Disclaimer: As the world turns...it still belongs to V Roth. I just added my E.L.E plots and watch everyone scramble. Enjoy!

Part 4

There comes a time in a girl's life when she has to reevaluate things. Like when she wakes up for the second time in a week, hungover as hell, in place not her own, wearing clothes, not hers, and with no memory of how the fuck any of that happened.

Once again my friends have abandoned me.

I sit up in the bed I'm in and look around. The bed is comfortable like mine and the room is simply furnished. But that's where the similarities between my room and this one end.

There isn't much to go on here to give me any idea of where I might be. The only furniture in the room other than the bed, are two bedside tables, a dresser, and a small armchair. All the basic stuff that most apartments are furnished to start out with. The walls are bare and stark white. All the bedding and furniture are black. The curtains are black and keep out any light, making the room completely dark with only the tiniest sliver of the sun peeking through where the two curtains meet in the middle.

There is absolutely no personality at all in this room and it almost seems like it's never even used.

There are three doors in the room with two doors on one wall that I know will lead to the closet and bathroom. The wall that the head of the bed is against, is the one that has the door leading to the rest of the apartment. There is a bedside table between it and me and no sounds seem to be coming from the other side of it, so there's no hint for me there.

However, glancing in the direction of the door provides me some clue when I see on the nightstand a tall clear glass of water with a plate beside it where it looks like a few pills, hopefully, aspirin, are waiting for me. There also looks to be a small slip of paper beside it and that has me scooting from the center of the bed where I woke up and scrambling to pick up the paper and read what it says.

Take these. Drink that.

Whoever wrote the note, and left the water and aspirin, has way better penmanship than I do. It's small, neat and precise. Making me wonder if they used a computer to spit it out. Maybe I should hesitate to take pills left me by some unknown person, but even though I don't know where I am or who might be here, I don't feel unsafe. So, I do what the note instructs and then stumble my way to the door I think the bathroom is behind.

I flip on the light and have to blink for a second at it assaulting my sensitive eyes. It takes a second or two for my vision to clear, allowing me to get a good look at myself in the mirror. Not that I particularly care to look at what must be a complete mess.

My reflection is another surprise and mystery for me. I completely expected to wake up and find my makeup ruined and running over my face. Giving me raccoon eyes and a clown worthy smile. But my face is completely free of makeup. It also looks like my hair, definitely mused from sleep, was also recently washed because it looks to have dried while I slept too.

I panic for a second and run my hands over my body, but I already know that what I'm worried about didn't happen. If someone helped me wash up, it was completely non-sexual, or at the very least no actual sex took place. Of course, there probably isn't a way to know for sure until I find the person and ask them; but judging from the same frustrated, pent up feeling I started my night out with, I can pretty much guarantee nothing happened.

Between the pills, water and other signs I find as I look around the bathroom, I know whoever's place I'm at has at least been trying to make sure I'm okay and taken care of.

I smile and blush a little when I see a new tube of toothpaste and toothbrush, both still in their boxes, waiting for me next to the sink.

The clothes I had been wearing are neatly folded and on the bathroom counter right next to a new set of folded clothing. The new clothes are the normal nondescript workout clothes that most of the women in Dauntless wear. A black sports bra, tank top, and leggings. They are so generic that they could be mine or anyone else's for all know. And beside that is a pair of sneakers with a pair of rolled up socks stuck inside of one of them. Again, they could belong to anyone, but unless someone else likes to take their shoes off by pressing down the back of them because they can't be bothered to untie them, then these are definitely mine.

Another clue that lets me know this is all my stuff is the small, colorful burlap pouch that I hand painted and sewed together to hold makeup and toiletries, is on the counter beside the clothes.

So did I go and grab my stuff and bring it with me here to...wherever I am? If I did, why? And where is Ash at? Even if I decided not to hook up with him he still would have made sure I either got home or let me sleep it off at his place.

I put my hand on top the pile of workout clothes and feel the crinkle of paper and find another note written in the same precise handwriting with two words on it.

Wear this.

I feel the first bit of uneasiness filling and a nagging in the back of my mind that's trying to give me some clue as to who these notes are from. There is something about the bold script and tone of words that provides the clues that I'm simultaneously denying and dreading. But there's nothing I can do to change what's already happened. What I need to do is get answers. I can't do that unless I get my ass in gear.

I brush my teeth and root around in the pouch to see that it looks like someone just threw a few things I might need in there. There is some moisturizer, a couple of my hair bands to put my hair up, and deodorant.

I carry my club clothes out of the bathroom to find a bag sitting on the small armchair that I hadn't noticed earlier. Granted, it is the same deep black color that the chair is so in the dark it blended in. I would have completely passed it by if I hadn't spotted my heels on the chair as well. The bag turns out to also be mine. The one I carry to and from work. Its technically a leather purse but the style is that of a backpack. Big enough for me to shove an extra pair of scrubs in along with anything else that I might need during long days at work.

I feel a surge of relief at finding it and quickly grab it and unzip it to try and find my phone and hope I can get answers from it. I'm quickly disappointed though because all I see are things I normally keep it, minus the scrubs and also minus my phone and keys. My clutch is in there but when I opened it up all I find in it is lipstick and condoms. I scowl and shove my heels and clothes into the bag then work the zipper closed on the overfilled bag.

I look at the door that will lead to the rest of the apartment and hesitate. I can finally hear some kind of sounds coming from the other side and I know I'm going to need to face whatever...whoever...is out there.

Might as well get it over with.

As soon as I open the door the smell of food cooking and coffee brewing hits me full in the face. That smells inviting enough that I take the first few tentative steps forward into the hallway. Like my apartment with sade, the hallway to the bedrooms is short and really only has just enough room for the doors to the rooms. What wallspace there is that's free we filled with my artwork. Here it's crammed with bookshelves that are crammed with books.

This makes me pause to look over them with a frown. No one I know would have bookshelves filled to almost overflowing even if they are all organized neatly. Not even the person I had a niggling clue my mystery person could be would be someone to have this.

So who the hell did I end up going home with?

All hesitancy is gone. My temper at my carelessness is simmering and making me plow forward, only to stumble over my feet with a gasp when my body wouldn't stop the forward momentum I desperately wanted it to stop.

