I feel nervous as I keep walking down the hallway and getting closer to the cafeteria. I take many shaky breathes as my hand grasps the door handle. I feel my wrist move as I gently turn it before quickly opening it. When I step in I feel like everybody's staring at me.
I duck my head down and rush over to my friends. I sit next to Santana and bury my head in my hands as my mind starts to get cluttered, and I feel as if there are a million lightning bolts clashing around in my head like a never ending storm. "What happened last night?" Puck asks me clearly concerned.
"It's none of your business Puckerman. Not like you even care," I say whispering the last part. His eyebrows knit together in confusion.
"Hummel if I didn't care, I wouldn't have asked. So I obviously care what happened. I thought you and me were kind of bros you know?" he says. I take my head out of my hands and look at him. I stare at him for a minute and then realize he's being serious.
"I-um-I had a run in with Karowsky," I tell them all. Some of them look at me confused, but Santana and Puck's facial expressions show the rage that was intensifying inside them. "But I'm fine, so let's not attack him when he comes back or ever," I explain putting extra emphasis on the word ever.
"He can't just do that!" Santana screeches. "The next time I see him I'm going to shove my foot so far up his!-""Santana!"
I shout interrupting her. "As I said before its really no big deal. I'm fine, your fine he may not be fine, but who the fuck cares?" I say.
Then Uriah pipes up from across the table where he's seated next to Puck. "What do you mean he may not be fine?" he asks.
I bite my lip debating on what to tell them. "Well," I say hesitating before I explain everything. "He beat me up, then Blaine came in and may or may not have beet the living crap out of him," I say the last part rushing through the sentence.
Uriah's jaw drops. Before he says anything Santana gets out a quick "wanky" before Uriah opens his mouth. I send her an icy glare as Uriah starts to talk.
"So what after?" he asks dying to hear more.
"It's not that big of a deal. He told Eric and then moved me to his room for the night," I say regretting the last part.
Everybody's hand clasps over their jaw. Christina then jumps in. "You were in his room? Alone? With a bed? For a whole night?" she asks the questions rapidly.
"Guys seriously? He may be cute but that's kind of inappropriate seeing as though he's my trainer," I say to them trying not to think about what happened after he had done my hair for me.
"Whatever Hummel," Puck says. "But we both know you want to tap that."
I reach over the table and slap his arm lightly. Then everyone at the table burst out laughing. Santana shoves her face on my shoulder and laughs hysterically and harder than anyone at the table.
"San relax," I tell her still catching my breath. "Plus even though I like him I doubt he even likes me the slightest bit,"
"Hummel, that's probably because you look like a stiff," he tells me putting extra emphasis on the word look.
I throw him a hurt look before commenting. "I do NOT look like a stiff."
"Sorry Hummel. But you do," he says. His face lights up and it looks like he has an idea.
"Puckerman get that look off your face. Whatever idea you have it's probably stupid as usual," I snarl at him.
"I was suggesting we take you on down to the tattoo parlor. I got one with Uriah last night," he says looking pleased with himself.
"Wait hold up," I say. "You and Uriah got tattoos together?"
"Yes we did," Puck says flashing a smile at him. He pulls up the short sleeve on his black tight t-shirt. I look and all I see is the dauntless symbol.
"Seriously? That is the most common tattoo anybody in any faction would get. The symbol of their faction. Dauntless' symbol is fire representing bravery, abnegation is two hands holding onto each other symbolizing selflessness, candor is a scale symbolizing truth over lies, amity is a tree representing gardens and peace, and erudite is an eye representing intelligence.
"Yes seriously," Uriah cuts in. "Plus it gives me a chance to show off my guns to the ladies," he says arching his eyebrows and rolling his sleeve up to flex his muscles.
"You have got to be kidding me," I say face paling myself. Uriah shoves me slightly and we laugh. "Fine, later tonight after dinner we'll get me a dauntless tattoo."
Puck and Uriah shout and high five in victory. Everybody else laughs at how enthusiastic they are. I take a minute to turn around. David is throwing his stuff away with a limp and his cheek is bruised very badly. We make eye contact before I whip my head back around.
