Chapter 4:

This love is good, this love is bad
This love is alive back from the dead
These hands had to let it go free

And this love came back to me

"I hate to bother you both but my feet really hurt."

"Didn't do much walking where you come from?" Sirius shot back with humor.

Lis stopped walking behind Sirius and lifted one foot to check to see why it was throbbing. Her eyes were rewarded with red welts growing around her ankles where her boots were rubbing into her skin. It appeared that leaving the Pub without proper clothing was finally catching up too Lis and her boots simply weren't made for all the walking she was doing.

Ahead, James seemed unconcerned and was still walking, Sirius had turned slightly just to check on Lis. Once Sirius saw her feet (apparently the welts were large enough to see from far away) he whistled and James came to a stop as Sirius bent down to examine Lis' feet. Lis yelped when he tore off the other boot and the skin that had been sticking to the leather ripped off with it. Some of the blisters had popped and Lis marveled at how she was still walking.

"So are we walking the rest of the way to England?" Lis asked, somewhat cynically.

"No, we'll take a boat to England." Sirius answered, looking up at James who had come over with a concerned frown, "Unless you fancy swimming?"

"I don't know how to swim." Lis winced as she put pressure on her foot.

"It was a joke." Sirius rolled his eyes and g;anded at James, "We would pick the girl with dainty feet."

James smiled at Sirius before observing Lis with eyes that flickered with a slight playfulness, "Who leaves home without socks?"

Lis frowned, not in the mood to play with her aching feet, "I must've forgotten to mention to you that the woman who found me didn't exactly care about my well-being."

Pity entered James' eyes and he almost looked sorry that he'd been mean.

"Here." Sirius turned his back to her, arms out.

"Here, what?" Lis asked, balancing herself on Sirius' shoulder.

"Hop on my back, you numpty."

Lis couldn't see Sirius' face but she had no doubt he'd rolled his eyes. Lis exchanged a glance with James, who shrugged at her, before she put both her hands on Sirius' shoulders. He turned his head to grin wolfishly at her.

"Come along, Princess." He teased, "I don't have all day."

"Princess?" Lis admonished greatly, making sure to roughly cradle her legs around his torso.

Sirius huffed as she settled into his hold, arms draped lazily about his shoulders as he hitched her up his back with his hands.

"Yes." He started walking and James chuckled greatly from behind the pair, "Princess. You. Definitely."

"I'm offended."

"Good," He pinched her knee playfully, "It wasn't an endearing sort of term."

Lis let out a string of words in French that would make any mother she once had roll over in her grave. James let out a laugh that started in his throat and came out as a scratchy and all-together pleasing sound to Lis' ears despite her annoyance.

"You've got to admit," James offered kindly, "Your feet shouldn't blister wafter one day of walking."

"It's been more than one day." Lis pouted, "I left Madame's at least twelves hours before I met you."

"And what made you up and leave so suddenly to find this family of yours?" James asked as Sirius huffed along with Lis on his back.

Lis didn't want to give the boys any more reason to taunt her or tease her again so she remind silent and simply watched the scenery go past as they walked.

At her stubborn silence James pinched her knee and she shot him a glare, "I'm only teasing." he seemed to not like when she was upset with him.

Sirius however, seemed to feed off her annoyance, "Don't let her get to you mate, girls like this starve for attention."

"At least I'm not a certified git." She complained as Sirius carried her along the roadway.

"Oi!" Sirius jumped a bit, causing Lis to squeal and hold onto him tighter, "Remember that I'm the one carrying your sorry arse since your feet are shite, Princess."

"Play nice, Sirius." James seemed to be amused by their arguing, as he exchanged a grin with a disgruntled Lis.

"Shut up, mum." Sirius countered back.

"Are you both brothers?" she asked, seriously, despite knowing they both had different last names.

"As good as." James said some what proudly, like he was happy to have Sirius around.

"Where are they now?" Lis asked, "Your parents?"

James didn't answer, instead Sirius spoke up from behind, a sour tone implicated in his low voice, "They died."

"Oh." Her reply was delicate, as Lis was unable to form words other then those that mirrored her slight surprise.

"It was a long time ago," James offered kindly, as if that made the conversation less intense, "They were very old."

"Kindest people you could meet." Sirius said, "Took me in when I had no place to go as a teenager, raised me like a second son."

"Did Lily know them?" Lis asked, her chin rested atop Sirius' head lightly and her chin lifted her head back as Sirius nodded.

