MisPlaCeD: The Sciocco Famiglia

Flame Hazes. Phazon Fueled Kids, and Rayne Nara

The thunder of a waterfall, the garbling of the river that rushed past, birds chirping overhead, trees' swaying with the wind, and despite the dark clouds in the sky, the forest was incredibly calm and peaceful.

And if it wasn't so peaceful, FlameHaze17, a.k.a. Flame, would've torn it apart in mere seconds.

How dare something like this happens to her! How dare she was sucked into her computer just when she had found the mother of all KonoSetsu moments! How dare that Fate let her get sucked into a really weird, swirling blue portal! How dare her glasses get cracked while traveling through said portal! How dare- wait. What was that?

Feeling curious, Flame stood up and walked over to the nearby bushes where she could see something glinting through the gap underneath. Pushing her now cracked glasses further up the bridge of her nose, Flame crouched down and pushed aside the mess of leaves and small branches, peeking through the shrubbery and gasping at the sight behind it.

Sitting there on the ground all by its lonesome was a chainsaw. Not just any chainsaw mind you, but this one had many added features that ordinary chainsaws didn't have (like the infinite power supply and the extendable blade) and the whole thing gleamed like new! Not only that, but on the sides of the blade was a single name carved into it in curvy letters.

Ralph.

Squealing with glee, Flame grabbed Ralph the Chainsaw and began spinning around in some form of dancing, jumping up and down and feeling like she was up in the clouds.

"Ralph! I have found thee!" Flame cried, almost tearing up in the happy face-to-blade meeting with her precious and most favorite killing weapon. And after ten minutes of giddy happy dancing, Flame revved Ralph's engine as a sadistic grin crept up her face. "Oh yes, you will definitely make mama happy." Ralph purred in Flame's hands and the yuri fangirl felt an excited chill go up her spine.

All of sudden, just before Flame decided to chop down some trees (and rip apart a few forest animals as well) to release her contained fury, a bright blue light shone down on the proclaimed psycho. Squinting up at the sky, Flame saw something dark in the center of the flashing blue ball of light before common sense kicked her in the head. With a shriek that would've made a banshee blush in embarrassment, Flame half ran, half stumbled away as the ball of blue came crashing into the ground.

Diving into the dirt to further avoid the ball of blue light, Flame felt the ground shake beneath her as a loud explosion resonated in the air. The bespectacled girl could also felt chunks of dirt pepper her back and there was a faint smell of smoke and hot metal drifting through the air. Once she deemed it safe enough, Flame slowly pushed herself off of the ground and turned to look at whatever had crash landed into the ground near her.

There was a pillar of smoke rising not too far from her and whatever had landed made itself a small crater in the ground. Brushing dirt off of her (and her poor Ralph), Flame slowly approached the carnage, starting up her precious chainsaw just in case some freaky alien being stumbled out of the ruins, ready to suck her brains out.

Not half a minute later, something did stumble out of the ruins, but before Flame could swing Ralph around and slice through flesh, she found that the figure wasn't an alien being ready to suck her brains out.

In fact, the figure was actually a human, a teenage boy to be exact, and he looked battered and bruised as he fell to his knees near Flame, cradling his left arm in his right.

"Ohemgee!" Flame cried out, running up to the boy and kneeling down next to him. "Are you okay?"

Blue eyes that were slightly hidden by dirty blond hair looked up at her and gave her an expression that said "Do I look okay?" Flame just gave him a twitchy smile and said, "Sorry, standard question."

Wrapping her free arm around the unnamed boy, Flame half carried him to a nearby tree and set him down at the base, placing Ralph near her before peering at the boy's left arm.

"It's not broken," said the boy in a slightly hoarse voice.

"But its cut up pretty bad," said Flame. "You know how to handle it?"

"I don't know how to clean it up, but I can stop the bleeding at least."

"Good, 'cuz I inflict pain, not mend it."

Shaking her brown hair out of her face and ignoring the look the boy gave her, Flame looked back at the still smoldering pile of… whatever it was… and she wondered what could've happened to it. As if reading her mind, the boy answered Flame's unasked question.

