I started watching some classic Pokémon Indigo League this morning while cleaning the oven (I lead such an exciting life now my dissertation is over) and it got me a bit hyped for this, hope you enjoy it :D

"Ladies and Gentlemen," Reverend Davis said to everyone standing around in the main room. "if you could all kindly take your seats we're about to begin." Everyone began to file into the seats laid out facing the coffin. Red pushed Uncle Alfie to the front of the room, with him complaining all the way. Sapphire flopped down into the seat next to Ruby, panting and sweating profusely. Ruby grimaced.

"Jesus Sapphire you stink!" he whispered as the reverend began the service. Sapphire glared at him.

"Maybe that's because you left me to deal with Uncle Alfie on my own." she hissed. "Not to mention taking all the credit."

"Can you please be quiet." Crystal hissed turning round to glare at the both of them. She turned back to face the front. Sapphire was really irritated by this point and gave Crystal a sharp jab in the back.

"Actually Crystal just so you know we had Uncle Alfie in the car with us," she hissed all the while poking Crystal in the back. "and you took my parking space so I had to push him half a mile up the hill by myself. That was MY parking space."

"Listen," Crystal hissed angrily turning to face her. "if you don't stop poking me I'm going to take you outside and beat the living shit out of you do you understand?"

"What's going on?" Red whispered, turning around.

"She stole my parking space." Sapphire hissed. Red stared at her incredulously.

"What do you mean she stole your parking space?" he asked. "This is a funeral: behave yourself!" He turned back to face the front feeling that familiar bubble of anger, that he had been trying to ignore every single time Blue came and spoke to him, rising up again but he pushed it down.

"And now we will have a few words from one of Professor Oak's most prized pupils: Red." Reverend Davis said. Red took a deep breath and Green gave his hand a squeeze before he got to his feet and went to join the reverend next to the coffin. Reverend Davis gave him a small smile of encouragement and nodded at him. Red took the piece of paper he had been pouring over all morning and looked at all the faces staring at him.

"Hi everyone," he said. "Thank you so much for coming. I never realised Professor Oak was so popular. In fact, it seems he has more friends now that he's dead than he did when he was alive." He paused. He had expected there to be, at the very least, a small titter of laughter but the only laughter came from Silver. He cleared his throat and turned back to the paper. "Professor Oak was an exceptional man. He was born in Pallet Town and at a very young age discovered his love for discovering the world of Pokémon and developing his knowledge of them. His lab, which was built when he was twenty-five and is still standing today..."

Red's speech continued and many of the people there could feel their eyes glazing over out of boredom. This was all information that was common knowledge – it didn't say anything about Professor Oak and what he was like as a mentor, which was what they all wanted to know. The only one who seemed to be paying attention was Silver but he wasn't paying attention to Red. He was staring intently at Professor Oak's coffin. He could have sworn he had seen it moving but he couldn't have... could he? Surely not. But there it was again.

"Did you see that?" he asked Crystal. "The coffin just moved." She smiled at him and shushed him before turning back to Red. He kept watching. Still he could see the coffin trembling ever so slightly. He grabbed Crystal's arm.

"It happened again." he hissed loudly. "I'm telling you the coffin is moving!"

"Silver, please calm down." Crystal said. People were beginning to stare and Silver was beginning to get hysterical. Crystal shot a glare at Gold who just sunk a little lower into his seat. He was going to be in so much trouble with her by the end of the day.

"The coffin is moving I tell you!" Silver shouted pointing at it. "There's someone alive in there!" He got to his feet and began to make his way up to the front.

"Silver where are you going?" Crystal hissed. She tried to grab hold of his jacket and stop him but she wasn't quite quick enough.

"What the hell is wrong with you all!" Silver yelled as he reached the front. The entire congregation was staring at him at this point and Crystal had a sinking feeling that any progress Silver had made with her father was going to have diminished. She didn't even want to look in his direction. "It's moving around in there. Can't you see?" Silver continued to shout. He turned and began to push the coffin. Crystal was on her feet in seconds.

"Silver, stop touching that." she said rushing to his side and trying to prize him off the coffin.

"I've got to let him out!" Silver shouted pushing even harder. By now a small crowd had formed trying to get Silver – who was surprisingly strong – to leave the coffin alone but Silver was like a man possessed. He gave the coffin one final shove and it fell off the table. The lid opened as it fell and Professor Oak's body rolled out onto the floor to land at Red's mother's feet. She screamed before bursting into tears. Crystal grabbed Silver by the arm and managed to drag him out of the room and outside, Gold following her.

She heard Blue apologising to the crowd and telling them that they would be getting underway as soon as everything was straightened up again. She turned to the door and saw Red coming towards them with a face like thunder and knew that this was only going to be the first part of the storm that was going to rain down on her.

"What the fuck was all that about?" Red snapped.

"Red I'm so sorry..." she began trying to use herself as a barrier between him and Silver. Luckily Gold seemed to be keeping Silver out of the way.

"The coffin was moving!" Silver shouted in their direction.

"Shut up Silver!" Crystal yelled at him before turning back to Red. "Just go back inside and I can explain everything. I'm so sorry." Red sighed angrily.

"Fine." he snapped and stalked back inside. Crystal let out the breath she had been holding as he disappeared but was immediately on edge again when she heard her father's voice.

"I'm going to kill him." he snarled as he marched in Silver's direction.

"Dad leave it." she told him.

"Leave it?!" he spat. "He's completely wrecked the funeral."

"It wasn't his fault." she snapped.

"What do you mean it wasn't his fault?" her father asked incredulously. "Your Aunt Sandra is in tatters. I want him out of here this instant. Is that clear? Tell me that you will have nothing to do with that ridiculous man ever again."

"I can't do that, I'm sorry." Crystal replied.

