Set Fire to the Rain

Chapter 4

With a deep sigh, I continued into my office and closed the door behind me. He looked wonderful sat there, although if I was not mistaken, there were dark patches around his beautiful eyes.

I pondered on whether to remove the jacket of my suit, knowing that that sheer cream blouse below was a little daring even for me. I decided I had better leave it on for now. With my jacket on and buttoned up, you could not tell what a sexy little number the blouse was.

"Good morning, Edward, what brings you down to current affairs so early this morning?"

"You know perfectly well why I'm here, Bella, so let's not pretend, shall we? So, I wanted to apologize about yesterday, for what I said and how I said it at least. Look, Bella, you're a great reporter and an even better editor from what Emmett tells me," he added quickly, "But going to Afghanistan is a whole different ballgame. Before I do anything rash, I'm asking you to reconsider putting yourself up for this assignment. Please, Bella, give it some more thought."

He sounded so reasonable this morning after his rant yesterday. However, now I was having trouble looking at him without seeing him in bed making love to me. That bloody memory kept coming back to torment me. I groaned internally and I would swear I could feel him moving in and out of me. Good god, girl, get a grip, just yesterday he was hurling abuse at you.

"Edward, I've thought long and hard about this and believe me, I've had my doubts, but it's something I really want to do if I'm allowed. It'll be an amazing opportunity for me and I hope if the story is successful that it'll do wonders for my career. Now, it's my turn to ask you to please understand that I need to do this." I looked intently at him, hoping that my eyes would show him how much I wanted to do this and that I would like his support.

He was quiet for a moment, his fingers playing with a pencil that he had taken from my jar. When he eventually looked up at me, I felt myself falling once again into those deep green eyes. His stare was intense and I could feel myself being drawn in. Right now, all I wanted was to be on the other side of my desk in his lap, kissing the living daylights out of this incredibly sexy man.

My mind was flooded with the memories of my dream from last night and my breathing became labored. Two days. Two days of seeing him close up was all it had taken to tear apart all of my hard work through the last four years of keeping a lid on my Edward-induced feelings. Right now if he wanted to, he could fuck me here on my desk, up against the wall, the chair, or anywhere else. I was back to square one, still deeply in love with him.

His voice brought me back to reality.

"So, you won't reconsider then? You won't listen to me?"

"I have listened to you, Edward, and believe, me I haven't volunteered for this without giving it a whole load of consideration. I've talked to Charlie at length; he's worried, too, but he accepts I'm a big girl now and I can make my own decisions. Yes, it's dangerous, and yes, I'm scared as fuck, but I still want this opportunity, Edward."

He looked up and I thought he might have been considering moving towards me when I swore, but he didn't, his cool demeanor held him back.

"Well, I'm sorry, Bella, but I'll fight you on this every step of the way. I cannot allow you go over there. For fucks' sake, you're like family, what will Alice say if I let you go? Emmett may think he's the one making this decision, but believe me, he won't be the only one. I'm sorry that we can't agree on this, I really am. I thought you would've had more consideration for my feelings about this, but I can see now I was wrong."

He got up, shoving my chair back and walked around my desk towards the door. I moved to where he was sat and started to rearrange my desk to how I liked it. It saved me having to watch him walk away from me again.

He paused before opening my office door and turned, his face a mask of anger and something else; pain, hurt, agony. But why?

"Please, Bella, for me, if what we had meant anything to you, I beg that you reconsider."

I slumped down in the chair, looking at him with my mouth open. Why, after four years, did he have to throw something like this at me? Jesus, like what we had wasn't everything to me. He was the one who was emotionally unattached, not me. How dare he say that to me now after all this time!

"Get out, Edward, just get out!" I shouted at him near to tears.

Shaking his head and looking as upset as I felt, he left without another word. The door closed quietly behind him and that was when my tears started to fall. How long I sat there crying silently I did not know. The telephone ringing startled me, but I answered it anyway.

"Bella Swan, current affairs."

"Swan, it's me. Can we meet for lunch today or are you too busy?"

Alice Cullen rarely called me Bella. When she was mad at me, I was Isabella, else most of the time I was just plain old Swan.

"Today might be a problem, pixie, what's up?"

