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Four (a)

The beauty of the garden eerily mirrored the depth of his grief. The overcast sky reflected the utter despair infiltrating his heart. His cloak billowed around him as he moved along the winding walkway toward the statue. Under his breath, he still hoped it was some kind of mistake, but his wishes and prayers would be in vain as his eyes finally rested upon the stony face that bore the likeness of Padme. Her long tendrils were meticulously carved to fall gracefully along her slender back. He remembered moments during their time together when they were in the company of others, how Padme would flash him a smile that spoke volumes of her love of him. In his newly forged past, Vader commissioned many sculptures of Padme in hopes of finding one that could compare to his memory of her. This was the closest of many but still he found no comfort in it. The eyes were striking but lacked the depth and the warmth he longed to see. Vader reached out to touch the cheek of the statue. It was as if fate taunted him with the thing he wanted the most, tried so hard and failed to achieve. His hand withdrew slightly and closed into a fist as a dull throbbing headache soon accelerated to an unbearable blinding pain. Vader yelped and doubled over, as his brained seemed to undergo a series of insurmountable ice-cold jabs.

He shut his eyes against the memories and feelings that poured into his mind in rapid succession. Snatches of life lived in the last two years switched passed his mind's eye as a flood of raw emotions overtook him. He fell down on one knee under the pressure of the assault. He grimaced, clasped his hands on his head and yelled.

An unmitigated sorrow and heartache plunged into the depths of his soul, drowning his senses and weakening him. In his mind, he saw Padme lying on the operating table having just delivered the babies. She was growing weaker and could barely keep her eyes open. Despite his angry commands for her to stay with him, it seemed she muttered inaudible words as she exhaled her last breath. The vision passed too quickly for him to understand what she said.

Another vision passed before him. He remembered standing over the mutilated body of Emperor Palpatine as he switched off his lightsaber. He remembered the day he declared himself Emperor and the day he hired Rebecca as the nanny. He remembered training the children in the use of the darkside of the force. He remembered everyday of his imperial rule and how much everything had changed. The searing headache stopped with the last images leaving him feeling emotionally overwhelmed. He needed time to register everything that had happened to him and around him since that fateful day on Mustafar.

Here and now, he was in total control of the galaxy to make things as he felt they should be. He was the master now and free from the oppression of Darth Sidious. He had his children who would inherit his legacy and carry on the rule of the Sith. He had minions and servants to do his bidding. He had a harem of women to satisfy his every need. All that he desired was a command or in some cases a thought away. But deep in his heart he was still not at ease with the greatness he had achieved. He fought within himself to let the past stay in the past and enjoy the power he had now. Lord Vader wanted more.

In another time Vader would have been satisfied, but the glimpse of hope in having Padme caused an unexpected alteration in his definition of happiness. He was so close to having it all, and now he would not rest until he had it all.

Why did she have to die? Why couldn't I save her? Its all Obi wan's fault. The angry and agonized voice of his younger self echoed from the shadows of his mind.

His eyes darted around as the sound of Padme's voice reverberated in his mind. He was finally able to clearly remember her dying words and her last moment with him.

She gazed upon him with eyes filled with tears, and her breath slowed as her life force slowly seeped out of her. "You've done---terrible things. I can't follow you-- down this path --- you've chosen. You broke my heart, Anakin." Death crept closer as she attempted to reach up to touch his cheek. She spoke between breaths. "But I know—I know—there is—still good—in you. There is—still—." Before she could touch him, her hand fell away. She closed her eyes exhaling her spirit into the force. His anguished outcry announced her death as she lay in his arms.

Startled out of his trance, he suddenly looked up into the angelic stony face of Padme, who gazed pitifully upon him. Huge drops of rain began to fall and lightening flashed across the sky. Vader remained frozen, prostrating before the image of his angel as drops of rain fell against him and his surroundings

His mind replayed the painful sound of her bitterly sobbing on Mustafar. He bowed his head and closed his eyes as he fought the oncoming tears prickling his eyes. Lord Vader clutched his chest as an agonized moan escaped his lips. He wished his beating heart would stop and that he could regain the total cold and ruthlessness of his former self. The sky echoed his self-disgust as the crack of thunder sounded.

The vision I had was not of her dying in childbirth, but of her disappointment in what I had to do. I may not have physically killed her—but I might as well have.

Vader winced at the startling revelation and felt his heart hardened against the pain. His lips twisted in anger as he pushed away such a ridiculous concept.

No! It's not my fault! I was trying to save her. I did it all to save her. I had no choice! I had to do what had to be done! Why couldn't see she that?