"You," I gasp out in surprise before I could stop the word from spilling out.

My eyes are locked on the man standing in the open and well-lit kitchen in disbelief as Eric turns from the stove with his hands full of plates. He takes one look at me and sighs, closing his eyes for a moment before he shakes his head and mutters something that I can't hear. He steps forward and motions with his head towards the island eating area.

"Going to go out on a limb here and say that you don't remember anything from last night, do you?"

My mind starts working overtime trying to figure out how Eric once again got involved in my night out.

I remember a few things. I remember not feeling as up to the night of dancing as I had been when I planned it. I remember the thought of dancing with Ash feeling wrong and a slight pang of disappointment that it wasn't going to be someone else I was dancing with. I also very clearly remember when things probably went downhill for me. When I realized that it was Eric's hands and presence I was craving; and that nothing and no one but him was going to do it for me. I decided a few more drinks would help me to get over that.

Big mistake.

He moves over to sit on one stool, leaving the one on the other side free, and it's clear that he means me to sit down and answer his question. I slowly do both. When my bag is on the floor, my butt is on the seat and my breath has found its way back into my lungs, I finally answer.

"It's all pretty much a blur," I reply without looking at him. I train my eyes on the plate he sits in front of me without really seeing what is on it.

"Well, that's just about par for the course." Even with the coldness, there is a weary undertone to it. I chance a look at him to see he's studying me with a frown. "Do you blackout every time you drink?"

I scowl at him, but it's really for myself as I shake my head and answer. "No. I do have a fairly low tolerance but I only have issues when I combine alcohol or overdo it."

He nods and the frown deepened. "Well, I'd say you hit both of those last night then. Should have stuck to the wine."

"You were there?"

He doesn't answer. Instead, he looks to my plate, pointedly. "Eat up. You're going to need energy for what I have in store for you."

I'm almost afraid to ask, especially with his lips twitching on the sides. "What's in store for me today besides work?"

"Oh, you aren't going to work." I immediately stiffen and go to protest but he stops me. "The weekend is over and the normal staff is back. Plus there are a few more being added to the rotation from now on. So the days you were supposed to have off from the clinic but didn't, you're getting them now. We will also be doing the training and assessments that should have already been done since you have the free time. "

I frown in confusion. "How is that possible?"

He shrugs and picks up his fork, answering while not looking at me. "Erudite owes us." There's something about the set of his shoulders and tone that tells me he's said all he's going to say on that.

With a sigh of resignation, I finally look down at my plate and really see what's on it. The wonderful smells turned out to be a spinach and cheese omelet with sides of sliced avocado and bacon. The food is surprising, delicious and a very welcome distraction.

It's also perfect hangover food and I dig in without speaking, sipping the coffee in between bites. It's not like I would really know what to say at the moment anyway. It doesn't stop my mind working hard trying to process everything while I eat.

Obviously, I'm in Eric's apartment. He got clothes for me in some way. I can only guess by using my keys that are missing? But why would he bother?

It's also obvious that he took care of me last night while being clear that nothing sexual happened. Again...why?

Why….to everything, but I find myself mainly embarrassingly wondering, why we didn't do anything? Does he just, not want me, and all of this is really him playing with Four or me or both of us?

"You think any harder and your head is going to explode. You're wincing. Did you know that? Every time a new thought enters into your mind, you wince. So why don't you just spit whatever it is out and stop killing yourself." Eric grumbles out after putting his fork down on to his empty plate.

He has his hands steepled over the plate and has his eyebrow raised while glaring me down.

I set my own fork down as well since my plate is just as empty as his. I raise my chin while my eyes narrow as I look at him.

I mean to demand where he got my stuff from and why my phone and keys are missing. I mean to demand them back and confirm that he didn't invade my privacy by rooting through my things at home. I mean to demand what right he thinks he has to have done any of that, to begin with, no matter that he's a leader of the faction.

That's what I mean to do but what happens instead leaves my skin hot and flushed with embarrassment.

"Why didn't we do anything last night? Do you even really want me, or is this just some bullshit game with Four? Because if it is, you can just stop. I would rather not be the pawn in whatever messed up game you've cooked up."

My jaw drops in astonishment and mortification at what spilled out of my mouth in a rush but I don't have time to really think on it and find a way to change direction because Eric is already in motion towards me. I didn't even get past the first question before he was standing and moving slowly around the counter towards me. His movements are fluid and casual but his expression is anything but.

His blue eyes seemed to have turned to the color of ice as they bore into mine and hold me completely paralyzed and barely able to turn my body to face him after he moved behind me.

"As I've told you before, twice now counting last night, it isn't my style to hook up with someone that is obviously drunk no matter who they are or how willing they might be."

I've heard the tone these words carry before. The hushed quiet one. The tone that you can equate to the sound of a blade being drawn from a sheathe.

All of Dauntless fears this tone and I would be lying if I said I'm not and have not been affected by it before. But how I was affected then is nothing like what's going on now.

Because there is a look in his eyes as he comes closer that shows me raw hunger. And the heat coming off his body sets me to fire, putting what I felt in the exam room to shame. I'm so paralyzed and captivated that I don't even realize he's moved me, turning my body for me to face him so that my back is now against the edge of the counter.

His eyes aren't the ice I compared them too. They're blue fire, an inferno is raging behind the gaze I can't break free from.

"Eric….I…" I gasp out when his breath hits my face and seems to trigger my own inhaling of the breath I hadn't been able to take.

His hand whips out to grab the back of my neck and he squeezes, firm and gentle until my head falls back slightly. He's so close that my legs just opened right up for him and he slipped in.

"No, you don't get to speak." He hisses out and stops me from continuing on. I don't even know if I would have been able to continue anyway. "Do you honestly believe that I would care enough to bring just anyone into my home? Do you think I would bother to take care of just anyone because they were wasted? I wouldn't, and you know that's true. I might make sure their friends were looking after them and they didn't kill themselves, but that's about the extent of the effort I would make."

While he speaking he uses the hand that isn't at the back of my neck, with the back of his fingers, to lightly brush over my neck. Slowly and teasing. My body arching into his touch and my nipples going hard as his skin made contact with mine.

