Sasuke awoke tangled and disorientated in an unfamiliar bed, it took a moment for him to realise where he was. He blinked stupidly at the alarm clock on the white bedside table next to him, it was four in the morning, still dark out. Sasuke shifted slightly to glance behind him at the woman lying next to him, her red hair splayed messily against the pillow. For a moment he lay there, watching the slow rise and fall of her chest, Sasuke resisted the urge to stay in the bed, it was warm and cozy but he didn't belong there. Pushing himself up into a sitting position and swinging his legs off the bed, he squinted around the room looking for his clothes. His head throbbed and he felt like his stomach had shriveled and died, a feeling that was becoming all too common for him. Sasuke held in a groan as he stood, not wanting to wake the red-head. He'd drank far too much last night, he had only been heading out to get a few beers to have at his place, perhaps get some work done but he'd ran straight into Naruto, the encounter had been short but it left him reeling. He felt like he couldn't breathe and had chosen to go to one of his local haunts for a strong drink to calm his nerves. One drink had turned into two and two in four, he was well past the point of drunk when she'd walked in, a mane of red hair, clad in a tight green dress that emphasised the way her hips swayed when she walked. She ignored everyone, not even buying a drink, heading straight for him. No words were exchanged as they left together, this wasn't the first time they'd done this. They went gone back to hers, they always did. She lived in a large apartment in one of the nicest areas in town. They'd been meeting like this a couple of times a week for a few was no relationship between them, it was simple sex, hot and lustful. She was married, but they'd never spoken about it. Sasuke had seen the pictures of them together throughout the apartment, but he didn't really care, she was a warm body to comfort him for a few hours.
Sasuke slid himself out of bed to stand on a white shag rug, it felt soft and warming under his toes, he began to dress quietly. He'd barely pulled his jeans on when the room was suddenly flooded with light, leaving him squinting as his vision adjusted. The redhead sat up in the bed the sheets pooling at her waist revealing bare breasts.
"You look terrible" she said, commenting matter of factly. "you're leaving?"
"Yeah" he replied, his voice a dry rasp.
"Probably for the best" she replied as she gracefully slid out of bed completely naked and unabashed as she walked from the room. Sasuke could still hear her voice as she carried on speaking. "My husband is back this afternoon, and it would do you no good if he finds you here."
Sasuke said nothing, that was the first she'd ever mentioned her husband, he just continued to dress and collect his things, he was surprised, however, when she walked back into the room carrying a glass of water and two aspirin.
"One for the road?" she asked, offering him the water and aspirin, which he gratefully took, thanking her, he took the aspirin and downed the water.
Sasuke left her apartment and began the slow trudge home, the cold air helped to clear his head, he wished he'd told her that this would be the last time, that he was going to sort out his life and quit drinking, but he hadn't because he knew it wouldn't have been true.
Sasuke knew better than anyone that his life was spiraling out of control, he was steadily developing a drinking problem, he was smoking more than he ever had, putting his job at risk and he was sure he'd pushed away any friends he'd had. However Sasuke didn't care, he was content to drink and sleep around because for a short while they filled the void inside him.
It took Sasuke nearly an hour to get home, he'd stop at a 24hr fast food joint, buying a large burger and chips, he wolfed this down as he walked, it made him feel considerably better. He hadn't realised how hungry he was and he couldn't remember what he'd eaten yesterday, if anything. Reaching his apartment, he walked straight in, not even bothering to undress before falling into bed, sleep consuming him immediately.
Naruto sat nervously on a bench, sipping a take-away coffee, across from Sasuke's apartment. It was still early morning, about 10 o clock. The flat block opposite was surrounded by buildings of similar style, either residential or office with small shops and restaurants nestled in between. Sasukes flat block was of a pleasant red brickwork. Each flat appeared to have its own separate balcony. Naruto had spent a great deal of time, sat on this bench in the chilly morning studying them, curious as to which one might be Sasuke's. They each showed a tiny glimpse into the life of the inhabitants of each flat, some covered in drying washing or potted plants, others had a small table and chairs or were simply empty.
