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My eyes opened to a white ceiling and an annoying beeping was ringing in my ear. Slowly I looked around to realize I was alone in the hospital wing. I mentally groaned and cautiously sat up then all my memories flooded back to me. Yelling at Dimitri, him saying I didn't care, me telling him I loved him, and him kissing me. Taking it all in was kind of a shock because I could hardly believe it happened. I mean Dimitri and I kissed! That alone made I smile spread across my face, but where was he? You would think he'd want to be here when I woke up but he wasn't.

I reached through the bond and found him sitting on his bed reading some western book. Well that was normal, but why couldn't he just read it here and be with me? Wow, I sounded like some crazy controlling girl friend, we hadn't even decided what we were going to do yet and I already wanted him waiting on me. I decided that I would just go see him once I was out of here and I was just about to leave him when someone walked out of his bathroom. He looked up to see Avery standing there wearing his shirt –which I now realized he wasn't—and a thong. She sat next to Dimitri who was only in boxers and began to nip at his neck. That was enough for me, I pulled out of his head and back into the hospital.

"Rose," Dr. Olendzki looked at me with concern, "are you ok?" I shook my head as I looked at the floor because that was all I could do. Tears pushed at the back of my eyes, but I couldn't let them fall, not here. "Ok, well you're free to go. Just no strenuous work for a couple days." I looked up and she smiled at me so I smiled back weakly. Then I hopped off the bed and walked out to the forest near the edge of the campus.

Once I was secluded in the trees I leaned against one and slip all the way done. My face fell into my hands while my elbows rested on my knees and I just breathed in and out. The pain was unbelievable. Had I imagined last night? Was Dimitri playing with me? Or was I just stupid enough to think he actually cared about me? Thoughts like that ran though my head nonstop as I just sat in the cluster of trees. I must have lost track of time because by the time I'd stop thinking the sun was about to rise which meant it was almost curfew. I stood up, brushed all the leaves and snow off me, then started walking to my room.

I was nearly thee when someone called my name and I turned to find none other than Dimitri Ivashkov. My jaw clinched as he walked over to where I stopped and just looked at him. "What?" The words came out sounding a little more pissed than I wanted, but he deserved it so I didn't feel bad.

Dimitri looked taken aback but shook it off, "Adrian's been looking for you all day."

"You knew where I was you could've told him." At this point I was just trying to keep from yelling at him so I kept my answer short then turned to walk away.

He caught my arm before I even took two steps and I looked back at him. "Rose don't do this," he pleaded.

"Why not? I mean you kiss me then I see you with Avery in your room so I mean how should I act?"

Dimitri pulled his hand back and looked at the ground, "Rose what happened last night it shouldn't have happened at all."

I pulled my lips together between my teeth to keep from attacking him and tried not to show how hurt I was. "Of course because you're royal, I'm not. You're important, I'm not. You are Dimitri Ivashkov and I'm that girl." A humorless laugh escaped my lips as I just looked at him.

"Rose it's not that I just—"

"Save it Dimitri," I cut him off. "I've had enough disappointment from you to last a life time." With that I walked away to my room and slammed my door. I was done with Dimitri. Friends, that's all we'd be –if we could even manage that. I wanted to hate him, I really did, but I just couldn't. Yes, I was furious, but not enough to hate him. Maybe it was because I knew we'd never work out. Or I never truly believed he liked me anyway. But for whatever reason I wasn't going to waste my time crying or hurting over him anymore. I'd move on to someone better, someone who actually cared about me. Someone like—

"Rose open the door!" He knocked rapidly.

I walked over and open the door to find none other than Adrian. "Hey." I gave him a weak smile and moved so he could come in then shut the door.

"Come here," he opened his arms to me and I walked into them. His arms held me tightly as I buried my face into his chest. Adrian rubbed small circles into my back and we just stood there together because it was just that simple. Things were easy with Adrian, almost natural. We could have a conversation without saying a word or spend hours together talking about nothing and everything at the same time. I knew him like the back of my hand without a stupid bond and he knew me exactly the same way. He was perfect and because of Dimitri I had failed to see that. I needed someone who could care about me for once, and could be there for me, and wouldn't always put himself first. I needed Adrian and here he was just like always. Ever since the bond it'd never been Dimitri to comfort me or just be with me. It was always Adrian and I was so stupid for never seeing it before.

"Adrian," I mumbled into him.

"Yeah?" He mumbled into my hair.

"Do you ever think about us?" I looked up into his beautiful green eyes. "You know, being together."

He smiled at me and let out a small chuckle, "Baby steps, little dhampir. You can't be over my cousin and into me all in one night."

I smiled and shook my head at him, "Adrian, I'm serious." I then jokingly pushed him and he wound up falling on my bed.

"Woahhh there Rose, at least buy me a drink first!" He held up his hands as if to keep me away and I just laughed.

