"Are you certain you have everything you require?" TJ asked worriedly.
"I think so," Seth told her.
"You think or you know?" she asked pointedly.
"TJ, relax," he told her. "We already located where the ore would be. I just need to work my way through the jungle, secure what I need, and return to the Christa. I figure it'll be about a week there and a week back. Give or take a little bit. I'll be back before you know it."
The pair had spent three days combing through maps of the planet, searching for any sort of ore deposits that might contain anything that could be used as a power crystal for their ship, ultimately finding the cavern Seth would travel to. He had the specs from Suzee for what size and type of crystal was needed, and if he could find multiple, all the better. He had spent the evening packing the gear he would need and sought out TJ after, looking to spend time in her company before needing to leave.
"Relaxing is easier said than done," she told him. "Especially for me." Her shoulders slumped as her head hung.
"I thought about that," he admitted. "So I thought I'd leave this with you." Reaching into the inside pocket of his uniform jacket, he pulled out his dog-eared, well-loved copy of The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy and handed it over, a lopsided smirk affixed to his face.
Affixed to the front, on some sort of sticky paper he'd found were the words "DON'T PANIC", obviously both advice for what to do in his absence and a teasing dig at her penchant for doing just that in difficult situations.
TJ rolled her eyes at him and pouted as she accepted it, promising to keep the book safe until he returned. "And you had better come back in one piece," she recalled warning him.
"Why, TJ, it sounds very much like you care," he said slyly, teasing the woman and earning a hard smack to the shoulder.
"Honestly," she retorted, crossing her arms and looking away. "I'd sooner feed you to the sand monster." Marching across the room, and into her washroom, she returned with a sky blue towel, neatly folded and likely recently laundered, and thrust it into his arms. "For your journey. I'm sure you hadn't thought to pack one."
Seth grinned, understanding the reference as he accepted the item and rubbed his hands over it. "A towel, it says, is about the most massively useful thing an interstellar hitchhiker can have-"
TJ played along. "Partly it has great practical value - you can wrap it around you for warmth-"
"Wet it for use in hand-to- hand-combat; wrap it round your head to ward off noxious fumes," he had added, grinning at the literary ping pong game they played.
"Or you can wave your towel in emergencies as a distress signal, and of course dry yourself off with it, if it still seems to be clean enough," she finished.
"Thank you, TJ," he said softly, allowing her the end of their game of quotes. Closing the space between them, he placed a small kiss on her forehead, drawing a tiny grasp of surprise from her as he did so. "I'll take good care of this," he promised with a whisper. Drawing away slightly, he saw the deep red flush that bloomed on her cheeks, matching her hair color.
TJ only nodded in return, unsure how to answer that. Fortunately, she didn't need to.
"I also added a secure channel on your Compupad," he told her.
"What?" she asked, still in a haze.
"Secure channel. So we can talk while I'm gone. Encrypted. Suzee helped me with writing an algorithm. This way our communications can't be overheard or traced, like what happened with Reaver," he told her. "I wouldn't doubt the man had a hand in contacting Command himself, considering all that's happened," Seth said bitterly.
"Do you think he is still in close range?" TJ asked worriedly.
"I don't know," he sighed. "I'd rather not find out though. Besides, is it terrible I want this to be something for just us? A way to talk with no one else to hear?"
"And here I thought that any man who can hitch the length and breadth of the galaxy, rough it, slum it, struggle against terrible odds, win through, and still knows where his towel is, is clearly a man to be reckoned with." She grinned smugly at that.
A lopsided smirk was her reward for that quip. He saw the way it completely disarmed her and he found that he liked that reaction from her. "That sense of humor is getting better," he complimented.
Red. Bright red. "Quite."
He had bid her good night then, stopping back in the morning before he left to say a proper goodbye, and flirtatiously asked for a hug, to which she responded by filling his arms with his gear. With a smirk, he left, and she was left to care for the children over the next two weeks without him. They did speak every day on the channel Seth had established and their nightly talks had been… enlightening.
Confessions. Flirting. Reflections. Each day had brought new revelations between the pair of them that made TJ see the man differently and if she were to guess, the same could be said for the way Seth viewed her as well. He shared happy stories of his relationship with his three siblings, of his tumultuous relationship with his father, of growing up in Montreal and feeling stifled and held down there. Seth never went too deeply into his family, but rather kept things light, likely to keep her from worrying more about him that she already was. It made her wonder more about the man, feeling an underlying sadness when he spoke of his siblings, but not pushing him to share any more than he was comfortable with, especially without being close to him. Instead, TJ spoke about her strained relationship with her mother and sister, of the support James always gave her, of growing up on Mars colony and feeling isolated and alone when her dad was away. Some stories contained things they had never shared with anyone else, like how each desperately tried to hide their love of reading to others for fear of ridicule (even as they shared reading stories to one another which both took comfort in), the isolation each felt as they managed their intelligence as children, always finding it hard to truly connect to someone else who never understood how their brains operated. Each shared their feelings of inadequacy with their respective difficult parents regarding the lack of significant other- TJ for not becoming the perfect wife and mother that her own Mum wanted; Seth for his perceived "gallivanting" around the galaxy and ignoring his duties to family as his father accused. Both let their guards down, trusting the other with their most intimate thoughts, musings, and slowly building feelings. TJ began to wonder just how much their feelings had changed towards one another and what that meant moving forward.
