Jill's optimism about the letter didn't last for long, in fact, it only lasted for two days. In that space of time though, she had voiced her earlier realisation.
The day after the letter came she had been standing in reception, absentmindedly listening to Lizzie chatting about a party she was going to that night, whilst she filed some patients' notes. Gordon then walked in, handed a letter to Lizzie and gestured with his head towards his office, looking at Jill, and then left.
She struggled to keep the smile from creeping onto her face. "Sorry Lizzie, I have to go." She rushed out of reception without giving the receptionist chance to answer. She opened Gordon's office door and entered. As soon as she closed the door behind her, a strong pair of arms grabbed her and pulled her securely against a firm chest. She ran her eyes slowly up his body and finally into the twinkling blue eyes of Gordon, making her heart flutter. It then started drumming rapidly in anticipation as he brought his lips towards hers, lingering for a moment until they finally met.
After a while, they drew apart, he smiling and she rather breathlessly, gazing at each other.
"Fancy a walk?" Gordon murmured throatily, glancing at his watch. "We've got about three quarters of an hour until I have to be in surgery."
Jill nodded in assent and they proceed out of the hospital building. Once outside, they made their way towards the sea front, hands just touching, but not daring to hold hands in case someone saw them.
The cool breeze off the sea pushed her hair off her face as they stood facing the water stretching towards the horizon. She closed her eyes and breathed deeply, filling her lungs with clean air, welcome after her stuffy office. They were silent and, in a lull in the traffic, all they could hear were the waves breaking on the shore and dozens of seagulls calling as they circled a fishing boat coming into the small harbour a few yards away from the doctors.
She rested her head on his shoulder, allowing the calmness of the day to relax her, the few clouds moving languidly across the strikingly blue sky mesmerising her.
"I think we should be getting back."
Jill jumped, Gordon's voice bringing her back. She lifted her head from his shoulder and looked at her watch, surprised to see that over half an hour had passed since leaving his office.
They made their way back to the redbrick building. When they reached it, just before they went up the path, Jill laid a hand on his arm stopping him. She felt an impulse to tell him how she felt, not being able to hold back any longer. She glanced around; a few nurses were walking into the ambulance bay, but other than that, they were alone.
"Gordon, can I tell you something?" She pushed her fringe aside shyly as he nodded. "Erm, well, there's no easy way to say this but…" She paused and allowed her gaze to wash over his face, seeing his bemused but encouraging smile. She brought her eyes up to meet his, and eye contact unfaltering, she continued. "Gordon, I… I love you."
Gordon said nothing, but his eyes didn't leave hers. It was she who broke eye contact first, the silence uncomfortable and beginning to unnerve her.
"Well say something then!" She laughed this out, nervousness taking over.
"Doctor Ormerod, there you are. Mr Rose is waiting for you." Lizzie's sunshine voice filled her ears.
Jill didn't know whether she was glad that Lizzie had prolonged her wait for his answer which was increasingly looking like it was going to be negative.
"I'll talk to you later Jill." Gordon said quietly then walked up the path and through the doors into the building, disappearing from her view.
The day slipped away without reply from Gordon. They passed each other in the corridor and were in theatre together after a motorcycle accident, but he didn't speak to her on anything but professional grounds. By the time she'd finished for the day, his car was no longer in the car park, he hadn't even said goodbye to her like he normally did.
Jill, curled up on her settee, sighed. She turned a page of the newspaper she was trying to read; she saw the words but didn't take them in. Glancing down at the page, the headline 'Aidensfield Resident Spots UFO' blared up at her. A look of disbelief crossing her face, she proceeded to read the article anyway.
She didn't look forward to going to bed; she would have nothing to distract her there, although the newspaper wasn't doing a very good job of stopping her from thinking about the day and what could have been different.
She cursed herself, maybe if she'd waited a little longer until she told Gordon her feelings, he would have been able to say the same to her. Maybe he didn't want to have the conversation at work in case someone overheard.
She shook her head and crossed the room to the window dismissing her thoughts and agitatedly began trying to rid the glass of various smudge and grease marks. It was becoming increasingly apparent to her that he didn't return her feelings at all. What was she to him, a laugh, a bit of fun? Had he ever felt that their relationship was serious, had he ever felt anything about her? Maybe he'd gone off her, she not meeting up to his expectations.
Flinging the curtains shut, she blinked through the tears fogging her vision. Picking up the newspaper again, she flopped back onto the settee, resigned to the long night ahead of her.
It was in that position she found herself in the morning, her eyes opening to focus on the cream ceiling above her. She shifted in a sitting position and realised the newspaper had become crumpled and torn in her hands. She raised a hand to her head, slightly dizzy, and looked at herself disgustedly. The sound of items being shoved through the letter box encouraged her to get up.
She made her way into the hall, a slight wobble in her step. She bent down, picked up the single letter lying on her mat, and as she straightened up, she turned it over. Her heart stopped for a moment and she began to feel sick to the stomach as she took in the familiar lopsided letters spelling out her name and address.