"Adrian!" He laughed as I flopped on to the bed with him. Then he turned on the TV and we spent the rest of the night watching whatever was on and talking about anything we could think of.

It was nearly three in the morning when we were both finally tired and Adrian decided it was time for him to go. I walked him over to my balcony door where he could take the stair to the ground and walk to the Ivashkov wing without being seen. He smiled down at me as I opened the door for him and kissed my forehead, "To answer your earlier question, yes. I do think about us together. And maybe some day we will be." That being said he walked out into the day light and down the stairs then headed to his home. I then closed the door and couldn't wipe a smile off my face until I fell asleep.


The next week was actually bearable. Dimitri avoided me and didn't pull me into his head at all, which was fantastic. Adrian and I spent all of our free time together and he even asked me to the dance tonight. I wasn't planning on going –which he was ok with—but when Lissa hear he'd asked she wouldn't let us not go.

Now we were currently sitting in my room getting ready and waiting on our dates. Lissa had curled my hair, put on some light make up to match my black skin tight dress that came to mid-thigh and blood red heels, then instructed me to sit on my bed and do nothing so I wouldn't mess anything up. With my help Lissa had pinned all her hair up into a beautiful bun and done her make up to match her amazing emerald green dress that matched her eyes perfectly also came to mid-tight and showed of her thin figure that she paired with some light tan heels that matched her skin tone. She'd just barely put the finishing touches to her outfit when there was a knock on my door.

Lissa smiled at me and squealed, "They're here!"

I laughed at her as she skipped to the door and opened it. She greeted Adrian then turned all her attention to her own date Aaron –who she'd stolen from some girl named Mia or whatever. Adrian had my full attention in his black slacks and white button up with the first few buttons undone and his sleeves rolled up to right at his elbows. He smiled at me in approval as I walked up to him and hugged him. "Hi," I smiled when we pulled away.

"Hi yourself, little dhampir you look hot." I laughed and slapped him in the arm. "Ow! What? It's true." I blushed as he threw his arm over my shoulders and we started walking to the dance.

"So what's the plan for after the party?" I asked looking up at him.

"I was thinking we go to one of the many after parties, then if we're not too drunk to function we can head back to my place and watch one of my many assortment of movies." He explained enthusiastically.

"Sounds perfect." I smiled. It was then I realized I'd been smiling a lot this week, and it was all thanks to Adrian. He really was a great guy and I had found myself worrying less and less about Dimitri. Yes, Dimitri was always a lingering thought in my mind because of course I was going to be his guardian and I am bonded to him. But I was allowed to have a boyfriend and that was what I considered Adrian even though it wasn't official.

"Rose, dance with me!" Lissa yanked me away from my date and on to the floor of people. We danced and laughed for a while until she spotted someone and excused herself. I watched as she walked over to a dark haired guy –who I recognized as Christian Ozera—and snuck off into the crowd with him.

I was tempted to follow her when a hand closed around mine, "Trying to run away?" Adrian joked.

I smiled at him, "Never."

We danced together for a few songs until dancing turned into grinding. We were getting very dirty, just like everyone else and very drunk due to waiters constantly walking around with spiked punch.

There was a slight tingle of jealousy in my mind and I didn't understand what it was from until I was pulled into Dimitri's head. He was at the dance –which was unlike him—and looking directly at me. I pulled out of his mind and looked around until I found him. The hurt in his eyes was easy to see, but Avery was also easy to see because she was grinding against him. I had stopped dancing and Adrian noticed. He turned to see what was stopping me and saw his cousin, which no doubt angered him. I looked back at Adrian to see jealousy in his eyes as well, I was about to reassure him there was nothing going on when he kissed me. Not like 'sweet first kiss' kissed me but 'hardcore, inappropriate for public' kissed me.

I shoved him away quickly, "Adrian what the fuck?" I scolded him then looked back to see Dimitri was gone.

"What do you mean 'what the fuck'? I saw you staring at him Rose. How can you act like you want me all week when you're still in love with him?" He yelled back at me. I knew he was just drunk and wouldn't be saying this if he was sober so I wasn't taking it seriously.

"Adrian, I do want to date you, but I don't want you kissing me just to piss off Dimitri." I kept calm in order to keep him from being pissed and to not slap him for being a dick.

"You still care about him," he looked taken aback and disgusted.

"Of course I do! He's my future charge and—"

"Guard me," he cut me off quickly.

"What?" I asked confused and hoping it was just the alcohol getting to me.

"Be my guardian."

"Adrian, you know I can't. I'm bound to Dimitri."

"No, that's just your excuse so you wouldn't have to be away from him. The truth is you don't want to guard anyone else." Anger flashed in his eyes and I realized that it wasn't just the alcohol that was making him say this; he really was upset about Dimitri and me being bonded.

