chapter 4: Hurtful Feelings
DISCLAIMER: I DO NOT OWN ALL SAINTS IT IS OWNED BY CHANNEL 7 AUSTRALIA
A/N: Italics are the persons thoughts
Steve's phone rang as he watched her taken away from the room, he picked it up and tried to hold it together for himself and for when Jo woke up, he answered his phone hearing the familiar voice on the other end
"Steve, how's Jo?" Mike asked with a concerned tone
"Mike, I want you in surgery, Jo needs it, she's miscarried" Steve said sadly on the phone
"Okay, I'll be there straight away" Mike said racing out the door and hanging up the phone
(….)
Steve was pacing the outside of the room, he kept checking through the window to see what was happening. He leant against the wall and slid down it resting his head against the wall, he let out a loud sigh as his thoughts were immersed with Jo. He could hear the distant high heel tap on the ground; he slowly turned his head to the side to see Gabby walking down the corridor. He slowly got up making his way to Gabby.
"Hey, I heard about the baby" Gabby said sadly as she placed her hand on his shoulder "Where you with her..You know. When it happened?"
"Yeah, she's going to be distraught. I'm so worried about her mental state now" Steve said with a concerned tone in his voice
"Well, she's got you Steve" Gabby said trying to ease his concerns
"I've all she's got Gabby; she's got no-one else. Her brother is in another state, and she won't want me to call him, her parents died when she was only young, and Adams left her" Steve said becoming more concerned
"Steve, she will be okay" Gabby said comforting Steve as he took a seat on the chair
"I don't know" Steve sunk into his chair
"You know what she's like Steve. Next moment she'll be yelling at you to get a move on at the next rescue or giving you a lecture on eating healthy" Gabby slowly walked of leaving him alone, she knew it was for the best. Mike was just finishing with Jo's surgery and hour and a half later; they slowly wheeled her out, Steve running over to Mike, who was washing his hands in the basin
"How'd it go?" Steve asked with suspense
"Yeah good" Mike sighed
Steve could sense something wrong with Mikes tone in voice "What's wrong" Steve asked panicking
Mike took a deep breathe in and exhaled loudly "She hemorrhaged, but we got it under control, she needs a blood transfusion"
Steve's face dropped and turned pale "Shit"
"She'll be okay. I'll come up in a few hours to check the incision" Mike said before walking out of the washroom and heading down the corridor and into the lifts, Steve followed closely behind leaving Mike to travel to the HQ while Steve got off at Jo's ward. He walked through the corridors finally finding Jo's room, he peeped through the window to see Jo lying there motionless, he quietly opened the door, he knew he wouldn't wake her as she was still under her anesthetic, but he didn't want to take the risk. Steve got a seat and pulled it close to her bed, he sat back and placed his hand onto Jo's, he was holding it to make her feel comfortable, he didn't want her waking up to a nurses face, he wanted their to be someone familiar and someone she felt safe and protected with. Come on Jo, your strong. Your though, your Jo Mathieson, nothing ever stops you, you never let anything defeat you
An hour passed after Jo's surgery, she was slowly coming out of her anesthetic, she began to stir, not enough to wake her up but enough to show Steve she was waking up, her color had improved since he last saw her in her darkest moments. He gently rubbed her forehead. The feeling of darkness startled Jo, she didn't realize what was happening, slowly opening her eyes, to see Steve sitting beside her, she gripped onto his hand, the warmth and re-assuring tightness of his hand holding back made her feel protected until it all came crashing around her
"Hey…" Steve said softly and calmly, Jo started to moan in the pain she was feeling, her whole body was aching
"Steve?" Jo asked trying to adjust her eyes to the bright lights
"Yeah it's me" Steve rubbed her arm for comfort, he peered down at his young paramedic
"How's my baby?" Jo asked feeling her stomach, she stopped when she felt a large bandage on her stomach, Steve watched as she tried to figure out what was happening. Steve started to shake his head, tears welled up in his eyes.
"You started bleeding again…. I'm so sorry Jo…you lost the baby" Steve tried to say as softly and gentle as he could without her falling to pieces he watched as her face turned into an emotional wreck, her eyes filled with tears, her heart felt like it had been ripped right out of her chest, her little baby had been taken away from her
"No" Jo said crying "No..No" She began shouting "NO!" one final time before falling to pieces
"I'm so sorry" Steve's heart plummeted into his stomach when he saw her hysterical, he reached to give her a hug but was pushed away, the fieriness had unleashed in a rage of fury. She began to cry hysterically. Jo rolled over to her side turning her back to Steve, she pulled a pillow away from the back of her head, and placed it next to her, her head buried into the pillow as it became wet with the tears that fell from her eyes.
