Chapter 4

A/N: Although some events in the story may be inspired by future spoilers that have already been released,, after some consideration, I've decided to change certain details. As I have no idea of the actual personalities of future characters, only names, I've decided to invent my own characters to avoid any potential clash when these characters are eventually introduced into the actual show. Anyway, thanks so much for reading and I hope you continue to do so.

Aaron stood outside Bar West and inhaled heavily. He pushed the door open, a tidal wave of noise, heat and the weight of the amount of people inside sweeping over his face. He felt his stomach fizz and his throat become scratchy. After all this time, Aaron was amazed at how a simple building could still have such a petrifying effect upon him. He'd been to Bar West countless times with Jackson and his friends, he thought he'd started to feel settled in here, like he belonged there. It was somewhere he need not fear being judged or isolated. Now he felt isolated. So isolated he felt physically sick. It was so different alone; it felt nearly as terrifying as when he'd first stepped inside almost a year ago. Those memories were still so painful and stepping up to the bar by himself, knowing he exuded nerves and anxiety, brought them all screaming back.

The bar was busy. He waited silently, money in hand. Every time the stressed bar staff served somebody but himself, he felt another pang of anxiety. It was too busy. He wasn't going to get served. He wasn't going to be able to get a seat. It would be so easy to leave, just walk right out the door like he'd never made the mistake to come in in the first place. No, he was past that, he was past giving in, he wasn't that person anymore. So much had happened since the last time he'd felt like this. He downright refused to go back.

Ironically, considering the temperature of the crowded bar, Aaron felt cold. He missed Jackson; the way he used to slip his hands around his waist and rest his chin on Aaron's shoulder while they both waited at the bar. The feel of Jackson's stubble against his cheek, his big brown eyes waiting patiently and happily. Aaron always responded with a snide comment about being Jackson being soppy, but he never pulled away; not once. He loved it. Right now, as he waited alone, he hoped Jackson had noticed that, had read him deeper than his cheeky putdowns.

Aaron finally got served. It felt peculiar to only order one drink; like his whole wait had in the end proved pretty worthless. He hoped nobody had noticed him wait that long for just one drink. Sidling his way through the crowd at the bar, he reached a quieter area where the sitting area dropped down onto the dancefloor. He rested against the metal bar and supped at his bottle of beer. He looked around at the throngs of people talking, laughing and dancing. Most people seemed to be in small groups. One group stuck out in particular. A guy about Aaron's age was pressed with his back against the bar, glugging at a bottle of Champagne while his friends, three guys and one girl, chanted for him to down it. Aaron noticed an embarrassingly over-sized badge on his checked shirt; obviously a birthday boy.

A hard shove from behind woke Aaron from his people-watching, habitually he swung around, shoulders raised and glared at the perpetrator.

'Sorry mate', the guy said with an apologetic grin and raised hand. Aaron relaxed and let the guy past. The man shuffled away but looked back at Aaron one more time as he disappeared into the crowd. Aaron watched his eyes quickly survey him.

'Oh God,' Aaron thought, 'he's noticed I'm by myself. He must think I'm a right sad act. Oh God, I'm one of those guys. The ones you smirk at for standing alone, usually old guys with their Dad-at-a-wedding flashy shirts. Aaron's confidence plummeted even further. He could have sworn he'd heard it thud as it hit the bottom of his stomach. He could only imagine how pathetic he looked. Suddenly his beer tasted acrid and he struggled to swallow it down. He needed it though. Perhaps it would make it easier. Plus it felt less awkward to be doing something.

'I could just be waiting for my mate to come back from the toilet', Aaron told himself. The people around him would surely notice differently though.

''Scuse me mate.' A group of four lads sat at the table next to him had got to their feet and were evidently leaving. The one who spoke to Aaron was obviously attractive. However, it was the man who followed behind him who caused Aaron to stare. Around his neck swung a silver chain. Not in any way similar to Jackson's in shape, yet enough for it to trigger happy, then tragic memories of his boyfriend. Aaron let the men past then grabbed the table for himself. The table was small but it immediately felt too big for Aaron. As soon as he sat down, he knew that he'd have to get back up again pretty soon to go to the toilet. Those three or four pints at the Woolie were starting to sit uncomfortably. Aaron forced his drink down and struggled to decide whether to avoid all eye contact or to make an effort to look comfortable and confident to those around him. That was the point right? To look approachable? Or was it? He was sure that wasn't why he'd come here- to meet someone. He was with Jackson- or was he? Their argument was pretty big. After all, weren't his own last words to Jackson 'forget it?' What did that mean? What did Jackson think that meant? Subconsciously, had he really wanted to finish it with Jackson? Had he really actually come here to move on, leave all of that stuff behind, or had he come to prove a point? To show Jackson how stupid his 'open relationship' suggestion really was- to show him exactly how much it would hurt when he got with somebody else? Was he really that bitter, that cruel; that in order to prove some silly point he'd be willing to cause Jackson so much pain? Escaping the village 'to think' had actually made things entirely more complicated. He looked up to find a guy Paddy's age watching him from across the dancefloor, a creepy smile stretched across his saggy face.

