Beast Boy's in his room, banging his head against the wall.

'Stupid, stupid,' He thought repeatedly.

His head aches as he sat back on his lower bunk. His head's on the pillow as he remembers the exchange he had with the Joker.

'Dammit,' He cursed within himself.

'Why'd he had to come back? Why? God, why?'

His tears are pouring out as he drifts into a fitful sleep.

After my parents' boat disappeared from sight, the men around me paddled toward land.

I felt something inside, something I've never really felt. Besides grief, besides rage, besides heartache. Something so powerful that I started to cry. That feeling that I had and still follows me like a phantom all the way to the present:

Regret.

The man who shot my parents smirked at me. He then said in a soft voice, "Don't worry kid. You'll be alright with me now. I'm Nicholas Galtry, your uncle."

I stared at him blankly. It seemed like hours till I stuttered, "U-uncle? Does t-that mean…-"

"Yup. I am your father's dearest brother."

My eyes widened, "W-why did you kill your b-brother?"

Galtry stepped closer to the cage, "'Cause I want you."

A shiver went up my spine. I started shaking, kept asking myself why a brother would murder someone in cold blood and then be all nonchalant about it. Like nothing happened.

We finally made it to the pier. There was a black SUV waiting for us. Galtry grabbed the cage roughly. I tried to keep my balance as he sauntered up to the SUV's trunk. He opened it and glanced back at me.

I was whimpering at this point, to which he sneered, "Oh, stop your whining. Real soon, you'll appreciate me. And even if you don't, then I'll just have to force it out, don't I?"

He threw the cage inside and shut the trunk.

Engulfed in darkness, I started screaming. Holding the bars, the chicken wire, and shaking them like a lunatic. I've always hated being in the dark. It was suffocating. It felt like I was being mocked and sneered.

I couldn't see anything, but I could pick up on what they were saying. My hearing was so heightened I could even hear the electric motor of the black SUV in extreme detail. I heard my uncle talking to his cronies.

"Well, well, well my men. We finally got my nephew. Imagine it, my friends! When he finally masters his powers, we will have the luxury lifestyle. We will send him to rob banks, make him steal valuables. Nobody will be able to stop him. We will be invulnerable!"

The men cheered and roared.

Again, I wasn't stupid. I was raised with morals, with a deep sense of right and wrong. I didn't want to do any of those things. It was pretty clear to me, from an early age and beyond, that certain things were just... reprehensible.

So sitting in that cage, the bars enmeshed in chicken wire, I curled myself into a ball. I sobbed myself to sleep, with that same exact question haunting me, over and over and over:

"Why didn't I stop him from killing my parents?"

Raven couldn't meditate. Couldn't focus. Her thoughts kept going back to Beast Boy.

'Why did he run away? It can't be a prank or a pun. Not with that face.'

She sighed. Then she said, "I should go check on him. Just to make sure. That way, I can go back to meditating and—"

'Nope! This isn't about meditation. You just want to check on Beast Boy because—let's face it—we loooovvvve him!' Happy chirped.

'Shut up Happy,' Raven thought angrily. She hates Happy. She constantly annoys her. 'I do NOT love Beast Boy.'

'Yeah, yeah, yeah, whatever you say.' Happy giggled, 'Keep telling yourself that, but you know full well it's not true!'

Affection (who is really Love, though Raven herself won't admit it) joins the conversation, 'I agree with Happy. You are in denial, but it's crystal clear. You do love him.'

It was a battle inside Raven's head as she arrives in front of Beast Boy's door.

'SHUT… UP!'

Her emotions fade out.

'Finally,' she thought, 'Now. Gotta find out what's wrong with that boy.'

Raven knocked on Beast Boy's door.

Knock knock knock knock knock

Beast Boy slowly stirs, checking his surroundings as he stretches.

Knock knock knock knock

Beast Boy jumped, not expecting anyone will knock on his door, "Err... who is it?"

"It's Raven. Please open up. I want to talk to you."

'Oh crap! She noticed! Stupid, stupid...'

He unlocks his door. He turns the knob and opens it, revealing Raven standing in front of him.

"Heeeeey Rae! What's up?" He said happily with his trademark grin.

Raven was taken aback; she didn't even correct him this time. That joy in his voice, that familiar grin, but she was able to speak calmly without revealing anything.

"Hello Beast Boy. I was just... wondering if you're okay."

'She definitely noticed.'

There's an awkward silence.

Beast Boy is desperately thinking up an excuse.

Finally he spoke up.

"Yeah, I'm okay. Just spaced out and I… I thought up a good prank."