"Lily did know them," James replied, "She was often invited around for tea on Sundays."

Lis sighed as she imagined the red haired beauty laughing with an old man drinking a cup of tea out of the ugliest flowery tea cups. Lis imagined that afternoon tea with Sirius and James must've been a interesting experience. she could imagine them both going out of their way to cause mischief.

The three young adults traveled by foot until they reached the town both boys had been talking about. It took until the sun had disappeared in the distance and stars were littering the sky. Lis was falling asleep; her head rested on James' shoulder (he and Sirius had switched duties about halfway through as Sirius complained Lis was heavier than a horse) when James announced they'd reached their destination.

The building they stood in front of was an old fisherman's house, distinguishable by the half of a rowboat stuck ceremoniously at the front like a sign. A single light shone through the window but it quickly switched off, like the owner didn't want any visitors. Lis felt like the home was very erie.

"Where are we?" Lis shouldn't help wrapping her arms tighter around James' neck and shoulders. If he noticed, he didn't say anything.

Sirius and James ignored her. James nodded to Sirius and looked at the flat while biting his lip before stepping inside the open front door. The inside was just as dingy as the outside. Dust and sand littered the floor, along with newspaper clippings that dated back to three years before.

"Step into the light Wormtail," Sirius commented cheerfully, like he was speaking to an old friend, "It's been six months, you should be jumping into our arms with happiness at the sight of us."

There was scurrying and Lis squinted her eyes, trying to spot the man that the other two did. All of a sudden, like magic, a man came out of the shadows. He was shorter and obviously nervous as he was letting his fingers twist together in a hurried sort of way. James let up on his grip that was keeping Lis on his back so that she slid slowly to the floor. Lis winced slightly as she felt her blistered feet touch the cold stone floor.

Almost as soon as the man realized James and Sirius weren't alone he flinched a bit and stepped back. Lis stepped forward quickly and stuck out her hand kindly, smiling.

"Hi, I'm—"

"Lily?" The man squinted, hands now clenched as his watery eyes took in Lis' skinny form.

Lis was about to correct him when Sirius stepped forward, hugging the man with conviction. The man hugged him back, blue eyes still staring at Lis like she was a ghost. Sirius was whispering urgently into the mans ear. The man pulled back in shock at whatever Sirius was saying, shaking his head.

"Padfoot," the man looked more like a boy now as Lis' eyes adjusted to the light, "I can't help you."

"Come on Peter." Sirius said angrily, "It's because we were trying to help you that we got ourselves into this mess."

"The only ferry that leaves is tomorrow morning and I can't get an owl to the Ministry check point that fast." The man complained, "It'd take some serious talent to get proper passports that fast."

"What mess?" Lis spoke up, frowning, "And why do we need passports?"

Sirius shushed her by raising his hand in her direction while he continued to try and talk the man named Peter to help them in their task, "Come on Wormtail, you can get us onto one of those ships."

"Why don't we just buy tickets?" Lis argued quickly, sensing that this man seemed hesitant to help James and Sirius.

"Don't worry about these things, Princess." Sirius silenced her with a look, or tried too because Lis just huffed and shot him a rude hand gesture before continuing to argue.

"Your friend doesn't want to help, don't make him." Lis snapped.

James seems to be taking in the entire ordeal with amusement, "Peter would you mind telling Lily why you don't want to help us?"

Peter turned his eyes to Lis, "Are you really Lily Evans?" he asked suspiciously, "I have it from very good sources that she was killed by a Death Eater sympathizer named Alexis DeJesus."

James bristled at the name and asked quickly, "Heard anything else about that bitch while you were at it?" Lis flinched back a bit, and stared at James in surprise from his harsh words. She'd never seen him so vicious, it was a trait she'd reserved only for Sirius.

Peter shrugged, seeming a bit more relaxed like James' anger had set things right, "Well, just that she's still trying to recruit wizards on this side of the water to join You-Know-Who's cause."

"Nothing new then." James sighed and strung his fingers through his hair in frustration before glancing at Lis again, "She's got some bad blisters from walking and I'm pretty sure my rib is broken from jumping off a train—" at Peter's odd look James smirked, "Long story, anyways, is there a place we can sit her down?"

Peter nodded, "There's a small inn not too far from here, the old woman who owns it adores me."