"Why does anything have to be wrong? Just because I want to have lunch with my best friend doesn't mean all is not well you know. So, when can you fit me into your busy schedule?"

Flicking through my diary, I had a window of about an hour and a half today before I met with James and Emmett.

"The only free time I have today is at half eleven, but I'd have to be back before one. I have an important meeting that I need to be on time for."

I could hear her rustling pages so I assumed she was checking her schedule. "That's fine, meet you in the lobby. Don't be late, I'll make reservations."

I could not help but smile, she was like a whirlwind. Always had been, so I guessed nothing would change her. I wondered if she had spoken to Edward or Emmett about yesterday.

The morning went by in a flash. People came and went from my office, all entered with a worried expression on their faces, but once they saw I was okay, they left relieved. It would appear Edward was known as a bit of an ogre. Sure, all the women fancied him, but it sounded and looked like they were all scared shitless of him, too.

I wondered how they would feel if they knew I could tell them exactly how to bring him to his knees, literally. I used to know what he liked, but now I was not so sure. His latest flame, Tanya Denali, was the total opposite of everything I thought I knew about what Edward liked in a woman. Yes, she was beautiful, tall, blonde (natural), with legs up to her armpits. A proper show piece on any man's arm, but she was also cold and duplicitous, a right Jekyll and Hyde. She was a criminal barrister, known to be hard as nails, calculating, and ruthless. The Edward I knew liked his woman warm, gentle, and pliable. He liked to talk about things like music and films. He loved literature and going for long walks on the beach in his bare feet. I could not see Miss Denali going anywhere barefooted. I had seen her at the last Cullen gathering, her smile appeared to be fixed and she held herself stiffly and sneered on more than one occasion when Esme tried to draw her into a conversation.

I could remember Esme's words the next morning over breakfast. "God, I hope Edward's not serious about that one, what a cold fish. I don't want her as a daughter in law and the future mother of my grandchildren," she had said shuddering.

Alice had added something about it being unlikely that someone like Tanya would even have children. Hmm, but I knew Edward had wanted the whole marriage and kids thing one day. He had mentioned it on more than one occasion during our time together. I even remembered the day he had asked me if I wanted that, too. We were walking along First Beach at La Push. We had spent the weekend in a rather seedy hotel in Port Angeles and Edward couldn't apologize enough for the tackiness of our surroundings. There was some fishing convention going on in town and everywhere was booked solid. We hadn't realized this and when we rolled up, it was the only place left that had a spare double room. When we saw inside, we went straight out and bought a new mattress protector and new bedding. It really was gross.

In order to make up for our tacky weekend, we had stopped off on the way home and walked and talked. He didn't even realize that it was just our being together that I loved, where we were at was of no consequence.

Well, Tanya seemed to have something Edward liked. She was a firm fixture on his arm these days and that in itself was a surprise. Edward did not do relationships, he did one night only. Tanya must have been different.

Just before half past eleven, I made my way to the lift. I had taken the time to touch up my face and hair in the bathroom on the way out. I was just about to pull my suit jacket back on when a cough behind me made me look up.

"You do realize that blouse is totally see-through. It's quite inappropriate for work, Bella. I thought you of all people would know better."

"I was just putting my jacket back on, so it won't be inappropriate for a moment longer," I said as I slipped it on with a huff.

Edward's sneer got my back up. I would be damned if I was going to explain to him that the only reason the damn blouse was on show was because I had been to the washroom to freshen up and had taken it off in there.

Buttoning up my jacket, I walked off, leaving him stood in my wake.

Alice was waiting when I exited the lift.

"Come on, Swan, I'm starving," she said pulling me along.

I laughed. You could not do anything else with Alice. At the restaurant, we were seated at a quiet table which gave us ample opportunity to talk. We ordered a drink and our meals.

"So, what the hell's been going on up on your floor? The gossip was rife yesterday, something about you and my brother coming to blows."

"Hardly. Edward and I have had a difference of opinion. He apologized for his behavior this morning."

"You were with Edward this morning? About time."

"What? No, he was in my office when I got in, we talked and then he left. Enough said."

"Isabella, I've known you how long? Fourteen years and more actually. And for about the last twelve of those, you've had the hots for my brother, and I don't mean Emmett. Do you really think we're all blind? God, the way you used to look at him; fuck, girl, you could have set the room on fire with those smoldering looks. Unfortunately for you, my brother's pretty dense and didn't seem to notice at first. That changed when you were about sixteen, though. I thought I was going to have to spray him down with a hose every time you came over to visit."