He pauses in speaking and moves the hand up so that two of the pads of his fingers brush across my mouth, causing me to moan slightly. His eyes crinkle at the sides as a small smirk of pleasure tilts his lips and he changes the touch so that now it's his thumb brushing across my lips.

"Open up for me, little one." It's a raw, low command that has some dark part of my brain snapping forward at, following along. The nickname and command have me insanely aroused.

I open my mouth and he slips the thumb between my lips. What happens next happens on instinct, spurred on by the silent command in his eyes and I follow it again without hesitation while my eyes never leave his.

My mouth closes around his thumb, my tongue swirls around the tip and down the length and then I gently sucked. His nostrils flare and he gives a deep inhalation of breath as a rumble of pleasure sounds in his chest. He moves even closer until the thick and hard bulge of his thigh presses right up against the apex of legs. I was already burning and wet, wetter than I have ever been or ever thought I could be, but I was wrong. He presses firmly against me in a pulse and I feel like there is no way he won't notice the flood that must be pooling at my core, just as the immense heat seems to be as well. I suck deeper on his thumb and moan around it, plainly expressing just how good I'm feeling and what I want.

I'm not the only one showing that at least. If his eyes and groan didn't let me know then the outline of his bulge definitely does. His eyes are what hold my attention. They are wild looking with hardly any color left to be seen, just the black of his pupil. And when he speaks again, its pure gravel, full of ragged lust.

"You have no fucking clue how much I wanted you last night, little one." Between his breath fanning across my face and the low pulsing tenor of his words, I feel electrified. Like I could break apart at any second just from his words and presence alone. "You think this is a game," he pauses again and removes his thumb from my mouth but uses it to open it slightly while moving his face closer to mine. "That this has anything to do with number boy? You're wrong, Devi. This has always been about me and you. If you want to call it a game so be it. But be warned that I don't intend on losing."

Then he consumed me.

There's no other word for the kiss that followed that proclamation. The fire in me that won't back down from a challenge, ignited at those words. My hands reach up to his neck and claw at him. I can't tell you if it's to get him to stop or to make sure he never does.

A war is being waged between us with this kiss and the way his body is dominating mine. It's a war that I'm quickly losing and it makes me feel like much more than just a stupid contest of wills is in jeopardy here.

It feels like my heart and soul are in the line and it scares the ever loving shit out of me.

He breaks away from the kiss with a feral growl and shoves away from me. It so sudden and forceful that it leaves me quickly grabbing the sides of the stool to steady myself.

He backs up slowly, and I watch in fascination as the change takes place. First, he takes a step back and his breathing slows down. Two steps more and his eyes, that were so wild just seconds ago, start to focus back into his familiar cold blue ones. At three steps the emotionless mask that defines Eric is firmly back in place.

He doesn't say another word as he moves forward calmly and reaches for the two plates and cups on the counter. He busies himself cleaning up the remnants of breakfast and our dishes.

Meanwhile, I'm still hanging onto the stool for dear life and just trying to coax my heart from throat back into my chest and the air into my lungs.

After he has everything in his dishwasher and that started, he calmly tuns back to face me.

"Time to head out for training. We'll be doing a warm up, going out for a run and then heading to the training room to go from there. Lunch and dinner will be in the mess. Leave your bag here and we can get it after." His eyes light up and he smiles at me. A smile that's completely predatory in nature. "I have you for the next two days."

He walks past me and goes to the door while I'm left frozen. This isn't going to be good at all. I can just feel it.

I groan as I sink into the water of the bath and let out a ragged sigh of relief once I'm submerged fully under the hot water with the bath salts still dissolving in it. The last two days have been all kinds of torture for me. It was bad enough that I'm using my precious oils and salts to relieve the aching and stress my body has endured.

Eric took advantage of the last two days and rung every single second from it. From breakfast until a couple of hours after dinner, I've been with Eric.

I let the heat of the water work on my aching body and reflect over my time with Eric

The first day with Eric has gone exactly as he said and planned.

We warmed up with some stretches after getting outside of the gates that our transports use to leave the compound, and then went on a run that pretty much covered our entire sector. When we got back, he barely let me get water and a breather before we went to the training room or the torture chamber as I started to mentally call it, until lunch. After lunch in the mess hall, we went right back to it until dinner.

That's a total of over nine hours spent in a similar way as when we were at the gun range, where Eric apparently proved he has no concept of the words 'personal space' at all. He continued to show me just how little he thought of the concept.

First, had been when we were working out. I went into that at least a little confidence because that is one aspect I've been keeping up with.

At least twice a week I meet with my girls and we do about an hour of working out together. So I just knew this was at least something that he couldn't catch me out on. That he wouldn't be able to use it against me and need to get in my bubble to show me how wrong I was doing things.

That was promptly shot to hell.

My workouts, the workouts my friends and I blow through, are nothing to what Eric subjected me to after he had me tell him what my normal workouts consist of. I think he thought I was pranking him but when he saw my blush and figured out I was serious, well...the feared trainer he is to every initiate came out in full force.

There was one big change from how I know he is during initiation though. And that was when he would push me to do something that I would tell him was impossible or ridiculous, then he put himself through it right alongside me. I know for a fact that isn't his normal behavior and called him on it.

He told me that I was right, but he was showing me that he would never ask someone to do something that he didn't know they were capable of or that he wouldn't do himself. He said that it might take breaking them down to get them built back up, but it was all to make them stronger. It was clear he had every intention of doing that same thing with me.

He was going hard on me and that meant my temper flared on occasion because of that. But it was also because there was the added element of what happened every time our bodies came into contact. There was a charge of heat and electricity that was impossible to ignore and was so distracting that it would throw us both off. This seemed to upset him and he would just come at me harder.

He also still did the talking thing too. Which combined with the physical torture made it feel more like an interrogation. That was always going to have me reacting defensively. So, I started launching questions right back at him. To my surprise, he was answering.

Well, he mostly answered them. He wouldn't even acknowledge the ones that were a mirror of how personal he got with some of his for me.

By the time lunch rolled around I was at a breaking point and wondering if I really wanted to put myself through this again with Eric. My nerves were strung out from the aggressive pace Eric set to get everything that needed to be done in only two days. My sexual frustration levels were approaching nuclear meltdown mode, and my mind couldn't even handle the barrage of information being requested by Eric along with what he was giving me back.

