Holding my ribcage as if afraid it would fall apart if I let go, I searched for my wand and upon finding it, I headed into the Leaky Cauldron to wait for the Knight Bus to come and take me home.

CHAPTER 4: GOOD-BYES

The storm was building as I was walking to the door. My arm burned a little where they had done it. Lightning flashed behind me and I heard the thunder rumble. Rain mixed with my tears and I couldn't tell if I was still crying or if it was just the rain. My hair was plastered to my face and I laughed wryly when I pictured what Aunt Cissa's face was going to look like when she saw me.

I walked up to the large doors and wrenched one of them open. Looking into the parlor room, I saw a sea of long blonde hair cascading down from one of the chairs. I smiled sadly.

"Aunt Cissa."

She whipped her head around, wand pointed straight at me. When she recognized me, she lowered her arm and gave a sigh of relief.

"Oh, Jenna, it's you. I was getting worried…"

I nodded, holding back tears. "Please, can we talk somewhere… private?"

A worried look entered her eyes but she immediately got up and led me to her room. I put my arms around myself, trying desperately to keep myself – and my ribcage – together. We passed Draco's room and I found myself wanting to barge into his room and tell him to leave while he still could.

I entered Aunt Cissa's room and waited for her to shut the door. When she did, I fell onto the bed and rolled up my left sleeve. She gasped.

"No. They didn't… Jenna, tell me you agreed to this. Tell me they didn't force you…"

I looked at the floor. "I wish I could, Aunt Cissa. They know that Draco trusts me and they thought he might've told me about whatever it is that he has to do. I'm sure of it." Tears rolled down my cheek. "They made me, Aunt Cissa. They made me do it."

Aunt Cissa sat down on the bed, next to me and stroked my hair.

"Aunt Cissa?" I asked, the tears still coming. "Aunt Cissa, I'm scared."

I buried my head in her shoulder and cried. She held me close, her hand still stroking my hair.

"I know, sweetie. I know."

I sobbed into her shoulder for what seemed like a lifetime. Dark thoughts crossed my mind and I tried in vain to shake them away. Each new thought brought on another round of wracking sobs. Aunt Cissa offered me false comforts while I cried.

When I was finally able to control myself, I pulled away from my aunt to wipe my eyes. I heard Aunt Cissa sigh.

"I'm sorry, Jenna, truly sorry that you were dragged into this. But there's no way back now. You are what you are."

I shook my head in denial. "No. I can't. I won't. I'm not as strong as you, Aunt Cissa. I can't do this." My face paled and once again I found myself fighting back tears.

"You don't have to worry about this right now, Jenna. Get some sleep. We can talk about it again in the morning, if you wish."

"Aunt Cissa? Could you please heal my ribs before I go to bed?"

Her eyes widened and I thought I saw a tear, but she bent her head and began to heal my wounds. I knew that she wasn't going to ask who did it because she already knew. Only one person would treat a pureblood this way. When she was done she asked, "Better?"

I nodded and headed off to my room even though I knew I wouldn't be getting any sleep that night. No, I had much more important things to do.

"Draco. Draco." I hissed, startling my cousin awake. "We need to talk."

Draco rolled over, pulling his pillow over his head. I huffed impatiently and yanked the pillow from his grasp. He sat up, mumbling under his breath.

"What, Jenna?" He asked. He had obviously not gotten over our last argument.

"I want out. And I want you with me."

"What?" He asked, wide-eyed. "I-I don't understand."

His blonde hair fell over his eyes but he made no move to swipe it away as he usually did.

"I want out." I repeated, showing him the Dark Mark on my arm. His eyes widened even further. "Think about it, Draco. You and I, we're not Death Eaters. We're just two draftees plucked from the street. The Dark Lord doesn't want to reward you. He wants to punish your father.

"Please, Draco, listen to reason. Come with me and together we'll escape. We'll get out together."

For a moment he just sat there, gawking at me, and I had hope. And then his eyes turned fearful and I knew I had lost him.

"No, Jenna. I don't believe you. The Dark Lord believes in me, in my abilities. He chose me for this and I'm going to do it.

"You know what I think, Jenna? I think you're trying to get me out of the way. I think you want to steal the glory from me. But I'm not going to let you.

"Get out, Jenna. Get out!"

I stared at my cousin, tears filling my eyes. In the sixteen years I had been alive, he had never spoken to me like that. A tear rolled down my face and I begged one more time.

"Please, Draco. I don't want any glory. I want you to be safe-"

"You don't give a damn about me, Jenna!" He turned away from me then. I thought I saw an angry tear roll down his cheek, but it was gone before I could be sure. "Please, Jenna. Just leave me alone."

I wrapped him in a tight hug which he did not return. With one last glance at my still fuming cousin, I left the room. Racing down the hall, I thought I heard a faint sob behind me. Then again, I could've just imagined it.

