping on the front door.
"Someone's a knockin', I'll get it." I tell him and walk over to the door and open it to see Kakashi's face, the guy always looks like he wants to go to sleep.
"Hi, how you doing Kakashi?" I greet him, bowing.
He simply walks past me and calls out, "Naruto?" I give him a confused stare. 'What gives? What am I not here?' I turn towards Kakashi who looks about for Naruto; I've always been kind of lukewarm towards him. Don't get me wrong, Kakashi is a strong ninja what with the sharingan and all but there are times when he seemed mean to me. Especially the way he treated Uchiha Obito before he died, but at least he took Obito's famous line to heart, and there are times when he's a real badass…I guess he doesn't trust me yet either. But that's okay; maybe he'll come around later.
"KAKASHI-SENSEI!" Naruto cries and gives him a hug, much to Kakashi's irritation.
"Wha? Get off me Naruto!" he grumbles. Naruto stops and looks up at him,
"Wait, you at my apartment at 8:15? WHO DIED?" Naruto exclaims. The only sound I hear next is the pumping of blood through a shiny red vein on Kakashi's head.
"I DO get up early like everyone else you know." Kakashi says.
"So what's up? Is there a mission going on already?" Naruto asks.
"Uh…well I guess you can call it a mission, but it's a more of a "stay alert" thing at best," Kakashi explains. I keep quiet, I have a suspicion that he's referring to me but at the same time I doubt it, after all what can I do?
"The hell? Make sense Kakashi-sensei! I'm ALWAYS ON ALERT!" Naruto declares raising his fist in the air. Kakashi chuckles and so do I, but discreetly.
Kakashi finally turns to face me and says, "Hmm? Oh, that's right, you invited the foreigner to stay with you." I grimace at my new title. 'Thanks, broom-head.'
Naruto frowns at Kakashi, "His name is Paul, and you're just as bad as Ero-sennin, sensei."
The shiny red vein reappears on Kakashi's head to which he says, "I have much better manners than Jiraiya!" 'Not right now you don't.' Kakashi then says, "Well, you both should go see Tsunade and ask if she has anything you two can do. Bye."
Kakashi turns and heads to the doorway, as he comes toward me I say with a wave, "See you later." However, Kakashi ignores me completely once more and exits out the door, shutting it behind him. I make a sarcastic grin at Naruto and say, "Chatty guy." After we get ourselves together, Naruto and me leave the apartment and walk to Hokage tower. When we get to Tsunade's office I take a deep breath and motion for Naruto to go first, to which he gives me confused glare.
"Why do you get all spooky whenever we come here…?" he asks and leads the way in. As we go in we see Tsunade writing on various documents looking like she wants to commit suicide. "Hey, Tsunade-Sama! How are you today?" Naruto asks cheerfully while I simply say good morning in a mousy voice. When she doesn't respond, Naruto and I glance at each other then turn back to her. "Hey, Tsunade!" Naruto calls out at her, still nothing. "Hey, Old Lady!" Naruto shouts and then we both cover our heads with our hands, but yet again no response. 'Uh-oh, this is serious. Usually calling her old lady gets you the Fist of The North Star.'
After we lower our hands she finally says, "They keep coming…"
"What?" Naruto and I both ask, and then Tsunade starts shaking.
"…No matter what I do…they keep coming…" she says in cracking voice, "The documents…they keep COMING! AAAH! AAAAAAH!" The Fifth starts losing it like she's having a nervous breakdown. Naruto and I hop back in fright, that's when I see Anko, Kurenai, and Shizune zoom past us to her aid and not a moment too soon.
The three female Jounin all throw their arms around their commander and attempt to calm her down. "Tsunade-sama!" Shizune cries in alarm.
"Tsunade-sama please!" Kurenai cries with her, and Anko adds, "Get a hold of yourself please!" Tsunade lifts all three of them with her Herculean strength, but they persevere and gain their footing again. Tsunade starts to calm some and she seats herself back in her chair, Anko, Kurenai, and Shizune all pant heavily as if they had just took down a tank.
"Calm…calm…" Tsunade says weakly. The three women turn to Naruto and I, still in shock of what we just saw.
"THE HELL DID YOU SAY TO HER?" Anko demands angrily. I struggle to say something, but Naruto says in our defense, "We just said hi! But she mumbled something about these papers and she just lost it!"
"We're sorry, we weren't sure what to do." I choke out.
"It's alright, just go and bring Tsunade something to eat and drink." Kurenai tells us. We both nod, and then I get an idea and reach into my backpack and pull out my DS along with the games and give it to Kurenai.
"Here, the game in this has a poker minigame she might like. Just turn on the power and use the stylus on the lower screen to select the top slot and go from there." I explain. She looks it over in wonder and curiosity, while the two of us exit stage right.
"Wow." Naruto says.
I just shake my head and say, "I've never had a job, if that's what I might have to put up with…"
We start walking away from the office; Naruto asks me, "Hey what was that silver plastic thing you gave Kurenai-sensei?"
