Author's Note: I don't own Supernatural.

I do own Ember though. Pleeeeeeaaaassseeee leave reviews! Review and Castiel comes to your door!

March 21

Perhaps Uriel would have more answers about what had happened with the devil's trap. Uriel was sitting on a park bench with his eyes closed when Castiel found him. "Castiel, I received revelation from our superiors," he said, sensing Castiel's presence. "Our brothers and sisters are dying and they...they want us to stop hunting the demon responsible."

This was yet another bit of confusing information passed down from above… another in a long train of confusing orders. Castiel sat down next to Uriel on the bench.

"Something is wrong up there," Uriel said. "I mean, can you feel it?"

Was Uriel expressing doubt? "The murders," Castiel said. "Maybe they aren't demonic. Sam Winchester said the demons had nothing to do with it."

"If not the demons, what could it be?" Uriel asked.

"The will of Heaven," Castiel answered. "We are failing, Uriel. We are losing the war. Perhaps the Garrison is being punished."

"You think our Father would—…"

"I think maybe our Father isn't giving the orders anymore," Castiel said, finally expressing, for the first time, the doubt that he had been feeling for the past 20 years. "Maybe there is something wrong."

Uriel stood up, and for a second Castiel thought that perhaps Uriel would turn him into the authorities for his doubts. Or perhaps even kill him?

But Uriel had a fire in his eyes, and Castiel got the feeling they were on the same page for once. "Well, I won't wait to be gutted," Uriel proclaimed, and vanished.

March 22

Castiel had checked on Dean, then spent several hours considering what to do. Uriel must have kept silent about Castiel's doubts, or else Castiel would have been tracked down and punished by now. What was Uriel going to do? Something drastic, Castiel could tell.

And Anna… Anna had said that someone else in Heaven was helping her. How many other angels were like him, and had doubts but were too scared to act upon them?

Finally, in a desperate move, Castiel sought out the only person he knew would be completely honest with him.

"Decided to kill me after all?" Anna said, appearing behind him.

"I'm alone," he said.

"What do you want from me, Castiel?"

"I'm considering disobedience," Castiel confessed.

Anna nodded. "Good."

"No, it isn't," said Castiel. "For the first time, I feel..." He trailed off, looking away from her in his anguish.

"It gets worse," Anna said. "Choosing your own course of action is confusing, terrifying." Anna put her hand on Castiel's shoulder. He stared at it in surprise, and she dropped it, clearly remembering the last time she had touched him.

"That's right," she said. "You're too good for my help. I'm just trash. A walking blasphemy." Anna turned to walk away.

"Anna," Castiel said, pleading. "I don't know what to do. Please tell me what to do."

Anna turned back. "Like the old days?" she asked. "No. I'm sorry. It's time to think for yourself." And his last hope disappeared.

March 23

Anna had told him to think for himself.

So, Castiel examined the devil's trap. He noticed the faucet dripping, and realized that was what had broken the devil's trap. The trap had been tampered with. But who-

Uriel. He wasn't going to do something drastic… he had already done it.

"You called?" Uriel asked after Castiel had summoned him. "What do you say, Castiel? Will you join me? Will you fight with me?"

An army. Uriel was putting together an army. For what?

"Strange," Castiel commented. "Strange how a leaky pipe can undo the work of angels when we ourselves are supposed to be the agents of fate."

"Alastair was much more powerful than we had imagined," Uriel said.

"No," said Castiel. "No demon can overpower that trap. I made it myself." He knew Uriel was lying. "We've been friends for a long time, Uriel. Fought by each other's sides, served together away from home, for what seems like forever. We're brothers, Uriel. Pay me that respect. Tell me the truth."

Uriel smiled, and it was a truly evil smile. "The truth is, the only thing that can kill an angel...is another angel." Uriel brought out his angel sword.

"You," Castiel said. He hadn't wanted to believe it.

"I'm afraid so," Uriel confirmed.

"And you broke the devil's trap, set Alastair on Dean."

"Alastair should never have been taken alive. Really inconvenient, Cas. Yes, I did turn the screw a little. Alastair should have killed Dean and escaped, and you should have gone on happily scapegoating the demons."