Before we went to lunch I would have said that if I was given an out and another option of anyone else handling things, I would have leaped at the chance. That was until the opportunity arrived and it turned out, I didn't want to at all.

Eric and I went to the mess for lunch, just as he said we would. I expected to sit with my friends, but they were either already gone and back to work or not there at all. Eric was determined that I would be eating on the leaders level anyway and at least I knew Tori would be there.

I went into lunch a sore, grouchy, and bitchy mess. My hair all tangled and frayed on top of my head in a haphazard bun. My tank was still drenched in sweat and I'm sure I reeked from it too. I wouldn't say I looked worse than I ever did in initiation, but I had to be damn close. I know I was in just as foul of a mood as I had been back then.

Hunger won out over any issues I might have had about being dragged along with Eric, grumbling moodily the whole way, much to his amusement. We took seats beside each other and across from Tori.

She was looking at me and barely restraining her laughter, but I could clearly tell that she was doing this and it earned her a glare from me while I flipped her the bird.

That made her chuckle while she pushed food my way. Which I looked over and loaded up on once I saw that the selections for leaders seemed to be loads better then what the plebeians on the lower level are offered. There were few veggies available, but there was a bowl of roasted red potatoes that also had green beans tossed in a garlic butter sauce. I grabbed that and some grilled chicken while nabbing a few of the dinner rolls Tori pushed my way.

While I loaded my plate, Eric casually poured us both glasses of water from the big pitcher sitting on the table. When he slid mine towards me I accepted with a blush and noticed Four sitting on the other side of the table from me, glowering at Eric. I ignored him and concentrated on my plate. I knew I didn't have to worry about him starting anything with both Tris and Tori at the table.

Since Tris came along, Four had mellowed out a bit. He could still be a dick and a little overbearing when he had it in his head he needed to protect someone or he was worried about them. Personally, I always thought that he was in instructor mode all the time and didn't know how to turn it off. Talking to everyone like they were his initiates and needed to do his bidding. I knew from the first time I had Tris in a bed at the clinic that she wasn't going to be someone that would follow anyone blindly, and that underneath her quietness was a girl with a backbone. It was actually me bonding with her during her initiation that led to me and Four moving beyond old awkwardness from ours. But since they officially became more than just boyfriend/girlfriend, something they are keeping quiet for now, her closeness with me has prompted Four's protective instincts to make his alpha gene activate. I guess Tris looking at me all worried and asking if I was okay is what caused that to kick in and had him trying to interfere.

Oh, he didn't come right out and say, 'Devi you need to do your testing with someone else other than Eric'. In fact, he never even talked to me at all. He directed the conversation at Eric, reminding him of some important meetings and several proposals up for review, and was now really the time to take off for something he knew Zeke would be able to do with me? Wouldn't it be better for someone of my rank to be tested by Zeke anyway?

It was all masked as leader business but I saw it for what it really was. Four was interfering and trying to step in because he thought that dealing with Eric would be too much for me.

Before lunch, I was mentally complaining about everything and doubting that I could handle another second with Eric if it was anything like the morning had been.

Maybe it was to spite Four.

Maybe it was to prove something to myself, Eric, Four, and everyone else that had ever doubted me.

Or maybe it was all of that. All of that and Four's challenge of Eric and my, what I thought, right to be in Dauntless. It felt like initiation all over again.

Whatever it was had me slamming my fist hard down on the table. Dishes jumped and flatware clattered in all directions. The table conversation stopped along with the other tables on this same level that were around us. It's enough to know that attention is on me but I don't let that in. My only focus is Four as I let all of my ire and frustration come through in the way my eyes hold his when my action got his attention.

As mad as I am, I do remember that Four is trying to come from a good place. So I take a few calming breaths before I start talking finally.

"Correct me if I'm wrong, but doesn't it say in the by-laws, that it is up to the Senior Leader of the faction to determine what training and when it is needed for all standing members of the faction?" At times like this my accent is a little thicker, my voice just a bit huskier, and I speak slowly to make sure that I'm understood completely.

I've been told it makes me sound menacing but I don't see how. If it does though, then I welcome it right now.

Four's lips thin and his skin flushes because he knows I'm right. He might have been counting on the fact that most of Dauntless unless they are really involved of the running of the faction, aren't aware of details like that. I'm only aware of it because Eric informed me of this on our run. It took me worriedly questioning him if he would be in some kind of trouble for stepping away from all of that work I saw piled on his desk to do my training and testing. That was when he let that and another big fact drop.

Four doesn't answer me vocally, instead, Tori answers as she sees that Four isn't about to. I also see her glance Eric's way and I realize, with some surprise, that he's amazingly silent and has been this entire time. Like her, I guess I would have expected him to have some kind of snarky remark aimed at Four. I let myself glance over at him and while I do see his posture is even more rigid than usual, he isn't even looking at Four at all. He's looking at me, his face free of expression other than maybe curiosity.

Maybe he's just going to wait to see how this plays out. Let me fight my own battle here. Is it wishful thinking on my part to think that maybe he isn't stepping in because he knows I'm completely capable of handling this on my own?

"That's correct," Tori confirms and I look back to her, give a small nod of acknowledgment, then look back at Four as I can continue.

"Isn't it also correct, that because of my own position being considered in the ranked officer tier, only an officer of greater standing who also has the training sanction, can oversee my training and score me?"

Again Tori nods and I see Four's shoulders slump a little but I still carry on. This time I don't bother to phrase it as a question, just me stating a fact that he knows I definitely know now.

"It's also true that I brought this on myself by not doing the yearly required training and assessments that all members, but especially ranked ones, are supposed to go through. Two years automatically makes it so that the Senior Leader is the only one that has any say about what I can do to correct something that could see me thrown out. So I have to ask Four, is that what you want? Would you like to see me thrown out?"

"You know I don't, Devi." He replies softly. I can hear the apology in his tone.

"Then you need to let me do this and not try to interfere again." I let my tone soften as well.

I knew where this was coming from on Four's part. I'm not completely overwhelmed with anger at him that I don't recognize a friend's worry. However wrong it may be of me, worry equals fear in my eyes. Fear that I'm weak. Fear that I don't belong.