"Jo…You don't need to do this alone. I'm here" Steve said as he rubbed her back. Jo squirmed making Steve stop
"Leave me alone" Jo said shakily as she closed her eyes
"I'm not leaving you alone" Steve said re-placing his hand on her back
Turning to Steve she screamed at the top of her lungs "Leave me alone!" she picked up her pillow and threw it at Steve, she sat on the hospital bed on her knees breathing in and out deeply and loudly, he head buried in her hands, her loud screams could be heard from outside her room.
"It's okay" Steve said as he held her to his chest against her will. She pushed of and started to hit her two hands that turned into fists against Steve's chest screaming for him to leave her alone. He grabbed her by the wrists and pulled her in tightly, her head buried in his chest, he placed his hand against her head and the other supporting her back, he started rubbing it in a circular pattern to make her feel safe and comfortable, her loud cries and tears that fell onto his shirt made him see her in a different perspective. He put his forehead against the top of her head and gave her a soft kiss on her hair. He held her like that for the next two hours sitting on her bed; she slipped into a light sleep a few minutes later. He gently lied her back down onto the bed, covering her with the warm blanket. At that present moment Mike walked in making Steve turn around, he saw that Steve had watery eyes, Steve quickly turned back to show he was getting emotionally attached
"You should go get a coffee or something. She'll be fine for fifteen minutes, plus I'll be here" Mike said as he walked closer to Jo's bed.
"No, I can't leave her" Steve said as placed his hand on her stomach and watched her sleep
"I saw what happened earlier, the screaming and all, the nurses were going to sedate her, but I saw you had her under control" Mike said as he peeled the bandage of Jo's stomach and checked her incision
"I didn't think she'd act this way" Steve spoke softly rubbing her head
"She has another side to her, she doesn't let anyone see" Mike said as he placed the blanket back over her, to keep her warm
"Yeah" Steve said keeping it short and simple
"Do you want me to stay?" Mike asked concerned, he was just as worried as Steve, but knew that Jo and Steve had a special friendship and didn't want to get in the way.
"No, it's okay. I'll see you tomorrow" Steve said waving him off. Mike walked out and headed back for the HQ. Adam was walking through to the HQ when Mike arrived on the level
"Where's Steve?" Adam asked confused
"His with Jo" Mike's tone angered, he started picking up his bags and headed for the door
"Why?" Adam asked out of interest while he walked out with Mike, as he locked the door
"Because Jo has no-one to grieve with" Mike said angered, as he knew what Adam did to Jo. Well in fact the whole hospital did. It was the news of the week
"She has me" Adam said as he stopped Mike pulling his arm
"She doesn't have you Adam, you left her, you made the choice, now let go of my arm" Mike said angered as he looked at his arm
"She's just ugh…" Adam tried to explained letting go of his arm
"They nearly had to sedate her Adam. She was a wreck. Thank god Steve calmed her a bit. You could hear her screaming from the lifts, that is not like Jo, you've basically broken her" Mike tone annoyed and upset as the lift doors closed on Adam. He didn't feel one bit of guilt through his body, he continued on his way back down to the E.D. Steve sat slumped back in his seat. Jo started to moan in her sleep, and became restless, kicking the sheets and her blanket of her, she started screaming for her baby. Steve hoped up and started gently shaking her.
"Jo. It's just a dream" Steve said trying to calm her down. Jo wouldn't listen and became more agitated when Steve wouldn't let her see her baby.
"Please. I want an ultra sound" Jo begged. She had totally forgot what happened, and became hysterical when Steve had to go through the whole situation with her again. Steve sat with her and rubbed her back until she went to sleep, it took well over three hours for her to calm down and go to sleep.
(…..)
As the bright sunlight blinded through the window, Jo slowly opening her eyes, her doona felt heavy, as her eyes adjusted to the light, she saw that Steve had fallen asleep next to her legs; his body sit slumped over the bed. Jo tried to move but didn't want to wake Steve, she could hear the footsteps coming closer, she looked as the door opened to find Mike walking through. He laughed at Steve sleeping half on the chair, half on her bed.
"Comfy?" He joked as he picked up her chart and studied it, "You okay? You're temperatures up a bit; your BP's a little low too" Mikes face soon turned from laughing to a seriously concerned look.
Jo sighed "I'm fine, I want to go home" She rolled her eyes and continued on "I hate having doctor friends, always freaking out when you're sick" Becoming agitated, she accidently kicked her leg waking Steve up.