Soon Eric comes in and takes us to training. We walk down the hallways together until we stop at the room with all the equipment. "Today you guys will fight each other. We have chosen who will fight who," Eric tells us. Everybody gets super excited and we start to run into training. Eric grabs my arm and Blaine stands next to him.
"Sorry Kurt but you're way to hurt for training," Eric says. I suddenly begin to protest but Eric cuts me off.
"That's it Kurt," Blaine cuts in. "Follow me," he says. "I'll keep him busy Eric don't worry. Go watch the initiates before somebody loses an eye."
Eric walks off and Blaine nods his head for me to follow him. "Where are we going?" I ask him as we come to the edge of the roaring chasm.
"Nothing," Blaine tells me. "You thought I was actually going to make you do something?"
"Well-um-I don't know," I say.
Stop getting so nervous around him! I yell at myself in my head. We stand there quietly for awhile before he breaks the silence.
"Have you ever just meet one person and want to tell everything to them?" Blaine asks me. I quickly look up at him.
"What do you mean?" I ask him, wondering why he would ask me of all people something like that.
"You know," he says. "When you meet one person and feel the need to protect and defend them forever? Or you feel the need to open up to them and explain every little detail about yourself?"
I study his face for a minute. His eyes are so stern and I can never tell what he feels. He's so scared all the time, he just hides in a braver way then I do.
"I guess yeah," I answer seeing if he is trying to tell me something. We slip into silence again, listening to the roaring water of the chasm. I listen to the quick rush and decide that the water is flowing as fast as my heart.
My eyes flicker to Blaine's face, as he stares intently at the roaring stream. I smile. His eyelashes are long, and he smiles at his thoughts. The little dent at the end of his lips when he smiles is something I've only seen two or three times.
He looks over and sees me starring at him with massive heart eyes. A small smirk spreads across his face. "What's wrong?" he asks me. I smile at the question because for the first time, everything is okay.
"I am absolutely 100% fine," I answer positive that I am. His eyes light up and he full out smiles. I look down and bite my lip.
"Good," he says. "I hope it doesn't go away," he whispers so soft that I barely picked it up. He clearly didn't want me to hear it, but I did. Before I question I think about how I felt when he asked me about my past life. So I decide to forget about for awhile.
We both look away and watch the water flow through the chasm for an hour and a half, until training ended.
XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX
Uriah, Puck, Santana and I all walked down to the tattoo parlor together. We laugh and push each other as we wonder down the stony halls. When we arrive at a door that says Free Tattoos we knock and push it open.
I look around the room that has orange neon walls and pictures of different designs around the room. I take on the surroundings as the smell of ink fills my nose. I feel a little nervous but remember a word Blaine had told that I find myself mumbling almost every hour. Courage. Suddenly a confident smile takes over my face.
"Back so soon," I hear a women say. I look away from a picture on the wall and my mouth drops open. I recognize her. It's Tori from my aptitude test. She smiles at me. "Kurt," she says.
"Hi," I mumble awkwardly. Puck looks at us.
"You two know each other?" he asks us wondering why my reaction is so different.
"I did his aptitude test," she explains. She looks at me and studies my face before I look away quickly. "So what now you guys?" she asks smiling and cleaning one of her tattoo machines.
Puck steps up immediately. "Our little Kurt here is getting his first tattoo," he explains proudly. Tori smiles at me.
"Is that so?" Tori says walking closer to us. "What are you getting, Kurt?" she asks me.
I feel uncomfortable but I have so many questions to ask her. Courage, I tell myself again. "The dauntless symbol," I peep getting enough courage and bravery to take over my body.
"Alright then," she says grabbing my wrist and pulling me over to a leather chair that has a foot wrest. She tells me to take a seat and take my shirt off. I bite my lip and hesitate. Courage, courage, courage, courage, I dare myself. I sit up and quickly pull my shirt over my head. I sit back as quick as possible. The three of them gather around me and Tori puts latex gloves on and picks up the tattoo gun.
"You ready?" she asks me. My eyes flicker to hers and we hold our gaze. My jaw tightens as I nod my head. Suddenly a buzzing sound fills the room and I feel painful pricks send chills up and down my back as it poked my biceps.
Puck places his hand on my shoulder and squeezes. "You alright?" he asks me. I look up at him.
