PREVIOUSLY ON: MERLIN

You lie to everyone, even yourself. A small voice accused in the back her mind. Gaius' words echoed in her head.

What more do you want?

EPISODE TWO

THE MENDING OF SOULS

PART ONE OF TWO

PART 2

Sometimes these cuts are so much deeper than they seem.

"I've brought you breakfast." Guinevere approached the cell doors. Morgana was lying in her cot; her eyes opened and her body stilled. This cell had been her home for a week now. Guinevere opened the door and set the tray down. Morgana inhaled the smell of crisp bacon and turned her head to look at the colourful food arrangement.

"You should eat," Guinevere suggested in a calm voice as she would address the Lady Morgana.

"I don't have to listen to you," Morgana retorted, looking away.

Guinevere slowly approached her gingerly as she knew that Morgana was very fragile right now. She touched Morgana's shoulder and saw her shudder. She moved her hand to her back and tried to make her sit up. "Come on Morgana."

The soldier sliced open the back of her dress with a knife. She shivered in the cold air. A whip slashed against her back and blood splattered on the pure white snow.

Morgana's eyes flashed and she ripped her body away, shoving Guinevere to the floor.

Guinevere looked up at her former friend, shaking her head. "What did they do to you?"

Morgana looked down at the Queen. She should be laughing at the sight of Guinevere at her feet, instead she only felt sick. It was a feeling that had occurred too many times in the past days leading up her unexpected rescue. "I think I'm going to be sick," she murmured, clutching her stomach.

Guinevere stood and moved the bucket closer to Morgana, just in case. "I'm going to take you to Gaius. You must learn to walk again." She looked at Morgana in concern. "Please sit up."

I may as well use their hospitality. Morgana thought and slowly pulled herself up. She was weak, she would have to endure Guinevere and Arthur if she was to recover. With some pressuring from Guinevere, Morgana choked down all the food on the plate. And she had to admit, it was good. It was a million times better than the gruel that they had thrown down at her in the pit.

"Thank you," Morgana said, gulping down a piece of sausage. The words felt strange on her tongue.

"Are you ready to try walk?" Guinevere asked, smiling softly to herself at her words.

"I'll try."

Guinevere slowly helped Morgana stand. She felt weak and she hated every moment of it. How had she gone from being Queen of Camelot to a woman unable to walk alone? She would reverse this, she would be queen again. She raised her leg to take a step but collapsed into Guinevere's arms.

"You are so skinny," Guinevere muttered. Morgana stepped forward again and made it two steps before falling back. "You can do it."

Her concern was infectious. Morgana steeled herself, she was Morgana Pendragon, High Priestess of the Old Religion. One step, two steps. Slowly but steadily she managed to walk out of her cell. She could feel her body remembering the motions but her legs were still wobbly from their lack of use.

She looked around castle as she walked (hobbled), remembering how her and Arthur had loved to play hide and seek. As she passed by each pillar and each piece of artwork, she began to feel more at home. She has a story for every pillar or statue. Arthur nearly knocked the griffon statue down, running after Morgana. They pass the alcove that Morgana had pulled Merlin into. A smirk touched lips as she remembered the shocked look on his face.

She talked to Guinevere about trivial matters. How could she had tried to kill this compassionate woman? With a little (a lot) of help from Guinevere, and a lot of stops between, she made it to Gaius' chambers huffing in effort.

"Hello My Lady." Gaius nodded towards her as she entered his chambers. It looked the same as always, slightly chaotic but organized enough to locate where everything was. Bottles and books lined the shelves and the smell of herbs wafted in her nose. The stairs leading up to Merlin's room were surrounded by a mess of clothes and rags.

"Gaius," Morgana replied curtly.

"Sit down." Gaius pushed aside books to make room for Morgana on a bench. "How are you feeling?"

Morgana lowered herself on the bench. "Fine."

"Do you want anything to eat?" Guinevere asked.

"I'm fine." That was a lie, she had a sudden craving for apples…

"Have you been feeling any different?"

"She said she felt sick this morning," Guinevere offered, looking at Morgana. Gaius gave her another check up. "Would you like a bath?"

"Yes," Morgana said almost a bit too excitedly. She hadn't had a bath in three years. Not a proper one, and never with any privacy. She closed her eyes slightly as she remembered the steamy baths she used have as Uther's ward.

