Chapter 4: The Start
Disclaimer: Not mine.
Jack stared at her, shocked. He felt Daniel stiffen beside him and Janet looked up confused. "Carter?" he asked again, tentatively.
"Who?" she asked frowning at them. Her familiar blue eyes were cold and unyielding. She wasn't faking.
Jack stepped back, but continued to keep his eyes locked to hers.
"Sam?" Daniel asked squinting at her. His voice suggested that he wasn't really expecting a good response.
"Look, I don't know who you are, but I think you should let me go." Sam looked around the room. "Where am I?"
"You're at the SGC, Carter." Jack said looking at her for any signs of recognition.
"The SG…what?" her brow furrowed and fear flitted through her eyes again.
Jack looked at Fraiser. "Doc? What's going on?"
Janet just looked from him to Daniel to Sam. "It looks like amnesia, sir." She spoke with hesitation.
"Amnesia?" Jack looked back at Carter then to Daniel. "That damn thing took her memory?"
Daniel stared at him, mouth hanging slightly open. "I guess." He frowned. "Do you have a name?" he asked Sam who continued to glance between the three of them.
"Sure…" she said looking down. "Sure I do…I just…don't remember." She furrowed her brow and scrubbed a hand over her face. "Look, I can't remember anything, so if you're trying to get information out of me…I think you're out of luck."
Jack raised his eyebrows and his insides twisted. "Your name is Major Samantha Carter."
"Major? What kind of name is that?" she frowned at them. She had no idea what was going on. Her mind was a complete blank. The only thing keeping her in that bed was the overwhelming feeling that these people would not hurt her. They…felt familiar…she just couldn't remember them. And…there something about the way that that man was holding her hand. "Do I know you?" she asked not waiting for the answer to her previous question.
Something flitted through his eyes, but it was gone before she could read it. His voice was heavy when he spoke. "Major is your rank, not your name. You're a member of the United States Air Force." He took a deep breath. "And, yes, you do know us. You know us very well."
Carter shook her head, not understanding anything about 'rank' of 'United States Air Force,' but she knew emotion. There something in the way he said that…
"So…my name is…?" she questioned looking into his brown eyes. Something surged through her when he said it.
"Samantha Carter…but, we'll call you Sam." He said, still very confused.
She narrowed her eyes. "You called me Carter."
"Yeah…that's what I normally call you." He looked around suddenly uncomfortable.
She looked at the man with blue eyes and glasses. "But you called me Sam." She shook her head. "How many names do I have?"
"Just one." The blue eyed man assured her. "We all just have different ways of using it. I call you Sam. So does Janet. Teal'c calls you Major Carter. Jack calls you Carter." He spoke slowly trying not to overwhelm her.
She squeezed her eyes shut. "Janet? Teal'c? Jack? Who-who are you talking about?"
"Us." The woman on the opposite side of her said. "I'm Doctor Janet Fraiser. We're your friends."
"So you're Jack?" Sam questioned the man with brown eyes. He looked startled. "But, I don't call you that…do I?" she asked, correctly reading his expression.
"No…you call me colonel. Or sir." He said not meeting her gaze.
"Sir?" she raised her eyebrows. "Why would I call you that?"
Jack looked at Daniel for help. "Its, uh, it's a term of respect. Jack is your commanding officer."
Sam nodded. "So colonel above major?" she asked, making the connection.
"Right." Daniel confirmed.
"But that's only military terms. You're actually much smarter than I am." His eyes met hers and she frowned.
"Military…you know what? Never mind. I'd really like to go home now." She looked at all of them and frowned when they all looked meaningfully at each other. "I'm…not going anywhere…am I?"
"No." The woman called Janet said apologetically. "I have to run some tests. We have to find out how to get your memory back."
Sam nodded, but gazed at them distrustfully. "If you know me as well as you say you do…I'd really like to know more about…" she paused and smiled humorlessly. "Me."
Janet nodded. "That could help her regain her memory."
"Right." Daniel said. "Jack…you wanna tell her?" Daniel already knew the answer, but he had to ask.
"Yeah." Jack said meeting her eyes. "If that's okay with you?"
She considered him. "Do I trust you?" she knew it was an absurd question and that she couldn't trust anything they told her, but…it would help to know.
Jack's eyes widened, surprised. He didn't know what to say. He knew the answer, of course…he just couldn't bring himself to answer.
"Yes." Daniel jumped in. "Yes, you trust him more than anyone." Jack was surprised at that one too, but didn't let on.
"Okay." She nodded. "I guess it's a start."
"Daniel, tell Teal'c what's going on." Daniel nodded, starting to turn away. "And…contact the Tok'ra. Tell Jacob to get over here." Daniel nodded and left the room.