"My Nintendo DS." I say which gives Naruto a dumbfounded look.
"Your Nintenda-D-what now?" he questions. I laugh which causes him to give me an irritated glare.
"My Nintendo DS, the DS means "dual screen"." I explain.
"Huh? You mean its got two? What does it do?" He asks. As we walk I explain everything and Naruto nods every two seconds, when I'm finished, Naruto says, "That sounds GREAT! Where did you get that thing?" 'Oh god damn it…'
"OH! Uh…someone named…eh…Miyamoto! At least I think it was Miyamoto…" I answer quickly.
"Huh…you have to let me play that thing." He tells me. I let out a sigh of relief and we are now outside the tower.
"What should we get for Tsunade?" I think aloud. Naruto gives me a teethy grin and says,
"Some ramen from the Ichiraku stand should perk her right up!" 'I'm not surprised…'
"We could, we could, but does Tsunade like ramen as much as we do?" I point out to him.
Naruto's smile disappears and replies, "Hmm…come to think of it, I'm not sure she does…damn!" Naruto plops himself down on the ground and I seat myself next to him.
We both say nothing, as we both think to ourselves. I get an idea, and ask Naruto, "Hey…uh the first time you met Tsunade where was it?" He glances at me with those all too familiar slitted eyes he makes sometimes.
He responds with, "It was at some bar…uh, hey!" His eyes brighten a little. "I remember what we ate there too! It was just some appetizers, but maybe the memory will cheer her up! C'mon let's go hunting!" he declares. He takes a hold of my arm again and we take off. The speed we move about would put the Flash to shame. After about a half an hour, we find a place that gives us what they ate that day. Naruto orders it, so I don't know what it is. When we get the food, Naruto says, "Since we're out anyway, why don't we-"
I finish for him, "Buy something for Anko, Kurenai, and Shizune?"
He nods in response and adds, "Yeah, just in case they're irritated with us, I know Anko-sensei was. I have an idea what they might like, follow me." So we go to another place, and then that dango shop where Kakashi found Itachi and Kisame. By this time we both are carrying to-go boxes as we hurry back to the tower. As we charge up the steps, we constantly struggle against not tripping and dropping the food. When we finally come back to the office, Tsunade is still accompanied by the three jounin. They crowd around the Hokage, all in awe of the DS.
Then Tsunade makes a defeated face and says, "AW! I died! How do you kill that jumping block monster?"
"Um, you have to jump above it, then press down to do a power stomp." I answer. They all look up to Naruto and I in surprise, with hints of red on their faces.
"Ah! Paul? This is yours?" Tsunade asks in surprise.
"Yeah, wait…I was here with Naruto not too long ago when I gave it to Kurenai and said you could play it! Don't you remember?" I ask. Tsunade makes a confused expression,
"Ummm….." the Hokage responds.
Shizune lets out a sigh and says, "That episode she had hit her pretty hard…huh? What's all that?" She points to the boxes.
Naruto smiles and explains, "We got food for you guys as well! Seeing the trouble you went to calm the old la-I mean, Tsunade down."
"REALLY? GIMME!" Anko shouts hungrily and snatches the boxes away and slams them down on Tsunade's desk. I stare at my hands, which were full a millisecond ago.
"How thoughtful, thank you!" Kurenai tells us.
"Thank Naruto, he paid for all of it. I didn't have any money to help out." I make it clear.
"Huh? But you helped me think of what to get for Tsunade!" Naruto interjects.
"You could've thought of it on your own." I reply back.
"Yeah…but you helped me carry them!" He exclaims with a triumphant smile.
"You could've used the Kage Bushin no Jutsu." I reply again, simply.
Naruto grows irritated and says, "Eeerrrr! You're acting like Hinata! CUT IT OUT!" I start cracking up, and he gets angrier and punches me on the shoulder. 'No Naruto, Hinata would be nicer about it.' "He's being dumb right now, but he helped me think of what to get! Do you remember those appetizers Lady?" Naruto jars at Tsunade.
"Yes I do, thank you both," Tsunade replies in a motherly voice. Scratching my head, I say, "I'm going to go see if there are shinobi who need me for something."
"Hey, let come too-" Naruto begins before Tsunade cuts him off by saying, "Hold on Naruto, I need you do something for me!" Naruto slumps down, the dark rain cloud appearing over his head again.
"I'll see you later dude, don't worry about me." I reassure him.
"Okay, but there are some people in the village who don't like me and they might give you crap about staying at my place. So watch it." He says in a solemn tone.
I nod but before I leave, Tsunade calls me, "Hey kid, take this." She tosses me a bit of cash then asks with an embarrassed smile, "Can I play this some more?"
"Sure, thanks for the cash." I answer and excuse myself while bidding goodbye to the others.