"For the murders of our kin?" Castiel said. He couldn't believe it. Uriel had Fallen as well, much farther than Anna. Tearing out one's grace and casting oneself out of Heaven was one thing. But killing other angels? This was a different thing entirely. And yet Uriel was walking around in Heaven, a fully active and functional angel, not hunted like Anna.

How many others were there like Uriel, working in secret? How could God have allowed this?

"Not murders, Castiel. No. My work is conversion," Uriel said. "How long have we waited here? How long have we played this game by rules that make no sense?"

"It is our Father's world, Uriel," Castiel reminded him.

"Our Father? He stopped being that, if he ever was, the moment he created them. Humanity, his favorites. This whining, puking larva."

No. Castiel would not believe this. Humanity wasn't the smartest, and they were flawed, but they were not so bad. "Are you trying to convert me?"

"I wanted you to join me," Uriel answered. "And I still do. With you, we can be powerful enough to—…"

"To?"

"To raise our brother."

"Lucifer," Castiel confirmed, horrified. It was worse, even, than he'd thought. Uriel was working for the Apocalypse. How many others? How many others had Fallen, but still remained around him? How many others had disobeyed their Father's orders?

"You do remember him?" Uriel asked. "How strong he was? How beautiful? And he didn't bow to humanity. He was punished for defending us. Now, if you want to believe in something, Cas, believe in him."

"Lucifer is not God," Castiel insisted.

"God isn't God anymore," Uriel snapped. "He doesn't care what we do. I am proof of that."

"But this?" Castiel said, still trying to wrap his head around it. "What were you gonna do, Uriel? Were you gonna kill the whole Garrison?"

"I only killed the ones who said no," Uriel said, "Others have joined me, Cas. Now, please, brother, don't fight me. Help me. Help me spread the word. Help me bring on the Apocalypse. All you have to do is be unafraid."

"For the first time in a long time, I am," said Castiel. Uriel would kill him, perhaps. And that was fine, because he was not going to help with the Apocalypse – he would never bring back Lucifer. Never. If this was what the world was coming to, then he would not be a part of it. He was not afraid to die.

Uriel smiled. He wasn't prepared when Castiel punched him through the wall several feet away. He recovered quickly, however, and hit Castiel with a metal bar.

Castiel had never expected to beat his brother: Castiel was a better strategist and a better leader, but they were equal in fighting skills and power, Castiel knew. Castiel's power had been depleted by the fight with Alastair, however, which ultimately gave Uriel the advantage. Still, he would never join him, either. "You can't win, Uriel. I still serve God."

"You haven't even met the man." Uriel punched him. "There is no will." Punch. "No wrath!" Punch. "No God."

But Uriel didn't see Anna, who had crept up behind him. "Maybe not," she said, stabbing Uriel in the neck with an angel blade. "But there's still me."

And then Uriel was dead.

March 30

Between the fight with Alastair and the fight with Uriel, Castiel's healing abilities had been depleted, and had not yet returned. It was the worst possible timing, as Dean was in a coma from the same fight with Alastair, and had not yet awakened.

On the positive side, Castiel had been cleared of the suspicion of being too close to the Winchesters. He was allowed to immediately resume his post as guardian, which he did with more enthusiasm than he allowed himself to outwardly express. Nine days after the incident with Alastair, Castiel was tipped off by a fellow angel that the demons knew of Dean's location, and flew to his side immediately.

Dean was still in the hospital, and Ember was just drifting off to sleep, invisible, in the bed next to him when Castiel arrived.

"You've got a lot of nerve showing up," she told him, awakening immediately when she saw him. Even if he hadn't been able to see her (which he could), Castiel still would have been able to identify her by the pleasant feeling he felt whenever she was around. It calmed him, but it also excited him in ways he didn't understand.

"We've heard a rumor that the demons know where Dean is," said Castiel. "I came to watch over him while he is vulnerable, but it seems you already have that covered."

"Yeah, thanks but no thanks," snapped Ember. "We warded the whole place against demons from day 1, but I'm still here just in case."

