Alrighty... here another chapter, sorry for the delay but been busy, so read, enjoy and review!!
Disclaimer: I do not own twilight...but i do own all the other characters :)
I soon found myself sitting next to my sister and just staring at her, trying to memorize her so just in case, I would never get the chance to see her again. But it was useless, her face was covered in tiny cuts from broken glass.
She looked so pale, and so fragile, and with so many machines poking into her, didn't help. I sat there trying to remember everything that was good between us, our childhood craziness, with our dances and dress up days.
How we would go on secret missions around the neighborhood spying on the neighbors and then after getting yelled at by our mom for snooping around in other peoples yards. I looked over once again at her body, as I grabbed her hand and prayed to God that somehow she would make it out alright. The doctors said she was in a medical induced coma because of the injuries she sustained from the crash.
They also said there was only a small chance she would live through this. I felt the tears starting to come to my eyes again from thinking about losing her. But I didn't want to duel on that thought, I had to stay strong for her and most importantly myself.
I ended up staying the night by Grace's side, and feel asleep in the chair. I woke up around 5 in the morning, when the nurse came in to do her rounds. I was confused at first, not understanding where I was, but then looked down at Grace in the bed, and reality set in.
The nurse asked me to leave the room so she could check my sister, and change the wraps on her cuts. I hesitated, not wanting to leave her, afraid that she too would disappear from me as well, but the nurse kindly told me it was alright. So I reluctantly left the room in search for some food.
I found the cafeteria and got the first thing I saw, and turned around and sat at a table by a window. I robotically ate my food, not really tasting what it was, I was to numb for that. I decided that I should call Rae, so that I wouldn't be so alone. I pulled out my phone and turned it on and dialed her number. It rang a few times and I thought I was going to have to leave a message when she picked up.
"Liz...its 5 in the morning" her voice gruffy from sleeping.
"Rae," I started but then started to cry again, I just couldn't say the words to her. I didn't want it to be true, cause somewhere deep inside of me I still didn't believe it.
"Liz? What wrong? Are you ok? Why are you crying?" she started to sound a bit panicked.
"Rae…they're gone" I whispered as my sobs took me over.
"Liz, what are you talking about? Who's gone? Where are you?"
"My… my family Rae!" I cried out, "My families gone. Oh God, Oh no…" silence followed on the other end for a while as I cried and tried to pull myself together.
"Liz! Liz, you gotta listen to me. Where are you?" I could her crying to, and running around her room getting ready.
"I'm at the hospital, Grace is in a coma." I got out though my tears.
"Ok, Liz, stay there I'm coming ok? Anything you need?"
"No, I don't need anything." I answered
"ok, I will see you soon, love you"
"Thanks, love you" I hung up the phone and stared down at my plate still full of food. I threw it away, not in the mood to eat anymore and headed back to Grace's room. The nurse was done, so I went in and sat next to her again. I lost track of time, until Rae showed up at the door.
I turned to look at her, and just broke down. She rushed over and pulled me into a hug and I just hung on to her, crying my eyes out. I don't know how long we sat there, both crying, but i soon just stopped. It was to much, I just felt numb. I heard someone enter the room and say David and Lauren there. I felt a bit grateful that Rae had told them for me, so I wouldn't have to go through that again.
They just came over and joined our hug. Finally we broke apart and thanked them each for coming and then went and sat down again. Silence filled the room, I looked down at Grace and grabbed her hand again.
"It's just so unbelievable…how did this happen?" I asked no one in particular, I just saw my friends shaking their heads, trying to understand it all as well.
It was four days later and I couldn't bare to go back to my house all by myself and not expect to have a break down about every half hour so I was staying at Rae's house. Time passed in weird ways over the last couple of days. At times it would go so fast that I feared I was going to be left behind and with nowhere to go. But then at times like this, it went so incredibly slow that it seemed that I was going to be stuck in this phase of my life for forever.
Rae and I sat on the couch one afternoon after she got back from school, cause I was in no shape to go back. We were watching some random show that I had never heard about or cared about when the door bell sounded. Rae got up from the couch and went to answer the door.
I laid back down and heard a muffle of voices coming from the entry way and soon grew louder as they made their way to the room in which I was in. I looked to see who entered and saw my Aunt Dawn, my only living relative. I gave a little shriek, jumped off the couch and ran to give her a huge hug.
I could see the tears building up in her eyes, which in turn got me teary eyed as well. We just stood there holding each other and crying. I knew my family's death would affect her very much, because she was my Dad's only sister.
I thanked her over and over again for coming, cause for the first time in three days I didn't feel so alone. She sat me down on the couch and just gave a big sigh and looked at me.
She raised her hand and stroked my cheek and brushing the tears from my cheeks and said, "Oh Izzy…what are we going to do with you?"