On my own once more I make my way outside the tower and take a deep breath of the fresh air. Many different ninja wander about the grounds around the tower and I begin asking for any little jobs I could do, but unfortunately many of them give me the cold shoulder. I glance at what Tsunade gave me, a package of coins. I have no idea if it's a good bit of cash or pocket change. 'Crud…I should've asked Naruto how much this is…well if people start treating me like a hobo I'll get the answer.' Still no work to do, maybe me talking like I'm short on air probably isn't getting me anywhere come to think of it. After a long time of asking, one group of ninja answers my call.
"Huh, work? Yeah…I think I got something you can do. One of the others, a guy hands the ninja I'm talking to a small package with a note attached to it. "See that tall yellow building way over there?" He points off into the distance; I see a yellow building near the village gate. "Take this package to a house with a red roof next to it. My friend lives there and he'll pay you some if you say I sent you. I'm Kaji by the way." He instructs me.
"Ah, alright. Thanks." I say and begin to head off towards the yellow building. After walking for a long time I reach the building and find the house with the red roof. I knock on the door, no answer. "Hello?" I call out. I knock again and the door opens. "Hello?" I call again and enter. I shut the door behind me and call out again, "Excuse me! I was sent by someone named Kaji and I…" I examine the note as I talk, "…have a package for…I.C. Weiner?…Aw man…" That Kaji guy tricked me, what an ass. I find a nearby chair and decide to sit down. 'And all that time I could have been doing something constructive.' I look around; the place is pretty shabby looking. Now that I realize it the other houses about all look abandoned! I put my hands on my face, cursing my stupidity. But before I can do anything else, I feel someone grab my arms and force them behind me! "Hey! What goes on here?" I exclaim. I feel my hands being bound to the chair with rope, and then a small crew of people surround me all wearing different masks. "Who the hell are all of you?" I shout.
They tie my back to the chair as well and then one answers, "Whenever a foreigner comes to Konoha, they usually cause trouble. Especially if they know that demon brat." My temper gets worse since I know he's referring to Naruto. It really burns me up (though I know I'm not the only one) when he's called such.
"Listen sir. First of all, for the gazillionth time I AM NOT A SHINOBI. And if you call Naruto a demon again, shinobi or not I'll kick you're a-ACK! " I say before someone bashes me on the head.
Then another says, "We'll leave you alone now to cool off. See ya," They all start to leave, and I start to panic.
"Hey! HEY! YOU DITCHING ME? COME BACK AND UNTIE ME YOU JERKS!" I scream at the top of my lungs. After their gone my mood grows worse and I start cursing myself again. 'DUMB! DUMB! DUMB! DUMB! DUMB! DUMB! DUMB! DUMB! DUMB!' After a couple of minutes I try to slip my wrists through the ropes, no luck. I next try to rip from the chair, that doesn't work either. Growing agitated again I attempt to wiggle out of the chair, instead I start getting rope burns. Now I throw a total fit and begin kicking and thrashing and the chair tilts to the side and my idiot self hits the floor with a loud CRACK! The pain dulls my rage and I just lie there for a bit, my mind racing furiously. 'Crap, what did Richard Dean Anderson do in that one episode of MacGuyver?' I thought I would get cussed at or get a brick thrown at me from any Naruto-haters, but nothing like THIS. Mustering what upper body strength (and a whole lot of demented fury) I have, I try to lift the chair back into upright position. And success! I actually get the chair standing again. 'Well, it's a start.' Thankfully my legs remain free and by tilting forward I get my footing again, enabling me to walk. I eagerly and carefully rush to the door and nudge it open with my head, then continue out but something stops me.
"Eh? What gives?" I think aloud and look behind me, I fit through the door but the chair is stuck! 'Uuuhhh, give me a break.' I look up and down the street, there's nobody around. Still, I call out, "Hello! Can somebody turn me loose?" Silence there and nothing more. I sigh flatly and attempt to force the chair through the doorway; I manage to do so yet smacking my head against a support beam.
I decide against asking somebody to cut me free and to just go back to the Hokage tower and hope either Tsunade or Naruto will free me and save me from mass embarrassment. It'll be hard since a large part remains on whether or not anyone spots me, and there's a chance I might run afoul of more anti-Naruto fanatics. So off I begin my pilgrimage through the back streets and alleys of Konoha's urban jungle. As I race through the deserted areas of the village I can't help but admire the architecture of the different buildings and homes. Even though I am alone in these back ways, the sound of the common folk is still present in the ol' eardrums. After about ten minutes I hit a dead end, did I take a wrong turn somewhere? I start to turn around but I begin to hear something else, and it drowns out the sounds of the townspeople. I look about, just a bunch of trashcans. Where is the noise coming from? 'Wait…did that trashcan just move?' I gasp as a swarm of rats pour out of the trashcans and begin to surround me, and they look hungry!