'Dear God, please let her fall for it.'

"Oh… well. Alright. Ok. As long as that prank is not for me, we're good."

Raven glared at Beast Boy for emphasis.

Raven, despite being an empath, could not detect Beast Boy's emotions nor read his mind. No matter how hard she tried, she couldn't. It irked her, since she could do so easily with the rest of the team or with any other civilian.

Beast Boy chuckled sheepishly, "Don't worry Rae. It ain't for you."

"For the last time, my name is Raven."

"Yeah, yeah, yeah. Whatever you say."

Raven growled at him and Beast Boy, gulping, begged,

"Ok, ok! Geez. Sorry, Raven."

As Raven glared at his emerald eyes, she notices the tear streaks on his cheeks. Her face softened.

"Beast boy? Have you been crying?"

"What? No!" Beast Boy answered quickly, avoiding eye contact, "You're just... seeing things."

Raven sighed again.

She relied, softly, "Beast Boy, listen to me. I know I may be harsh sometimes..."

Beast Boy glanced into her eyes as she talked.

'God, they are so… beautiful. It even matches up with her hair perfectly.'

He snapped back when she continued, "We may go off on wrong foot, but you know, I— I'll be there for you. If you need me."

Beast Boy looks down avoiding her eyes once again and thought:

'Will I be able to tell her? Will she help me? Or will she tell Robin? Will she hate me even more? Will she be afraid of me?'

"Beast Boy," Raven whispered, "Did you hear what I said?"

Beast Boy glanced up at Raven who is still standing close to him.

'Maybe… Is there hope? Maybe, just maybe… she could help me.'

"Um... ok… But I think— I think I'd rather talk when it's late. You know, when everyone is asleep…"

He trailed off.

'What the hell am I doing?'

"Alright. Meet me in my room when you're ready," Raven starts to walk away back to her room when Beast Boy peeks out.

"Wait!"

Ravens stopped and look back at Beast Boy.

"I just want to say… thanks…"

Raven nods, then walks away.

'That bad?' Raven thought, 'So much so he doesn't want anyone else to know…'

Once Raven disappears across the hall, he goes back in his room, grabs his pillow and buried his face in it. He screamed, his voice muffled. His mind was just as panicked.

'DAMN IT! WHAT AM I THINKING?'

Beast Boy threw the pillow and paced back and forth in his room.

'Can I tell Raven? Can I trust her?'

Trust. He lost that long ago, the moment when the Doom Patrol—no, Mento— seemed to have just abandoned him. Seemed to stop believing in him.

'Is it possible… Is it possible to trust Raven…?'

It is one in the morning. Raven keeps looking at the clock, wondering when Beast Boy will knock on her door. Beast Boy is standing in front of her door, ruminating.

A thought kept intruding him:

'Go back to your room. Before it's too late'

And yet another kept encouraging him:

'Go on. Knock.'

He finally brings him hand up to knock which caused Raven to jump.

Raven gets up from her bed, and opens the door.

"Beast Boy."

The moment he hears her voice, he immediately regrets it. But it's way too late now.

"Hey Rae."

Raven glowered at him.

"My name is not 'Rae.' It's Raven. Get it in your damned head already..."

She only sighed, and gestures him to come in. It's way too late for arguments now.

"Heh, heh. I'm sorry, Raven."

Beast Boy walks in and checks every detail in her room. Her walls are dark purple. There are shelves filled to the brim with books. Some are stacked neatly on the floor; there's just too many volumes to stuff into her shelves. Her bed is in the middle of the room against the wall. The blankets are purple, albeit a little brighter than the walls. Both of them sit on her bed.

'It's way too dark' He thought, 'She doesn't deserve to isolate herself in the dark like this.'

"So, what do you want to talk about?" She spoke monotonously.

Beast Boy hates that voice, hates how it grovels and rasps through him. Most of all, he hates how she refused to show emotions. He always thought that she should be free, not trapped in her own shell of monotony.

"Uh, I'm not so sure," Beast Boy said sheepishly, but honestly. Then, a question appeared in his head, "Uh... I was wondering, Raven... you're half-demon, right?"

Raven was taken aback at the question but managed to keep her emotions steady. She answered rather coolly, "Yes. And I'm also half-human."

"Yeah, I know. I mean, I was wondering though: how'd you deal with it? You know, how'd you... handle that... really dark side of you, just waiting to grab you and take control and... you know, not really be able to do anything about it?"

Beast Boy knew he was taking a huge risk asking her such a personal question. If she gets offended or provoked, she won't kick him out into the hallway. She might throw him out of the window into the frigid ocean.