And that causes me to feel fear that he might be right. That just like the life I left behind in Amity was a lie, my life here is a lie too. Instead of making me feel like running or denying the fear, I'm choosing to face it, to fight it, and to prove that fear wrong.

Four holds my eyes for a bit longer than I'm comfortable with, while he seems to be searching my expression for something but he finally gives me a nod and a small sideways smile. Beside him, Tris grins at him and they share a look that almost seems to me as if she's sending him a silent 'I told you so' message.

The table around us seems to let out a collective release of breaths as I glance over at Eric who just casually raises his glass of water and takes a drink, but not before I see a slight tilt of his lips in a smirk.

The rest of lunch is spent listening to the others talking shop about this or that. A tiny amount of annoyance at being ignored starts to take root in me even after I mentally remind myself that it's not like I ever really like to talk at the meals I'm able to hastily grab on occasion.

Which is why Tori probably just let me eat in peace. It takes Eric asking me a few things about the clinic to bring me out of the sulking I was doing about something I would usually be grateful for. It isn't until the end of the lunch when I realize that the questions he had and the conversation that took place was actually really pleasant.

More than that, I could tell that Eric hadn't just tossed aside that file he took from my office, but he actually paid attention.

This realization also brings forth the whispering in my mind that my calling Four out on his attempt to interfere wasn't all about proving him wrong it was also because deep down I didn't want it to end.

After lunch, it was right back to the training room and workouts until dinner time. There were no big surprises or confrontations. Just more of Eric's questions while touching and teasing me.

It wasn't until after a few more hours of training after dinner that Eric finally gave me my keys and phone back.

Explaining, reluctantly, as we stood in his apartment where I had to go to get my bag, that he had in fact used the keys to get my stuff from my apartment after trying to call Sadie first. But when he got to there, she was just getting back and grabbed it for him instead.

Eric even more reluctantly let me leave after I had my bag. I was so tired and felt like such a mess that I didn't bother to get mad about this, instead, I had all but begged him to let me go so I could just go home and get a shower and go straight to bed. He only let me go after giving me a warning threat that I better be in the training room by 0700. If he had to come to find me it wasn't going to be a pleasant day.

I didn't bother with a bath that tempted me for a second. Instead, I just did a quick shower, took the aspirin Sadie shoved at me and then crawled into bed. I passed out grateful that my mind and body were agreeing with my need for blessed sleep.

It didn't stop the dreams though. A crazy and tangled combination of dreams that I woke up unable to remember many details on other than Eric was in them and that they left me feeling just as confused as I had spent most of the previous day feeling.

The next day, today, was even more intense. Trying to cram what normally is spread out over a week into two days means that Eric set a brutal pace and had even harder expectations of me.

We finished the weapons portion of the testing first thing in the morning and then went into a short warm up before the run. This time the run was through an obstacle course that saw me climbing, jumping, rappelling, crawling, and balancing across a variety of different obstacles. That closed out the first part of my morning and lunch was again in the mess hall at the leader's table.

This time there was no confrontation with Four because he wasn't even at the table. Neither was Tori for that matter. But Tris, Uriah, Marlene, and Zeke all were and I got a brief on what the last portion of the day would contain after Tris and Mar cast sympathetic looks at me.

Eric had saved the best for last.

While I wasn't being asked to have a ranked fighting match, I still had to prove I know what I'm doing against an opponent. I don't know if it was really because no one else was available or just because Eric wasn't willing to let anyone in on this at all, but it was made clear I would be going against him.

I had been seriously concerned about the thought of having to fight Eric. It wasn't until we got to the training room that he informed me how it was going to work. I had to score a certain about of points and strikes against him. And if I could last a set amount of time, then that would add to the points as well. Before we moved into that portion he was considerate enough to work on my forms with me first.

I won't lie, the ending of today was heading towards a complete disaster.

I did everything Eric demanded of me to prepare for the final physical assessment, and even did it without much complaining on my end, even though I felt completely wrecked by the end of it.

I passed with a total of 79 from the maximum 100 points I could have gained. According to Eric, being five points over the minimum passing score was nothing to be happy about.

I disagreed and then we argued, with him using that to point out everything I could have done better and then having me do them again. Just to show me that I could and there was no reason for me not to have done them the first time.

Dinner time was passing me by very quickly, making my already bad attitude get rapidly worse. It didn't help that I could tell Eric had no real reason for us to still be doing anything, but I couldn't figure out why he was insisting on it. It got so bad that I just lost it and straight out started cursing him out.

I reached my limit of putting up with him and his demands as well as his attitude that was just getting worse, and I had no clue what I was doing wrong to cause him to act like he was.

"Carajo! I don't know what is making you even more of an estúpido than normal, but I am not going to just sit here and put up with this mierda." I snap at him and slap my hands against his chest after the final time he snapped at me for, in my opinion, no reason.

In the last hour, Eric's cold and emotionless expression morphed into nothing but sneers and scowls. Now he scoffed angrily at me. "You'll take whatever mierda I throw at you because if you don't, as you so generously informed Four, I can send you packing."

I stamped my foot in anger and frustration. My temper was getting worse as dinner time got further away. "Vete al demonio!" I yelled and whirled away from him, determined to end this and get myself some dinner.

Eric wasn't having it as he grabbed my arm and spun me around. I lost balance but he was also pulling me forward at the time so that I slammed against his chest. "Where do the fuck do you think you're going? You don't get to leave until I say you can. Until I've signed off on that fucking paperwork, you're mine."

"I'm hungry, Eric!" I try for anything but the whine I know is coming, but don't succeed.

"Fine. Then we go to my apartment and we can have dinner there." He snaps at me, his face all contorted with anger.

"Fine!" Not that he was asking at all, but I yell out my agreement anyway.

His mouth snaps shut and he looks down at me, the anger melting slightly from his face.

"Good." He agrees with a nod and then pulls me with him out of the gym and to his apartment.

He wasn't holding my hand or anything. I doubt Eric even knows how to do something like that. His huge hand stayed wrapped around my wrist the entire time, even when he stopped pulling me. As if he was afraid I was going to just slip off as soon as he was distracted. For some reason, I like it.