I start getting nervous and I shout out, "ASSISTANCE! Naruto? Tsunade? Kakashi!…. Orkin Man?'' With that said the rats all advance on me at full force. What ensues is a frenzy of vermin combat. I immediately start kicking at the rats whilst trying to keep my balance; I actually manage to knock some of them away but then the rats start leaping onto my back! Without thinking I forcefully seat the chair onto the ground with a loud thud, which dazes the little rodents, but only for a moment, so I repeatedly slam the ground with the chair knocking any more on my back off. The rats refuse to relent, as they grow angry.
(CUE GO GO NARUTO!)
'Huh? Where's the music coming from?' In a surprise maneuver to the rats and myself, I begin spinning around like a whirlwind. The more rats that come, the faster I spin. I eventually grow dizzy so I change my battle plan and frantically run in order to find higher ground. As I race down the alley my furry adversaries follow me along the fences, and so I respond by periodically kicking the fences with my enormous feet creating waves in the wood frames thus launching them off into the distance. I spot some steps and race up them, the rats still hot in disease-ridden pursuit. After climbing the painfully long staircase I reach the top, but get my left foot stuck in a bucket. That doesn't stop me however; as the rats catch up I begin making sweeping motions with my left, bombarding the little buggers with cold, hard, plastic. All the kicking starts to fatigue me, and eventually all of the rats are back in full force. I quickly look around for anything that can aid me, and I spot some large industrial size barrels full of rainwater. As the rats close in, I quickly rush to the barrels and begin to ram my body against them. After one big shove, I hear a crack and all the water from every barrel comes pouring out, creating a small wave of water. FWOOOOSSSSHHH! The rats are all swept away in an instant as the h20 hits the swarm. I let a huge sigh and seat the chair down near the edge of the hilltop. 'What an ordeal.' I'm knocked out of my relaxed state when I hear a snap and I feel the chair fall backwards! The back end hits the ground that makes my teeth rattle. I almost start to calm down when I feel the chair start sliding down the hill! 'Oh no! No! No! AAAAAAAAAAAAA!'
Like a Swiss bobsled, my wooden companion races down the hill at a furious speed. As if this wasn't bad enough I start smacking into a bunch of rocks and bushes. One of the impacts swings me around so I'm facing forward. I gasp in terror as I spot my stopping point: THE HOT SPRINGS!
"AH! COME ON!" I shout out. As I close in near the water, to my surprise I hit very large rock that acts like a ramp and into the air I go. To my delight, the rock vaults me clear over the women's section instead of into it. 'WWWHHHOOOO! IF I ONLY HAD A PAIR OF FLAGS…' But streaks of luck usually come to an end, as my eyes spot a screaming Jiraiya frozen on the outside fence directly below me as I fall.
"SWEET MOTHER OF BUDDHA!" Jiraiya cries. He tries to run, but too little too late. My feet smack Jiraiya in the face and we both topple into the spring water where Naruto was practicing walking on water with Ebisu.
(GO GO NARUTO! ENDS)
Thankfully I left all my electronic stuff back at Naruto's apartment or with Tsunade. The hot spring water soaks me completely, but I got a problem; I'm still tied to the chair! I instantly start to choke, but then I feel myself be lifted out of the water. I cough up some of the hot liquid and turn to look at my rescuer, to find my eyes staring into those of a very wet and very angry Jiraiya.
"YOU LITTLE PRICK! I'VE GOT A GOOD REASON TO-huh?" he starts but then he notices I'm tied up and calmly asks, "Um…why do you have a chair on your ass?" I quickly explain everything about that twat Kaji and those Naruto bashers and how they tied me up which led to this moment. "Hmm, considering the stuff I've seen in this village over the years, what you're saying makes perfect sense." He responds. He pulls a kunai knife and cuts me free.
"Thanks a ton, I was afraid you wouldn't believe me." I say graciously.
Jiraiya waves it off, "Sadly, despite what good Naruto has done here, there are some who might not ever accept him. Sorry that you've been pulled into it as well."
"Don't apologize. I took Naruto's offer to live with him, so it's my own fault." I reply.
"You said a ninja named Kaji put you up to it? Why does that name sound so familiar? Let's ask Tsunade." He says. He picks up the rope and chair and we both head back to Hokage tower. Everyone stares oddly as we walk dripping wet up to the office. When we come in, Tsunade takes one look at the two of us and bolts out of her chair.
"What's going on? Why are you two soaked?" she asks, confused. We explain the whole ordeal and ask if she knows of Kaji. She grows angry and says, "Yes I do, and he's one Danzo's dogs. Come with me." As she gets up, I grow amazed. 'Danzo? Wait he's not supposed to appear until the Naruto II story arch! This doesn't feel good…' We follow Tsunade as she looks for Kaji. We find him talking to some others of Konoha's denizen. Tsunade taps him in the shoulder and he turns to face the Hokage who has now tripled in size.
"Hokage-sama? W-what is it?" he asks fearfully.
"Did you hire this boy to deliver a package to someone named I.C. Weiner?" she demands.
"UH…. I mean…well…I…" he stammers.
"Huh, did you just get paid?" Jiraiya asks with a sly smile.
