Lucky Us
Chapter 4: Twenty Questions
Is it normal to wake up with a sigh? No, it can't be. Not really. But I had so many good reasons to sigh!
Good Reason 1: I still wasn't home!
Good Reason 2: I had to go to school.
Good Reason 3: School led to seeing Roxas which I don't think I was mentally or emotionally prepared for.
Good Reason 4: Seeing Roxas meant playing the curious twenty question game which I was not prepared for either.
Good Reason 5: I was still cringing when I thought of my fall yesterday and it didn't help that once Roxas was 110 percent sure I was alright, he burst out in hysterics claiming 'it was funny because you tripped on thin air!'.
I couldn't help but feel a pang of self-loathing as I mentally moaned: it felt like all I did lately was complain and generally feel sad.
Once externally ready for school, I found myself in the car being drove to school. Irritating butterflies clung to the insides of my stomach as I racked my mind for twenty questions to ask Roxas. And as I realized they simply had to be good as he clearly had interesting ones in mind because he initiated the start of this strange game, I felt added pressure slam onto my shoulders. It was a tiny bit unfair; he had a head start on questions because it was his idea!
"You know..." Nic's amused voice brought me back. "It would look cooler if you sat in the back seat, like you are suppose to."
I kept my puzzled gaze on the warm day rushing past me outside. My voice was lower than I thought. "I don't understand."
"Because then people would know I'm your personal driver, forever bound to you and your wishes."
I rolled my eyes and restrained a small smile. I liked Nic's humour and quirkiness, but this morning...
"Nic, you are not like my slave or something. You are a friend, giving a another friend a drive to school so she can sleep in a little longer."
I wanted to say I didn't care what people thought too but that would be lying. I cared about a lot of people's opinions of me and I was never sure what was so entirely wrong with that. I wanted people to be impressed with me and not think I was a bother or disappointment. I wanted Riku to think of me and smile, think I was impressive. I thought of Riku, a memory of me and him, just laughing and speaking with each other. Suddenly my conversation with Roxas wiggled into my thoughts.
Geez, I growled to myself as I grabbed a fist-full of my skirt, every thought I have goes back to Roxas.
Nicholas blew out air through tight lips, distracting me, he seemed amused and exasperated. "What's up with you this morning? I know you don't usually look forward to school but today..." He trailed off and I could feel him eyeing me form the corner of his deep eyes.
I turned slightly to him, I was right. He was watching me, probably watching for a reaction. I gave him one when I automatically mumbled, "How can you assume something is wrong with my mood this morning when you have only drove me to school 3 times? For all you know, this may be perfectly natural for me at this time."
He threw his answer back quickly and expertly, "But this isn't natural for you. Is it?"
I chewed on my lip as I slumped in my chair. I was so immature and apparently easy to read.
"Nam, what's wrong?" Nicholas' voice was graciously stitched with kindness.
Right I can do this. Just let the words come. I took a deep breath.
"Everything is going wrong! I still miss my home madly, everyone at school hates me because my family didn't work for the money, they won it but I don't really understand how the other students can say that because it isn't like they worked for their wealth, they just landed in a rich family, they just got lucky, like my parents, oh, when I say everyone hates me maybe not everyone; there is this guy who is speaking to me but I really don't know if he actually likes me or if he is just making fun of me behind my back but anyway if he is someone I can trust I will play that stupid game he came up with where we ask each other twenty questions, I don't really get it, the only thing I am sure on is I have no idea just whatI will ask him which means he will have all these good questions and he will think I am inconsiderate and haven't even thought about what to ask him when I have but just discovered I am not very good at this and then the one person who doesn't think about spitting on me when I pass them will come to hate me but I shouldn't complain because quite clearly I deserve it!"
When my rambling stopped, I realised I was breathing heavily and greedily and my hands where clutching at the sides of my head. I swallowed, lowered my hands and sat up. I found it strange the car had stopped moving and that we were outside the school.
"Wow." He breathed.
"Yeah." I nodded and turned to him.
He suddenly looked to me, grinned (making me blush, of course, I really couldn't get over how cute he was) and ruffled my hair. I squeaked in protest and patted my hair down when he was satisfied with the annoyance he had caused.
"Nam, it's so cute that you care so much." He cooed to me. "I don't really know what to say about the bullies-" Am I being bullied? "but about the question game can you not just... copy his questions?"
I blinked. He laughed and before I could register properly, Nicholas was shoving me out of the car telling me the bell was going to go soon. And there I was, stood being glared at and quite dumb struck. I swayed to the school and thought about the simple idea of copying Roxas' questions. It was a simple idea and could be considered cheating, I suppose. It's lazy too. So if I did just copy his questions he would find it lazy and simple of me. He would probably think I was too stupid to think of good questions. But, on the contrary, I could turn this into a humorous, smart thing. When he asks his question and I answer and then in turn ask a question, his question, I could smirk and be witty about it and this way I would avoid asking stupid, embarrassing questions because they would be his! But I had to leave one question free so I could ask him why he was so keen on knowing about Nicholas. Although it had only been a day, my curiosity about the matter had grown furiously.