I gave her a high hearted shrug and a forced smile, "I have no idea…"
"Well… how about you go get cleaned up and I'll make you some grilled cheese and then we'll talk, alright?"
I nodded again and headed for Rae's room to grab some clothes. I walked to her bathroom and looked into the mirror and saw a broken girl. My face was unusually pale and my hair seemed to be even more lifeless than ever before. My eyes were red and puffy from crying my eyes out the past few days. I quickly turned away and striped my clothes off and jumped into the shower.
I tried to relax my aching body and empty out my mind of everything that was going on. It seemed impossible, I kept on having memories of my parents or my brother or sister come up. I felt myself starting to break down again, I just felt so angry.
Questions flooded my mind, why was I the one left behind? Why did God have to take them all away from me? Especially all at once…that was just cruel. Why couldn't I have told them all I loved them just once last time. Had another x box completion with my brother, ask for advice from my mom, or get teased from my dad? It just seemed all so unfair, to them, to their friends, and to me.
Another memory popped into my mind of a night a couple weeks back when my soccer team lost in the championship game because of a pk the referee gave the other team off a bogus call for them to win the game. I was complaining to him that night about how unfair it was and he told me his infamous line of "Life's not fare, and you just have to deal the best with what is given to you."
His words struck a cord in me, usually when he delivered this line I would just roll my eyes and just continue onward with my point about how life was out to get me. But now, it really is true, life is unfair, there was nothing I could do to change that and I just have to deal with what's been dealt to me.
Yes, I still deeply miss my parents and brother, and hopefully my sister will make it through so I won't have to lose her as well, but this tragic event has happened to me, there's no going back so I just have to deal the best I can with it.
I turned off the shower, dried myself off and got dressed. The last couple days I hadn't put much thought in what was going on, so I took my time getting ready. I blow dried my hair, and put on some mascara. I went back to Rae's room and found some clothes that weren't wrinkly and put them on. I looked back into the mirror, I still saw a girl who was broken but she looked different, a bit older maybe and seemed to have some more life in her.
I went back down stairs to the kitchen to find Dawn. I entered and found her sitting at the table with a glass of water just starring off into space. I saw my grilled cheese in front of the chair across from her so I went and sat down. I started eating, which drew her from her phase and she smiled sadly at me.
"You look better Iz"
"Thanks, I guess" I replied
""So Iz, as you know we need to plan the funeral. I have done majority of it, we just need to pick a day."
"How bout this Friday? So it would be a week since…" I trailed off not being able to finish.
"Alight, three days isn't much, but it works. Iz, is there anything that you specially want to happen? I have you parents will, so there instructions in there of what to do, but what do you want?"
I thought about this, what I wanted wasn't possible, so I would just have to settle for the next best. "Whatever they wanted is what I want" I whispered back.
"Ok sounds good, and Iz, I don't know if this is the best time, but do you want to talk about where your going to live?"
I thought about it and was pretty sure what the answer was to that question, so I just nodded.
"Well, in your parents will, they gave custody to me, so after this is done we can stay for a few day but then you'll have to come back with me to Alaska."
I felt the tears gather in my eyes, and fought them so they wouldn't fall. I didn't want to hurt Dawns feelings by making her think that I didn't want to live with her. It was just that , I just didn't want to leave my home or friends. Definitely not my friends, I had no idea what I would do without Rae, David and Lauren. "Iz, its okay to cry, I understand." She came over to my side of the table and enveloped me into a hug and rocked me till my tears were dried up.
"I'm sorry" I got out between my sobs, "I do want to live with you, its just…it just I don't want to leave."
"It's alright, I know, I know." She brought her hand up to my face and brushed my tears away. "We can sort out the details when your ready." She kissed my head and took my now empty plate and went to the sink.
I just watched my Aunt and remembered that she had gone through the same thing before.
She is my Dads twin, they lost their parents when they were twenty, and she also lost her husband when he died overseas in the Iraq war.
"Dawn?" I called out to her as she started to leave the kitchen. She stopped and turned to face me, "It does get easier right?"
She just looked at me for a second and walked toward me again. "Of course Izzy it does. It just takes a whole lot of hurt to get there." She paused for a second, "The way I think of it is that all those days in the future when we won't be thinking of them we are just paying the price now. So that one day you will be able to wake up and start your day without a thought of them. But for now, you just gotta hold on tight and deal with it. I know how bad that sounds, but its true"
I nodded again, "And do you ever feel the same again?"
She just smiled sympathetically at me, "I know you feel so alone right now Iz, and think that nothing will ever be right. But things turn around eventually. Just remember you've got me and all your friends here to help. Don't shut yourself in, reach out. I know its hard, but trust me, it makes all the difference."
okay... sorry for such a long break, ive been busy with college aps and school and life.. so heres what i got and PLEASE let me know what you think.. i love all comments, even if you think i suck i would love to hear that so i can change things. So plaese let me know what you think!!!