"…well…yeah..(POW!)" he is cut off when Tsunade gives him a titanic right hook that sends him into a nearby wall faster than a bullet. The impact knocks an envelope he was holding out of his hands and Tsunade happens to catch it. "DAMN!" I say aloud.
A passerby says, "YOU GOT KNOCKED THE FUCK OUT!" Tsunade then turns her attention to the other ninja who now quiver in fright.
"ALL OF YOU LISTEN TO ME" she starts and then grabs the back of my jacket and lifts me up with one hand! She waves me about for everyone to see. "I HIRED THIS ONE FOR OUR CONVENIENCE. NOT AS A PRANK MONKEY." She explains, voice booming. "I'M EXPECTING YOU ALL SHOW HIM COMMON COURTESY AT THE VERY LEAST." She sets me back down and as soon as she does every single shinobi about comes forward and extends their hands in greeting. Pleasantly surprised I begin shaking hands and say hello. 'They're being nice now, but I wonder how long it will last?' They all quickly go back to their business. I turn to the Hokage who smiles and hands me Kaji's envelope and says, "And here's your payment for that last errand."
"Thanks for sticking up for me." I answer. Tsunade shakes her head and replies, "Forget it, you're Naruto's newest friend and you already got your first share of trouble. I'm sure Jiraiya already told you, but you NEED TO BE MORE CAREFUL. Especially since you have no training at all," I nod and Tsunade continues, "Well I have to go back to the never ending paper stack. You should call it quits for today." She waves bye and returns to the tower. Jiraiya stares at her hips move. He turns to me and says
"Heh…I got something I need to check on…later." He follows Tsunade into the tower. I begin to walk away, but I stop and turn back to the tower. 'One…two…three…four…' CCRRAASSHHH!
"AAAAIIIIEEEEEE!" Jiraiya screams as he rockets from a newly formed hole protruding from the tower. 'Huh! I think that's the fastest I've seen!' I resume traversing from the tower grounds when I spot Shizune walking quickly towards me.
"Hi! What happened here?" she asks.
I shrug and answer, "Jiraiya tried to get fresh with Tsunade."
Shizune blinks once and replies, "No, that's a common occurrence here. I mean why was Tsunade-sama yelling at the top of her lungs?"
I scratch my head and explain, "Well…remember when I told you she hired me for little jobs around here yesterday?" Shizune nods. I continue with, "There was this shinobi named Kaji who…" I go and tell her the same thing as I told Jiraiya and Tsunade.
"I'm sorry about that, not all of us are so immature." She says with a sympathetic look.
"EEHHH? SAY THAT AGAIN?" I hear a familiar voice. We turn to the right to see Naruto standing there with steam coming out of his ears. "IT'S INJUSTICE! MUTINY! MUTINY THAT IS!" he snarls.
"Relax little buddy. Tsunade already gave that guy a what for." I tell him. Shizune places a hand on my shoulder, and it feels like a surge of energy rushes through me.
"I feel he was let off to easily, it's highly unprofessional to act the way he did." She says. "Hold on, she gave me his pay as a punishment. Here, look." I present the envelope and a smile spreads on Shizune's face while Naruto's eyes light up in an ecstatic blaze.
"SWEET JUSTICE!" Naruto shouts then turns to Tsunade's office window and says,
"OLD LADY YOU ARE WISE!" The next thing we notice is a flurry of kunai that come raining down from the window. Naruto hops to one side while Shizune grabs my shoulders and pulls me to safety.
Tsunade pokes her head out with a fist saying, "DAMMIT! I'M NOT OLD!"
Naruto smiles with a relieved look and suggests, "Hey let's go to the ramen stand! Shizune-sensei, wanna tag along?" I jolt uncomfortably when he says that.
But before I can say anything she responds with, "I'd like to, but if I leave Tsunade by herself she'll get drunk instead of doing her work!" she smiles when she says that last part, and then I hear Tsunade's voice again.
"YOU'RE A FUNNY WOMAN SHIZUNE!" she grumbles loudly.
"Well, please go on. I'll talk to you both later." She bids us goodbye and hurries to her master. "Are you afraid of Shizune-sensei?" Naruto asks innocently. I look back at him with some irritation. "What do you mean?" I ask.
"Whenever we're around the old lady, Shizune, Anko, or Kurenai sensei, you get all nervous and clam up!" he explains.
"I…I…get shy…that's all…" I explain, feeling my face turn red. The mood is disrupted when we both hear a loud gurgle.
Naruto stares at his stomach and says, "Well, never mind all that. Let's go see Teuchi and Ayame." The two of us begin walking, passing by Kaji who is still incapacitated from Tsunade's punch. "Who's that?" Naruto asks.