With another sigh, I sat down in art.
"Good morning, Naminé." Roxas' calm voice startled me and in an instant my blood was thundering oh, so annoyingly. I took a deep breath and tried to calm myself and turned to him. That deep breath became pointless.
He was hovering over me, leaning on the desk and wearing that dazzling smile so casually and his eyes were a warm swirling blue only focused on me as I gazed up to him. He really shouldn't be allowed to do that! There should be some sort of law... or something. I was so rawly distracted and dazed by him.
"Did you miss me?" His amused, musical voice asked as he sat in the seat next to me.
I blushed and tried to lead away from that shamefully true subject. "Is that one of your twenty questions?"
His eyebrows raised at the question and his voice was light and surprised. "You remembered."
I nodded and waited for him to take his intense gaze away from me. I wished with everything I had he would say something to distract me from his mouth-watering smell that swayed around me.
"Shall we discuss the rules?" He somehow became even more handsome when he was formal.
"Rules?" I was panicking now. What if there was a 'no copying rule'? Knowing my luck...
"Yeah. Only a few-"
"Can I make a rule?" I was gonna have to make sure there was a rule that the same question can be asked on both sides.
He nodded and seemed interested.
"Both sides can ask the same question."
Roxas contemplated this for a moment and then agreed with a wise smile causing my insides to tickle.
"Right and how about all questions must be answered truthfully?" He asked, staring straight into my eyes. How was I suppose to disagree?! I numbly nodded, trying not to think about the possible disastrous consequences to that rule.
"And..." He trailed his voice so smoothly and ruffled his own soft dark blonde spikes, "Anything can be asked."
"Sure." My voice was quiet and as weak as my will. I couldn't remember why that rule was a big deal as I looked at him.
"Let's start." Roxas chuckled.
I gave him a weak smile. The harsh bell suddenly screamed into the room.
"Aw," He grumbled, "Freakin' bells have the worst timing."
I watched him pout so adorably and couldn't help but giggle.
With a furrowed brow, he gave me an inquisitive look and asked, "What?"
And then for some very strange, unknown reason to me: I didn't think and let incredibly stupid words come from my own mouth, "Roxas, you are just cute when you are moody."
My hand snapped up to my mouth and clamped onto it and my eyes became impossibly wide. I could feel my face burn and my stomach turn as I watched Roxas watch me in return. The corners of his lips turned up into that dazzling smile and he edged towards me. The soft fabric of his school jumper was touching my forearm. My heart raced. Being closer, I realised his eyes were even more startling and hypnotising, his faint cologne had filled my head.
Boys just didn't get this amazing! Only in movies were boys like this! And in those movies they certainly did not speak to girls like me. Maybe when my parents told me I was moving, I went into a coma, and as they told me 'everything was alright' in hospital, my sub-conscious picked it up and tried to create an 'alright' world in my mind. Maybe...
"You think I'm cute?" His voice was laced with a surpised curiousity but I could feel a smugness somewhere in there.
"RIGHT, class!" The young, thin teacher floated into the room and it was then I realised I wasn't breathing. My hand fell down and I took greedy breaths, while avoiding Roxas' gaze completely and clutched onto my chest as though trying to contain my heart in my hand and control it's irregular beat. It didn't work.
And for the first time in my life, I was not focused on art in my art class.
Fifty-five minutes later of a constant nervous panic attack, class was over and I was staggering out of class. Roxas walked next to me as we both made our way to our next class. I could feel him watch me. I threw him a quick glance and I noticed he was restraining a smile, maybe a laugh?
"What?" I mumbled, turning away again.
"Nothing." He was obviously amused. "I think I want to ask you my first question."
"Shoot, then." I said, turning to him. I tried to smile but it was impossible, he was going to ask about my earlier... embarrassment.
"Right. Naminé, my question is-" Why was he being so formal?
Before I could ponder or even hear his question, a boy at the edge of a group of boys (in my year) that were walking down the corridor bumped into me. I stumbled but, as quickly as I could, slinked away from the boy and mumbled a few 'sorry's and 'my fault's. The boy remained silent. I looked up to see if he was still there and he was. He towered over me, and his eyes left no part of my body to mercy, he winked at me and gave a sly smirk as the other boys watched me too and in a instant he was gone and I was stood, quite scared.
I turned to find Roxas and he was stood looking rather expressionless and bored.
"Told you." He mumbled as he started to walk down the hall again.
Following, I quizzed, "Told me what?"