They were silent for a long time, nearly two hours. It was painfully uncomfortable for Castiel. He tried to remind himself that he didn't really care what Ember thought of him – she was still a half-demon, after all, if a somewhat virtuous one.

Finally, just when Castiel was considering leaving, he began to sense that Dean was awakening. Finally. "Are you alright?" he asked.

"No thanks to you," Dean said hoarsely.

"You need to be more careful," said Castiel.

"You need to learn to manage a damn devil's trap," Dean replied.

"That's not what I mean," said Castiel. Then he added, "Uriel is dead."

"Was it the demons?" asked Dean.

"It was disobedience," Castiel said. "He was working against us."

"Is it true?" Dean asked suddenly. "Did I break the first seal?"

Castiel looked at Ember briefly. Should he say these things in front of her? Dean would tell her anyway, Castiel supposed, what with them being… involved.

"Yes," said Castiel. "When we discovered Lilith's plan for you, we laid siege to Hell. And we fought our way to get to you before you…"

"Jump-started the Apocalypse," Dean finished.

"But we were too late," Castiel said. And why had they been too late? Whose job had it been to keep an eye on the prospective "righteous man?" It wasn't as though there had been that many candidates.

"Why didn't you just leave me there then?" Dean asked miserably.

"It's not… blame that falls on you, Dean," Castiel explained. "It's fate. And the righteous man who begins it… is the only one who can finish it. You have to stop it."

"Lucifer?" asked Dean with horror. "The Apocalypse? What does that mean?"

Castiel squirmed uncomfortably. "Hey!" Dean yelled at him. "Don't you go disappearing on me, you son of a bitch! What does that mean?"

"I don't know," said Castiel.

"Bull!" Dean yelled.

"I don't," whispered Castiel. "Dean, they don't tell me much. I know… how our fate rests with you."

"Well then you guys are screwed," Dean said, not looking at Castiel. "I can't do it, Cas. It's too big. Alastair was right. I'm not all here. I'm not – I'm not strong enough. I guess I'm not the man either of our dads wanted me to be. Find someone else. It's not me."

Castiel looked at him sadly, but said nothing. How had the angels failed so horribly?

April 4

When Castiel next went to see Domiel, he was surprised to find a different angel in Domiel's usual seat. This angel was called Zachariah. Castiel had only met him twice, but knew of him by name and reputation. He was too ambitious for an angel, some had said.

"Where is Domiel?"

"You would do better to address your superiors with more respect," Zachariah said with a sly grin.

"My apologies," Castiel said. "I was simply alarmed at her absence."

"As well you should be," Zachariah said. "Domiel was killed this morning in battle."

Castiel felt as though the bottom had fallen out from under him. He had never felt grief like this, except for when Anna had fallen, and not even then. Thousands of years they had served together… thousands."

"Don't dismay," Zachariah said, waving his hand as though he couldn't care less. "She died a good death, fighting for the seals."

No. That was wrong. "Domiel hasn't been in battle since she was made a Corporal," Castiel protested. "Can you tell me under what circumstances she was killed?"

Zachariah shot him a look of pure annoyance, then covered it up quickly. "She was killed in battle. I have not been privy to more information." Zachariah was a bureaucrat, and a bad liar, Castiel decided.

"You have new orders," Zachariah continued. "For the time being, you will cease your duties of guarding the Winchesters and focus completely on protecting the seals."

Castiel felt a stab of anger. "Who will be guarding the Winchesters?"

"They will be guarded, don't worry," he said evasively. "You will still be called upon if an angel needs to speak with them directly. As much as you have overstepped your boundaries with your previous charges, it has been proven useful in that they will respond more positively to you as a liaison. At least… so my superiors tell me." It was obvious that Zachariah himself either didn't agree or didn't care.

"Domiel said that I was cleared of suspicions," Castiel protested, against his better judgment.

"Not mine," Zachariah said. "Castiel, you are dismissed."

Castiel stood there, seething with anger. He didn't know what to say. He didn't know what to think.

Finally, Zachariah looked up at him once again. "Do you have any further questions?"

"No," Castiel said, and he was unable to resist shooting Zachariah a dirty look before leaving.