"That's the one who tricked me." I reply with a sour look. "Oh." Naruto says, and then he runs up to him and buries his foot into Kaji's back with loud SMACK! "Okay, now let's go." He declares happily. He quickly runs ahead, but before I move something catches my attention. On the ground a couple of feet away, a single white feather travels across the gravel, the wind carrying it. I stare at the feather then I look upward to the heavens. 'The crane…no it didn't follow me did it?' "HEY! MOVE IT PAUL!" Naruto yells into my ear, bringing me back to the now.
"Sorry…" I apologize as we go to our destination. At the ramen stand Naruto zips up to the counter and I calmly seat myself beside him.
"Welcome back." Ayame greets us sweetly.
"I'll pay for your first two bowls Naruto." I offer. "AWESOME! THANKS!" Naruto exclaims. We place our orders and talk as they cook it up.
"You should've fought back when they nabbed you." Naruto scolds me.
"They caught me completely off guard! Besides there was over eight of them!" I say in defense.
"That's it! After this I'm teaching you how to fight!" Naruto says, pointing at me.
"Huh? Well I guess…I'm in okay shape after all…" I lament.
"I can't protect you all the time. You gotta be able to hold your own around here!" Naruto adds as Ayame serves us our ramen. She gives a fork and I say thank you, Naruto has already inhaled one bowl and orders another.
"He's going to teach you? That's the most adorable thing I've ever heard!" Ayame giggles.
"You should be able to use your fists at least…" Naruto grumbles. I eat one bowl while Naruto polishes off seven, a light lunch by his standards. As promised, I pay for his first two bowls but he gives me puppy dog eyes so I end up paying for a third bowl. We say our goodbyes and go back to the park we were at yesterday. After finding a section that's unoccupied, Naruto stands directly before me with his hands on his hips. "Alright, now come at me with full force!" He commands.
I just stand there and say, "Uh…you mean just rush at you?" I ask. "YES! HURRY UP!" he roars. 'He's going to wail on me so bad…' Putting my fist up, I charge at Naruto and try to punch him, but Naruto ducks and slams his knee into my stomach knocking the wind out of me. Feeling sick, I drop to the ground. Naruto stares down at me in disbelief.
"WHA? COME ON! THAT WAS YOUR BEST?" He demands.
"…Yes…" I wheeze. "THAT CAN"T BE! YOU HAVE SOME MUSCLE TO YOU! GET UP AND TRY AGAIN!" he barks. 'Okay…who's been training to be a ninja from birth?' I force myself up and get ready to charge again. I rush at him once more and he responds by tossing me into a nearby tree. "Damn…this is going to take longer than I thought…" Naruto jars. He pulls me down from the branch and tells me to do twenty push-ups while he sits on his back. Normally I would be uncomfortable about it, but not with Naruto. I get on the ground and do the push-ups, but when I finish my arms hurt.
"Don't you do any exercise at all?" he asks with a frown. "I swim more than anything, that's where I get what little muscle I have." I respond.
"Swimming huh? Well that's a start…" he says then continues with, "Okay I'm going to show you some basic attacks from the Uzumaki style of taijutsu!" He makes a fighting stance and punches the air twice. He turns to me and says, "Make a stance beside me and do what I do." I nod and take my place beside him and we go and practice some simple punches and kicks, but Naruto makes up a bunch of exaggerated names like the "Uzumaki strike" or the "Naruto blazing kick." After about an hour of practicing he stops me as I am winded a little. "Now, try to attack me again." he commands. I take up a fighting stance and punch at him, to which he simply blocks. I throw in a kick here and there and he systematically blocks each blow. He stops me again and tells me, "Hmm, that's a little better. But there's still a lot of room for improvement."
"Yeah…my arms aren't that sore anymore either…" I add.
"Why are you so down for? You look so depressed!" Naruto asks with a scowl.
"It's a long story, but that don't matter none. Come on, let's continue." 'After all, Naruto is the star. Not me.'
Naruto shrugs his shoulders and tells me, "Okay, let's see how you do with a kunai." He digs into his holster and produces two kunai. He hands me one and shows me the proper way to hold it. "Now a simple way to attack is like this…" he begins and demonstrates a slash and stab motion and I copy him. "Now, I'm gonna try and attack you, try to parry each strike with the kunai. I won't gore you so don't worry." Naruto says. He takes a fighting stance and then he begins stabbing at me with a crazed look on his face. "HA! HA! HA!" he cries with each pass he makes, I meanwhile freak out and frantically try to avoid him. After a couple of near misses and unexplained blocks I turn around and start running. "HEY! YOU GIVING UP? NO STUDENT OF MINE GIVES UP!" Naruto shouts as he chases after me. 'I'm just trying to get some breathing room is all!' After getting about a few feet from him, I throw myself to the ground. Naruto must not have been expecting it since I hear him go, "ACK!" and I feel him trip over me. My eyes catch the young ninja pitch forward, eyes as big as dinner plates with surprise. KERPOW! Naruto's head goes against the ground. For some reason I immediately toss myself onto his back, pinning him to the ground. He grows annoyed and starts thrashing beneath my weight. "What are you doing? GET OFF ME!" he commands.