"I'm fine," I tell him. We sit there in silence for awhile until the buzzing stops. I look at my arm and notice the black ink that is etched into my skin. I smile. The skin is red and puffy but I see is the black fire, reminding me of courage and bravery.
"WOO HOO!" Shouts Puck. I laugh at Uriah and him as they high five and me and Santana walk them and roll our eyes at the goofy teens.
"Can you guys go now?" I ask. "I'm just going to use the bathroom I'll see you by the chasm in a little," I lie. They nod and walk out of the room chatting quietly.
"Aren't you going to use the bathroom?" Tori asks obviously confused.
"No," I answer. "I need some answers," I whisper softly to hear my eyes looking at my folded hand that wrest in my lap.
She looks up at me quickly her eyes going wide. She walks to the door closes and locks it. I shoot her a confused expression. She shushes me and sits in the chair next to mine.
"You haven't told anybody, right?" she asks me concerned.
"Not a single soul," I say honestly, my eyes pleading her for answers to the questions that have been plaguing my mind ever sense my test. She looks back at me before sighing.
"They think you, and any other divergent threaten the system of choosing where you want to stay for your life," she explains.
"Who are they?" I ask needing to know who I'm hiding from. She sighs again, getting up to whisper in my ear.
"They could be watching," she tells me before sitting back. My eyes go wide and scared. "You could lose your life. Is it wrong? Of course. Does anybody give a fuck? Of course not," she answers herself looking at her hands quietly.
"Please Tori," I plead. "I need to know," I say demanding. She raises he eyes to lock with mine again.
She sighs in defeat and I instantly sit up. "I can't say names. But remember the ones we hail are the worst of all," she tells me. I stare blankly at her. I blink a few times before gasping.
I think of that song I heard Blaine sing in the shower. The ones we hail are the worst of all, and the bloods run stale. I freeze a little now completely scared and shocked. She gets up and unlocks the door. "You should go now," she tells me. "Come back anytime though," she says right before I run out of the room and down the hallway.
My mind feels blank but I don't care. I just keep running and running until I can't breathe. I find myself stopped right outside Blaine's room. I stare at it. The lyrics swirling through my head making it pound. I want to scream, but I can't. And the ones we hale are the worst of all and the bloods run stale.
I venture farther down the hallway trying to fathom my thoughts. When I can't I walk into a dark empty hallway and sit. Will I ever catch a break? I ask myself. I feel stressed and numb as all feelings and emotions go blank. Stray tears drip off my cheek as more and more blur my vision. I hear somebody coming so I get to my feet and wipe away my tears. When I look up blue eyes lock with gorgeous hazel orbs.
I take in a harsh breathe at the sight. "And the ones we hale are the worst of all…" I say to him. He looks at me quizzically, like he's mocking me. Suddenly his eyes go wide.
"How-"I cut him off by running up to him and slapping him.
"You're divergent," I say. It isn't it a question, it's a statement. His eyes go wide and he runs and grabs my wrist and pulls me after him. "Blaine let me go!" I scream but he picks me up and throws me over his shoulder. I gasp and kick my legs. "Put me down this instant," I order sternly.
He laughs at me. "Not going to happen beautiful," Blaine says. Suddenly I blush like crazy and cross my arms. We reach his room and he opens the door and throws me on the bed. I look up at him pissed off.
"How do you know that?" he asks me harshly his hazel eyes burning into my mind like a fire had been lit in them.
I stutter at first. "I am divergent," I tell him. "I heard you singing that in the shower and Tori told me this hint. And the ones we hale are the worst of all," I say.
Blaine watches me alert and confused. My breathe catches in my throat as he sits next to me and our thighs touch. He takes a deep puff of air before talking. "We can't talk here. Meet me at the net at 12:00. Got it?" he asks.
I nod sharply at him. He pats my back and tells me to go. I walk out of them room and go to the chasm where Puck, Santana, Uriah and the rest of the gang are. "Hey guys," I say when I reach them.
"Sup dude," Uriah says hitting my arm. I scream a little high pitched. "Oh fuck Kurt I'm so sorry! How can I make it up to you?" he asks jokingly bouncing his eyebrows up and down. I laugh and shove him away. We all giggle softly before we all turn to the chasm.
