Chapter 4
I woke up and found myself curiously comfortable for haven fallen asleep on Gale's shoulder. Then realized that I was on my bed again, alone. Panic filled me as I allow every possible scenario of Gales absence to flow through my head. Fearfully I got up and rushed out of my car and into the first one I could think of, but Katniss' car was empty too. For a second I felt as if all of it was a lie and he was really here for Katniss and then I put my fingers to my lips and remember his kiss, a kiss that could never be faked. So I went into the next car where Peeta, Jure, and Haymitch's rooms were and peered in the windows. Coming across a meeting with Haymitch, Gale, Katniss, and Peeta. No doubt Katniss came and woke Gale up while I slept. I tried to push my ear to the door but the deafening sounds of the train made it nearly impossible. I caught words that I heard last night, Idiotic and fool. I was paying close attention that when Jure tapped me on my shoulder I almost died there knelt by the door.
'They aren't really happy that Gale is here are they' he asked.
'How did you know he was here' I asked ignoring his question.
'I helped him on the train' he said nonchalantly.
I looked at him with my mouth wide open in horror and surprise.
'No one really likes to be around the little boy crying because he is walking into a sure death. So when I saw Gale peeking around obviously looking for a way in I knew that if I propped open my window and began to wail anyone even remotely close by would walk away finding the sound unbearable.' His eyes filled with happiness, as if he done something good. My eyes met his dumbfounded.
'Why'
'I have you Zela, who do you have. Katniss, Peeta, they are more than willing to help you die to save me because they have been there, they know what its like to give yourself up to save another. But Gale he doesn't care about any of that he cares about you and I needed someone who would focus on keeping you alive. I know Gale would do that at any cost.'
He is too wise my brother; way older than thirteen having more understanding of the world than elderly men could have yet fueled by the foolish hopes of a kid. Words could not explain how I felt, nor could I make myself scold him for doing something for me, a rare feat indeed. So instead I hugged him and kissed him on his cheek. He made a noise and wiped the kiss off with the back of his hand.
'Yuck' he said and we both sat there for an hour while a battle was being fought on the other end of door.
Gale was the first to walk out fist tightened he almost passed us but stopped to look back at the room and saw us huddled on the floor. He looked into my eyes again trying to communicate something to me, was it hope or despair. Katniss came out then eyeing us immediately.
`I hope your happy Gale. They let Azalea become a tribute as a further punishment to me, to have to watch a girl in my same footsteps, and watch her fail as they should have me, and now they have agreed to go with our little lovers show again to torture me some more and as soon as she dies so will you. Your only as good to them as her life, and I guarantee you they will not let her live long.' Katniss said not hiding her disgust.
I got up not wanting to be inbetween their fighting and walked out, turning back only for a second to let Katniss know that our balance, our triangle has to be restored, if there was any hope of saving anyone.
'I'd save you Katniss, if it came down to you or Gale I'd save you.'
Those words probably wouldn't have been true mere seconds ago but now were one of the truest things I knew. If it came down to it I would save Katniss so that there would be balance in our group. So that everyone had someone to watch their back, and to remind Gale and Katniss who were both so bitter to each other that in the end Family matters, and we were all family to each other.
Breakfast was awkward, only eased by the smacking nosie of Jure as he once again inhaled another meal. Effie still eyed him as he ate but let go of her resilient tyrant for manners and added to the awkward silence. Effie and Haymitch took up the head of the table while, Jure and I sat on one side facing us was Peeta and Katniss, and off to the side thoroughly grubbing was Gale who like a third of us never experienced such delicacies. Its almost worth it I thought towards him isn't it, the glamor and the five star treatment almost makes up for the fact that we are here to die. Gale never once glanced my way and I imagined his ego was bruised at my earlier statement to Katniss. Not knowing that that declaration that choice I made was to save all of us, to keep our group together, to save my brother. After all breakfast we broke into strategy how would be want to present ourselves when we got off the train. Would we all march off idvidually giving the impression that we all could care less about the other; except for Peeta and Katniss or would we walk into together me holding Jure's hand and Gale holding mine portraying a fucked up group of brother, sister, and desperate lover, we chose the latter. This was going to be the seventy fourth Hunger Games all over again as far as the Gamemakers were concerned or even better. The new head Gamemaker giving the ok for Gale to come on the trip with us, probably spreding it all around the Capitol as his idea. Our only job now was to make the people of the Capitol love us. I got the same advice Haymitch gave to Peeta and Katniss let the terrible group of people placed there to make me look pretty do their job without complaint, and I silently wondered how long I could keep that promise. Katniss described the Capitol to me before but her descriptions felll horribly short. Not being able to capture the gleam from the city as their polished building reflected back at you perfectly or the density of the population as millions of people bussled around with many important things to do. The sky was even clearer here and you could make out every outline of the clouds in the sky and the slightly different shades of blue the sky was tinted. She also couldn't describe accurately how horrible the citzens looked with their purple wigs and pink lip stains, their poofy dresses and green color eyelined men. The smug look on their faces like they are better than others, and obvious surgered look they all had to them. As the train flew by I caught things normal people shouldn't have as a body part, a tail here, pig nose there, cat ears perking up as our sound caught their attention. These people were unnatural, and I hated them all. Jure on the other hand was overjoyed at the people he saw who looked too silly for words. He waved to them gingerly and they, in awe at his cute factor smiled and waved back. I fell back into the chair and watched Jure come alive with amazement at the window.
