AN: Emmett is one of my fav. characters. I'm sorry I kinda dissed him. I apologize, dear Emmy. I still love you very much though. And I think David Archuleta's song Crush is pretty good. I hope you liked it, too.

It's 2:30 AM where I'm from and I was going to post in the morning tomorrow (which I should do) but I wanted to get you guys to read it first. I'm assuming it's mid-morning for a lot of you. I'm probably gonna wait for my first review and then hit the sheets so, um, please don't disappoint?

As soon as we had three cartloads of Pop-Tarts filled (Emmett pushed two carts), we went to find a previously mentioned object on Bella's list: Fruit by the Foot.

"The name is not very appetizing, isn't it?" I commented. "Who wants to eat something that mentions feet on the label?"

"Maybe it's not even food. Maybe it is something that has to do with feet." Emmett supplied helpfully.

"What? Like, feet fruit?" I asked.

I paused for a moment.

"Okay, I have no idea what I'm talking about. Being so close to human objects is giving me a headache."

"Look, maybe we should just ask someone." Emmett said.

"No, Em, we can't," I objected, shaking my head. "What if whatever we are asking about is very well-known to humans? How do explain that we don't know something like that?"

Emmett looked thoughtful fro a moment, thinking everything I said through. "You're right," he finally gave in.

Both of us silently thought about what we should do and I got an idea.

"Hey, maybe we should ask what aisle the feet stuff is! Yeah, we can just say that we misplaced where the aisle for the fruit/feet thing is. No one can pin anything on us for that."

Emmett brightened, "Right! It's an honest to goodness mistake"

Emmett and I walked toward the cashier, a bubblegum-popping redhead. I read what was stitched to her fluorescent-yellow vest. 'Melanie', it read.

"Hello, Melanie," I began as I approached the thing where they place the food and stuff (AN: sorry, what its name?).

Melanie's jaw dropped to the ground (okay, I'm exaggerating) and I got a whiff of the watermelon bubblegum she was chewing. Come to think of it, I also got to see the gum. Uncouth manners.

This situation was awkward. Again. Being so good-looking is a burden (just kidding!).

"Melanie, where would we find some 'Fruit by the Foot'? They're my favorite stuff to, er, eat. Or, maybe, drink. Or, um, place on my feet. Or, er, wash my car with. Well, so, you know what I mean. May I inquire to where I can find these, um, delightful things?"

Sweet move, Jasper. You just win the Idiot of the Year award. Well, you just broke Emmett's winning streak.

Luckily, Melanie seemed not to have heard my rambling. She shook her head after a moment and said, "I'm sorry, what did you ask?". She had a nasal, obnoxious, whiny noise. I took an immediate dislike of her. She sounded spoiled and bratty. Actually she sounded a bit like Rosalie. Those two adjectives described Rose quite perfectly.

"I asked about Fruit by the Foot. Where may I find these, er, stuff?"

Don't talk any more, Jasper. DO NOT talk anymore.

"Look in the candy section, aisle 4," her eyes raked over Emmett for a moment. Emmett, who had been watching the TV which was featuring a music video instead of sports (a tragedy in Em's book), glanced over at her and smiled widely, baring his teeth at her, practically growling.

Melanie didn't seem to notice. She didn't seem to get enough air in her brain to notice anything, really. Most of her brain cells seemed to be focused on the chomping of that bubble gum.

Still staring at Emmett (I tried to keep her emotions as detached from my body as possible), Melanie smiled in a way she obviously thought would be alluring. It looked like she was trying not to throw up, actually.

"Have you heard this song before?" Melanie asked Emmett.

"Huh?" He said, obviously disappointed that his tactic at scaring her hadn't worked.

"It's David Archuleta's song. Crush." She informed Emmett, who looked like he couldn't have cared less.

"Oh, ol' David," he said, a sudden gleam reaching his eye (I knew that gleam. It meant trouble). "He's a relative, actually."

Melanie sucked in a deep breath and let it out with a rush of air. The scent of blood spread into the air a bit. I didn't have time for this nonsense.

"Come on, Emmett we need to leave. Aisle Four, remember?" I said.

Melanie was right in front of Emmett now, though, with no plans of letting him leave any time soon.

"OMG! You, like, totally have to, like, introduce us! I mean, you are really cute and all, but I've never seen you on TV, so I think I like him more, okay?" Melanie chewed harder on the gum.

"No hard feelings," Emmett said grandly. "I'm sure you and I would've been great together, but, well, I'm no Dave Anderson."

"Who's Dave Anderson?" Melanie asked, confused.

"Er, what was the name of that guy on the music video?" Emmett asked her.

My patience was running out. "EMMETT!" I hissed loudly

"David Archuleta," she said proudly.

"Yeah, well I'm no David Archuleta," Emmett continued, acting as though he hadn't heard me.

Melanie smiled dreamily. "Isn't he amazingly hot?" she asked.

"Yes," I snapped, annoyed. "Amazing. Yes. Hot. Yes. Let's just go!"

"When can I meet him?" Melanie asked, now completely love-struck and in la-la land.

"As soon as his tour is over," Emmett said.

Melanie's eyes sparkled and she blew a bubble and popped it before she spoke. "He's on tour?" she asked.

"Yes and as soon as—"

I couldn't stand it a moment longer and yanked Emmett by the ear and shoved him toward aisle 4.

Melanie called after Emmett, "Don't forget to tell him about me, Cute Random Store Guy, okay? I'll be waiting for his call."

"No problem," Emmett hollered over his shoulder.

As soon as we entered the candy section and were away from Melanie's eyes, I cornered Emmett.

"What the hell was that about?" I seethed.

"What? I was just having a little fun," Emmett said innocently, managing to look like and angel.

Well, an angel with bulging triceps, but you understand what I mean.

I glowered at him for a moment but let it go. If I had a penny for every stupid, ridiculous stunt Emmett pulled, I'd be up at least 12 million dollars right now. It did no good to lecture Emmett. It was like telling Tom that, no matter what, Jerry would get away.

"So, um, the feet stuff were candy?" Emmett said, abruptly changing the subject.

"Yeah, they were apparently," I said. I spotted a box that had a picture of a roll of… something uncurling.

"Oh," Emmett said. "When they say Fruit by the Foot they mean a foot of fruit. That is pretty clever." He said admirably.

I looked at him for moment.

"Emmett, let's get this shopping trip over with before the fumes of the food give you brain damage."

I stayed up way late last night writing this chapter :). The least you can do is review! Was the David Archuleta thing unnecessary? I just wanted to add to the story the fact that there were other things going on in the store, not just Em and Jazz's shopping, but it seemed a little random. What did you think?