Once in my room, I began packing. The tears were falling relentlessly now. I knew I would never be coming back. The thought tore at my heart, ripping open a new hole. I had been born and raised here, expecting it to be my home forever. Now, after only sixteen years, it was lost to me.

When my packing was done, I found a spare piece of parchment and an old quill. Hastily, I wrote my cousin a note.

Dear Draco,

I expect that this is the last time you shall hear from me. I am writing you now to say good-bye. This is my only chance to get out and I'm taking it.

Please, Draco, if ever you wish to join me, just speak my whole name aloud and I will come to you. I'm begging you to think about this. You could be safe and not have to worry! We could protect Aunt Cissa and Uncle Lucius together. Draco, I'm begging you. Please, reconsider.

I love you.

Jenna

P.S. And Draco, please keep this our little secret. I don't want to die.

A few tears fell onto the parchment but the ink wasn't smeared so I folded it up and wrote Draco's name on the front.

"Hoblin?" I whispered.

A loud crack echoed around the room and instantly a tired-looking house elf appeared by my side. His worn-out tea rag hung limply off his body, making it look more like a holey toga than a shirt. I winced mentally at the sight of him, the poor thing.

"How can Hoblin help Miss Jenna?" The elf asked, bowing deeply.

"I need you to give this to Draco as soon as I'm gone. Wake him if he's asleep and tell him that it's private. Do not read it. Do not open it. Do not give it to anyone but Draco. Tell no one that I am leaving. And, basically, don't do anything except what I told you to. Got it?"

He nodded wearily and I handed him the note. Suddenly emotional, I pulled the surprised elf into a hug and whispered, "I'm going to miss you, Hoblin. Good luck."

Smiling at the dazed creature, I rushed out of the room, a few wrapped presents in my arms. I charmed my bag and broom to follow behind me. Screw the Ministry.

I raced down the staircase and into the parlor room where the Christmas tree was set up. With a sad thought, I realized that the next day was Christmas. I left the presents under the tree – a pearl necklace for Aunt Cissa, a watch for Draco that had Draco and Jenna, Best Friends Forever engraved on it, and even a little something for Hoblin – and quickly tore open anything with my name on it, throwing anything useful into my bag. There was a pretty blue dress from Aunt Cissa, and a plastic muggle ring from Hoblin which I decided to, sadly, leave behind. But Draco's present could not be left.

It was a beautiful, thin silver bracelet, much like the watch I had given him. And on the back it said, To Jenna, with love. From Draco, your Best Friend Forever. I cried steadily upon seeing this, and immediately put it on my wrist. The fact that we had been thinking on the same brain wave made me smile tearfully.

"I love you, too, Draco," I whispered, my face tilted upward, towards his room.

I walked to the front door, grabbed my broomstick, and flew away. I faced straight ahead for a few seconds without looking back. Then I glanced behind me and watched as my home slowly disappeared behind the trees. Sadly, I thought, Good-bye forever, my Malfoy Manor, my home. Good-bye Aunt Cissa. Good-bye for now, my Draco.

Tears still streaming down my face, I flew without thinking. I turned at random, following my heart. All the while, I was thinking of everything I had just left behind and everything I had just gotten myself into. Draco's face came to mind and I scrunched my face up, trying to hold the tears at bay. I had used a spell that allowed me to come to Draco wherever he was if only he spoke my whole entire name out loud. I hoped that he would.

A possible dilemma entered my thoughts (okay, a definite dilemma). Witches and wizards weren't allowed to use magic until they were seventeen. I was sixteen. And my birthday wasn't for another month yet.

Hmm. This could be a problem…

Suddenly, I knew what I had to do. I flew toward the train station and gritted my teeth.

"Thank God," I whispered after I had ran through the brick wall to get to platform 9 ¾. The Hogwarts Express was waiting for me on the tracks, looking quite lonely, seeing as everyone was on holiday.

I walked up to the train slowly, remembering all the years I had come to this very station. As I got onto the train, I touched the railing, allowing my fingers to trail along its smooth metal. The compartments were empty, showing no sign of student activity. It was so lonely.

I walked all the way to the front of the train where the controls were. No one was there. I looked around the room. It was about as big as a compartment with a sheet of glass that allowed the conductor to see out the window. There were no knobs and buttons as in a muggle train, only thick metal walls and a black leather chair.

Before doing anything, I ran back out to grab my things. Pulling out an old piece of parchment and a quill, I quickly wrote Dumbledore a note.

Professor Dumbledore,

It's Jenna Purewater. Sir, I must return to Hogwarts and speak with you urgently. Please expect my arrival later on today (or tomorrow, I'm not sure what time it is). If you do not see me within a few hours, please come to Platform 9 ¾. Thank you,

Jenna Purewater

I grabbed my owl, Myra's, cage and opened it. She was upset with me because of the long flight. Angrily, she turned her back on me. I sighed.

"You can fly now, Myra. I have a very important letter for you to deliver." She turned her head at that, though her back was still turned. "Come on, Myra. I'm sorry."