Janet excused herself as well and hurried out of the room, giving colonel and major their privacy.
"Jacob?" she asked not looking at him.
"Yeah…he's your father." Jack picked up his stool and sat on it, rubbing the back of his neck.
"And…he's a…Tok…ra?" she sounded the word out, rolling it on her tongue.
"Yeah." Jack hesitated, sensing where this was going.
"So, I'm a…?" she frowned.
"No. No, you're not." He spoke more harshly than he intended to. She glanced up at him sharply. Jack sighed. "I'm sorry, it's just…you should really ask him about that."
Sam nodded, sensing his turmoil. "So…colonel…" she rolled that word around too and frowned. "That doesn't feel right." She looked back up at him. "Sir." The word slid off her tongue. "That one's better."
Jack nodded and gave her a tight smile. "That's what you usually call me."
Sam noticed his eyes soften and guilt rushed through her. 'Guilt?' she wondered. 'Why do I feel guilty? Why am I…upset?' Waves of sadness were washing over her. She had a strong sense of nostalgia, but couldn't place it.
The silence between them lengthened and both became uncomfortable. "So…" Jack started when he could no longer stand it. "What do you want to know? And don't say everything, cause…quite frankly Carter…I wouldn't even know where to start." His attempt at lightening the mood just increased her feeling of nostalgia.
"It doesn't matter…just…talk to me." Her eyes met his and he could clearly see the desperation in them. It tore at his heart.
"Okay…the basics then…" he took a deep breath and looked down at his hands, which were twisted in his lap. "We met seven and a half years ago when you were assigned to my team." He expected her to interrupt, but she leaned back onto the pillow and waited for him to continue. "You're a grade-A genius and have saved the world…several times." Her eyebrows shot up when she heard that, but she kept quiet.
He paused deciding if he should explain the stargate to her. "Wow, this is complicated. The person who should be explaining this is you…" he rubbed the back of his neck again and proceeded to inform her, in lamen's terms, about the stargate and the places it takes you. He told her about the Goa'uld, the Tok'ra, the Asgard, and all their other allies. She just stared at him the entire time, but he could practically here her mind whirring. Just like the Carter he knew, she was analyzing him and what he said.
Briefly, he wondered why Daniel hadn't come back yet with Jacob or Teal'c, but came to the conclusion that Daniel was deliberately giving them time. Jack didn't tell her about any of their missions…that would take several weeks. And, hopefully, by then, she'll have her memory back.
An hour later, he finished the reader's digest version of their lives and looked at her. She was staring at the window across from her bed. Jack turned around…there was no one there. "Carter?" she didn't respond automatically. He couldn't blame her…if you don't remember your name, you can't actually respond to it.
"That…is quite…a load." She finished lamely. She had listened intently and even understood some of it, though his description of a wormhole didn't quite make sense to her. She was pretty sure real worms were not involved.
"Well…you would have explained it better." He said as if following her thoughts. He glanced down at the tongue depressor in his hand. He didn't remember picking it up.
"Maybe…before." She shook her head at the absurdity of the situation. "How did I get…amnesia?"
Jack stared at the stick in his hand and shook head slowly. "I don't know. Something…'a red wave'…knocked you out. I wasn't there."
Sam noticed the frustration and regret in his voice when he spoke. "It's not your fault." She said suddenly, sensing it's reality. He snorted mirthlessly and shrugged.
"That's a matter of opinion." He muttered standing and walking aimlessly around the room.
"Sir…I--," she stopped suddenly, pressing her hand to her temple.
"Carter?" Jack turned around and laid a hand on her arm. "Carter? You okay?"
She couldn't hear him. She felt his hand land on her arm, but barely noticed. Images were flashing through her head. Cold. She remembered cold and…ice. Lots of ice. "Antarctica." She muttered. "We were trapped in Antarctica." She tried to say more, but her throat closed.
She felt his hand tighten on her arm. More images bombarded her mind. Red hair…Hathor. Hathor making the colonel a Goa'uld. No…it didn't work. Warm, she felt warm. He was hugging her. Holding onto her. He was shivering and she was shaking with relief…just to know he was alive. She clutched him.
"Hathor." She bit out through clenched teeth.
More pictures and words filled her head. "You—you pulled me out from under the bomb. You pulled me into a corner to save me instead of letting the bomb hit me." She squeezed her eyes shut, her head pounding.
The rush of images stopped as suddenly as they had started. She let out a sigh of relief and collapsed back onto the pillows. She was breathing heavily, like she had just run a mile.
"Carter?" he sounded hesitant. "You back with us?"
"No…sir. I'm sorry." She put her hands over her face and resisted the urge to cry. "I just saw…images. I think Janet was right. Maybe talking to me will help me to…'regain' my memory."
TBC