He desperately searched his mind for reasons why she died despite his efforts. A broken a heart? He thought in amazed grief. He stood up and looked at the statue again.

The heavily drops of rain had soaked him completely. The drops that fell against the statue's cheek mimicked the years of tears Padme's would have shed had she survived. But in this memorial garden, she was frozen in her sorrow, doomed to forever exist in the tortuous shadow of his rise to power. Vader raised his gloved hand to Padme's cheek and brushed away the raindrops with his thumb.

It was the pain of knowing. He thought, finally arriving at a suitable cause of death. Inwardly, he cursed Obi wan.

With eyes glistening with tears, Vader sighed, "You made a mistake in trusting Obi wan, but I forgive you. I will not have this life without you. You still loved me then. I will not fail you again. I will save you and you will not know the pain of what had to be done."

He removed the stone again from the pouch on his belt and sat down on a stone bench beside Padme's grave. The Farfalla stone had now gained a purplish hue. It's brilliance reached every part of the garden and illuminated every leaf and petal, even the image of Padme was saturated in the rays of the Farfalla's light. Vader silenced his grief and concentrated on the moments following the Jedi purge. He cleared his mind of all that was irrelevant save for the pinpoint location in time he desired most.

The garden shook violently and the lines of reality quivered as Vader once again passed through the tear in the time-space continuum. The flowers and plants in the garden regressed into the curtain of time. Present day Coruscant was sucked into a vortex of time and space and was replaced with its former self in the midst of a radial political change. Clone troopers were marching and surveying every main street and avenue. Traffic congestion locked up the main thruways nearest the burning Jedi temple, as airspeeder drivers were slowing down enough to get a good look. Panic ran the streets as an unprecedented military presence passively threatened the use of force.

Vader opened his eyes. Looking at his surroundings, he saw modified pilot controls and realized he was in the cockpit of his old jedi starfighter. Once again he had achieved success in a trip back in time. He failed to realize however that his ship was currently heading into oncoming traffic. The high-pitched squeals from R2 snapped him to attention. He quickly piloted the craft out of the way and towards home. He opened a secure channel to the captain of Padme's security team.

"Typho."

"Captain Typho, I am sure by now you are aware of the situation that has arisen."

"Knight Skywalker. Yes, I am. I am also pleased to see you've escaped the attack on the temple." Captain Typho disliked some of Anakin's suggestions regarding Padme's security. The disdain was always apparent in his voice.

"We can skip the pleasantries, Captain. There is a more pressing matter at hand. The members of the senate are in danger. Padme will be leaving for Varykino immediately. Have her cruiser prepared and ready for departure. Be at the apartment to pick her up in half an hour and escort her to the destination. Security should be tight and on high alert."

"Understood. Typho out"

Vader climbed out of his fighter and stepped onto the verandah of the apartment. From the darkness of the living room emerged Padme, dressed in blue with her brown curls framing her face and playing gracefully along her back. She ran to him, wrapped her arms around him and lost herself in his warmth and the security of knowing that he was alive. Vader sensed her worries and fears immediately calm as she held him close. The floral scent of her hair wafted to his nose recalling to him the day he first met her. He felt her rounded stomach against him, reminding him of the importance of her survival. As she melted into his embrace, he realized nannies and concubines would never be worthy of association with his children or to share a bed with an emperor. For two years, Vader thirsted for a more suitable companion. No woman came closer to his vision of someone fitting to have and raise his children and stand beside him as Empress than Padme--his Padme. He gently stroked her back gazing down at her in perverse admiration.

She pulled away and said, "Are you all right? I heard there was an attack on the Jedi Temple. You can see the smoke from here."

He nodded. "I'm fine. I'm fine. Are you and the baby safe?" He looked at her intensely.

"We're safe. What's happening?" Padme rubbed his arms lovingly.

Vader paused before answering, "The Jedi have tried to overthrow the Republic." He thought it would prove necessary to repeat some steps he'd already taken in the past to ensure her compliance.

"I can't believe that!" She widened her eyes in shock. Her mouth was agape.

"I couldn't either at first, but it's true. I saw Master Windu attempt to assassinate the Chancellor myself." He understood that Padme was a strong person with a strong mind. He could not expect her to comply to any command he'd give without explanation.

"Anakin, what are you going to do?" She placed a hand over her abdomen.

She noticed his eyes were not as she remembered them. They were harder, colder and seemed to hide a dark pain behind them. His voice had changed as well matching the intensity of his eyes, which were absent of the boundless love and compassion.