"That's a question, you only have nineteen left." I wasn't bothered about the question game, I was more concerned that he seemed annoyed. "I told you, they liked you."
"Oh." Was all I could say.
Roxas blew out a large breath and suddenly turned to me with a smile, making my heart skip a beat. "Question time, now. First question is do you find me cute?"
Ugh, why was he asking this? He knew! This boy, this cute boy wanted to see me suffer.
I glared at him but my glare became pointless as I blushed. "You know the answer."
"Naminé , is that a proper answer? Is that a true answer?" He teased.
"Yes, if you think about it." I snapped back.
"Oh, just play along!" He laughed. This was no play-time, this was war for me! "Well?" He pressed.
I let out a dramatic, exaggerated sigh, turned my face away from him to hide the humiliating blush and mumbled. "Yes."
"Yes, what Naminé?"
My blush got worse. "Yes, I find you cute, Roxas."
We walked in silence to our next class. Me, awkwardly and Roxas, silently celebrating.
Nineteen to go.
During the next class Roxas asked me four more questions. What was my favourite food, what food I hated the most, my hobbies and my favourite song. I hoped the next fifteen of the questions would be that easy.
In our next class Roxas asked, "Naminé? When will you ask a question?" He seemed upset and impatient about having got no questions yet.
"That's a question. You have fourteen left and I just haven't bothered to yet." I expertly answered. I felt so proud of myself! I had been witty and calm just there.
But I couldn't take his cute pout any longer, I was sure if he kept it up I would be in a constant day dream for the rest of my life so I asked, "Roxas, I have a question: why were you angry a little while ago, when I bumped into that boy?"
Roxas had been looking straight at me, making me melt, when I asked him but on hearing my question, he raised his eyebrows and simply turned away as though he hadn't heard me at all.
I waited for moment but the spiky haired boy simply looked at his text book and pretended nothing had happened. Then I got frustrated so I slipped my hand over the desk and towards Roxas' text book and snapped it shut. He looked up to me, almost shamefully.
"Remember what you said, we can ask anything and it has to be answered truthfully and I done that awful first question, now please answer mine." I was surprised at how clear my voice was.
Roxas sighed and looked down. Was it just me or did his cheeks seem a little redder?
"I was jealous." His voice was distorted through gritted teeth, I think.
I don't think I had been ever more confused. Ever. I watched the top of his ruffled spikes through puzzled narrowed eyes.
"Jealous of what?" My voice was thick with utter confusion.
He answered in a hurry, throwing his head up, "That was a question, you have seventeen left!"
"Only if you answer." I retorted.
He was suddenly grinning and goosebumps crawled all over me as he watched only me. Roxas suddenly stood up and was close to me again. My head swirled as his eyes gazed straight into mine, he leaned down and towards my ear. I could feel his warm breath blowing onto my neck.
"I was jealous that you bumped into him and not me."
He straightened swiftly, grabbed his notes and swaggered off to the teacher's desk while my entire being turned to mush.
Throughout the rest of the day, Roxas asked another nine questions all about general random things which I asked back to his amusement. Nothing important or anything that was asked that would made my heart race and my palms sticky. I might be getting some luck for once!
It was at the end of the day when I thought I was going to get away with not being asked his five remaining questions, Nic decided to be late. So much for the luck. As I sat on a bench near the spot where I got picked up, I gazed upon the pretty school grounds, the lush green grass patches that swayed in time with the warm wind and the sheltering trees, I half-prayed Roxas wouldn't show up and half-prayed he would. Ugh, how confusing.
I thought about my day. As for the snobby students I had to admit they were more sophisticated than the students at my usual school. Back home, I would have been tripped up in the hallway, have names screamed at me and I would probably be covered in mud or food at the moment. But these people were sly with their loud whispers, 'accidental' bumping into's in the hallway, hiding my things in classes; it was all physiological, exactly what I suspected from this school. I didn't like it but thanks to Roxas, I didn't have much time to think about it.
And to my dread and joy, Roxas did show and soon he was sitting next to me, waiting for his ride too. I wasn't sure if this was an awkward silence or a calm one. It could be considered calm, with the warm sun floating down from the bight blue sky and the gentle breeze but it could equally be awkward giving that we were completely silent and my nerves were multiplying by the nano-second. I still hadn't asked my question.
I went to break the silence but he bet me to it.
"Do you miss everything about your old home?" His voice was quiet and when I stole a glance his eyes were glazed and swimming in other oceans.
Although it was the easiest question he had asked me, it struck a nipping chord. In fact, it broke that chord right down the middle. I winced at the sting of it. Old home? Is that what my real home was now? Just an old matter of existence? A memory?
"Yes." My voice was hoarse and bitter, almost.
We sat for a quiet moment. I wasn't even sure if my answer had registered properly to him because when I took another look at him, he hadn't moved a millimetre.
"Roxas?"