Naruto imagined it might be a nice place to sit and eat a meal on a Summer's evening.
Naruto downed the rest of his now completely cold coffee, he'd picked up two take away coffees on his way here, one for Sasuke, it'd seemed like a nice gesture at the time, but now seemed foolish, he couldn't even remember if Sasuke liked coffee, let alone how he liked it. Not to mention that it was almost stone cold now. Naruto stared at it sadly, what was he doing here? He couldn't even bring Sasuke a simple cup of coffee, how the hell was he going to help him? He wasn't sure that Sasuke would let him in, least of all have a conversation with him. But he knew he would never find out sitting on this cold bench. Resigning himself to the job at hand, Naruto crossed the busy road, throwing the coffee cups in a bin on his way.
Pulling together his remaining determination, he strolled towards the flat block, checking his phone for the hundredth time to make sure he definitely had the right address. The building was 6 floors high with underground parking, Naruto wondered briefly if Sasuke drove, he'd never learnt himself. Naruto slowed as he approached the main entrance, he could see the large silver call panel but he'd already decided that it would be easier if he could go straight up and avoid an awkward conversation over the intercom with Sasuke. Not to mention it gave him less opportunity to ignore Naruto. his did pose a problem for Naruto getting into the flat block in the first place, he was just contemplating buzzing one of Sasuke's neighbors in hopes they might just let him in without hastle. Just as Naruto reached for the intercom next to the main entrance, an older overweight man stepped out, coffee flask in one hand, briefcase in another, his mobile phone held between his shoulder and ear. He paid Naruto no attention, who jumped at the opportunity to step inside the lobby before the heavy-set white door slammed shut.
The lobby was small and tidy, a long table to one side with various leaflets and junk mail scattered on it. Straight ahead of Naruto was a doorway to the stairwell and adjacent to that were lift doors. Naruto knew Sasuke was in flat 20 but had no idea what floor that was on. Opting for the lift, he pushed the button for the second floor. Beginning to feel sick with nerves, he took steadying breaths as he walked along the dark blue carpet. About halfway through that floor, it became quite apparent that he needed the floor above, spinning on his heels he returned to the lift, heading up one more floor, stepping out on to blue carpet, again, it was identical to the floor below. Each door was white with silver numbers neatly screwed on. Naruto walked slowly, aware that he felt like he may have left his stomach behind in the lift, the door numbers slowly counting him down to the number 20. It felt like an age before Naruto stood in front of Sasuke's door. The overhead light glinting off the metallica number. Naruto stood there a while, hands rammed into his jean pockets. Sighing heavily, 'I can't do this' he thought. What if Sasuke still hated him? What if he was glad he'd left? What if Naruto just made things worse. 'No,' he thought to himself 'This is a bad idea'. Abruptly, he turned around, heading straight back toward the lift, telling himself that he would come back another day when he knew what he was going to say and do. 'Maybe calling Sasuke wasn't such a bad idea?' Naruto thought as he re-entered the lobby, heading straight towards the exit, looking forward to breathing a little easier and a day spent at home doing nothing. A small voice in the back of his head, halted him, telling him if he left now, it would be a damn sight harder to do this again. Naruto stopped, rooted to the spot, standing alone in the lobby, biting his bottom lip. Naruto stood there, pondering his options, he'd never felt this conflicted. Well, not since the last time he'd left Sasuke.
"Ah, Fuck!" Naruto said out loud.
Turning around in one swift movement he headed straight for the staircase taking the steps two at a time back up to the third floor, he took quick strides along the corridor and as soon as he reached the door he knocked on it loudly before he could change his mind again. Naruto stood there waiting impatiently, his heart hammering loudly in his chest, ears straining, he suddenly felt very self conscious about what he was wearing, dark blue jeans, a grey jumper and white leather jacket, he fidgeted with his clothes, trying to smooth them out. Naruto was beginning to wonder if he should knock again when he heard a key turning in the lock. His stomach clenched and his mouth went dry as the door swung open.