"Adrian, I can't help that I'm bonded to him but I am and that makes me the best person to guard him." I tried to explain, but I could tell he wasn't listening.

"Whatever," he downed the remained of his drink and walked away.

I gave half a thought to follow him, but thought better of it and realized it would be better to talk when he was sober. I walked around and talked to people for a while then got bored and went outside. I was alone in the moon light and was absentmindedly following a set of large foot prints in the snow. They lead me across campus to the Ivashkov wing and stopped in front of a door I knew well. I sighed at I turned the knob and the door to Dimitri and Adrian's house opened. I walked in then heard yelling and slamming coming from upstairs in Dimitri's room. Quickly I kicked off my heels then ran up the stairs taking two at a time. When I made it to his door I paused for a second wondering if he was having sex, then realized there was only one set of foot prints so I threw open the door and was shocked by what I saw. It was Dimitri –still in his black slacks and black button up with the first two buttons undone and the sleeves rolled up—but it was what he was doing that scared me. He was wrecking his room completely. There was a broken mirror on his wall, an overturned nightstand, a chair that had been thrown at the wall, his mattress was flipped on top the floor, and now he was about the throw a vase at the wall.

Without thinking I ran towards him and grabbed his hand with the vase. "Dimitri what are you doing?" But he was so absorbed in what he was doing that when he realized that he couldn't throw the vase he let it go and grabbed something else. That something else just happened to be the last family picture of him and his mother which I knew how much he loved. I dropped the vase safely on his mattress and this time grabbed the frame in one had and his face with the other. "Dimitri stop!" His eyes connected with mine and his grip on the frame weakened a little. "This isn't you. This isn't what you want to do. Ok? You need to stop." I spoke softly to him and slowly he lowered his arm that was ready to throw the picture to his side and let go of the frame all together.

I took it and turned to put it down but his arms flew around my waist holding me close to him, "No!" He shouted sounding so scared. "Please don't leave me Rose."

"I wasn't I was just going to put the frame…" The words died in my mouth as I saw just how vulnerable he was now and realized what he truly meant. "Dimitri I could never leave you." My hand was back on his face now, caressing his cheek, trying to soothe him.

"I just—when I saw you with Adrian I just snapped and then when I was in your head and he asked you to guard him I just couldn't take it. I—Rose you can't leave me," his face fell into my neck and he started to cry, "You can't leave me."

I let the frame drop safely on to the ground then wrapped one arm around his back and the other hand stroked his hair. "Never, Dimitri. I will always be here." I whispered to him and it was true. Nothing and no one could ever take me away from him. I would always be here for him. I'm never going to leave you, I thought to him.

Dimitri must have heard me because his tears slowly stopped and then he pulled away from me. "I'm sorry, I don't really know what happened." He wouldn't look at me as he spoke and I knew he was embarrassed for breaking down.

"It's fine. Honestly what else am I for?" I joked and then regretted it when he did look at me with outrage all over his face.

"Rose you deserve more that this! More than me, don't you get that? You deserve someone that makes you happy, not someone that makes you faint from over loading you with emotions, because that's exactly what happened when I kissed you. Someone that doesn't hurt you or disappoint you or randomly snaps when you're with another guy. Someone who isn't out of control like me. Someone that's not me. Rose I'm not good enough for you!" He was gesturing madly with his hands as he spoke, actually more like yelled at me.

"Dimitri that's not your choice." I spoke calmly. "If I want to be with you, if that makes me happy, you should be ok with that. Now if you don't want to be with me I'd understand you acting the way you did last week, but you should have just said so instead of hooking up with Avery."

"Me not want to be with you?" He spat the words out as if they were poison and let out a humorless laugh. "As if that were even possible. Rose you're amazing and you're more perfect that any of the other plastic Barbies here. Better than Avery, better than Lissa or anyone. I'd have to be gay not to want you, and I want you so badly it hurts me. But you deserve better. You deserve better than Adrian as well, because you're not just hot, you are beautiful. The most beautiful woman inside and out and I just wish you didn't want to be with someone as unworthy as me or Adrian." The way he spoke with so much passion about me, about the way he cared about me it just all made my heart melt.

I brought my hand back to his cheek and smiled, "You're not unworthy Dimitri, please don't ever think that again."

His hand covered mine on his face as he leaned into my palm. "We can argue this another time Roza." He smiled and closed his eyes, "Now I just want to rest."

I started to pull my hand away, a little hurt how he just blew this all off, "Alright well I can—"

His eyes shot open and his hand tightened on mine, "No, I need you to stay with me!"

"Ok." I agreed putting my hand back in place. "But Dimitri you can't stay here, it's a wreck."

He just chuckled in response, "Where else are we going to go?"

"My room," and we did. We grabbed shut his door, grabbed my shoes, and walked hand in hand to my room. Where we watched movies and Dimitri fell asleep lying on my chest right over my heart. Where he always would be.


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