"Hey, you're awake" Steve said happily as he noticed she wasn't crying or anything
"Yes. And if you wouldn't mind, I want to go home…Actually. I want to go back to work. Today" Jo smiled sneakily as she picked up her blanket and pulled it up closer to her face
"No" Mike and Steve said in sync, both reaching for Jo's blanket, to pull down
"Ah..Just need to check her incision" Mike said continuing on pulling down the blanket
"Yeah...Was just going to do the same" Steve said pulling away and sitting back into his chair as he watched Jo pick at her bandage
"Really..Guys. Really?" Jo asked rolling her eyes "You're acting as though I've got some disease that is going to kill me. I'm fine, I lost my baby…." It started to hit Jo again, what had happened, she starred at one spot on her blanket and wouldn't move her eyes off it as the tears ran down her cheek. Mike continued checking the incision and touched her stomach to see if it still hurt, he softly touched her ribs, which made Jo flinch.
"I'll get you discharged later today If your lucky, as long as your temperature goes down and BP go up, but no work for a week" Mike said as he filled out her chart and stood at the end of her bed watching and waiting for her reaction
"Good. But I'll be in tomorrow for work" Jo smirked hoping for a yes
"No, next week and that's pushing it. Don't think that you'll be cliff hanging or abseiling for another four" Mike said giving her a stern look
"His right Jo, and if was us sitting in this bed, you'd say the exact same thing" Steve added narrowing his eyes to Jo
Jo sighed "Gah! Fine" glaring at Mike, he smiled and walked out, Steve still sat with her waiting for the right moment to leave
"You going to be okay?" Steve asked concerned as he had witnessed her saddest moments, and never seen her act like that before as he rubbed her leg
"Yeah. I will be" She said softly as she smiled to let Steve know it was going to be okay, "Go, you need a shower and food, you've been with me for ages" She added ushering him off
"I'll come and see you when you get discharged, I'll drive you home" Steve told her as she sat up comfily
"Steve, I can drive home by myself, now go. Before I have to make you" She added moving her waving her hand towards the door
"Would like to see you try and push me out" Steve said joking around, he walked out and Jo tried to find a comfy position in the bed. She sighed as she couldn't find one, and studied the roof; there was nothing better to do
(….)
As the hours went passed Jo had had a shower and changed back into her normal clothes, she had just got out of bed when Adam walked into her room. He glared at her making her feel uneasy
"What?" Jo said glaring at Adam in the doorway. He made his way to Jo, he stood beside he and placed his hand on her face and brought her facing him "Don't" She said fiercely
"Excuse me" Adam said becoming angry, he pulled her into him roughly, she cringed in pain as her ribs hit his stomach. Ouch! Shit that really hurt.She tried to back away from him but he griped her wrists and wouldn't allow her to go.
"Let go of me" Jo said struggling. "Let go you asshole" Adam turned and slapped her across the face, Jo flinched "What the hell!" She shouted pulling away from him "Leave me alone"
"You bitch. Telling everyone that I didn't want anything to do with the baby or you, how dare you" Adam glared at Jo walking towards her, making Jo walk backwards into a wall
"I only told Steve & Mike, they must have told others" She replied, tears ran down her face
"I'm glad you lost the baby, you don't deserve happiness" Adam scoffed before he walked out leaving Jo alone and upset. She took a deep breath in as her bottle lip began to tremble. She leant against the bed as she tried to hold it together. Walking to the nurses' station to hand in her discharge papers, she saw Steve walking towards her; she sighed as he knew he would recognize the bruise on her face; thanking the nurse and walking over to Steve, Jo started to take deep breaths Please don't notice..Please. Taking a deep sigh, she raised her face, Steve's face dropped as he saw the bruise on her face.
"What happened?" Steve said moving his hand to Jo's face to touch her bruise; she flinched and moved away as he touched her.
"Don't.." She mumbled lowering her head. Steve started shaking his head.
"What. What happened?" Steve asked as he stood starring at her bruise
"Nothing... It's from the accident" Jo spoke softly
"No, it's not. Who did this to you?" Steve asked shocked and ready to thrash who ever hurt her.
"…Adam" Jo sobbed as the tears fell down her face. Steve's eyes turned green with envy, his body turned tense. "Come on lets go" Steve said placing his arm around her lower back and helping her to the lift. I'll kill him. I will seriously kill him, he has already done enough to Jo. Jo looked up to Steve who was staring at her "What are you thinking about?" Jo asked out of curiosity
"Nothing" Steve shot back turning his attention to the doors that opened to the E.D. Steve ushered Jo out first, he searched the E.D for Adam, before his vision could see him standing at the desk talking to Claire.
Steve rushed over, nearly knocking Jo out of the way. He pulled Adam who had his back to him to face him, pulled his arm up and punched him knocking him onto the ground. Jo watched in horror, as Frank came up behind her. Steve picked Adam back up by the scruff of his neck and pushed him into the front desk.
"Taylor!" Frank shouted making Jo jump
"What the hell!" Adam shouted, before he was knocked back onto the ground
"You make me sick, pricks like you deserve everything bad to happen to you" Steve snarled before walking back to Jo and leading her out of the E.D doors…
Since there are not many reviews, im thinking of ending it here.