"I will summon a servant," Guinevere told her and exited the room to look for a servant.

"You can bathe in Merlin's room." Gaius gestured to the half cracked open door. "I"ll just go check if it's not a pig sty like it is normally." He gave her a slight smile.

Morgana sat on the bench knowing she was too weak to move by herself yet, let alone run away. However, she was very, very excited about a bath. Her entire existence had been miserable for the past three years. Here, at least, she felt like she mattered even if she was under the care of her treacherous brother and his wife.

This room held many memories, some more miserable than others. It was here that Merlin and Morgana had first teamed up to help save Camelot from the Avanc. It was here that Guinevere had kissed Merlin when he came back from the dead. And it was here that Morgana had begged for Merlin's help and support when she found out she had magic.

Ten minutes later, Guinevere and two male servant entered carrying a basin of steaming water and Gaius came out of Merlin's room.

"You can put that up there." Gaius pointed to Merlin's room as the two servant struggled to carry up the basin. Morgana hobbled up the stairs with Guinevere at her side as the servants lowered the basin, they shot her disdainful looks as they bowed to their queen.

"Do you need any help?" Guinevere inquired, already knowing the answer.

"No," Morgana replied, a grin on her face as she faced the bath. Guinevere smiled and left the room, shutting it lightly. The room was occupied by a single bed that was messily made. A cupboard stood erect beside the door. The window was open to let in the scent of Camelot. A heap of clothes were thrown to one corner of the room, a neckerchief on top. A towel sat neatly folded atop the striped sheets and a bar of soap rested by the tub. The scent of the room smelled like fresh rain mixed with the smell of the city and herbs.

Morgana slowly peeled the dress from her body. She looked at her arms, littered with cuts. Her thighs were mottled purple and black and her skin hung from her bones. Her stomach that had been curved inward from hunger was now starting to bulge forward. She lowered her body into the warm water and let out a soft moan. She missed this.

Gaius gave Guinevere the infamous eyebrow. "Well…"

"How is she?"

"She's recovering from a terrible ordeal. She has bruises and scars everywhere." Gaius explained, crossing his arms. "She's been whipped and beaten harshly. And…"

"What?" Guinevere asked, curiously.

"She's been raped," Gaius told her looking sorrowful.

"She's been…"

"Yes…"

"How can you tell?" Guinevere demanded.

"Well for one, you can tell she fringes away from any contact. Sarrum and his men have a bit of a reputation for being very cruel and... taking away a woman's virginity is quite horrific. And...well…"

"What?"

"She's pregnant...I think," Gaius said quickly. Guinevere stared at him with her mouth agape.

"Your husband is a prat!" Merlin strode through the doors with straw sticking out of his dark hair. His shirt was dirty and crumpled. "How can you stand him?" Merlin strode right pass them, obviously too angry notice their shocked expressions. He opened the door to his room before either Guinevere or Gaius could process anything, and walked in on a naked Morgana.

"What. The. Hell?!" Morgana screeched covering her breasts with her hands, sinking lower into the tub. How dare he ruin her bath?

Merlin stood there looking like an idiot for a few seconds taking in her appearance, not knowing he was licking his lips. He had been attracted to her when he had first come to Camelot and being a man, had a bit of a crush on her. She was extremely beautiful. Her lush black hair contrasted perfectly with her pale, alabaster skin. Her emerald eyes shone brightly and her pouty lips were perfect for any man to kiss. Merlin's eyes saw the scars and bruise that covered her body and felt his blood boil. How dare anyone do that to a woman! His mouth opened and closed a few times before he spoke.

"What are you doing?" Merlin asked dumbly.

"I was enjoying a bath until you interrupted," Morgana told him pointedly. His gaze was ravishing. His eyes held her in such reverence that made her blood thicken. His expression was lustful but it wasn't akin to the look of lust that the soldier had for her. Merlin's eyes were different than theirs. She scolded herself for such thoughts.

"Why are you in my room?" he stuttered.

"Guinevere took me here to have a check up with Gaius and offered me a bath. Who was I to say no?" Morgana explained this in an annoyed tone then glared at him. "Now I would like to continue bathing. So if you'd like to see me naked, which I'm sure you do, I'm going to chop your head off as well as other bits of you, if you don't get out."