"Why not?" Uncle Victor asked. Crystal took a deep breath, this wasn't going to go down well.

"Because we're moving in together." she told him. Uncle Victor's face contorted in anger.

"Have you completely lost your senses?" he spluttered.

"He's not actually like this." Crystal stated angrily. "He took some drugs and they've made him act funny."

"Drugs?" Uncle Victor asked. "What drugs?" Shit, Crystal thought, she hadn't meant to say that. She caught Gold's eyes and took a deep breath. Now she was going to have to cover for the both of them... great.

"He took some Valium and he had a bad reaction to it." she hedged.

"Valium?"

"Yes." she nodded. Uncle Victor glared at Silver and then at Crystal.

"We'll talk about this later." he snapped before going back inside. Crystal let out a deep breath.

"Well that could have gone better." Gold stated.

"Shut up Gold."

"Are you alright mate?" Sapphire asked giving Red a hug once he had finished talking to another member of his family. Red hugged her back.

"Not fantastic but thank you." he replied.

"God that was awful wasn't it?" Sapphire stated as the two of them turned to look at the coffin which had been placed back on the table with Professor Oak safely back inside. "The way he fell in front of your mum like a dead trout..."

"Thanks Sapphire." Red replied.

"Sorry." Sapphire winced as she realised that her choice of words wasn't fantastic. "It's just you never know when it's going to happen to you."

"I supposed so." Red replied blankly.

"Like me," Sapphire stated rolling up the sleeve of her jacket. "I've got this weird patch of skin... I've had that for a couple of weeks and I have no idea what it is." Red gave it a swift glance before Sapphire rolled her jacket sleeve down again.

"Why not show it to my Uncle Victor?" Red offered. "He's a doctor."

"Good idea, thanks mate." Sapphire said clapping Red on the shoulder. He smiled at her before another one of his relatives grabbed him to talk. While he was occupied Sapphire took that as her opportunity to go and find Red's Uncle Victor and have a chat with him. She found him pretty quickly; he was with Red's mother and a few other people in one of the quieter rooms. She tapped him on the shoulder.

"Hello Doctor, sorry to bother you but I was wondering if you could have a look at this for me?" She tolled up the sleeve of her jacket and Uncle Victor peered at it. "I've had this skin discolouration for a couple of weeks now and it's not going anywhere. I know it's just a small patch but it's a bit weird." When he didn't say anything she couldn't stop herself from talking to fill the silence. "It does look weird, doesn't it?"

"You should probably got and see a dermatologist." Uncle Victor stated.

"What do you think it is?" Sapphire asked, worried.

"It looks like some kind of pigment mutation." he replied shrugging.

"Pigment mutation?" Sapphire practically screeched beginning to panic.

"It's probably just some kind of allergic reaction to shellfish or nuts or..."

"What kind of nuts?" Sapphire asked jumping on the first thing she could in an attempt to feel a bit better. Uncle Victor shrugged again.

"I don't know; peanuts, almonds..." he replied irritably. "Will you excuse me." He turned back to Red's mother who was leaving to go back into the main room. Sapphire stared after him now feeling even more freaked out about the patch than she had been before.

"I swear I saw it moving!" Silver was still saying as Crystal and Gold sat him down on a bench a few feet away from the doors. He seemed to be even more distressed now that he was outside than he had been thinking that the coffin was moving. He ran his hands through his hair. "I must be going mad. Why are my hands so big?!"

"Silver," Crystal said taking Silver's hands away from his face and trying to get him to focus on her as best he possibly could under the circumstances. "I need to tell you something so I need you to listen ok?"

"Ok." he replied nodding slowly, his eyes wide.

"You know I gave you some Valium earlier?" Crystal asked speaking slowly so that he would understand what she was saying.

"Yes."

"Well," she began trying to find the right words. "it turns out that it wasn't actually Valium at all. It's a hallucinogenic that Gold made." Silver turned slowly to stare at Gold.

"My advice is to just relax, go with the flow and to try and enjoy it." Gold stated and gave Silver a grin. This did nothing to improve Silver's mood. He got to his feet, grabbed the front of Gold's jacket and shoved him up against the wall.

"You!" he cried in anger.

"Silver let him go!" Crystal exclaimed trying to prise him off.

"How long does it last?" he asked Gold, ignoring her.

"I don't know." Gold spluttered. Silver growled at him angrily. "Around eight hours or so." Gold replied deciding to change his answer. Silver's eyes grew even wider as the realisation of that hit him like a sledge hammer. Eight hours! He felt like he was dying and he had no idea how much time had actually passed since he had first taken the pills. The prospect of eight looming hours made his head spin even more than it already was and he began to feel dizzy. He let go of Gold's jacket.

"I'm going to be sick." he stated and ran back towards the Indigo Plateaux with the sole hope of finding a bathroom. He could hear Crystal running after him but he didn't care. After trying a few doors he eventually found a bathroom and locked the door behind him. He stared at his reflection in the mirror – he looked wide eyed, pale and sweaty. After a couple of minutes of him just staring at his own refection he heard Crystal knock on the door.

"Silver are you ok?" she asked. She tried the handle. "Silver can you let me in please?" Gold, who was standing outside with her had a sudden thought and began patting down his jacket, looking for something. His face fell when he realised what was missing.

"Crystal did you happen to see a pill bottle at all?" he asked. She ignored him. "Shit!" he muttered before beginning to retrace his steps to find it.

"Silver can you open the door please?" Crystal asked hoping to get a response from inside but when she pressed her ear to the door all she could hear was Silver muttering to himself.

"Keep it together!" he was telling himself. "You can do this, no problem. It's already been... where's my watch... oh! It's already been... Jesus! Fuck! Fuck!"

And this, kids, is why we don't do drugs :D