"Um…dog pile?" I reply. He makes a hand sign and says, "Kage Bushin no jutsu!" Suddenly I'm thrown off as smoke fills the air around me, and of course the Naruto legion appears as it clears.
"YOU LIKE TO PLAY DOGPILE EH? WELL LETS PLAY DOGPILE- DATTEBAYO!" the clones all shout. In Naruto's point of view, he's probably just sending his clones to get even…to me? Well, think along the lines of "Death From Above" to describe the sight my eyes see. Clone after clone land atop my person in a dog pile retaliation for the ages. I pass out due to lack of oxygen and am waken up later when I fell a cold shock. I open my eyes to see Naruto brandishing a bucket of ice water. "Rule number one, never dog pile your sensei, get me?" He asks.
"I get you." I respond in my shattered condition.
"Okay, maybe I did go a teeny bit crazy." Naruto laments.
"You go crazy? Never!" I say sarcastically. I pick up the kunai Naruto handed me and stand up once more.
"Now, why don't we give throwing the kunai a whirl?" he suggests. He looks around and points to a nearby fallen log. "Try to hit the log like this." Naruto begins and he tosses the kunai at the log, which hits without fail. Mimicking his movement I attempt to throw the kunai, but it bounces off of the one Naruto threw and flies right back at us! Screaming like a bunch of banshees we dive out of the way. Naruto gives me another kunai and when I throw this one it ricochets off the log and off into the trees, and we hear an unknown animal screech and hit the ground. "Okay…maybe we should hold off Kunai practice for now…before we kill somebody." Naruto tells me putting his hands up.
"No arguments." I reply. Naruto crosses his arms and remains silent, probably trying to decide what to show me next. He then pounds a fist into his palm and says, "I got it, let's see how your jutsu performance is. Let's see if you can do my signature technique, the Kage Bushin no jutsu!" I smile with joy at the mention of this, since it's a key part of one of my favorite moves Naruto does: the Uzumaki Naruto Rendan. 'It'd be fantastic if he taught me the Rasengan…unlikely as it sounds.' "OKAY! Now, watch me make the hand sign…" he makes the all too familiar criss-cross sign and shouts, "Kage Bushin no jutsu!" Within a second, three clones join him, I jump back since I'm still not used to it yet. "Now you try it!" the Narutos command happily. I make the hand sign and shout,
"Kage Bushin no Jutsu!" …And absolutely nothing happens. I'm not surprised though, I didn't expect to get it on the first try.
"Don't worry none, it took me forever to learn this one. Try again." One Naruto tells me. I repeat the sign and chant Kage Bushin no Jutsu, and nothing happens again. Not even one puff of smoke. After more repetitions Naruto grows impatient and begins circling me, eyeing my body.
"What the hell? No smoke? No "puff" or "poof"?" he wonders aloud, and then he grabs hold of my left arm and examines it. "Maybe your body's broken…or you're like fuzzy brows?"
"Maybe I should try the Henge no Jutsu first?"
Naruto slits his eyes and says, "Well that's a thought…ok! Let's give it a go! Watch me!" Naruto and his clones make the required sign and transform. However I have to stop myself from getting a hot flash when the smoke clears to see Tsunade, Anko, Kurenai, and Shizune! My throat leaps into my stomach as I stand in shock.
"Hehe, don't we look hot?" the Anko clone asks me seductively. With that I go, "I…. uh…. ugnhh…." and I black out again. (Happens often doesn't it?)
Later I feel light slapping on me face and when I open my eyes I see Naruto and his clones still under the Henge no Jutsu.the one appearing like Tsunade cradles me in her arms.
I shut my eyes again and tell Naruto, "As much as I love being held by a Tsunade look alike, could you TURN THE JUTSU OFF?"
"Okay, damn…" They all say and the jutsu is canceled. But as soon as he does I fall backward and my head bangs against the ground! I guess a clone was cradling me. "I was right! YOU ARE AFRAID OF THEM!" Naruto accuses me; I suppose he hasn't figured out I LOVE them. Naruto smacks me on the back of the head with a stick and says, "Alright, now try to do the Henge no Jutsu!" I stand up and make the handsign and chant "Henge no Jutsu!" When nothing happens again, Naruto grows angry and shreds the stick with his teeth!
"I DON'T GET IT! WHY ISN'T IT WORKING!" he roars.
"What the hell are you two doing? I can hear you all the way from my house!" I hear another voice. I turn to see Iruka! Iruka has always been all right with me, since he was Naruto's first true friend.
"Iruka-sensei? I was trying to teach Paul here how to fight in case anyone else tries to harass him!" Naruto says in defense.
Iruka's eyebrows rise in confusion, "Huh? Harassed? For what?" he inquires. After repeating my account, Iruka's eyes sadden.
"Oh…Naruto does he know about you?" Iruka asks the hyper ninja.
Naruto's face darkens, "I…haven't told him."