"Right, right. Sorry." Merlin spoke hurriedly and rushed to the door. His gaze lingered on her for a second before opening and slamming the door shut. Then he turned around to Guinevere and Gaius staring at him, brows furrowed.

"What was that?" Merlin started off with an annoyed look on his face.

"I'm sorry Merlin." Guinevere started rushing to him. "Everything happened so fast."

"What happened so fast?" Merlin looked confused.

"Merlin." Gaius looked at his ward, his voice ominous and his gaze straight. "Can I talk to you?" He lead him outside the room and Guinevere went to check on Morgana.

"What's happening?" Merlin demanded.

"Let's start with you. What happened with the King?"

"Arthur is insisting I talk to Morgana which I refuse to do. So he made me muck out the stables twice, 'just to make sure'. I don't want to see her Gaius, because when I do...I feel...something. I don't know what but it's dangerous and she's dangerous. I have a duty to protect Arthur, and I can't become vulnerable to her in case she turns on us," Merlin told his father-like guardian.

"I see." Gaius crossed his arms.

"What's going on here?"

"I have a suspicion that Morgana is…pregnant," Gaius replied.

"Pregnant?" Merlin asked stupidly.

"Yes, you know, when there's a fetus in-"

"Yes, yes I know but-Morgana. Who can she have been with in the past three years?"

"Are you really this daft? She was raped!" Gaius told his ward, who could be a complete buffoon sometimes, in a harsh hushed whisper.

Merlin opened his mouth a few times. He could literally see crimson in his vision. Merlin didn't view himself as a hard man. Quite the opposite in his mind; perhaps he had gotten harder and colder in the past years but he thought himself as gentler man. He wasn't one of those alpha males like some of the knights. This feeling inside him was completely out of character.

Merlin also had no love for Morgana. She was the darkness to his light, the hate to his love. But knowing this piece of information made him want to find whoever forced themselves upon her and make them pay. He felt his fist tighten as his jaw locked. No woman, no matter how terrible could deserve that sort of torture.

It wasn't just about sex. Rape took away all power from a woman. Power was what made the world go round. A woman would feel helpless and worthless. What were they if they could be dominated like that?

Morgana had once been a queen. She had been one of the most powerful and confident woman in the entire five kingdoms. How could it be that woman had been brought down to the lowest of levels, probably multiple times?

There had only been a few times when had Merlin had lost his temper. Once was when Nimueh had nearly killed Arthur and Gaius. When his father and Freya died, all he felt was sorrow. He couldn't blame either of their deaths on anyone. The soldier had only been following orders and Arthur too had been following his father's orders. Now, he wanted to not just kill the man who had raped Morgana but he wanted to watch as the light of his eyes faded to nothing. He wanted to hear their whimpers as he strangled them with his bare hands. That would be merciful. They deserved to experience the worst torture before being killed.

And it petrified him. These feelings could be the undoing of him. He was capable of so much violence, thankfully he had Gaius to guide him and teach him. He and Morgana weren't so different. The only difference was that he had Gaius to aid him while Morgana had no one who truly understood what was happening to her. The worst part of that was, he could have guided Morgana when she was lost and alone.

"Why was I so stupid?" Merlin asked himself aloud, thinking about the night hr turned her away.

"I know how you feel," Gaius said softly. "But I have to make sure she's pregnant before I tell her."

"You have no idea how I feel," Merlin muttered. "How can I help?"

"Using your magic, you can sense if there is life within her. I've felt some sort of...I can't explain it but you can cement my suspicious. I need you too focus on her abdomen to find that emitting life. Can you do that?"

"I think so," Merlin replied as his rage slowly subsided. He took a deep breath as he and Gaius entered the room again. A few minutes later, Guinevere and Morgana came out of Merlin's room, Morgana was still stumbling to walk and Merlin saw Guinevere shoot Gaius a concerned look. Did she know? Morgana's hair was still damp but she looked cleaner than before. She wore a new dress. It was a simple dress unlike the ones she had wore as Uther's ward. Merlin tried to block the image of her bathing in his room. Why did she have to be so beautiful? She shot him a disdainful glare, clearly angry.

"Can you sit here please?" Gaius gestured to a bench. Morgana seated herself as soon as her bottom touched the wood, Gaius said, "Oh, I have to go to the chamber pot. Start the examination will you, Merlin? You can't be completely useless as a physician after all these years."