"Every old woman adores you," Sirius snorted, as if sharing a private joke, "Everyone thinks your so innocent and trustworthy."

James snorted as he lifted a very confused Lis' arms around his shoulders, "farthest thing from the truth."

The boys continued bickering and it was like they'd forgotten Lis was even there. Despite the tensions when they'd first arrived, Peter seemed to be opening up and was sneaking glances at Lis every so often when the conversation died down. They arrived at a small inn that was covered in signs for a farmers market in the morning. The windows were fogged and inside Lis could hear laughter and see the silhouettes of bodies moving around. As they followed Peter through the doorway Lis whispered into James' ear.

"What's happening? Who is he? Does he know Dumbledore?"

James whispered back, "He works in the shipyards here…he's quite the little sneak and can get us onboard a ship that's safe to get us to Dumbledore."

"Can we trust him?"

"I trust him with my life." He squeezed her hand, "He was one of my best friends in school."

Lis couldn't help but feel like Sirius and James weren't telling her the entire story and it worried her.

Peter led them to a table in the back of the bar and quickly went to round up drinks for everyone. Sirius immediately pulled out his wand and had James sit Lis down so he could help heal her blistered feet. Lis loved watching magic be preformed, she examined the precise way Sirius waved his wand and she memorized each slight movement of his mouth as he whispered incantations. Inside her head, she felt like she knew some of the spells.

"Why doesn't Peter want to help?" Lis asked Sirius, who seemed more inclined to speak when he was busy fixing her feet.

"Even the bravest people get scared." Sirius answered back, grey eyes looking up at her through his hair, "The last time Peter helped us, things didn't go as planned."

"Faire n'importe quel de vous enfants comme quelque soupe?" The bar keeper asked Lis as she passed, observing Lis' blistered feet with a clucking tongue and glaring at Sirius, like it was his fault.

Lis smiled kindly at the old woman, "Oui plaire et merci."

"You'll have to perform magic to prove you're a witch once we get back to England." Sirius continued as he stood up and put his wand in his pocket. He seemed nervous now, almost like he didn't know what to say to her, "I could help you learn more than a few simply disarming spells?"

"She can do magic?" Peter looked up from the other end of the table, surprised out of his conversation with James.

"Watched her take down a death eater, myself." Sirius nodded, sitting down beside Lis and eating some of the bread the old barmaid had given them (after winking kindly at Peter).

Lis had eagerly sat up at Sirius' offer, "I'd love to learn magic."

"How do you even know she took down a fully trained death eater, if she doesn't even know simple healing spells?" Peter said, scathingly. James shot the stout wizard a warning look.

Sirius waved Peter's comment off, "Stop being negative, Wormtail, honestly."

"I think you both are wasting your time." Peter argued, "Sirius you shouldn't be encouraging this girl to resurrect someone we all cared about…and James you shouldn't be…" he paused as if thinking better of his words and then more solomly he spoke, "it's just not her."

Lis looked at James and saw he was red with what appeared to be anger. He crunched his fists together and refused to look at Peter for a few minutes, as if childishly trying to ignore him. Lis brushed her hair back and awkwardly sat there as the bar woman brought out soup for all of them. Finally, after minutes of silence, she mustered up the courage to speak her mind.

"If I am definitely not Lily," she chose her words carefully, "Then there is no reason to continue with this trip."

Sirius pouted, "Now, there's no reason to give up so easily." He argued, "I believe you are Lily. You have an uncanny resemblance and—"

"She's French." Peter said flatly, "Our Lily was from Cokeworth."

Lis frowned and James spoke up, "She speaks French because she had too but you can hear that she also speaks fluent English."

Peter sighed and stared at Lis before seemingly giving in, "Fine," he said defeatedly, "I'll sneak you lot onto the half past seven ferry."

Sirius grinned and clapped Lis on the back, "See, Lis?" he said with a flair of his hands, "You'll be with your family soon enough."

James shook his head before standing up and offering his arm to Lis, "Come on Princess, early morning." He said kindly.

"Don't you start with the Princess thing too," she told him playfully as she accepted his hand, "I saved your life on that train, remember? You have to be nice to me."

"I remember." he smiled kindly, hazel eyes sparkling.

"Go over a bit of magic with her!" Sirius shouted after them, "McGonagall will likely test her."

"Who is McGonagall?" Lis asked, leaning into his arm as he guided them through the inn to the bedroom they had been given for the night.