One thing she noted was how much bolder they were over comms, using the technology to hide behind their growing feelings and say what might not have been said directly face-to-face. He was equal parts mischievous and kind, intelligent and brave, courageous and compassionate. Some days he pushed her buttons and fired her up to where their banter flowed easily and freely. TJ wasn't opposed to pushing him right back. It was hard not to smile in those moments, each challenging the other as their banter passed right to overtly flirting with one another, turning each of their faces a brilliant crimson color, and leaving her heart pounding uncontrollably in her chest. A couple evenings found them both discussing the day's events, with one night in particular showing him clutching the towel she'd given him the evening before his departure.
"There's an ammonia storm heading this way," he said grimly.
TJ knew he'd been heading back and had been looking forward to his return- probably more than she should have been. Reasonably, it was because it gave her back the only support she had against the children and relieved some of the pressure. More honestly, she simply missed *him* and was hoping to be able to openly talk about their feelings in person. "Will you be able to return before you're caught in it?" she asked worriedly.
He shook his head. "No. I've mapped out a dozen different routes to try and beat it. Nothing works. I did find a network of caves not far from where I am now. They should provide a reasonable place to hunker down and wait out the storm until it passes."
"Is that wise, Seth? What about-?"
"The noxious fumes? That's what I have the towel for," he told her as he held up the blue cloth and grinned. "It's been, as we expected, a most massively useful thing."
She blushed. "I'm quite pleased you considered my advice."
"I always do," he said sincerely.
"That's a load of rubbish," she threw back.
"No, it's not," he insisted. "I completely rely on your advice for just about everything. Maybe I don't always use every bit, but I always consider your thoughts. Obviously I'm doing a terrible job of letting you know that. I'm sorry. I'll do better," he promised.
They sat in companionable silence, TJ simply watching the man through the screen of her Compupad as he absently ran his hands over the towel. Seth's eyes looked far away as he became lost in thought and struggled to decide on what to say next. What came out caught her off guard.
"I miss you."
Her heart began pounding at his confession. To be honest, she had already admitted to feeling the same to herself, but she was having trouble believing his feelings matched hers. "You do?" she whispered.
"Would I be talking to you every day if I didn't?"
She paused. He had a point. "True enough."
"You don't miss me?" he asked hesitantly. TJ's potential response had him on edge.
"I do," she confessed quietly. "Perhaps more than I thought I would or that I should."
"We should get dinner when I get back," he blurted out quickly
"Pardon?" Her head snapped upwards as her heart pounded harder. Surely, he didn't just ask-
"Dinner," he said again. "It's an evening meal usually consisting of some sort of food and light conversation." His eyebrows were raised in amusement, but his eyes themselves betrayed a different emotion. Nervousness? Affection? Hope?
"I know what it is," she said in annoyance but feeling more flustered than anything. "Are you asking me on a date, Commander?"
"Maybe?" He saw the widening of her eyes, then backpedaled quickly. "It doesn't have to be! Just- two adults enjoying each other's company away from the prying eyes and ears of the students they are charged with caring for."
TJ had seen the hope in his eyes, but also a worry as well. He's scared, she thought. For a brief moment, she wondered if his heart was hammering as hard as hers, if her eyes mirrored his in that moment. "Dinner would be lovely," she decided. "It's rare we get a moment away to just be… us. I think it would be good to relax a little. Not take each other for granted."
"I'm sorry, did Theresa James Davenport just use the word relax in a sentence?" he teased.
"I daresay, you have a talent for ruining perfectly nice moments!" she exclaimed. "Perhaps you should dine alone instead." She crossed her arms and pouted, looking away.
"TJ. Teej, look at me," he implored quietly. She cautiously glanced over, still pouting, but noting how thoroughly disarmed he seemed to be. Does my pout throw him off guard the way his smirk messes with me? she thought curiously. "I was teasing. Sometimes I forget your sense of humor is still a work in progress. I'm sorry," he told her sincerely.
Her shoulders visibly relaxed and the pout melted into a soft smile. Seth released a breath he hadn't known he was holding. "Yes, well… thank you." Taking her own breath, she added, "I think dinner would be… nice."
He flashed her a thousand megawatt smile that made her heart flutter in her chest and started a whole conversation about when their "adult time" could be a reality.
Alas, they never got their dinner. Upon Seth's return, they briefly believed they would be returning home- only for it to be a trap laid out by the Spung, which they were only just barely alerted to, courtesy of Radu and Suzee. Their narrow escape ended up with Seth severely injured and her all alone again. She had wanted to cry, to scream, to let her anxiety get the best of her but in front of the students she needed to remain calm and together. It wouldn't do anyone good to fall apart when she was literally the only adult the children had, at least until Seth was healed by the mysterious chamber Rosie had discovered before- TJ couldn't even bring herself to consider what could have happened.