Merlin looked at Gaius as he walked away. He shook his head slightly before he knelt in front of Morgana and pressed his hands against her stomach pretending to assess the wounds that lay under her dress. His rose and fell with her uneven breathing. He glanced up at her to see her glaring at him.

"Sorry," He apologized, not sure what for.

He focused on her stomach, searching for life. His entire world became colours. Morgana emitted a dark green and his hands were a dark blue. Looking at her abdomen, he was met with Morgana's green but then a small grey emerged before his eyes. It was small but it was there. Morgana was pregnant.

Merlin withdrew and continued to asses Morgana. He did not realize how much softer his touches were compared to another patient. Occasionally the two met eyes, and years of history flew between them. A few minutes later, Gaius came back, as inconspicuous as he could, Merlin gave him a nod. Merlin moved away from Morgana and stood next to Guinevere.

Gaius approached Morgana. "Morgana, I'm going to tell you something. You're not going to like it."

"Go ahead," Morgana urged a bit sarcastically. "I don't like secrets being kept from me," There was a slight snarl in her voice as she finished her sentence remembering when Gaius had refused to tell her of her magic.

Gaius, Guinevere and Merlin looked at each other. "You're pregnant," Gaius said quickly. Guinevere and Merlin held a breath.

"Excuse me? What?" Morgana's mouth was half open and her eyes were wide.

"You're pregnant." Gaius repeated raising his eyebrow slightly.

"I am not pregnant!" Morgana protested, tears threatened to form. "No!"

"I know the signs. I am a physician." Gaius informed her in as calm a voice he could muster.

"How could I be pregnant?!" Morgana exclaimed.

Gaius sighed. "When a man-"

"I know how it works!" Morgana interrupted, a disgusted look on her face. "But I haven't done that!"

"I never said you meant it to happen."

"What are you trying to say?" Morgana growled, her mouth in a hard line.

"You have many scars on you Morgana. Some may reside on the inside as well as the outside."

"What are you implying?" Morgana asked quietly.

"You were raped, weren't you?" Gaius said forwardly but cautious and soft.

"That's none of your business," Morgana snarled.

"Morgana, please-" Guinevere started, moving forward to comfort her friend.

"Shut up!" Morgana snapped. "I can't be pregnant, Gaius. This must be a mistake."

Morgana could literally feel her blood pump. She couldn't be pregnant, she didn't want the Sarrum to have any control over her ever again. This couldn't be happening to her.

"It's not a mistake." Gaius said. "You have child within you, whether you like it or not."

"Who was it was?" Merlin looked up from his spot, his eyes dark. He had been fighting himself for the past minutes. He couldn't contain the rage inside him. "Because I'm going to kill him."

"There wasn't just one!" Morgana screamed. "They all did it! Multiple times!" Tears started came to the front of her eyes and she swallowed the lump in her throat. "I don't want this child. All I would make me think of that hellish prison." Now, tears were really falling down her pale cheeks, some hanging off her dark lashes. Guinevere gave her a sympathetic look. Gaius sighed. Merlin, well, Merlin was trying to contain the furious magic inside him.

Merlin walked briskly over to Morgana, every sense of logic leaving him. He was approaching the "Wicked Witch of Camelot". But, this wasn't Morgana the Wicked Witch of Camelot. This was a violated woman that just survived the worst torture possible and was still trying to heal. He knelt and clasped her hands in his, much to Guinevere, Gaius and Morgana's amazement. His gaze wasn't cold, it was warming to her core. "You and I can be enemies another day but today...I'm going to protect you, because no one deserves what happened to you. You can not let what they did to you bring you down. They will pay, I swear to you, they will pay." Merlin opened his arms and Morgana slid into them.

Because right then, they weren't good and evil. He was simply comforting a wounded girl. Tomorrow, they would go back to scathing glares and poisonous words. Today, Merlin would hold her like there is no tomorrow. The day could wait because in that moment... Everything was right.

This was wrong. Morgana's head was saying one thing and yet her body pulled her towards Merlin's despite him still being dirty from serving her idiot brother. But she needed this, she craved human comfort. This was as reliving as her bath, if not more. It was like cool mist spraying in your face after a long summer day. Here she was, in her enemy's arms. Could this be any more twisted? How could something so wrong feel so…right?