After getting to his apartment his demeanor didn't improve much. At least not at first. Especially when he was rummaging through his refrigerator and cabinets with a look of intensity and then something that had looked like a flash of defeat when he saw all he really had was stuff for breakfast. The frown got deeper when he explained to me that's the only meal he ever has time to actually have there, so he doesn't bother with getting anything else.

When told him that breakfast for dinner was actually something I did for myself a lot, his mood got better and he set about making me another omelet. The dinner that followed was so similar to that breakfast I had with him in his apartment that I couldn't help remembering that morning.

I couldn't help but to remember our kiss and wondering why he hadn't tried to kiss me again in our time spent together. Yeah, sure he's touched me over the last few days, but not really like he did that morning. Then I spent the rest of the dinner wondering if I should be feeling as disappointed and hurt by that as I am.

We talked though, so I didn't have much time to really dwell on any of that. We talked about work and what I could expect when I went back. That there is now going to be more staff from Erudite available during the week beyond the normal hours they had been staffed for, possibly even overnight, and that would also carry over on the weekends.

He hinted at meetings with Erudite to talk about more, which led to him telling me about the fact that there are several big meetings with all the factions over the next month or so. Things that will hopefully lead to improved conditions for Dauntless overall. He complained about how long the process has been taking since the downfall of the corrupt leaders here and in Erudite too.

Dinner was...pleasant, honestly.

Even if it started out a complete wreck. At the end, Eric started to turn back into being surly, like he didn't want me to leave and was upset that he couldn't command me to stay. Instead, he insisted on walking me back to my apartment.

At the door, I turned to tell him goodbye but never got to say a word. Once again I was pressed up against something while he was kissing me stupid.

It rattled me so badly I almost shoved the door open and just pulled him inside and straight to my bedroom. I think I would have if the door hadn't opened and Sadie had squeaked out an apology saying she thought she had heard me having trouble opening the door.

Eric had already pulled away from the kiss to look at her and glared her back before looking at me again. His hand was still at the back of my neck and his eyes were dark. "I'm going to busy with meetings and other bullshit I couldn't get out of for the next two days."

I swallowed and nodded numbly. He had already informed me of this earlier during dinner when we were talking about, not only what I would be going back to at work, but what he was expecting for him too.

"You told me, Eric." I breathe out as he brings me closer to his body.

"I'm telling you again." He growled out then closed his eyes. "I will make sure to have time with you again but I don't know when that might be exactly." He frowned for a second before pulling back and looking at me. "What I said about being prepared for me anytime still stands."

He left with a smirk as I tossed a curse word at his back. His chuckle had made me smile before I went into the apartment and slammed the door behind me. Sadie and been wide eyed and waiting for me.

"Sorry, I really did think you were having trouble getting in and thought it be because you were so worn out." Sadie babbled out her apology that I wave off tiredly.

"Está bien," I mumble out then sigh and repeat it in English for her benefit. She's used to this by now and has picked up some Spanish from me, just not enough to actually be able to hold a conversation in it.

I move further into the living room, distractedly following a routine that feels off. I go to the kitchen and pull down a glass and fill it with cold water from the pitcher we keep of it in our fridge.

As I'm drinking it, Sadie watches me carefully. "I didn't see you at dinner. Are you hungry, did you eat, or did he keep you...occupied...in the training room?"

Her question is cautious and probing. Probably wanting to find out more about what she saw at the door. I just don't have the presence of mind to be able to handle that right now. "I already ate. We did run over dinner a little but got food somewhere else."

I finish drinking my water, clean the glass and put it on our drainer on the counter. Our apartment doesn't have a dishwasher, so we have to clean the few dishes we have in the small kitchenette by hand.

"Devi, what's going on with you and Eric?" Sadie asks me softly before I go into my room.

"Nothing. He was just doing the assessment for me but that's done now."

We both knew it was a lie, but it was one I was planting firmly in my mind. I still had major doubts that this was anything for him other than an amusement. Maybe a challenge. Just because I am different from the other girls in some respects doesn't mean that in end, after he gets what he wants, I won't become just like the others then.

Back in my bath, I sink under the bath water so that the tears I refuse to acknowledge combine with the liquid in the tub. I come up when the need for air is greater than my need for denial.

Disgusted with myself I climb out of the bath, into some pajamas and sink into the bed. I am grateful when my body and mind do agree for once and sink into blissful sleep.

It feels odd not waking up knowing that I'm going to be seeing Eric as soon as I step out of my door. I know we were only following that schedule for two days but it felt like much longer.

Despite a solid eight hours of sleep, I'm still sluggish as I get up. I contemplate going to grab a coffee from the bakery but I don't think I can even manage that at the moment.

We have coffee here but it's the instant kind. Our tiny kitchen can't handle too many appliances and Sadie and I decided not to bother getting much anyway since we aren't here so much with both of our jobs.

I fill up the kettle and put it on one of the portable induction cooktops we have, take out the jar of instant coffee and blearily measure it out into my mug then wait for the water to boil. While I'm waiting, I hear my phone buzzing from my room.

I shuffle in to get it and shuffle back into the kitchen, temporarily forgetting why I have my phone in my hand in the first place until it buzzes again, reminding me about my unread message. I blearily look at the screen and catch the name of the sender first.

I bite my lip and stare at it with a scowl, cursing myself for the flipping in my stomach while I debate actually reading the message and wondering how Eric even has my phone information.

He did have the thing for an entire day, Núñez.

The scathing mental reminder does little to improve my mood when I realize that there is no way I'm not going to check the message. So with a sigh and my stomach fluttering, I click the message and read it.

Since you now have lunch free, Leader's level...or I come to find you.

I scoff and toss my phone down as I turn to pour the now boiling water into my mug and stir the mixture before I can add sugar and cream to it. I grumble the entire time, alternating between feeling elated that he wants to have lunch together to pissed he's making it an order for me to be there.

I decide that he's had things his way for two days but it's time to get back to reality and I can't just put my life and plans on hold because of his whims. I need to get back to work and my mostly well-ordered life. I take leisurely sips of my coffee and completely ignore the warring going on in my mind and the itch I have to reply to him.

My phone buzzes with another message and this time I see his name flash on the screen as it comes in. I snatch up the phone and click on the message before I have time to change my mind.