'Makes you sick doesn't it' Gale said bitterly in my ear, and I couldn't help with agreeing with him. I turned to face him and leaned toward his ear. 'You know why I said I would save Katniss right'
'Yea, the bitter, I want to be your man part of me wanted to be hurt by your statement but you were doing what you came here to do which is save Jure, and you were also doing something Katniss nor I could care less about at the moment you were saving our group which I'm sure means a lot you especially at this given state. But I'd be lying if I said I wish there was a selfish bone in your body and you could save me, but that's just a males ego so'.
For some reason this made me laugh, the thought that we could be back in district 12 and this problem would probably mean mountains more than it does now. Gale allowed himself to smile to and then whispered into my ear, 'I still love you'.
This time I couldn't control my reaction and my cheeks flushed with red and Gales smile grew. I wanted nothing more than to kiss him, but with Katniss and the others around I decided not to, instead I just laid my head on his lap as he softly stroked my long locks of hair. Katniss came to join us motioning for us to follow her, we got up and I brushed Jure's hair off his forehead and kissed it and continued to follow them. She brought us into my room and waited at the door until we both filled in.
'If we are going to keep everyone we want to keep alive we have to forget all this crap between us and focus on the goal ahead.' Katniss said closing the door. 'The three of us have been partners for years keeping each other backs and secrets. Nothing changes.' Katniss said eyeing me, showing me that my choice to save her if given the choice did indeed restore balance. Then her and Gale discussed battle strategies. While I ignored them completely still knowing that I was going to die in that arena and now I had to figure out how to do it without costing Gale his life. No one would give their life for me, I would never allow it. Katniss left the room without me even realizing it and Gales hands were on top of mine. 'Where are you right now' He asked. I didn't respond not having the heart to tell him while he and Katniss were planning how to keep me alive I was thinking about the ways I could die without him dying. 'Your eyes say more that your mouth ever could' I looked up and met his they returned to their harden state, something in there that scared me to the core. I faked a half smile got up from the bed and jumped in the shower stealing a moment away for myself and cried, silently. Gasped escaped from my throat as my body tired to catch itself. I sent silent prayers that the noise from the shower would mask from the horrible mangled noises that escaped from me. My tears mixing with the water and washing of my face, I couldn't tell what was falling harder the water from the shower head of from my eyes, I stayed in the shower longer than I should have permitted and when I finally gained some composure shut it off and wrapped my hair and my body in towels and left the bathroom steam following me out. Gale laid on the bed arms spread out, fists full of covers. He looked at me prepared to go off with another speech some full proof way he can convince me to fight for some beautiful life that was yet to be actualized but even though the shower covered up my tears, but it didn't hide my puffy eyes. He stopped what ever was about to come out of his mouth and just looked at me.
'I got soap in my eyes, shit hurts you know' I attempted a poor excuse for lying. He didn't say anything just stayed still.
'Its nothing to worry about anyways I'm a big girl, I'll be camera ready when it comes to look like the badass chick from district 12 who is in this thing to die.' I forced a smile on my face.
Gale got up from the bed slowly and walked towards me and picked me up and placed me carefully back on the bed inbetweeen him and held me. He took the towel off my head and my hair cascaded out filling what ever space we had between us, falling over my shoulder and his. He pulled back the hair on the right side of my body and kissed my forehead just as I did for Jure earlier, just as I did for someone I adored, someone I couldn't live without. I didn't cry, I just rested there in his arms letting my imagination run away with me.
'Its going to be ok' Gale whispered and I wanted nothing more than for that be true, that when I opened my eyes we would be back in district 12 and this would all be a dream, everything but Gale, that I would hope would stay with me, and like a foolish child closed my eyes really tight and opened them up and was faced with reality that this was truth, there was no going back now. I still had Gale but it came at a horrible price. Didn't they same some bull like things happen for a reason. Piff.