Sasuke hadn't slept well since he'd got back in, he'd been too warm with his jeans and hoody still on but too tired to take them off. He'd given up on sleep about an hour ago, and was just sat in bed browsing the net on his phone and drawing slowly on a cigarette. When the knock at his door came, he didn't immediately get up but curiosity got the better of him. Stubbing his cigarette out on the ashtray next to him, he walked out of his bedroom and through the living room to the front door. Grabbing the keys off the side, he unlocked it, Sasuke wasn't really thinking when he swung the door open, expecting the postman or a neighbor. To find himself staring at Naruto was like a punch in the gut, all the air left his lungs. The other man stood on his doorstep wearing an uncomfortable smile and looking at Sasuke with concern, which confused Sasuke for a moment before he remembered last night, he figured he must look like he'd been hit by a freight train. Naruto lifted his right hand up to scratch the back of his head in a nervous gesture. It did funny things to Sasuke, the gesture was all too familiar to him, but the man doing it was no longer the person Sasuke had grown up with. Where had the uncoordinated, scrawny kid gone? The teenager he went to school with, who he talked into trying dangerous looking rope swings or buying beer without I.D. Was it really that long ago?
"Hey" Naruto said, his voice sounding exactly as Sasuke remembered it.
"Uh, Hi" Sasuke replied somewhat automatically, unsure what else to say or where this was going, he had a feeling of dread that he couldn't shake, this was not going to go well. He also felt very self conscious about how he looked. Naruto was all dark jeans and white leather, a look that complimented him well, whereas Sasuke hadn't showered in a couple of days, he was still in the clothes from the night before and he was nursing a killer hangover.
An awkward silence began to stretch out before them, both men unsure of the other. It reached the point where Naruto started rocking from heel to ball of his foot and swang his arms stupidly. Sasuke sighed, Naruto was obviously here for a reason and it would probably be better to get it over with.
"Do you want to come in?" Sasuke asked, their eyes meeting, Sasuke's like an endless darkness while Naruto's reflected a summer's sky, warm and welcoming. Naruto grinned and nodded. Sasuke somewhat reluctantly stepped out the way glancing around his flat and cursing himself for not cleaning it. The hallway alone was full of crates and boxes, let alone the rest of the flat, he glanced back at Naruto who gave him an encouraging smile despite the obvious nervous look on his face.
Naruto crossed the threshold, Sasuke slowly closing the door behind him, filled with dread. They both stood in the hallway, it was dimly lit as there was no direct sunlight into this room. Sasuke felt small and insignificant stood here with Naruto, despite both men being of similar height and build.
Naruto took little notice of the cluttered hallway, which Sasuke was grateful for, he led the way into his living room. Naruto followed, glancing around as he did. It was well lit, with dark wooden flooring and pale walls. All the furniture matched, a large 3 seater and 2 seater sofa dominating the room, a cream rug nestled between them. The room seemed well thought out, it sort of reminded Naruto of Sai's apartment. Despite the stylish furnishings, the room was untidier than Naruto would of expected from Sasuke and was also cluttered like the hallway with mostly large crates and a few boxes. Naruto didn't mind, he'd never been a particularly tidy or organised person.
Sasuke watched Naruto looking around his apartment, inside he was cringing, reprimanding himself for letting it get into his state.
"Sorry about the mess" Sasuke mumbled, not meeting Naruto's eyes.
"Its fine, Sasuke" Naruto replied quickly. "Makes me feel at home" Naruto joked, with a nervous laugh.
Sasuke said nothing for a moment, the awkwardness swirling around them once more.
Unprompted, Sasuke added "It's mostly Itachi's stuff" gesturing to the large crates and boxes. "I haven't got round to sorting it out yet." he said, waiting for the other's reaction.