If I have to come find you it won't just be you I'll make life difficult for, little one. Your choice.

I let out a yelled growl and stream of curses as I throw my mug at the wall. It shatters and the liquid in it goes in all directions, some even landing on me and burning where it hits but I'm so angry I don't even care.

Sadie rushes in, eyes still closed from sleep, but backs up as I spin around and brush past her while still yelling in Spanish.

I was going to reply and tell him to fuck off, but this kind of message is best delivered in person.

I yank on my boots, grab my keys and slam out of the door. The entire time I'm stomping my way to the leader offices I'm still verbally fuming out loud.

I have no clue what people think when they see me. I must look like a crazy mess because if someone gets close they jump back like they're afraid of me or something.

My hair is up in a crazy and messy bun. I have no bra on, and just a black thin strapped tank top along with my black sleep shorts. I'm muttering in my customary combination of the two languages and I'm shouting 'fuck you Eric Coulter' occasionally.

I actually hear one guy tell me to hurry up and get past him with that shit.

I finally make it to the leader's floor. A door opens towards the end of the hallway and out steps Eric. Arms crossed over his chest and a smug smirk on his face. I can see the damn thing from all the way where I'm at. As I get closer my anger elevates even more.

I don't know why the smirk on his face starts to fade, but it does. By the time I'm standing in front of him he looks angry as hell. He jerks me into the office and slams the door behind us.

We both start to speak, our voices are raised and trying to talk over each other. I don't know what he's saying exactly while I'm yelling at him, asking him just who the hell he thinks he is. He doesn't answer, just continues to gesture wildly at me while scowling. Then I realize what he's pissed about and the only response I can think of is to grab him by the front of his open vest and jerk him towards me. My back hits the door when his body crashes against mine and I don't waste time in raising up on my toes and claiming his mouth hungrily.

His complaint about me being dressed like I am where anyone can see me is cut off by the kiss, which he starts to return just as fiercely as I started it. It feels like he's using whatever feelings he was having and now communicating them with his mouth. Which is fine with me because that's what I intended to begin with.

I shouldn't be pleased that he was getting worked up about something I was wearing but there is a small part of me that is. Not because I'm okay with him trying to tell me what to do or what's okay for me to wear at all, but because I could see something in his eyes and the way he was looking at me. It scared me enough that I needed to stop him from saying anything more while at the same time taking something I've wanted again so badly.

He groans as I bite on his bottom lip, then takes command of the kiss.

He also scoops me up so that I can wrap my legs around his waist while he backs up, away from the door, and starts to walk. He's carrying me and squeezing my ass while we go, kissing the entire time until we end up at a sitting area that's in his office.

I expect him to toss me down on the small sofa and then pounce on me. He seems like that type. Instead, he plops down onto the sofa with me in his lap and straddling him. Our tongues tangle as we kiss deeply.

One of his hands keeps squeezing and kneading my ass and hips while he pulls me tighter against him. The other hand makes its way up to my hair, where he tugs firmly to free it from the bun I had it in. I moan loudly into his mouth when he then twists it in his hand and pulls my head back, exposing my throat to him.

He greedily moves his mouth down it and begins to lick and suck in all the right places while my hands tangle in his hair. I rock against him needing more, especially of what I feel he has straining to get out to meet me right where I need him most. I feel like I'm about to combust with the heat and how much I need him right now.

Our breathing is ragged and becoming even more so with each second. I can feel the heat of his breath against my skin as he whips the hand he had on my hip up to shove the top of my tank down. Then he scoops my breast up while moving his mouth down at the same time.

He's released the hold he has on my hair just enough that I can move it to look down and watch him. I see that he's looking up at me like he wants to watch me watch him. I bite my bottom lip in anticipation and whimper in impatience as the second seems to last forever before his tongue snakes out and flicks against my stiff nipple.

My eyes flutter closed and my head falls back with my low husky moan of pleasure. I know that was just the beginning. First, he uses his teeth. Grazing and nipping at the taut flesh. Testing how far and hard he can go. My hips rock faster and my moan gets deeper with pleasure when it gets it just right. I feel his smirk against my skin just before he wraps his lips around it completely and sucks, licks, nips, and repeats all over again.

I try to gain more friction as my hips move faster and can only groan in frustration when it's impossible to achieve what I want with both of us still in our clothes. Eric growls into my flesh, letting his own frustration be known. Then he releases my nipple with a plop only to immediately claim my mouth again.

He stands abruptly with me still in his arms towards where his desk is in the room. I gasp into his mouth when I feel and hear the sound of him shoving things off his desk and them hitting the ground. I try to break free from the kiss to take a look at the havoc but I'm barely free before he reclaims my mouth and lowers me to the desk.

I moan with anticipation as he positions me at the edge of it and I move a hand towards his pants only to have it stopped. We both pull back from the kiss, me scowling at him and him frowning with a hungry look in his eyes.

"Not that, not yet. I don't have the time to do that properly." He says with real regret and frustration. "But I can at least get you off before I have to go."

His hand is already moving against me through my sleep shorts as he purrs that last bit out. I bite my lip and shift against his hand. I refuse to beg. But it's oh so tempting to. It's right there on the tip of my tongue as he presses his palm into my mound and rubs in a slow circle.

The pendejo knows exactly what he's doing to me with that knowing smirk lingering at the edges of his mouth. His blue eyes glinting with a dangerous light. He also looks serious and focused, as if this is taking every bit of his willpower to not give me what I really want.

What we both really want.

Eric moves his hand to slide against my thigh and through the wide leg of my shorts then repeats rubbing me with the flat of his palm but this time with only my underwear on.

I whimper for more and Eric finally takes pity on me. He presses his forehead to mine and is breathing heavy as he moves the cotton material to the side and his fingers finally make contact with the slippery mess I've become.

"You need this badly, don't you?" He says on his exhale of breath after he groaned and slid one finger into me.

I can't answer, I'm to busy moving my hips to get more and moaning into his neck where I moved so I could lick and suck on the vein that's pulsing there. That stopped and I had no choice but to answer when he withdrew his finger at the same time as grabbing my hair and tugging my head back.

"Tell me you need me." He demanded in a voice that is raw with hunger and lust.