"It's okay, I already know." I answer, surprising them both.
"All the adults know right? And that gang of guys who tied me up called Naruto a-uh…well they hinted at it." I continue.
"But…it doesn't bother you? At all?" Iruka questions, his face in disbelief.
I put a hand up and explain, "As long as Naruto's not causing a state of emergency then everything's golden." Naruto jumps up and down happily and throws his arms around me, unfortunately he catches me off guard and we both fall over causing Iruka to laugh his head off.
"Well…I wouldn't say Naruto HASN'T caused a commotion before…" he chuckles.
"NANI? IRUKA-SENSEI!" Naruto shouts; his canines now sharp. After we calm down I explain that Naruto was giving me combat lessons.
"Naruto, you can't expect him to learn the Kage Bushin no Jutsu in one day! Remember your exams?" Iruka asks, causing that rain cloud to appear over his head again. "Why don't you try something more basic, like being able to leap from tree to tree?" he suggests. Naruto and I both raise our heads, since we didn't think of it before.
"YEAH! MAYBE YOU'LL BE GOOD AT THAT!" he cheers scaring both Iruka and I.
"Um…let's see how high you can jump normally." Iruka tells me. I nod and do a simple jump that gives a foot and a half. Naruto's face turns red and steam shouts out from his ears.
"NO! NO! NO! THAT'S NO GOOD! BEND YOUR KNEES! PUT SOME 'UMPH' INTO IT!" he trumpets. I crouch a little bit and jump again, going a little higher.
"Hmm…not too terrible…" Iruka says but Naruto has tears streaming down his face. They next leap onto a nearby tree branch and tell me to try it. I TRY to but I don't get even close, as Naruto yells at me to give it another go.
I attempt to do it once more, this time I land on the ground wrong which causes me to do American splits making me go, "EEEEEYYYYAAAAAA!" in horrendous pain.
They help me up and Iruka asks Naruto, "Why don't you guys stop for today?" Naruto's hair rises like a rocket. "Huh? We've only been out here six hours!" he shouts. I glance upwards to see dusk! The sun begins to set and the sky is filled with twilight. "Eh…fine. Maybe we've been out here long enough. Let's scrounge up dinner." Iruka and Naruto act as my crutches as we lumber back to the streets.
"We'll start again tomorrow morning. I won't be satisfied until you can make a clone." Naruto tells me. I smile but in reality my limbs feel like lead. I need to rest. We eat at Ichiraku (again). Iruka and I chat about different things while Naruto focuses on putting the stand out of business.
"Maybe you're like Rock Lee, if that's the case maybe you should talk to Gai…" Iruka suggests.
"GAI?" I choke on my ramen. I think Gai is hilarious but the idea of training under him scares the hell out of me. And I don't think I'd look good with a bowl cut head of hair. I shiver at the thought of Gai and Lee making walk around the village on my hands 100 or more times! My arms would disintegrate!
"He doesn't need Gai! Why would he when he's got me to help him!" Naruto pats me on the back. After we finish Iruka says goodnight and leaves.
The two of us start walking back to the apartment. When we get there we see Hinata waiting on in front of the door! "Hinata! Why are here? Something bothering ya?" Naruto asks her.
She immediately starts blushing as she turns to face her crush. Sheesh, that crush could crush a mountain. "OH! Naruto! Hello…" she says, she looks at me and bows. "Um…your name was Paul right? Uh…can I ask you a question? In private?" she requests. A record scratches in my head when I hear that. 'What? Me?'
"Paul? You want to talk to him? Fine, why don't you come in after you talk?" Naruto chirps.
"Oh, sure…if there's time." Hinata responds. Naruto goes inside leaving me alone with Hinata.
Even though I'm amazed beyond belief I smile and say, "So, what do you need? Ask away."
Hinata stares at me with her big eyes and says, "Um…I don't mean to be rude…but…" I lean in closer. "Yes?" I say. "Please find another place to live." She finishes. 'What's this?'
"You mean move out? But why?" I inquire, surprised. "I haven't told anyone this…but…I…Naruto is very…"she doesn't finish as her face becomes blood red.
"Special to you?" I finish. She nods her head.
"Hinata, I'm a boy so you really don't have anything to worry about," I tell her. She gulps and then stares hard at me.
"Well…if I can't live with Naruto I don't want anyone else to!" she shouts uncharacteristically at me.
"Hinata you're being ridiculous! You are a very nice little girl and I'd be happy to do you favor but I have nowhere else to go! Sorry." I apologize. She sighs and takes a fighting stance!
"Well I'm sorry too, but you leave me no choice." I step back, panicking.
"HUH? HEY! WAIT A MINUTE!" I cry in alarm. Then to my terror she rushes at me.
"HHYYYAAAHHHH!" Hinata roars.
That's chapter 4. If anyone was wondering, school and studying for my finals has eaten up a lot of my time. FYI, I'll try to finish the next chapter by Christmas! Thanks and PLEASE REVIEW!