"Oh" was all Naruto to said for a moment before continuing, "I'm so sorry about Itachi, Sasuke, its gotta suck" the earnest emotion in Naruto's voice was as clear as bell. "I was going to send a card, even went out and bought one, I just didn't know what to write. I even considered coming back for the funeral, but with everything… " Naruto trailed off lamely. It all seemed so stupid now, this man had been his friend for years and Naruto had been too afraid to just send a card, instead he'd just abandoned him all over again. Naruto hung his head, choosing to stare at his feet. Sasuke stood there mouth hanging open, staring at the top of his blonde head.
"Do you want a drink?" Sasuke asked, more so to break the silence than anything.
Naruto's head shot up in surprise, "yes please, whatever you're having." He added before Sasuke could ask.
Sasuke nodded, and walked back out to the kitchen. Naruto stood, rooted to the spot and pleasantly surprised, he thought Sasuke was going to kick him out any minute, offering him a drink surely meant he could stay, for a while at least.
Naruto considered plonking himself on the sofa but noticed the balcony door, going over to it he tried it and found it unlocked, sliding the door open he stepped out into the chilly morning. The view was impressive, staring out across buildings and shops, you could just make out the harbour on a clear day like this. Naruto sat down on one of the small chairs situated either side of a small circular table, taking a moment to reflect, he was here in England, in Sasuke's flat, talking to him, 'well sort of'. Two weeks ago it seemed like an unrealistic goal, but now it seemed childish that he hadn't done it sooner. Perhaps Sasuke had forgiven him for what had happened between them, it was an idea that made Naruto's stomach flutter. Naruto's thoughts were disturbed as Sasuke walked out on to the balcony carrying two steaming cups.
"Coffee" he informed Naruto, who'd raised an eyebrow in question. "But I didn't have any milk or sugar so its black, hope thats ok?"
Naruto cringed inwardly, he could live without the milk, but hated unsweetened coffee.
"Yeah fine" he responded, not wanting to make a fuss.
Sasuke placed one cup in front of Naruto but instead of sitting opposite him he choose to lean against the white balcony railing. Putting his own cup down, he dug his hands into his hoodie pocket pulling out a packet of cigarettes and a zippo lighter. Lighting up Sasuke took a long draw releasing the smoke, slowly. Naruto stared slightly mesmerized by the act.
"You smoke?" Naruto asked and then felt stupid for asking such an obvious question, he expected a sarcastic comment, from Sasuke but he just nodded and continued to take slow draws on his cigarette followed by sips of coffee, Naruto was sure he could see Sasuke physically relaxing. Sasuke glanced at him and sighed.
"I started smoking at work, socially on my lunch break that sort of thing. At first it was a tool, everyone was doing it and it was a good way to causally associate with senior members of staff, or pick up information on clients, although I smoke a lot more now, guess thats why you shouldn't start in the first place sasuke said, shrugging.
"So where do you work?" Asked Naruto, Sakura had shared her concerns about Sasuke losing his job, but they'd never really spoken about what he did.
"I work for an accounting firm called Ultra"
"Oh yeah? How's that going?" Naruto asked trying to sound casual but he was sure Sasuke saw right through it.
Sasuke gave him a sidelong glance, before coming to join him at the table. "It's going ok, I am working from home a lot at the moment"
"You can do that?" Naruto asked, surprised.
"Yeah, just maybe not as often as I am, however I landed two big clients earlier this year and for the last couple of years or so, I have been doing 80-90 hour weeks, I guess they think I've just burnt myself out, I don't know, perhaps I have?" Sasuke finished with a shrug.
"What about you?" Sasuke asked, a pique of curiosity in his voice.
Naruto, grateful that the conversation was still flowing, launched into a brief history of his working life in America, which led to a conversation about what America was like. They steadily began easing into comfortable conversation. Although neither man broached the subject of why they hadn't spoken in years or what was going on in with Sasuke.