"Alice, please, you're exaggerating as per usual. Edward has always ignored me and you know it."

"Really? So it wasn't you he used to sneak off with every weekend? It wasn't you I saw walking hand in hand with him barefoot on First Beach? Bella, the whole family knew what you two were up to; we were all just waiting for you to announce that you were together. But then boom, nothing. So, will you tell me what happened?"

I could feel the blush rise up in my face as she told me that she knew my secret. So much for our discretion.

"Alice, not now, okay? Soon maybe, but not right now. After yesterday, it's all a bit too raw, I hope you understand."

"Okay, but can I ask you one question?"

"If you must."

"Do you love him? Because I'm thinking if you still do after all this time, maybe it's real love and not just a teenage crush."

"Yes, Alice, I still love him, I always have and that's what hurts the most, because he never felt like that about me. Can we please change the subject now?"

"Sure. So what's all this I hear about you wanting to go to Afghanistan to write a story with Angela Webber? When my dad mentioned it over dinner last night, my mum went mad. She doesn't want you to go and Edward agrees with her. He and that Denali woman were there, too. God, she's such a bitch. They have nothing in common you know. Mum and Dad don't like her at all. She talks down to everyone, including Edward, and like an idiot he just sits there and lets her berate him. Jazz had to stop me from giving her a verbal lashing I can tell you."

"I want to go, Ally; I need to get away for a while. It's all starting to close in around me and I'll lose it if I don't go to some Edward-free zone soon. He was pretty cruel yesterday, cursing and swearing and shouting at me and Emmett."

"I wonder why he would react like that. It's not really like him. Hmm, I might see if he's willing to talk to me about it."

"Just leave it, please? You'll only make him worse. Just let's see if I'm even allowed to go before we start making further waves."

The rest of our lunch was spent talking office gossip and family news. Our time was over far too quickly and as we rose to head back to the office, we came face to face with my tormentor and his latest flame.

"Alice, Bella, good lunch I hope. Tanya and I are just heading in, can you recommend anything?"

I did not reply; instead, I looked down at my shoes. Shit, I just realized that I had removed my jacket again and now he would have another excuse to have a go about my blouse. Once the pleasantries were over, Alice and I left. As we walked away, I turned to look over my shoulder. He was stood staring at us.

"Bella, you have to wear that suit and blouse more often, it looks shit hot on you. He was totally undressing you with his eyes back there. You do realize that, don't you? I love it, Edward perving over my bff. This is classic, Tanya Denali will be history in days. You do know you can't go to Afghanistan now, don't you? You need to be here to woo him. This is great, my brother and my best friend. Oh, Bella, we'll be sisters for real!"

Shocked at her ramblings, I told her to stop. It was bad enough that I let myself remember, never mind her making me think we could be more again.

We parted with a kiss on the cheek and a promise of dinner one night later in the week. The office was quiet now that it was lunchtime. I was glad; it would give me time undisturbed to reflect on what Alice had said. I was still reeling with the knowledge that the Cullen's knew Edward and I had been fooling around back then. God, that meant Emmett, who was now my boss had known all this time and never said a word. I looked and felt a right fool, fearing what he must have thought yesterday when Edward reacted like that.

As one o'clock approached, I made my way to the lift to go up to the executive floor. James has been offered an office up here, but he preferred to stay on the floor, as he described it, to be closer to the action. I was glad, too, because it meant I didn't have to come up here every day and run the risk of running into Edward.

Emmett's secretary and PA, Gianna, told me to take a seat, they were not quite ready for me. Jane Volturi approached and told me good luck and to stay confident. When the lift opened, I was surprised to see who exited; Edward, accompanied by his mother, Esme. I stood to greet her. I was closer to her than I was with my own mother.

"Hello, dear, I hope you don't mind if we sit in on this meeting. I want to be there to support you, Bella, but this scares me."

Squeezing her hand, I glared at Edward, knowing he was pulling out all the stops to get me to cave. He knew I loved Esme and he knew I would not want to hurt her.