Guinevere and Gaius looked at the scene with their jaws dropping to the floor. Gaius felt like smacking Merlin. What about how his speech about how he was going to stay away? But, he was proud of his boy. Gaius too had been enraged at what had happened to Morgana but he didn't expect Merlin to react like this.

Guinevere was lost for words. She had never know Merlin to be so...passionate. His speech to Morgana had chilled her bones. His blue eyes had been hooded and his voice had sounded raspy. A small smile touched her lips as she watched the heart-warming scene. Morgana was leaning forward into Merlin's arms with tears streaking down her face. Merlin's blue shirt was stained with her tears as he knelt on his knees. Merlin mouth was a centimeter from her ear as he whispered comforting words.

His lips were inches from her neck and it took all his will to not kiss her right there. One quick movement and he would be stuck in an downward spiral. A pit of his stomach burned with desiree, while his heart bled for her in sympathy. He was hold the most beautiful woman in his arms. She was his in this moment. Utterly and completely.

Her head was tucked away in the nook of his neck. Her tears rain down his collarbones to his chest, before being absorbed by his shirt. His hands gently started stroking up her back and tenderly touching her neck.

His face was inches away from her face as leered above her, a sick grin across his face. She opened her mouth to scream but he covered his with his own smelly mouth and harshly kissed her. His hands moved towards her dirt coated neck as his rough hands moved up her stomach, slowly raising the dress above her thighs.

Morgana's eyes widened and she wretched away from the lean body pressing against hers and slapped the man across the face as hard as possible. Her eyes glowed orange as she blew the man across the room, the sound of glass breaking spread throughout the room. She held up a hand and choked the man that was still coughing on the ground, her eyes were radiant.

Guinevere charged forward and grabbed Morgana around the waist, screaming, "Morgana! Stop! You're killing Merlin! Morgana please! STOP!"

"Morgana, it's me, Merlin," Merlin managed to choke out.

The gold light of her eyes slowly faded and Merlin took a deep gulp of air. Morgana was still crying as Guinevere held her. "Where's my Aithusa? Where is she? I need her."

"We don't know where she is Morgana," Guinevere told her gently. "The other dragon has taken her."

"I want my Aithusa," Morgana said helplessly. "Aithusa…"

The door opened to see Arthur stride into the room then freeze. His crown was perched atop of his blond, not-so-immaculate hair "What's going on?" He asked with huge eyes. He looked down at Merlin, who was sitting up. "Why are you on the ground?"

"Arthur, this really is not a good time." Gaius walked towards the confused king.

"Would you please just explain this to me?"

"I need to tell you something."

"I'm just about ready to believe anything at this point."

Gaius lead Arthur out room just as Merlin got to his feet and started walking cautiously towards Morgana.

"Arthur, something's happened to your sister. You're not going to like it." Gaius warned him.

"Would you please spit it out?" Arthur demanded impatiently.

"Morgana's pregnant."

Arthur's face changed drastically as the words entered his ears. At first, it was shock. How? Then realization as he figured out she had been violated. Then, and rightfully so, rage overtook his face. His jaw locked while his left hand tightened around his sword. "I'm going to destroy the Sarrum."

"It wasn't just him."

"All of them." Arthur told Gaius, his face contorted in fury. "They will die for what they've done."

"You can't be that so rash, Arthur." Gaius reminded him.

"Why? They raped my sister."

"I understand how you feel. But you, can't declare war like that. Keeping Morgana alive is already risky enough but you would put your entire kingdom in danger if you kill the Sarrum."

"Are you saying I should abandon my sister?"

"The Sarrum and his men will get what's coming another day but Morgana is still dangerous."

"I know she's dangerous! But she is first and most importantly, family."

"I know Arthur. But I believe that this is the time to change Morgana. She's vulnerable and if you are the one to heal her, you may have chance to win her over."

"I will do whatever it takes to get Morgana back."

Arthur decided to move Morgana back into her old chambers as they had been left untouched since her betrayal. She had had enough of dungeons. After Morgana calmed down and she fell asleep in her room, Guinevere and Arthur discussed plans to help Morgana recover. Arthur still wanted to murder everyone soldier that laid a finger on Morgana for their crimes but he understood that he had to enact his revenge a different way. He wasn't a very vengeful man but this was unacceptable. He couldn't imagine what he'd do if his knights had raped a woman. They'd have to keep her pregnancy a secret for as long as possible.