"I was doing an experiment, until it blew up in my face," he said, causing Flame to look back at him. "I traveled through a wormhole to get here, but it seemed that my machine got busted in the process, hence my injuries and why there was an explosion.

"I see," Flame said, though in truth, she could barely see it.

Sighing a bit, the boy stood up, still cradling his left arm, and he approached the ruins of his machine, which was still smoldering in the crater it had created, smoke rising out of it. Flame followed him, partly because she was curious and partly because she had nothing else to do.

Once Flame was close enough, she actually saw that the boy's so called "wormhole machine" was actually a washing machine. Feeling a sweatdrop form on her head, Flame glanced over at the boy, who was poking around in a small pile of metal that was a couple of feet from the damaged washing machine. She walked up behind him and bent over to peer at what he was fiddling with.

"Is that a computer?" Flame asked and the boy nodded, crouching down and fiddling with his damaged appliance.

"It was hooked up to my machine," the boy explained. "I guess that's why it got sucked in with me." The boy then gave out an exasperated sigh. "And all my data was there," he half whined.

Flame peered ever closer at the computer screen, which was still on but was quickly flickering away. She could see that the desktop background was that of a group of chibi girls, each unique in their own way, and there was a caption of "Touhou" near the bottom. The screen flickered on and off yet again, and one of the windows that were minimized on the taskbar suddenly maximized itself. That very window happened to be a saved page from the internet. It showed a couple of blue-ish panels with avatars on the left and typed responses in each of its respective boxes.

Flame recognized one of the avatars as her own, which was a picture of Suzumiya Haruhi grasping a protesting Asahina Mikuru in a very suggestive headlock.

"Oh my God, that's me!" Flame exclaimed, pointing at the computer screen which finally flickered and lost its power.

"Hm?" said the boy and he caught a faint glimpse of what Flame was pointing at before the computer went completely blank. His jaw fell open at the sight of the yuri-ish avatar and he looked up at the bespectacled Flame, taking in her appearance once more and finally noticing the chainsaw she held at her side. "Wait, so you mean… you're Flame?!"

Flame looked at the boy, eyes wide and mouth slightly slack. Slowly, she nodded, looking a little dumbfounded.

"How do you…" she started, but she had a feeling she knew what the boy was going to say.

"I'm Phazon. Or Kid if you like," said the boy and Flame could've sworn her jaw reached the ground in shock.

"Y-You're Kid?!"

A nod was all she needed before she gave out a loud squeal and she practically glomped the teenaged boy, who winced in pain as his arm as pressed between their two bodies.

"Ohmigod, ohmigod, ohmigod!" Flame cried, bouncing up and down in Kid's lap. "You're so much cuter in person!"

"Ow! Flame, my arm!" Kid exclaimed, his face going red at the girl's last sentence.

"Oops, sorry."

Flame removed herself from Kid and she grinned from ear to ear, looking oddly like the Cheshire Cat. Kid winced a bit as more pain shot up his arm, but it faded quickly and he looked back at Flame, who was bouncing up and down in excitement.

"This is so cool! Meeting you here in… wherever we are!" Flame stated, grinning so widely that she almost bared all of her teeth.

"Uh, yeah, I guess it is," said Kid, smiling at Flame.

"But it's your fault that we're here."

Kid's smile fell and he hung his head in shame. "Yeah… I guess it is…" he said a bit sadly.

"But if you're here, and I'm here, then that means everyone else in the forum must be here as well!"

At that, Kid brightened up. "You may be right there."

"But since you're the one who made the wormhole thingy and transported us here, it's your fault that I wasn't able to see that very important KonoSetsu moment!"

"Huh?"

Kid cringed at the very pissed off look on Flame's face; her eyes seemed to burn fire as she revved Ralph once more, his engine growling hungrily. In a moment of hysteria, Kid thought that Flame looked like some of the demonic monsters he had encountered in many of his video games.

"Whoa, whoa, whoa! Flame, no need to get violent!" cried Kid, inching away from the furious psycho with the chainsaw.