"Esme, you know I love you, but I want to do this. Edward, I hope you had a nice lunch, it was certainly quick. I hope you didn't leave poor Tanya just to come and fight with me."

"Tanya's just fine, Bella. You have no need to worry about her. Shall we all go in?"

I felt like I was about to be sentenced to death. Inside Emmett's office were James, Jane, Carlisle, and Emmett, and of course now Esme, Edward, and me. I felt like a lamb going to the slaughter.

We all sat down and Emmett opened up a rather full-looking folder. Inside, I could see lots of photographs and I knew what was coming.

"Bella, we all think your idea of doing this story is exciting and we want to pursue it. James, Jane, and I have been up most of the night considering your application to be the one to go and cover this story. Please have no doubt we all know you would do a fantastic job. Your talent as a gifted journalist is not in question here, do you understand that?"

"I suppose; so why then are we even discussing me not going?"

Carlisle took over now, his eyes kind and gentle.

"Bella, love, you're like family to all of us. This assignment, whilst exciting and a wonderful opportunity, is also extremely dangerous and no one in this room or firm wants to lose you. We have to consider that. We also have to consider your wishes, so we'd like you tell us all here today why you want to go. We don't want to hear about the chance of career progression, Bella; we know all that. What we want to know is why you want to leave us and put yourself at risk like this."

Tears formed in my eyes at his words. He really did care about me. Esme's hand held mine tightly and when I looked across at her, I could see that she, too, had tears in her eyes. Edward's face and expression were unreadable, cold. I wondered if he was worried about me like everyone else.

"Okay, well, I think now would be the right time for me to go. I've worked hard over the last two years and I think I deserve my shot at this. I really have nothing keeping me here." A loud huff came from Edward and now he looked like he was in pain. "I've spoken to my dad who like you is concerned, but he also respects my decisions and recognizes that I'm an adult who can and will make up my own mind. I think two months in the field will revitalize my enthusiasm for my job and now is the right time to go. I hope you understand how I feel about this. I know there are concerns about my safety and I assume that file will only reiterate that. I don't need to see those pictures, Emmett. I've researched it all myself. I know the risks."

Edward jumped in then. "Okay, so you know the risk for you, but what about those you'll leave behind? Charlie, Alice, Mum, Dad, everyone here, and what about me, Bella?"

"I don't know what you mean, Edward. Of course I care about everyone here, but I'll come back and you'll all see there was nothing to worry about," my voice trailed off and I looked down at my hands which were now fisted in my lap.

"You don't know that, though, do you, Bella? You don't fucking know that you'll be back and because of that, I can't agree to letting you go. I've said it before and I'll say it again now here in front of everyone. Over my dead body! You will not go and that's final." Once again, he stormed out of the office, but not before I saw the tears in his eyes. We needed to talk about this, just me and him, and it was a conversation I was not looking forward to.

Emmett told me he and the others would give my request some more consideration, but he asked me to reconsider as well. He also asked me to talk to Edward. It was something I intended to do, but not here at the office, it needed to be somewhere private.

James walked with me to the lifts. "You sure know how to cause a storm, girl. For the two years you've been here, nothing, not a glimmer of trouble or dissent, and now you make a suggestion of a great story and bang, all hell breaks loose. I'm telling you, Bella, that boy has a real problem with me and it's not over work issues. Did you not see his face in there? He's in pain, Bella; he's terrified you'll be hurt. You're a good friend to me, girl, and I would hate to think you were in any kind of danger, but you don't see me reacting like he does. Ask yourself why that is."

Thinking over James' words, I sat at my desk and played with the same pencil that only this morning Edward had held in his hand. With a deep breath, I picked up the phone and dialed.

"Cullen."

"It's me, Bella, can we talk please?"

"I know who it is. Do you not think after fourteen years I would not recognize your voice? Do you want to come down here or shall I come up there?"

"I was thinking of somewhere more private, actually. Can you come to my place tonight or shall I come to yours? If you're free that is."

"My place it is, about nine okay with you?"

"I'll see you at nine then."

With that I hung up.

And then I started to panic.

Okay, so next the chapter will be the talk. I need to know from you guys if you want her reveal her feelings to him or should this be about her going away? With or without lemons? Let me know, at the moment I think I've decided, but I could be swayed if I get enough opposing views.

Until next time...