I look away to see Blaine stroll in and we lock eyes. His eyes read me like I'm an open book as if he has to focus to read every detail. I stare back and smile lightly at him, and he mirrors my actions. I look down and blush and listen to the pounding of the water smashing against the chasm walls.
After standing there silently we head to the cafeteria to get some dinner. I listen to our shoes connect with the floor creating little taps on the stone floor. When we get our table I sit between Christina and Santana. I comment on Christina's shoes which then erupts into conversation about the dauntless styles. We chat for a while on various topics.
When Eric walks in and tells us we should get to bed because we will need to e focused tomorrow we head to bed. Everybody is silent when we get to the room. It's awkward because they either like me, or like Dave. We climb into bed and everybody closes their eyes but I sit awake.
Time passes slowly as a wait to 12:00 o'clock to finally reach me. I stare at the ceiling letting my mind wander. What will Blaine tell me tonight? What will he do? Will he answer my questions? Did he know I was divergent? Does he like me? All those questions swarm my thoughts like angry bees escaping a nest.
As more endless hours creep up on me, the clock finally reads 11:55. I slowly crawl down the ladder of my bed and cringe lightly when everybody stirs in their sleep. Luckily everybody stays where they are and no eyes peel open. I sigh in relief and walk slowly and silently out of the quiet room that is only filled with occasional snores. When I get out of the room the door clicks shut and I squeal when a hand covers my mouth and a body presses against my back.
"Relax," laughs Blaine, his breathe dancing across my ear, making me shiver. "Is it cold in here," he breathes out.
He moves his hand off my mouth and I turn around quickly. "Don't scare me like that," I order.
"Sorry," he says raising his hand is surrender letting a light smile cross his lips. We both laugh a little before he reaches down and grabs my hand. "Come on," he says tugging my hand toward him. We run down the halls toward the net for awhile until I make him stop running cause I couldn't breathe. We laugh and his golden eyes light up with laughter. We stare at each other for a while and I realize were still holding hands.
I look down embarrassed before quickly pulling my hand away. Blaine's eyebrows nit together in confusion. His hand goes to the back his head. "I'm sorry he mumbles.
My eyes go wide and I look up at him. Blue eyes meet golden ones and I open my mouth. "Don't be sorry," I tell him. We walk the rest of the way silently through the cold hallways.
When we reach the net I finally ask him. "Why did you want to meet me out here?"
"I wanted to make sure know body could hear us out here," he says. He hesitates and leans on the net. "Yes," is all he says.
"Wait, what?" I ask him. I walk over to the net and lay against it, looking at him.
He looks back at me and answers. "I'm divergent," he tells me. "I couldn't tell you earlier because they could've heard us."
I stop my foot frustrated. "Who the hell is they?!" I shout. Blaine throws his hand over my mouth again.
"Keep your voice down. 'They' is the government. Such as Jeanine Matthews," my eyes go wide and scared as everything makes more sense. "I'm going to move my hand away. Can you be quiet?" he asks. I nod my head quickly, and he moves his hand away. I jump up and sit on the net and roll into the middle. He laughs at me and jumps up and lies next to me.
"Why do they not like divergent's?" I ask him. He turns his head and we stare at each other as we both focus and study each other's faces.
"We threaten the system," he says putting air quotes as he tells me.
"How?" I say confused wondering how we threaten the system.
"Jeez you're just filled with questions," he tells me and laughs. I smile at him a little.
"Yes I am," I answer. Then he smiles. Full out smiles and joy takes over his face. It's the first time I've ever seen him show full emotion.
"Well, they think that sense we aren't fully capable of choosing where we would like to stay. But I think that's special. In a world like this, what makes you different makes you dangerous. And if being dangerous means that I can be different, I want to be dangerous," he tells me. I smile at that. Blaine is different and that what I love about him. WAIT WHAT? DID I JUST THINK THAT'S WHAT I LOVE ABOUT HIM? HOLY FUCK.
"Ye-yeah," is all I can say. "Why are you always so sheltered?" I ask him. His head snaps up and he looks nervous.
"I um," is all he says. "I'll tell you someday," he tells me. His hand reaches down and grabs mine. "I promise,"
I take in a breathe and close my eyes for a minute. We lock eyes and his sparkle. They grow darker and it looks like he has something on his mind. I open my mouth but shut it. "What do you want, Kurt?"