"You reacted quite strongly today Merlin," Gaius commented as he made supper.

"Wouldn't you have too?" Merlin replied as he drew a circle with his finger on the table.

"Of course, but you were above and beyond."

"Perhaps I'm more sensitive to the topic than you are," Merlin told Gaius cryptically.

"Why is that?"

"When I was ten, it nearly happened to my mother," Merlin confessed. "It was terrible, Gaius. I didn't really understand it completely when I saw it but I killed the man on top of her in a second. Later, mother explained to me why it was probably one of the worst things to happen to a woman because it took away all power a woman had."

"You know Merlin, I can tell you want the old Morgana back too."

"Of course I do."

"You had a crush on her before," Gaius said with a grin.

"It wasn't that big," Merlin mumbled, his cheeks turning red.

"You brought her flowers."

"She wasn't feeling well," Merlin protested in a whiney voice.

"You did walk in on her undressing and bathing."

"Not purposely!" Merlin exclaimed.

"You can be the savior. You could be that person Merlin. You were the one to hurt her the most in her eyes and it's fitting that you save her."

"I still don't believe in her redemption yet," Merlin said stubbornly.

"How can't you? Yes, she's dangerous. So are you. That doesn't stop me from loving you. She's so open right now. Why can't you see that? You should take her to Aithusa. She'll love you."

Merlin blushed at the last comment. "I can't because I'll break her heart again when she finds out about my magic."

"If she finds out about your magic, it will either drive her over the edge or change her. She'll realize that you had a good life and you have magic."

"And I hate myself every moment I lie to Arthur and Guinevere."

"But you've used it for good. At least take her to Aithusa." Gaius pushed. "I didn't believe in her at first but she's gone through a lot and to turn her away would be to dig her grave and pile the dirt back in."

The lights flickered around the hovel as she held the child swathed in semi-clean rags. She hummed as she rocked the babe back and forth in her arms, singing the words in her head.

Hush child, the darkness will rise from the deep

And carry you down into sleep

Guileless son, I'll shape your beliefs

And you'll always know your father's a thief

And you won't understand the cause of your grief

But you'll always follow the voices beneath

The hut was dirty and smelly. Her makeshift bed was infested with bugs and her floor was dirt. This was no way to raise an innocent babe.

The vision shifted as her head lolled to the side in her sleep, her eyes fluttering.

She was sweaty and tired as she rested her head against the headboard, dressed in a thin nightgown. A high pitched wail drew a smile to her mouth and the wet nurse walked to her to deposit the naked baby in her arms. Tears streaked down her face as she held the male baby in her arms.

"Oh my sweet, you will be cared for very well," she whispered.

"I want to see my wife!" a booming voice complained. She rolled her eyes.

"You'd better let him before he blows the door open."

Her husband entered the room, his bright blue eyes slowly filled tears as he looked at the babe. "He's beautiful." He held her hand. "You've made it through another birth."

"Please don't expect me to do that anytime soon."

He pouts then strokes the baby's fine hair. "What should we name him?"

"Will Kestrel Wyllt."

"I like it. What does Kestrel mean?"

"Falcon."

She woke up as if a calloused hand was rubbing the back of her own. Was that silk that slide around her ankles? Was she actually in a proper bed? She pushed herself and surveyed her room. Her old vanity sat in the exact same spot as it was before. Her wardrobe was just as polished as before. Everything seemed to be in place. She was in her old room. The light shone through the window and the smell of fresh air was comforting to her. She smiled then her mouth pursed into a line.

She was pregnant with a bastard child. Perfect. It was the bloody cherry on top to her past three years of hell.

A knock on the door caused her to look up in surprise. Who would come to see her? Guinevere? Arthur?

"Come in." Her voice still sounded harsh and raspy but it was getting better.

The door slowly opened as Merlin stepped into the room, a bouquet of flowers in his hands. She had become used to seeing the cold, calculating, confident Merlin but this man was anything but. His eyes flitted away from her as if he would burn if he looked to long. His large hands threaded through his hair and his grip on the bouquet was tight.

"Merlin, to what do I owe the pleasure?"

Merlin gulped. This had to be one of his dumbest ideas of all time. Had he gone completely insane? "I-I brought you these."