Vader looked down at her stomach, turned and took a few steps away from her. The last time he stood in that spot, his concern was that she remained safely at home and waited for him. He did not foresee Obi wan's interference. Now he had a chance to stop what he thought would cause her death. At the same time, Vader sensed that there was something else happening outside of what would have been his main focus. Something sinister was causing unrest in the force, transpiring behind what was plain to see. Now that he had returned from the future with the knowledge he had acquired, he could properly sense something was afoot. However this was of no consequence to Darth Vader's objective at hand or to his future. When he returned to his new future, he would remain emperor and ruler of the galaxy and Padme would stand beside him. As Vader look at the burning vestiges of the Jedi temple, he carefully considered his words.

With his back facing her he spoke. "I will not betray the Republic. My loyalties lie with the Chancellor and with the Senate." Turning his head half way in her direction, he finished, "And with you." He looked back at the great fire in the distance and remained silent.

Padme was worried about him. He was carrying a burden that was too large for him to bear alone. She wished so much for the power to take it all away. She noticed a difference in him when she held him. It seemed like Anakin had aged slightly since earlier in the morning.

She watched him struggle within himself over something he wouldn't share with her. He was shutting her out again.

"Anakin, what's wrong?" She took a step forward.

Vader turned around and walked toward her. He commanded, "Pack your things, Padme. You are going to the lake country for awhile."

"Why?" Padme asked fearing what she was seeing his eyes. "What's going on?" She pleaded for him to open up to her.

Vader stroked her cheek, his eyes were distant and contradicted his gesture, "The Jedi will move next against the senate. For now, Coruscant isn't safe for you."

"Wh-what about Obi-Wan?"

Why does she care so much for him! It's his fault that she died! Vader pushed down the impulsive flare of anger. He realized that removing Padme will not only keep her from finding out what he did, but also keep him from killing Obi wan on Mustafar. His time will come eventually, he said to himself. "Don't worry about him. He'll be taken care of. I assure you."

"I can't believe the Jedi would do this. How could this have happened?" Padme was aghast.

She couldn't fight the confusion rising within her. Her faith in the Jedi order was shaken. The only thing that seemed to remain true was the democracy she was told the Jedi was trying to destroy and the man standing before her, who for some reason was holding something back. Despite state of things, deep in her heart she knew there was something deeply troubling him and it had nothing to do with what had been happening these last few weeks or tonight. There was more and she was determined to find out.

"I am not sure, Padme. I have already contacted Captain Typho. He will be here in 20 minutes to take you to the cruiser. Go with him to Varykino and wait there for me."

"Anakin no! I can't." Padme shook her head. "I won't leave you. Not now."

"Please Padme you must go. We will see each other again. Trust me."

"We should stay together. What if they find me?" She tried to find a way that would buy her time.

Vader's lips tightened into a thin line and his nostrils flared. Suddenly he reached out and grabbed her arms tightly. "That won't happen. I won't let it."

Padme winced and gasped under the pressure of his grip. Realizing what he was doing, Vader blinked and released her. "I-I'm sorry. I didn't um--mean to--"

"It's okay Ani, really. I know you are under a lot of stress. So much is happening so fast--", Padme sighed in her desperation as she realized he would not tell her his hearts trouble. "Why won't you tell me what's wrong? I just want to help you. I love you so much, Ani. It hurts me to see you like this. I know there is something else bothering you."

Vader's heart warmed realizing that she was more in tune with him that he thought. "I will tell you, my love, but now is not the time. Be patient with me a little longer."

In agreement, Padme nodded. "Anakin, I'm just so afraid. Everything seems to be crashing down around us." She trembled.

Vader took her into his arms. With the will to set a better outcome he said, "Have faith, my love. Everything will soon be set right. I have a very important mission. The Separatists have gathered in the Mustafar system and I'm going there to end this war. Wait for me until I get there . . . things will be different, I promise."

Vader cradled her head his large hands, leaned in and closed his lips over hers. He barely remembered how wonderful it felt to kiss her again. It was like water blessing the parched throat of a desert wanderer. Parts of himself he believed to be dead, awakened from the long slumber. Vader almost completely regressed into Anakin. He pulled away sensing the momentary loss of himself. "Please go Padme and wait for me."

"I will." Padme nodded and gave him a reassuring smile as she watched him climb back into the cockpit of the fighter.

Vader looked at her one last time and set a course for Mustafar.

He removed the stone again and gazed deep into the purplish red center of the Farfalla. A blinding flash of light inhibited his sight and finally enveloped him in darkness. He felt himself slip into a swirling vortex of time.

NEXT: Four (b) An unexpected cruel twist of fate for Vader