My mouth goes dry but nothing stops me from saying it. "You," I mumble. He automatically launches at me.
His lips connect with mine my body fills with warmth at the sudden protection and closeness I feel to him in that minute. We lay there with our lips attached not moving them. We pull back and I stare at him. His pupils are dilated with lust and I'm positive mine are to. "Why did you stop?" I ask with a pout.
"Did you want me to kiss you more?" he teases me. I laugh at his goofy look.
"Yes," I say my pout growing bigger.
"Then I'll just kiss that pout away," he says tapping my nose. His mouth is on mine again and I smile. This is happening. He's kissing me and I'm so happy I could cry I think to myself but snap out of my thoughts and I moan as his tongue licks across my bottom lip asking for entrance. I open my mouth wider and out tongues dance together. We both moan and suddenly my body needs more.
My hands move to the back of his head and I tug on his hair slightly. He moves his mouth away and kisses down my neck. My breathing gets frantic and I moan even louder than before. "Mmm Kurt you have no idea what you do to me," he mumbles against my neck.
"Blaine," I say in a broken whimper and his mouth covers mine again. It's soft and sweet and we pull apart after that. He kisses m neck again and I throw my head back. I see somebody quickly turn around and run. I couldn't see who it was. "Blaine," I say tapping his shoulder as he lays love bites up and down my neck.
"Relax babe I got you," he tells me. I sit up and he gets off me.
"I swear somebody just was standing there," I whisper to him. He looks at me confused and realizes how bad I'm panicking.
He crawls over to me and takes me in his arms. "Relax there's nobody there," he tells me. I look up at him quickly.
"I know a person when I see one. That was a person," I hiss at him pointing to where I saw the man.
"Whoever it was they're gone now. We can stop if you want," he tells me. I nod and he pulls me in his arms and we lay there with my head on his chest as he strokes my back slowly up and down. I sigh and bury my face in his neck.
"Have you had a boyfriend before?" I ask him.
He laughs a little before nodding. "Yeah," he says. "When I was an initiate but that's over now," he explains.
I nod. "Have you um…" I hesitate before asking.
"Have I what?" he asks me wondering. I take in a breathe.
"Have you had sex before?" I rush out blushing and burying my face farther in his neck. He laughs slightly.
"Yes," he says. "Plenty times," he tells me. "You?" he asks.
I go bright red. But then I remember. "Umm, not really," I tell him. He looks at me confused.
"What do you mean not really?" he asks me concerned. His eyes are sparkling from the moonlight.
I take sigh and think before I say anything. Courage is the word I repeat in my head. "I was…forced," I tell him. He shoots up and looks at me. Were both sitting up now and my eyes go wide.
"Kurt, I'm so, so, so sorry. I had no idea I never should have forced you to make out with me," I cut him off.
"Blaine calm down. I wanted to make out with you," I tell him smiling. He sighs in relief and relaxes a little.
"Who was it?" he asks. I take in a terrified breathe and close my eyes.
"David Karowsky," I mumble. A tear falls down my face and Blaine jumps over to cradle me in his arms. I sob into his chest and he strokes my back and whispers sweet nothings into my ear. I grip his shirt so tight and sob harder than I ever had before. "Please don't leave me now," I whimper. "Please," I plead brokenly.
"I don't plan on it," he tells me and kisses my forehead.
As my sobs die down I pull away and he wipes my tears. "You're perfect Kurt. Don't let anyone tell you otherwise. I smile at him and another tear falls off my cheek and he kisses it away.
I don't think before I tackle him down on the net and kiss him again. He moans and my tongue slips inside his mouth. His hand lies on the middle of my thigh and the other wrests in my hair. He flips us over and pushes me into the net to start sucking on my neck. "Blaineeeee," I whine helpless as my body becomes overwhelmed with pleasure and I feel my pants tighten. "Fuck Blaine please," I whimper.
He pulls back at the pleading tone in my voice. "We have to cool down, Kurt," he tells me and rubs his hand across my cheek.
"You straddling me really isn't helping," I tell him blushing as I bite my lip. He laughs and roles off and we lay there staring at the stars, our hands folded around each others.
Home, I think to myself as Blaine pulls me closer and I bury my face in his neck just to breathe him in.