"Dumbledore's deputy headmistress." James replied softly.

I thought we were going to see Dumbledore himself?" Lis let go of his arm and scrutinized him, "James?"

She hadn't known James very long but she could tell by his shifty eyes and his hands shifting through his hair that he was uncomfortable. He looked like he didn't want to have the conversation with her. Lis put her hands on her hips and stepped towards him, he stepped back quickly.

"Well," His last syllable was drawn out, "Nobody gets near Dumbledore without finding him first and he's rather hard to track down—McGonagall would tell us where he is once she saw we have Lily."

"What?" anger flared up inside Lis and her hand instinctively went and grabbed Lily Evans' wand so that she could point it threatening at him despite her lack of knowledge of spellwork, "No, no, no, no! No one ever told me I had to prove I was Lily Evans!"

James looked like he was now wishing they'd never let Lis near a wand let alone given her one. He used his finger to pull the wand down and away from his face. She couldn't help but snort as he bit his lip, caught in his own lie. This was what both boys had been keeping from her-the fact that she'd somehow have to prove that she was someone she actually wasn't.

"Lis look," he tried to explain quickly, obviously not wanting her to get too angry.

"Show up, sure…look nice…fine!" she muttered angrily, way past listening to him, "But you want me to lie?!"

She turned away from James and crossed her arms, the wand feeling incredibly heavy in her fingers now that she knew they wanted her to lie with it. His hand grasped her shoulder and she winced, despite it's light pressure.

James spoke, "You don't know it's a lie." And then softer, "What if it's true?"

Lis looked over her shoulder and saw he was staring intently at her, willing her to not run. his intensity frightened her sometimes. There was something in his eyes that dared her to run but something in his face that begged her to stay.

"bonne nuit." She told him coldly before trying to escape down the hallway from where they had came.

What on earth had she gotten herself into? She didn't have proof she was Lily Evans more than James or Sirius. They were running on looks alone. Something was being left out of my knowledge, something important. It was Like Sirius wanted Lis to be Lily in order to fix something and it was like James…every time James looked at her it was like he was looking at a ghost.

Lis didn't want to be a ghost.

She walked back into the dining area where Sirius and Peter were playing a game of what appeared to be chess. When Sirius saw her heading for the door he stood up quickly and raced twords her before she could make it to the street.

"I'm done." she snarled, "I'm not going to pretend."

"Okay, so there's one more stop on the road to finding out who your family is." Sirius muttered quickly, "I just thought this would be something you had to see through to the end no matter what."

"Just look at me Sirius," she said angrily, "Everyone says she's dead, your friend certainly does. And James…James! He thinks that she's dead. I mean, he looks at me like I'm a ghost!"

"He just doesn't know what to say!" Sirius argued and for once in his life he looked like he was being honest.

Lis huffed and looked away from him, her skin prickling with anger. Peter had gotten up from the table and was slowly inching his way over to their argument.

Lis, angrred with Sirius' persistence said harshly, "I'm not going to lie and get her family's hopes up—only to find out later I'm a con."

"You are not a fraud." Sirius argued, grasping her wrist as she flung open the door.

"Then who am I?" she huffed before marching out into the cold, alone.

She marched down the road, anger coursing through her veins. Sirius was shouting after her, but he was shouting for Lily…not Lis. Tears stung at her eyes and she ran, letting her recently healed feet pound at the gravel. What felt like ages later, she reached a beach, where waves were gently lapped along the edge of the pebbled shore. Someone walked up behind her and she sniffed, rubbing her eyes with her sleeves quickly, exspecting Sirius.

Instead, Peter fell into step beside her, kicking a small rock out of his way. Lis remained quiet and stared at the waves that gently touched the edge of her slippers, causing water to enter her shoe. Sometimes the waves would halt and she could see her reflection in it. She stared at the reflection searching for a sign of the girl she'd seen in the photograph—the girl so alive she seemed to glow off the paper.

"What do you see?" Peter asked softly, when he noticed her leaning towards the water more and more.

Lis snorted, "I see no one, just a girl with no past." she heaved a sigh, trying not to cry and she glanced sideways at the boy, "And no future."

Peter shook his head, "You want to know what I see?"

She turned shyly to see he was offering her his arm, she took it carefully as he explained, "The moment you walked into my home you offered me kindness, a kindness only few possess. Sirius says you have a sharp tongue with a strong mind…and James…he clearly admires your passion and fire."