By this point it had been nearly two months since their last face-to-face conversation. The discussion that led to their first kiss. The talk that ended with Seth realizing that he was the one who needed to find what was needed to get them off that God forsaken planet and help move them towards home. A home that held nothing physical for either of them- except Father, assuming he is okay, TJ thought silently to herself. In the time alone, the moments she wasn't looking out for the children (likely because they were asleep and she wasn't able to), TJ was either beside Seth as he lay comatose in the healing chamber Rosie had discovered (apparently just in time as his injuries would surely have killed him otherwise), or holed up in her quarters, taking comfort in the many books the man had painstakingly chosen to have displayed in her personal space upon the beautiful mahogany-colored shelves he'd crafted. At times, she contemplated what had motivated him to create something so personal just for her. Others, she would appreciate the gift for what it was. She would read, record log entries, and even take some of the Earth literature she knew he would enjoy and read to him, unsure if Seth could hear her, but imagining what he might say if she could.
In selecting what to read to him several weeks into his involuntary imprisonment, she spotted the well-loved copy of The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy, the one that he'd teasingly handed her the night before he left for his expedition to look for a power crystal. It was a fit of sobs in her quarters that caused her to see the book on her nightstand. "DON'T PANIC" the letters on the cover told her. Seth's message. Even hurt, he was still able to communicate with her. It brought her great comfort to know that, and she could hear his voice in her head as she read the words. With a shaky smile, she took the book gently in her hands, kissed the handwritten words, and promised aloud that she would do just as he wished. "I'll make you proud, Seth," she whispered softly. "I promise."
Rosie had been monitoring the Commander's progress throughout his time in the chamber and reported earlier that day that it should only be a day or two until he could be released- albeit on bedrest for several more days- before returning to active duty. It pleased TJ as it was becoming harder and harder to keep everything together in his absence. The entire experience certainly strengthened her as a person, taught TJ that she was more capable than anyone had ever led her to believe, but it also humbled her. It made her understand she couldn't do everything alone and she truly needed a partner on their journey. Not just anyone though. She needed him. Each day that passed without him weighed heavier and heavier. Talking to him within the chamber wasn't the same- she desperately needed his physical presence again.
Entering the Medlab after Rosie had left for the night, TJ pulled a chair beside the cylindrical tube that held Seth prisoner, and covered her own seat with the towel. The one she'd thrust at him to take on his expedition. The one he'd used to protect himself from the elements. The same one she'd cried privately into so many times since Seth had been taken from her so that the children would not see her meltdown. It became a source of comfort for her, an item with a shared significance and what she used now to sit beside him and give him the daily debriefing.
"Good evening, Seth," she greeted him warmly. No movement or response, but then there never was. "Rosie tells me you'll be well enough to join us again in a few days. She wants you to stay on bedrest for a week or so after which I'm sure you'll resist, but believe me, I will make sure you follow those orders." She paused then, feeling as though she were lecturing the man when he couldn't fight back. "Perhaps I can give you the towel we apparently are now sharing. It's been a great source of comfort in your absence." Her hand absently rubbed the fabric she was sitting on, contemplating what to say next.
"I- um, brought some more reading material tonight. Perhaps we can continue with The Martian Chronicles? You did say it was something you enjoyed- oh, but I say that each time any book is opened, don't I?" Cracking open the book to the page she'd marked, TJ began to read. "I'm numb and I'm tired. Too much has happened today. I feel as if I'd been out in a pounding rain for forty-eight hours without an umbrella or a coat. I'm soaked to the skin with emotion." Her voice choked up on the words and TJ found that no more of the prose could escape. It described exactly the state she'd been living in since Seth had been injured. The words, though Bradbury's, spoke right to *her* even as she meant to read to Seth. Not for the first time, TJ stared in amazement at the man before her. "How is it that every time I try reading to you, the passage I select feels like advice for myself? You've always been good at that- speaking to me in literary terms. The right words always seem to come to you. Even while trapped inside a glass tube you seem to find the words that get through to me. It's-"
She couldn't get the rest of the words out. Heaving a great sob, she closed the book, pulled herself into a ball, and cried until exhausted, fisting handfuls of the towel in the process. "I fear that I haven't appreciated you the way I should," TJ admitted through the tears. "I need to do better. I have to do better. I will. Just… please… I may have learned through this time I can do things alone, but I also found that I don't want to. Please, come back to me." The last words escaped as a whispered plea from a woman desperate to see the man she'd grown to deeply care for healed and fully out amongst them all.
He continued his forced slumber, unaware of the sobbing woman beside him, gently touching the glass of the chamber, and allowing the salty tears to flow down her cheeks. Not knowing that this breakdown would be the last of so many that had been endured over the past several weeks. For the next day, while she was caring for the students, Rosie and Thelma were able to bring him back.