'Ok, that's it, this is too weird.' Aaron decided. He necked down the rest of his bottle and edged through the crowd towards the toilets.

As the music drowned out, a putrid smell of urine greeted his nostrils. Aaron did his business, washed his hands and headed towards the door. A voice from the grey, graffiti-stained cubicle to his right made him pause.

'Shit!'

There was a small snap and a phone battery skidded across the floor in front of him. The door clicked open and Aaron instantly recognised the man as the birthday boy he spotted earlier. He clutched what looked like three other pieces of his defunct phone in his hand and reached out to collect the battery.

'Oh, sorry mate.' The guy said, only just noticing Aaron. Aaron rolled his eyes.

'S'alright.'

The guy smiled. Aaron noticed how faultless his gently tanned skin was, a gentle sweep of stubble gracing his face. He had deep blue eyes that Aaron could swear smiled at him even more than his mouth did. He wore a fitted blue, white and black checked shirt which emphasised his athletic torso. He had closely cropped black hair that was longer than Aaron's, but only long enough to just allow for a styled, waved flourish.

Aaron indicated that the guy was allowed to reach in front of him to grab his phone battery. The birthday boy did so.

'That really isn't going to work is it?' The man asked. Aaron wasn't sure whether he was supposed to answer.

'What? Once it's been on that floor? Naaa mate. To be honest I'm not sure I'd even wanna touch it.' Aaron answered.

'Yeah you're right.' The guy slung the wet battery into the sink next to Aaron and grimaced. 'Shit. You know, usually I'm that guy that mocks people who break their phones on nights out, but look at me.' He sighed laughingly. Aaron smiled. The guy's teeth were perfectly straight and bestowed an amazing radiance to his already addictive smile.

'Not the best birthday I'm guessing?' Aaron instantly regretted bringing it up, had he revealed too much of how he'd already noticed this stranger earlier in the night? The man squinted, obviously questioning how Aaron knew it was his birthday.

'The badge.' Aaron indicated, relieved at his own quick thinking. 'Good save' he thought.

'Shit, I forgot about that, how embarrassing!' The man quickly unpinned the badge and laid it next to the sink, crossing Aaron's path. An obviously inebriated tall bald man entered the impossibly small toilets. The birthday boy moved into Aaron to let the man past. Aaron felt his shirt touch his hand.

'Yeah to be honest, I think the night has just come to a natural end.' The man continued, throwing the rest of his battered phone into the sink. A loud cough followed by an awful spluttering from a cubicle behind them caused them to lock eye contact once again. They shared playful disgusted looks and made for the exit. The birthday boy held the door for Aaron as he led the way out. There was a brief touch of fingers as Aaron took the weight of the sticky door. The two walked a little distance out into the bar. The birthday boy cut short, spotting his mates across the other side of the dancefloor. Aaron watched as they grinded up against each other to the music. The explicit closeness of the girls and boys made Aaron question which, if any of them, were actually gay. He wondered if the fit, stubbled guy in front of him was. Aaron watched Birthday Boy's flawless face change as he inwardly decided not to return to them. Without another word, he fought his way through the crowds towards the bar's exit. Aaron was already intending to head out. As they both headed in the same direction and Aaron swerved into the gaps the birthday boy created in the crowd ahead of him, he wondered whether their 'connection' was still there, or whether the acceptable time for them to acknowledge each other had ended as Birthday Boy had passed him the toilet door.

The two young men didn't share another word as they both walked out into the cold. Aaron felt awkward as they moved apart by the side of the road. It kind of summed up his night, his day in fact. He pulled out his phone and selected the taxi company from his contacts list.

'Oh, mate. I don't suppose I could borrow your phone could I? After yer know, what happened to mine!' Aaron jumped as Birthday Boy made his way over to him; he looked even fitter now Aaron could see him more clearly. He hoped he hadn't noticed him jolt with surprise. He hard the taxi company's number start to ring in his ear.

'Err, yeah sure. Just give me a sec.' Birthday Boy smiled. Aaron felt his insides melt. 'Oh! Errr hi, yeah, could I have a taxi please?...Bar West, Hotton….to Emmerdale…yeah, cheers, thanks.' Aaron hung up.

'Emmerdale?'

'Yeah…'

'I'm from Robblesfield!'

'Really?' Aaron questioned if this could really be happening. He felt his face redden. Again, he hoped Birthday Boy hadn't noticed.

'Yeah! You don't mind if I share yours do yer, might work out cheaper?'

'Erm, no, sure…'

'Sorry, I'm being well forward aren't I? I blame that bubbly crap them lot made me drink in there!' He laughed. 'I'm Dan.' He held out his hand.

'Aaron.' Aaron shook it.

'Nice to meet you Aaron', Dan smiled.