ok, so let's just ignore the whole LilyxSeverus thing now and his reasoning and all because if we didn't, everything would be screwed up with this fic. Not that fics are true anyways, but if he had Lily in this one, then his angst would be unfounded and blahblahblah I need a plot. So forgive me please for my weak tenses that I've noted and for the relative shortness but as you may have noted, I do not write very explictly, though I might at another time for Y!gallery... Anyway! let the angst of our lovely Severus continue!

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Severus could tell he was getting impatient. The near sex yesterday only made Black more impatient than ever and the more Sirius tried to get in his pants, the more irritated with Sirius he became. Because sometimes Sirius would get halfway into a hand job when he had to stop because his Marauders appeared. Sometimes he'd get halfway through necking him when they heard footsteps down the corridors. All in all, he could tell that the damn Gryffindor was getting angry. And an angry Sirius Black was something that Severus did not want to see.

They were sitting side by side in the corner of the library, huddled over a book from which Severus was trying to teach. He tried to ignore the incessant tapping at the cover and the sighs emitted every few minutes and the hair that tickled at his face as well as his half erection that told him to give up the studying.

Finally resigning without a second consideration, he shut the book, patiently placing it in his bag and glanced sideways at Sirius who now had that ridiculous sexy smirk across his face. I love it when he looks like that.

"Ready now?" Sirius teased.

"Fine," he muttered.

Sirius smirked wider as he leaned around Severus to take him into a kiss.

Ahh, Merlin, why does he always feel so good? He let him push his tongue through and grasp at his tie, pulling him even closer. He ended the kiss abruptly, eyes boring into Severus' before taking to his neck again, pulling down his collar with his free hand to lick at the Slytherin's collar bone. Severus let a small gasp escape as Sirius sucked at the sensitive pale flesh. He gripped onto the hand that held his tie, trying to pull him as close as possible before Sirius decided to straddle him properly on the floor.

He still held the bits of Severus' clothing as he never broke contact.

Why now? I've held out… Am I so scared of him? Me?

Severus couldn't deny that foreplay was his favorite bit, especially as Sirius tightened his grip with his legs, loosening his hands to hold the other's waist. And how he loved it in the library, like this at night after everyone's gone. The darkness was amazing here, enveloping the two of them just enough so they could see each other in close contact.

He leaned forwards to suck at his bottom lip, sliding his hands up to rip open those damn buttons.

"Severus," Sirius sighed.

He said my name? That's new…

"Mm?"

Black pushed him back against the books, sitting back up to slip off his shirt and slide a hand down his pants, before he descended again, breathing into Severus' mouth.

"Fuck me."

Severus watched as he leaned back again and unzipped himself, pulling his dick out of his pants, rubbing himself gently as he kissed him again. With his other hand, he loosened Severus' belt, then unbuttoned his shirt and unzipped him, pushing down his shorts with a finger to expose his growing erection.

He held onto the boy atop him tightly, swallowing the gasps that needed to be emitted, and slid down the books to lie properly on the floor. He tried to ignore the sight just inches from him, instead concentrating on the feel of the rough stone against his back.

Sirius begged and pleaded but their sex had never felt like this. It was… unnerving. He wanted to know what was going through his lover's head as he prepared himself to ride him.

The pants had slipped down with the shorts as Sirius continued to suck as his lips. His hair swayed as he kicked off his clothing and lay atop Severus, grinding their penises together.

"Sirius," he breathed. He wrapped a hand around themselves, the other playing with Sirius' hair. Sirius held onto his hand, the other pressed firmly on the floor to keep himself slightly propped as he slid forward and back, forward and back, engorging the heads as precum began to drip down Severus' bony hip.

There's – something he's not saying. Severus wasn't so dumb as to not realize that Sirius' movements weren't normal. He wanted to ignore it, he wanted to get over this fucking angst in their relationship and just shag and… be boyfriends. If there was something going on that Sirius wasn't telling him, that would be a poor decision on his part…

Sirius took his hand away, pulling Severus' away as well to admire the swelling flesh. He knelt up and spread himself, and then lowered his ass down on Severus, gasping as the other filled him up in one push.

Biting his own lip, Severus drew blood and closed his eyes, feeling Sirius pump himself up and down with increasing rhythm. Holy fuck. Ahh, he loved this, how he fucking loved this feeling. And he loved Sirius.. but how he would hope at moments that Sirius would say the same. Sometimes, he felt like he almost did but then shut his lips again and turn away or give a sly smile before returning to his work…

And shit, he could feel himself coming… always the best moments, even better when they could do it together, which they haven't done in a while.

He thought he heard himself mutter his lover's name before delving back in his thoughts. Another kiss and a gasp made him think of the first time he was with Sirius, in that dingy storage room when he didn't have to think about anything or their consequences. When they could just fuck for the hell of it. Over and over. But shit… Now that love was involved? What kind of mess did he get himself into?

Sirius' moisture rippled down his stomach to the stones, seeping into the crevices and he collapsed, gripping Severus tightly. Just a moment later, he hissed in his ear, "You're distracted."

What the hell was going on with him? His impulses continued for another moment… but…

"Finish me," he demanded.

Sirius bit his lip before scooting down to engulf his flesh.

Craning his head back as far as possible so as to not watch, he tried concentrating on just the feelings and the scent and the sound to push those pesky thoughts and doubts from his mind. He had never felt so much as once before for a single person, and while he wanted this love to be as simple as possible, he knew it was impossible and wasn't right for him.

His orgasm was weak.. and Sirius noted it. Severus saw it again, that anger, the impatience. It was too soon!

Please…