However, when he looks at her, there's no hatred or venom or anger. Her face is a mask of coolness and calmness. Her eyes stare off into the distance, thinking about how to respond.

Then she says,

"Well, I… I'm not sure Beast Boy. I came to Earth, thinking if I help people, if I continue to do good, then maybe I could become more of myself, than that brutal, vicious demon that's always waiting, ready to take over me. But I was wrong. I'll always be a half-demon, no matter what I do. After my father Trigon took over the world, it was supposed to be the end. None of us were supposed to survive but you guys—you gave me hope. Hope saved me. It saved all of us, really. But to me it made me ignore the fact that I am half-demon. I realized that I may be that person. No doubt, it'll always be there but it doesn't have to be who I really am."

Beast Boy stared, then his face scrunched up in thought.

'She has choices. She is so lucky. God, I have none. I don't have hope…'

"Um, thank you, Raven." He stands up only to be struck by one more question. "Wait!"

He sat on Raven's bed next to her very quickly and asks, "Can you read my mind?"

Raven sort of tensed up since Beast Boy is sitting so close to her, but at the same time… it doesn't really bother her. In fact, she is actually enjoying it a bit.

She muttered under her breath to her doppelgängers, "Damn it."

She says, "No. I can't. I don't know why. You're the only person I can't decipher."

'Oh, thank God,' Beast Boy thought, relieved.

"Thanks, Raven. I guess I'll leave now."

Beast Boy stood up and walked to her door when she heard Raven say, "Wait, Beast Boy."

She stood up and walked up to him.

"You can talk to me anytime, you know."

Beast Boy gives her a huge grin, "Same goes to you Raven. My room's always open."

Raven started to blush; she automatically pulls her hood over, to cover her face.

"Oh come on! Don't hide yourself," Beast Boy said as he gently tugged her hood off her head.

"I hate it when you hide yourself."

'God, I am such a hypocrite. Here I am, telling Raven that she doesn't have to hide herself while I'm the one doing all the hiding.'

He stared into her eyes and starts to lean in.

"I'll see you tomorrow," Raven said nervously, since his face was way too close to her own.

Beast Boy snapped back into reality, "Uh, yeah. Yeah! See you tomorrow," he said, with a grin, and left her room.

Raven sighed as her emotions started going out of control, blabbering about how handsome and adorable Beast Boy is. She walks up, lies down into her bed and after keeping her emotions at bay, drifts off to sleep.

Beast Boy rubs his forehead as he entered his room. 'I really should take a day off, just to clean this mess.'

He knows full well that won't happen in just a single day, but he was willing to try, if that's what it took.

Out of nowhere, his window shattered. Beast Boy ducked, letting out a yell. He immediately covered his mouth, making sure he wouldn't wake his teammates.

As he slowly rises, he looks down. Shards of glass litter his floor along with the rest of his trash. He notices a rock, with a card tied to it. Carefully, he unties it. He sees the signature joker card. He knew what it meant, and whom it belonged to. He turns the back of the card. Letters are scrawled, and some of the "e"s are backwards. He reads carefully.

Hello Garfield,

I hope you have been thinking about our conversation. I take it that you love your team, that you care about them.

Disgusting.

If you really want what's best for your team, you will QUIT the Teen Titans. No explanations. No questions asked. Just take the high road and leave them hanging, in fact, the SAME WAY you left me.

But, I will give you a chance to redeem yourself.

Come with me.

And if you don't?

Well, I'll make sure the Titans will suffer. Greatly.

How?

When I reveal to them who you really are.

Alas, the choice is yours to make. But the cards are stacked against you. I suggest you choose wisely.

-Joker

Tears fall, splashing on the note. Beast Boy gulped.

He loves his team. They are like his family.

Robin, a father figure, even though he may not remember who he really is. Starfire, with her motherly instinct and sweet personality. Cyborg, his surrogate big brother, who constantly beats him on video games, arguing endlessly about food, and yet no matter how bad their arguments got, his advice has proved invaluable.

And Raven? He doesn't view Raven as a sibling. If anything, he wishes that they were more than just friends. He knew Raven may not feel the same way, but it doesn't stop him from trying to make her laugh. Seeing her smile, seeing her free, meant the world to him.

He clutches the note in his hand. He wipes his eyes. He sighed, looking across the broken window. He'd already made his choice.

He grabbed his communicator, out of his pocket, and places it carefully on his bed. There is no note to write. No explanation to give. He silently said his good-byes, morphs into an eagle, and flies out of his open window, out of his room, out of his home.

Out into the black, unforgiving night.