A/N: As I do realize my chapters are getting shorter and worse by the day, I am currently writing three fics at the same time :P
Please do tell me if it's horrible, and I'll try to get it better for the next chapter. Thanks for reading!
Going to school was a nightmare. Truly a nightmare coming true, which was rather ironical considering what the girl had gone through in her still very short lifetime. But Monday morning was a fact, and Lily Roe Scott did get up to take a shower at 6:am, trying to wash of her fear, regrets. She already knew it would be horrible, embarrassing She hated high school, not more than anything, cause there were many things she hated more than that, but she did hate high school. Thinking that made her sound like a typical teenager, and supposedly, sometimes the girl could be just that. Those were the easy days, when the thing she worried of the most was facing the boy she had kissed. But that problem on its own, was just a part of the big, awful story which was Lily's life.
For once thinking of what she was wearing, the girl put on a pair of tight jeans and a big knitted shirt to hide beneath. After doing her make-up, she left her room and entered the kitchen. They were such a perfect family; Lucas, Peyton and Sawyer. Seeing them at the table, laughing at something Sawyer just said, made her feel like she was intruding on their lives. "Wow, she's up," Lucas said, making an obvious comment about her very quiet Sunday. Even though it wasn't a very nice thing to say, it gave Lily some relief, feeling that a part of old Lucas was back. Nodding, she went to the fridge and took an apple, sitting down at the table.
"What's going on Lily?" Peyton spoke, the woman had lost both of her moms, and Lily had always thought that she would understand, if anyone. Perhaps that was the case, she knew that after all that time, she couldn't possibly spend the entire day cradled on her bed because Karen was gone. Peyton knew there was something else to it, however, Lily wasn't planning on ever telling them the whole story, so she simply shook her head, saying it was nothing. Somehow, both adults seemed to accept that, Sawyer however, was a besserwisser to the extreme. "That was not nothing, Lily.." the girl began, her dad stopping her mid-sentence. "You should go get dressed, honey," he said to the twelve year old, still wearing her pajamas.
Surprisingly, the girl listened to her father, immediately getting up from her chair going to her room, which resulted in both Peyton and Lucas staring at her, obviously wanting some kind of explanation. "You're great with her, Luke," she said, quickly, referring to his daughter. "She's right though, something is wrong," Peyton said, making Lily understand that they didn't shut Sawyer up to keep Lily from talking about it, but to keep Sawyer from hearing it. "I had a fight with Jamie, that's all," Lily said, shaking her head. "You guys never fight," Lucas stated, looking slightly shocked at his sister's announcement. "Yeah, now we do. Could you give me a ride to school?" Throwing the subject out of the way, the girl rose from the table, preparing herself mentally for high school.
It was just what she had expected, except for how it was worse in her head. Jamie hadn't looked at her all day, leaving her all alone with her thoughts. Thoughts that made her believe he would never look at her the way he had actually believing their friendship was over. Making her plan how she would get out of Tree Hill as soon as she turned eighteen. She would, the girl decided, she would leave. She would go to Australia, get herself an apartment. Leave him behind, leave all of this behind. That was what would be best for her. Thinking of leaving eventually made her feel like she was running away from her life.
No matter how much time she had spent away from there, Tree Hill had always been her home. It was where her father had grown up, her mother, her brother. Although Lily was raised all over the world, Tree Hill was where her family would always be. It was where her parents were buried, where she had been born. Where Jamie was. It was all a little bit saddening, but also a very beautiful truth. Tree Hill was her home, the only home she would ever have, no matter how miserable she might be at the moment.
Not knowing that things could get worse, they did. Walking though the halls, she met Jamie, cheerleader Maddie on his arm, perhaps it wasn't something unusual, but it made Lily furious, and devastated at the same time. It was as if he was doing that, holding another girl around the waist, because he could, to bug her. To show her how he could be totally happy without her, as she was all alone, walking through the halls, not being dedicated one look from James Lucas Scott. Her brother had told her of him and Nathan, when he had first joined the Ravens. It made her sick seeing Jamie like his dad had been once, it made her hate him.
It was easier that way, being angry at him. It didn't make her want to cry, it didn't make her want to beg him to forgive her. It made her feel better about herself, even though being all alone for the first time since the day she begun at Tree Hill High. Hating the boy she loved was the easy way out, and that was the plan she was going with, ignoring him like he was ignoring her. Taking the easy way out was the best option for the girl who had been forced to go up many hills.
Going back home that afternoon, she had the weight of the world on her shoulders, trying forcefully to push it away, watching her life pass, minute by minute, waiting for the day, hour or minute it would get better. Waiting for something that could make her smile, something other than him. She needed that, a smile. One thing she was sure of, she was getting that, no matter what it took. She would be happy, somehow, without him. Deciding that, she tried figuring out how to go on like she had, but without him. She could talk to people, at school. She could go to parties, couldn't she? Without him. Knowing she could make things better by trying, she managed lifting some of that weight before getting back home to a family, a perfect one. One that actually did care for her, even if it wasn't near the family she wanted, the family she was supposed to have.