After a couple of hours of comfortable small talk, Naruto, beginning to get hungry, discovered that Sasuke's cooking ingredients consisted of only ketchup and salt. Naruto managed to talk Sasuke into agreeing to walk to the local shop with him to do a bit of shopping, then Naruto would cook them both lunch. Even though Naruto had already explained that he was a highly thought-of chef, Sasuke still scoffed at the idea of Naruto cooking anything.
"You managed to burn peas, Naruto" Sasuke pointed out, at the behest of Naruto.
"Sasuke!" Naruto exclaimed "I was like 13, when that happened."
"Yeah but they were really burnt." Sasuke said sadly.
"Shut up Sasuke, you get me in a kitchen now and I'll give your mouth a damn orgasm!"
Sasuke raised an eyebrow, "well... you're not exactly wetting my appetite, Naruto."
Putting his face in his hands Naruto groaned. "lets just go."
Sasuke laughed, the first time since Naruto arrive. Naruto grinned from ear to ear, with a feeling of light-heartedness.
"I'm having a shower, first, idiot"
"Fine, just get on with it, I'm starving!"
After Sasuke got up from the table he grabbed what he needed from the bedroom and headed for the bathroom, telling Naruto he'd be about 15 minutes.
Unsure what to do with himself, Naruto grabbed the two mugs off the table and figuring he'd go wash them up, he took them through to Sasuke's kitchen. He washed his up first, placing it upside down on the draining board, but as he stuck Sasuke's cup under the hot tap, he was hit with the smell of whisky, pulling the cup back out Naruto brought it up to his nose and inhaled deeply, definitely whiskey and coffee, Naruto stared in horror at the cup, 'was Sasuke drunk?' Naruto looked around Sasuke's kitchen as if he was seeing it for the first time, the countertop housed a couple of large bottles of whiskey and one bottle of vodka. Spotting Sasuke's pedal bin he lifted the lid, glancing at the contents. Naruto sighed sadly as he was greeted with a large pile of empty glass bottles. Either Sasuke had recently had a party or he was drinking a lot, Naruto concluded. This all made him feel more guilty for not being here for Sasuke when itachi died. Naruto stood in the kitchen not sure what to do, he figured he'd have to give it some time before he spoke to Sasuke, if the other man was anything like Naruto remembered, accusing him of having a drinking problem was a one way ticket to 'get the hell out of my life' and also, Naruto would never admit it but he wanted to let it slide for the time being, afraid of shattering the fragile friendship they seem to be rebuilding.
Not wanting to be caught going through Sasuke's kitchen, Naruto finished washing up the cup and walked back into the lounge, he spent several minutes walking around the living room, examining paintings on the wall and books on the bookshelf. It was only as he was looking at a photograph on the wall of Sasuke and Itachi from years ago, that he happened to glance down and notice the crate below it was open, at first he was confused, it looked like the crate was empty only containing slats of wood, but on closer inspection, between each slat were paintings. Naruto, realising this, curiously put his hand in and carefully lifted one out. This painting was of a young girl sat in darkness, a red sheet wrapped round her, obscuring her face slightly, wisps of blond hair could been seen poking out from behind, her eyes intense and sad staring back at Naruto. Naruto glanced around at the other crates, are they all full of paintings?
"Itachi was quite the artist" Sasuke said quietly, making Naruto jump. "They are all full of his work" Sasuke added gesturing around the room. "Shall we go?" Sasuke asked, clearly uncomfortable with the subject, cutting off any apology Naruto tried to muster about snooping.
Replacing the painting carefully, Naruto turned to stare at Sasuke. Unexpectedly, his stomach felt as if it did sort of a somersault, he'd forgotten how hot Sasuke was, when Sasuke first opened the door, he hadn't looked so good, but now after a hot shower, hair still wet but combed into shape, clean shaven, wearing dark jeans and a tee with a contrasting but stylish white belt, he looked a lot more how Naruto remembered him, cool and aloof without even trying. Although as Naruto neared him, there was no way for Sasuke to hide that tired gaunt look that haunted him.
"Alright lets go." Naruto replied with a grin.