My face scrunches up with the effort to resist giving in while the throbbing ache inside of me just increases when he flicks his thumb lightly over the swollen nub of my clit. He wasn't giving in and the throbbing just got worse.

"Sí, maldición. Te necesito ... Quiero decir ... Necesito esto." I cried out in desperation.

That desperate cry out was turned into a gasp of pleasure once again as he slid not just one finger, but two firmly into me. He pulled my hair again to bring my mouth back to his and swallowed the rest of my cries.

Between the sound of his fingers pumping into my wetness, there was also the sound of his pleased rumblings and my muffled moans. Even as I was building to the release I desperately needed I was also feeling disappointment and longing for more.

Eric tore away from the kiss and held my eyes. "Let go for me, Devi. Come for me now, little one." His tone was soft but it was all command in delivery. With the power of his own fierce need for me.

I saw this behind the intensity of his eyes that were glittering with it. I felt it in the way he held me in his arms and felt the way he worked to control his body, the clinch, and release of the muscles where they came into contact with me. His labored breathing that had the faint growl under it coming from a face tightened by need.

It wasn't my words being returned but it was just as potent and it pushed me over that edge I had been hanging on to. My body shook as my voice rang out my pleasure.

"Fuck….yes." Eric ground out loudly, almost as if he had just come undone himself. He kept pumping in me until I clenched my thighs a little and whimpered with the sensitivity that I started to feel.

He slowed and then pulled his fingers out, kissing me the entire time. I could feel his smile against my lips. I can feel the thud of his heart where I have my hand against his chest and it tells me that he was just as affected by all that as I was.

We start to kiss in a slower, more sensual manner when the door swings open with a thud. I jerk back in surprise and wrench my head around to see who it might be. Marlene stands there with wide eyes, looking between the two of us in surprise before her expression turns frightened and she stammers over her explanation. I can only imagine the glare being sent her way by Eric right now.

"Sorry...you just...not answering….they're on their way in...sorry…" She got out in a jumble before she slams the door shut behind her.

"Shit," Eric mumbles with a sigh.

I turn back to look at him after staring dumbly at the closed door, wondering how long it's going to take for this tale to circulate Dauntless. I catch Eric just as he lifted his hand to his mouth and sucks his fingers clean and grins widely at my wide eyes and whimper.

"It'll have to do until I can get a taste straight from the source." He leaned in and whispered just above my lips before kissing me again.

I flush, moan and clench my thighs together all at the same time as I wrap my arms around his neck and lose myself in his kiss again. We only break away when his phone buzzes loudly from its place on his desk.

Eric grunts in disapproval but lets me pull back.

"I still expect you at lunch." He remarks casually but with narrowed eyes.

I huff and squinted mine right back at him. "Threatening people is not the way to do things."

He gives a wicked chuckle and shakes his head. "Yeah? Seems to have worked just fucking fine for me before."

I scowl and push him back as I try to get down from his desk but he grips my hips with a mocking lifted eyebrow.

"No conmigo, no lo harás. Te lo dije antes, no soy una de esas chicas estúpidas …"

He reaches up and grabs my face, all humor has gone as he interrupts me. "And I've told you that you are different too. Those girls were never ones I was dating or even considered dating. You alone can say this, Devi."

My mind is a blank in shock, unable to process this. Somewhere in my mind, I hear yelling for me to say something instead of looking like an idiota. My mind finally kickstarts and I frown at him.

"When did this happen?" I ask him with a scowl.

"What did you think has been happening the last few days?"

"You being an insufferable, demanding ass is what I thought. Never once did you ask me on a date, Eric."

"Me making us breakfast, me taking on your training myself and taking time off to do it so I could show you how important you are to me. Lunches and dinner together. Those were dates, Devi."

Of course, Eric would be the type to see those as dates.

I roll my eyes and shove harder this time. "By your definition, they might be. You didn't even ask me, Eric. You commanded me to be there. I had no choice in the matter. Maybe all those other girls would just be happy to have a minute of your time but I like to have a say in the matter."

"You had a choice. Four gave you one, and if you had looked like you wanted to take it, I would have known. But you didn't, Devi. Tell me why you didn't take the out he gave you if you didn't want that time with me just as much as I wanted it with you?"

I start to walk around his desk and avoiding answering the question while searching for the keys I know I left my apartment with. I train my eyes on the floor while he follows closely behind me.

When he gets the idea that I'm ignoring him and his question he grabs my arm to stop me.

"Tell me you don't want to see me. That you don't want this." He barks out when he spins me to face him.

"I do dammit! Alright! But you can't just force me, or think it's ok to not ask the question, Eric. It's not okay to just think that what you consider a date is what I consider a date. Did you even think that I might not want to spend an entire day being physically punished and interrogated as well? That if I'm going to go out on a limb here with you and do this dating thing that I've sworn never to do again, that I might want some kind of say in it?"

Eric looks thunderstruck for a moment before he pulls me closer and frowns. "I spent time with you in the only way I could justify taking off from the crapton of work I'm under, Devi. I wanted and needed to get to know you better, and that's my way of doing it. I'm never going to be some soft guy that's going to sing to you or make love to you under the stars. But I'm also not going to be that guy that will start something with you only as a way to pass time until something better comes along. You aren't the only one that has the market cornered on fucked up past relationships."

"How would I know that about you, Eric? You know about me because you forced the answers from me but when did I get a chance to find out anything about you like that? You made me answer those questions but refused to do the same for me. This has all been on your terms." I spot my keys by the sofa and pull from his grasp to scoop them up. "You wanted to get to know me? Well now you have, and you should have no problem understanding how I feel about having no say in my life."

He's still standing there, scowling at me when I open and slip out of the door.

My progress back to my apartment isn't much better than the way I made it from there this morning. The entire time I'm walking I try to keep myself from hyperventilating or screaming or punching something….maybe all three things at once.

The entire time I'm getting ready for work one phrase keeps running through my mind. The lines of a song Sadie had played on repeat for the first month after a breakup from her last boyfriend.

'I'm sitting eyes wide open and I got one thing stuck in my mind. Wondering if I dodged a bullet or just lost the love of my life. What is happening to me….'

Fuck...what is happening to me?