She blushed lightly at his comment about James, "He cared about Lily Evans a lot didn't he?"

"More than you could even understand." Peter agreed, "more than any of us put together."

Lis swallowed, thinking of James' soft smiles and his playful manner. She had a feeling Peter was implying that James Potter had loved Lily Evans. Before she could ask Peter for a confirmation, Sirius appeared with a wide grin and Lis groaned. Peter chuckled and squeezed her arm reassuringly.

"He means well," he told Lis as Sirius swept forward with the air of a king who was loved by his nobles. James was not too far behind, looking nervous again as he surveyed Lis with cautious eyes.

"So," Sirius said, "Are you ready to become Lily Evans?"

Before Lis could snap, James rushed forward and said, "There is nothing left for you in France, I can see it on your face—you want to go to England."

Lis bit her lip and reached up to feel for her necklace under her clothes. She had a family and it wasn't impossible that Lily Evans could somehow be Lis. Merlin knew if Lily Evans had enemies maybe they had found some way to make Lily forget who she was. Maybe fate had reunited her with the boys—to bring her home.

She closed her eyes and nodded softly, turning to look at James.

"Okay," she said kindly, "Start telling me everything you know about me."

Lis allowed James to walk her back to the inn while Peter and Sirius followed not to far behind. James and Lis were sharing a room, whilst Sirius and Peter shared one next door. Lis was relieved she had the quieter of the two boys but James also made her nervous. It seemed like sometimes he was angry with her and then other times he treated her like an wounded animal he was scared would run away before he could help it.

As Lis settled into the bed (James had offered fairly quickly to sleep on the small couch) he spoke to her softly, telling her things about Lily Evans.

He was slowly opening up as he spoke to her from under his blankets, "you would make faces at Mary MacDonald and terrorize old Professor Binns." He laughed out loud, a pleasant sound that warmed Lis straight down to her toes, "I loved watching you—" then he realized he said too much and he blushed deep scarlet, going back inside his shell.

Lis sat forward a bit, smiling at him. He was very sweet, despite his shortcomings of an obvious temper and a knack for teasing. It was like he tried to act cool, even though he was simply very dorky—in his own way. James ruffled his hair and she caught the glint of something on his finger. A ring was glowing in the firelight, a ring she hadn't noticed before.

It was plain, gold, and for some reason Lis thought it established something important.

"What's that?" She asked him, pointing as his hand fell back to his side.

He lifted his hand in confusion nd then spotted the ring. The red stain drained from his face almost immediately, "It's a ring." He said with a tone of finality.

"Are you married?" she asked, not knowing why she was suddenly so interested.

James snorted, obviously bemused, "No," He took off his glasses and turned over on the couch so he wasn't facing her, "I'm not exactly the type of bloke any self respecting girl brings home to meet her parents."

"It was from Lily," she said softly, declaring her knowledge of the subject.

"Goodnight, Lis."

Grumbling about James being secretive and a few 'it's just a ring's later, Lis had closed her eyes and fallen asleep.

Lily blinked and grinned at James as he buried his fingers into her hair on either side of her face.

"You love me," he announced fiercely, cocking an eyebrow when she giggled, "Don't believe me?"

Lily pushed her hands against his chest as he leaned closer, "it's just a ring." She laughed gaily, "I saw it in the shop and thought you might like a gift from me for your birthday."

"Just a ring!" he scoffed, as his leaning pushed them back against the stone walls of the castle, "It's a token of your affection!" he leaned his forehead up against hers with a wicked grin, "You love me."

She muttered with a playful smirk as he pecked the side of her lips impatiently, "Love is a very strong word."

"Oh please, Evans." He snorted, catching her mouth with his against and using his hands to angle her mouth perfectly against his own.

Lily murmured happily as his hands left her face and their fingers intertwined, the golden ring on his finger brushing against her skin as a reminder of their love for one another.

Lis woke up without remembering any of her dreams, but she couldn't help the small smile that appeared on her face each time she spotted the ring on James' hand, especially when he would nervously twirl it.

next time:

"You think she's dead?"

Lupin frowned deeply and looked at Lis, "Why else wouldn't she have come back to us?"

Thank you for patiently waiting for this chapter! Both my jobs have been working me to the bone, I've hardly had time to proof-read. I LOVE all my reviews and mentions on tumblr! Please keep it up! They inspire me!

xxx

petals