"Cat got your tongue? Have you come to poison me with the smell of roses?" The thing about Merlin was that he never failed to rile her up, and she was ready to scream right now.

He slowly approached her. "No, I meant what I said when I said I'd protect you."

"When do you say that? I don't seem to recall that." Now, that was a lie. She was well aware of the way his hands had been plastered to her dress.

His cheeks tinged red. "Em...when you found out you were pregnant."

"You're going to protect me?" she asked in a bored tone.

His back straightened, his chest puffing out slightly. Men. "Yes."

"You've done a bloody good job if you call poisoning protecting."

Merlin bit his lip. "I've never wanted to-"

"Then why did you do it?" she snapped.

"I didn't think I had another choice. But I was wrong!"

"Get out Merlin. Your words mean nothing to me."

"I'm going to prove to you I mean it. I am truly sorry," Merlin said sincerely.

"Of course you are." Morgana looked at her nails. "We'll just be back to trying to killing each other soon enough."

"No, I won't let that happen," Merlin told her intensely.

"You're a lying hypocrite," Morgana scoffed.

"I'm tired of this Morgana. I'm tired of having to protect your brother. I'm tired of pretending that you don't mean anything. I'm tired of this game we play." His voice was stronger and she felt her skin raise at his words.

"I'm touched." Morgana said sarcastically, swallowing any feeling she ever had for him. "Now get out."

Merlin nodded in defeat and slowly walked out of her room like a puppy left out in the rain. He did try. She had meant so much to him before, now...he wasn't sure of anything between them anymore. One minute she's was his arms, the next, she was glaring ice daggers at him. Women.

"Merlin!" his mother called. "Come, you have to help me bake this pie."

"Pie? Baking?" Merlin asked confused, his seven-year-old self looked at his mother.

"Yes Merlin, pie." His mother smiled.

"I thought you'd given up on me since I set that loaf of bread on fire." Merlin replied.

"I would never give up on you, my son."

"Merlin!"

"Yes?" Merlin turned around from walking out of the throne room. Arthur had just dismissed council.

"That's 'yes, Your Highness' to you." Arthur pointed a figure at Merlin as he rose from his throne.

"I go with prat usually," Merlin retorted, moving away from his finger.

"You never cease to amaze me with your insolence," Arthur said in awe, dropping his finger.

"I'm a riddle wrapped in a mystery." Merlin said grinning.

Arthur gave him a doubtful look, the one where his lip curls to one side and his eyebrows go two inches high. "Right, prepare the horses and sharpen my javelin, we're going hunting tomorrow early in the morning."

"Just you and me?"

"Do you have a problem with that?"

"No, as long as we don't get trapped in a hunter's trap like one time."

"That was your fault. Anyways, I don't want word to go out that I'm leaving the castle, what with Morgana being here."

"Right, I'll get on to it." Merlin turned away.

"Oh, and Merlin!" Arthur called, grinning. "Polish the crossbow and my boots while your at it, and don't forget to muck out the stables."

"Clotpole." Merlin muttered, leaving the room.

"Are you sure about this?" The elder asked him.

"I'm sure. I've seen the other way it goes, and it's not pretty." He shook his head.

"You are messing with destiny. Playing with fire," The elder warned him.

"I know but...I know Arthur is a good man and Morgana was amazing at one time. I can't let destiny happen."

"If you fail…"

"I won't fail." He told the elder confidently. "The seer had the Mark of the Vates. I'm confident that I can do this."

"Very well," The elder sighed. "You have our blessing in this."

"Thank you, sir." He bowed his head and went to leave the tent.

"Mordred!" The elder called, he turned around. "Good luck!" He smiled.

Mordred smiled but it slowly faded as he strode out of the tent. Good luck indeed...

I dedicate this chapter to: horoscopesarelies who left me the sweetest review :) I promise I will get update sooner. School makes updating soooo much harder! Gah! That is my New Year's resolution! (It's not New Year but oh well...) What did you think about this chapter? It's quite angsty and there's some Mergana yay! The road to recovery is a long and one but hopefully Morgana will get down that path. And yay, Mordred! Please review, it helps me feel inspired when you guys do. Thanks to all the my last reviewers, alerters and favouriters. I promise you I will have the next chapter up in two weeks :)

Thanks for sticking with me!

~Fiery

***Updated December 27***