"I can get violent whenever I want!" Flame all but yelled, raising Ralph and gnashing her teeth.

And yet, before Flame could take a swing at the blond boy, she was interrupted by a loud shriek that sounded as if it had actually come from a banshee. Both Kid and Flame looked towards the forest, where the shriek had come from, and not a second later, the ground began to shake. It wasn't like an earthquake. It was more like a hundred feet thundering onto the dirt, making their way towards the two friends and their smoldering pile of metal.

"I think we should run," said Kid, slowly getting to his feet.

"My mind's saying that, but my body won't move," said Flame, Ralph sputtering in her hands.

Suddenly, a figure crashed through the bushes, looking thoroughly beat and tired out, leaves and twigs in her long black hair and smudges of dirt on the exposed parts of her body. Kid and Flame stared at her, but she waved her arms in a motion that told them to get their feet moving.

"Ruuuuun!" this new figure cried and she zoomed past them, following the river downstream.

As she said that single word, a herd of wild boars crashed through the bushes behind her, looking extremely angry and not at all pleased. They bared their tusks and teeth and snorted their boar snorts as the herd of over forty charged towards Kid and Flame.

"I ain't afraid of no pigs!" Flame exclaimed, revving up Ralph, but she wasn't able to even take a step forward when Kid grabbed her arm and pulled her after the running girl.

"Less violence, more running!" Kid cried and he sped off after the unknown girl.

And so began their comical chase through the forest where they came upon dead ends, disguised themselves as a bear, slipped on falling banana peels from the monkeys in the trees, and even had time to play a game of poker with some snakes before the boars found them and they had to be chased once again…

Just kidding. What actually happened is that they shortly came across the unknown girl, who helped them climb a large vine-covered tree, out of reach from the boars that just ran past as if forgetting who they were chasing or even why they were running in the first place.

Panting and out of breath, Flame and Kid rested on the thick branches of the tree with the girl, who was just as tuckered out as they were. A moment passed between the three before Flame spoke.

"Thanks for the help," she said to the girl, who just nodded.

"And you wanted to butcher those so-called pigs," said Kid, smirking at Flame who only pouted at him.

"What were you guys doing down there anyway?" the girl intervened.

"Well, I got sucked into a portal in my computer and it was all because of his stupid wormhole experiment!" Flame said, pointing an accusing finger at Kid.

"C'mon Flame, it's not like I wanted this to happen!" Kid argued.

"Kid, you were experimenting on wormholes for Ralph's sake! How can you not expect to be sucked into it?!"

At that, Kid mumbled something that neither girls could hear, but the unnamed girl did a double take at their short argument.

"Did you guys just call each other Kid and Flame?" she asked.

"Yeah," said Flame, crossing her arms and eyes still narrowed at Kid. "They're not our real names, just our pen names on fanfiction dot net."

The girl's mouth formed an o and she grinned at the two. "So you're FlameHaze17 and he's PHAZONFUELEDKID?"

Both Kid and Flame looked at the girl for a moment, then both said in unison, "And you are?"

The girl's grin grew wider, if possible, and she pointed to herself as she said, "Rayne! I'm Rayne Nara!"

And abrupt stop! Sorry to make this short, but the next chappie will be considerably longer. I am only taking this time to say that I don't know if Kid has blue eyes, but I'm sure he has dirty blond hair (as seen in his profile) and Rayne… well, I just took her description from Obi's story XP

Good news! More of my friends are making a MisPlaCeD story! Flame already has one posted in the Negima! section entitled MisPlaCeD: Run For Your Lives, Negima!

Kid and Pie are planning on a MisPlaCeD story in the Touhou and Outsiders series respectively. If you non-Random-Roleplayers are interested, please check out Flame and Obi's story and I will get back to you on Kid and Pie's story.

Thanks to those non-Random-Roleplayers who have reviewed and subscribed to the story alert. And of course, thanks to my random friends for without them, my life will still be miserable and roleplay-less… not to mention Obi-less XP

Beware of Flame and Ralph the chainsaw!