She turned around haughtily and stuck out her leg. I quickly tied the letter to her leg and said, "Now, I need you to fly this straight to Professor Dumbledore, and please be quick."

I stepped back and she took off, flying towards the castle as fast as she could. I smiled. At least I had a back up plan.

Grabbing my bag and the now empty cage, I stepped back onto the train. After putting my things in a compartment, I went back into the control room. How could I get this train to move?

I tried a few different spells to no avail. Frustrated, I just shouted the first magic-sounding word that came to my mind. "Locomotus Movess!"

I was absolutely shocked when the train started to move. My mouth was hanging open and my eyes bulging out. Then I laughed and went to sit in my compartment.

The countryside rushed past me and I contented myself with watching it. Fields and cows flew by in a blur, creating an array of combining colors. Then something the color of parchment flew by the window. Pressing my nose up against the glass, I saw that it was indeed a piece of parchment – with my name on it. Looking even closer I realized it was a Howler and decided that it was from the Ministry. Laughing, I said aloud, "You'll never catch me now!"

Grinning like mad, I turned my attention to the compartment. This was the very room in which I found out that Draco was a Death Eater. I shuddered. Now I was one too.

No, I thought. Just because the Dark Mark is branded onto my skin doesn't make me a killer. And it doesn't make Draco one either.

I sighed and rolled up my left sleeve to look at my tattoo. I traced it lightly with my finger, following the intricate lines of the skull and snake. Why was the Dark Lord recruiting people as young as Draco and I? What did two sixteen-year-olds matter to him?

I knew he had gotten Draco because he wanted to punish Lucius. But what was it that Draco had to do? Obviously, the Dark Lord thought Draco might've told me what he had to do. But what if there was another reason he wanted me… what if he had a mission for me, too?

I didn't want to be afraid all the time like Draco was. I didn't want to do the Dark Lord's bidding. I wanted to be me, I wanted to be normal. But that was never going to happen, was it?

A loud crash brought me from my thoughts. I froze when I heard a voice whisper, "Shut up!"

There was no mistaking that voice. Bellatrix had come for me.

I crawled under the seat of the compartment, bringing my belongings down with me. I hardly dared to breathe, afraid that the slightest sound would give me away. With my eyes shut tight and heart beating loud enough to give me away, I listened for Bellatrix and her companions. I heard footsteps right outside my compartment.

"She's in here," I heard a gruff voice say. The door slid open and I hoped against hope that they wouldn't find me here.

"Jenna, love, why are you hiding? Come out and play!"

I opened my eyes a slit and saw Bella's feet. Then, my heart dropping, her face appeared beneath the seat and she asked again, "Jenna, why are you hiding?"

"Well, you didn't exactly make a great first impression."

Bellatrix cackled madly. "Oh, Jenna, you're such a silly little girl. Get out from under there!"

I did as she told me, afraid of being cursed if I didn't. She clapped her hands impatiently. "Come on, come on. I haven't got all day!"

I stood up and Bella took a deep breath. "Ah, there we are. Oh, and thanks for the letter, Jenna. I really appreciate it."

Greyback, who was standing behind her, held up my mangled owl. "Myra!" I cried, tears stinging my eyes. "You bitch!"

She just laughed. "So weak, Jenna! How do you attach yourself so easily to meaningless things?"

The anger built up inside of me as Bella asked, "Back to business, why are you going to meet that Mudblood-loving git anyway?"

I wracked my brain and blurted out the first thing that came to mind. "The Dark Lord has given me a mission."

"A mission?" Bellatrix echoed. "I've heard of no such 'mission' for you."

"It's a secret. He told me to tell no one. Therefore, I assume he'd be a bit upset with you if you interfered with his plans much longer."

I raised a confident eyebrow and Bellatrix took a step back. "The Dark Lord tells me everything… why not this? You're lying!" She spat, raising her wand.

"No, I'm not. Ask him if you don't believe me!"

She paused, her wand raised half-way. I allowed myself a sigh of relief. "Perhaps I will," she muttered. "Perhaps I will… But in the meantime, crucio!"

I screamed and twisted, my body searing with pain. Tears poured from my face like rain and I kept waiting to die, wondering if it would end the pain. I pleaded for my aunt to stop. It felt like a lifetime.

She lifted the curse and I took in jagged breaths of air. My body shuddered with the memory of the pain, aching all over.

"I'll be checking on you, Jenna."

I watched as her purple cloak whipped away. I listened to her and Greyback's footsteps until there was nothing left to hear, and even then I didn't move for a few more moments. Finally, the pain beginning to ease, I got up and lay on the compartment seat, sobbing my heart out.

"Professor, thank God!"

I collapsed into the headmaster's chair and told him everything beginning with my trip to Diagon Alley and ending with the train ride with Bellatrix. He listened quietly to everything I had to say. When I had finished, I looked up into his blue eyes and felt like my soul was being X-rayed.

"We can protect you, Jenna. You no longer have to be afraid."

I was foolish enough to believe him.