"Mhmm?" He was suddenly happy, beaming and waiting for me to force my body to solidify again.
"Why are we playing this game and not just asking each other the questions outwith this game?"
"Well," He pondered, taking his gaze slowly up to the blue mass above us, "Think about this as a special pass to ask each other absolutely anything. If we didn't have the twenty special passes the other person could simply refuse. See? This is better."
I watched him grin at me, crouch slightly, cup his chin in his hand and prop his elbows on his knees. The pit of my stomach tingled as he refused to take his eyes from mine.
"Do you have a boyfriend?" His voice was light and as he looked up to me his eyes had a mischievous glint.
Guess what my body felt was the correct way to react to this moment? Blush and blush and blush some more. This was a disaster. It wasn't the actual question that made this situation disastrous. In fact, the question was shamefully easy to answer. The answer was a sad, sad no. But the subject of boyfriend led to having those 'feelings' for someone and because Roxas could be related to those 'feelings', that made this event a disaster and full of blushing.
Now, here was my dilema: I could answer in this way:
"Oh, my goodness gracious, Roxas! Of course I don't have a boyfriend." But that could result in him questioning 'Why?' and then leading to 'there must be something wrong with her'. So it would generally make me look like a sad, pathetic, strange girl. But he could also take it that I was hinting or something. Which I wasn't! But he could realise my rather embarrassing crush on him. Which would only lead to utter humiliation because there was no way on this earth he could like me like that! He was far too good, funny, witty and cute for that. For me.
My blush deepened a few shades as I thought of the prospect of me and Roxas, a couple.
Guilt struck me in the chest. Was I not supposed to like Riku?
Or I could answer in this way:
"Yes, I do have a boyfriend Roxas." And simply lie through my teeth. He would find me a little normal then but he could ask me questions about the imaginary boyfriend which I would muck up. But I didn't want him to think I had a boyfriend and was unavailable. I wanted to keep clinging to that hope that he could maybe like me. As horrible as that is. But what was that jealousy thing about?!
But then again, I shouldn't care because I like Riku. Riku. Riku. Riku. Riku! Right, that's it; no more 'oh-gosh-I-like-him?' thoughts about Roxas.
And that was how I decided to say: "No, Roxas. I don't." I was proud of my neutral, level voice. He wouldn't suspect a thing and nothing was being implied there.
I watched him carefully as he merely smiled a gentleman's smile and nodded.
It was time to ask him the only question I really wanted to ask so I could clear my head of this silly crush and focus on Riku and getting home.
He bet me to the punch again.
"Naminé, were you telling the truth about that house-staff guy... Nicholas?"
"Of course." I sounded defensive but I had been telling the truth. "He is house-staff and my friend."
Roxas only had two questions left. What was he saving up for?
The breeze had gotten slightly colder but the sun still radiated down, calmly.
"Roxas, why did you want to know about Nic?" My heart began to race.
He chimed out a small laugh and my head swirled. I couldn't say I didn't love his laughter. He shrugged, "I asked because I was curious, just wanted to know."
I examined him as he answered. His voice was a little strained, his head turned away from me slightly and lowered more into his hand. Was he lying?
He noticed I had noticed something and quickly changed the subject, "Do you think you will ever be happy here?"
The sudden change in the atmosphere took me a minute to adjust to and I tried my very best to tear my eyes from his. I failed.
"I don't know." I hardly heard myself say.
He pursed his lips and nodded. His fist had clenched slightly.
Suddenly a car whizzed up the road and slammed to a stop in front of the bench me and Roxas were sitting at. Nicholas got out and leaned on the roof of the car.
"Sorry, I'm late. You coming, Nam?" He didn't even seem to notice Roxas.
"Yeah, Nic." I piped up and stood up.
Roxas stood up with me and asked with a smirk as he placed his hands in his pockets, "You still have questions left."
"I don't need them. I will just ask you if I want to ask something and hope you answer." I smiled at him.
Now Nic was here the atmosphere was light again.
Roxas returned the smile, beating me, and asked, "You sure you don't want the questions?"
I nodded and said, "You still have one left. Do you want to ask me something else?"
Roxas gave a melting crooked smile and chuckled, "Yeah. But I think I will save it."
Save it for when? Ask what? My knees got weaker. Roxas sheepishly rubbed the back of his neck, tossed a wink at me, waved and walked off.
I watched him go... Was he not waiting for his ride?
"OooOOoooh."
I swung around to Nic who was evilly grinning.
"Don't say anything." I warned.
Nicholas gave a hearty laugh and got in the car, I followed.
"Someone feels better now, I assume?" Nic teased as we drove home.
"Yeah, I do." I smiled back even though my head was heavy with thoughts and my chest was still containing a hammering heart. It seemed the black hole in my chest had filled slightly...
Wooo. I quit my job. :D