-- Walk Five Seasons --
(With My Cane)

Bundle of Joy

"Is it just me, or has she been bitchier than usual lately?" House asked, gesturing vaguely toward the door to Wilson's office... which Cuddy had slammed shut behind her on her way out, after yelling at them both over House's latest antics.

"Maybe her leg hurts," Wilson replied sarcastically.

"Her leg always hurts," House said contemplatively, "and she's never been this bitchy before. So it's obviously something else..."

"Maybe you're just annoying her more than usual lately?" Wilson suggested, sounding a bit irritated himself.

"I'm annoying her the exact same amount that I usually do, maybe even a little less," House said. "And if you were wondering, yes, I do keep track. So that can't be it."

"Maybe your new team is getting on her nerves," Wilson said. "God knows, the constant sniping gets a little old when you're stuck listening to it day in and day out. I still can't believe you hired Amber."

"Hey, you could at least get her name right!" House said, as though he were offended by Wilson's use of Amber's non-nick name. "It's Cutthroat Bitch."

"And does Taub feel left out, not having a cute nickname?" Wilson asked sarcastically.

"Actually, I think he's just waiting for Thirteen and Cutthroat Bitch to finally break down and have a catfight..."

"Don't you have a case?"

"Oh, right... wouldn't want to miss the catfight if it does happen." And with a grin and a wink, House went back to his own office to head up the differential diagnosis.

It was a few days later when House actually figured out the cause of Cuddy's recent extra-bitchiness.

"You're pregnant."

She looked confused by the sudden announcement, especially since she'd been in the middle of lecturing his team for nearly crippling a patient with an unapproved risky procedure.

"What? No, I'm not," she said, once House's statement sunk in.

She couldn't be pregnant - there were certain physical requirements that she hadn't met. She hadn't even had sex with anyone recently. Well, she vaguely recalled a few drunken hookups... with women. Recently she'd taken to medicating her troubles with alcohol and recreational drugs, partying hard, coming to work hungover. But she'd stopped a few months ago. After House threatened to fire Thirteen if she didn't straighten out, Cuddy had lost her connection to the party circuit.

Cuddy's eyes flicked to Thirteen. She was sure the younger woman had never informed House about them going to wild parties together, but maybe she was wrong and House did know...?

"Who's the father?" House asked, ignoring her denial of the pregnancy.

Cuddy's eyes flicked to Thirteen again, and this time Thirteen took the opportunity to mouth Chase. Cuddy's eyes widened. Chase? Seriously? She didn't remember ever sleeping with him.

"I don't know. Maybe Chase?" she answered tentatively.

"Maybe?" House asked, eyebrows raised. "You don't even know who you slept with? Or, there's so many you just aren't sure which one the father is?"

"No, I'm sure it must be Chase," Cuddy answered, more confidently this time.

"Cause your manwhores are always careful about using condoms, and two women can't get each other pregnant," House said.

He's just guessing, he doesn't really know for sure. If I deny it, or yell at Thirteen, it'll just confirm his suspicions.

Out loud she said, "It doesn't matter anyway because if I even am pregnant, it's not like I could carry it to term."

"Why not?" House asked in surprise. He'd always thought that Cuddy liked kids. She got along fine with Daniel. And it's not like she has a medical condition that would prevent her-

She interrupted his thought, "My leg."

"Last time I checked, your leg isn't your uterus," House informed her.

"I can barely walk as it is," Cuddy snapped. (In the background, Taub and Amber looked shocked at this information, and Thirteen leaned over the table to whisper to them.) "My leg wouldn't hold up under the extra weight, and I'd probably end up falling down a flight of stairs or something," she said bitterly.

"Or... your doctor could put you on bed rest after the first trimester and you could use your damn cane when you absolutely need to walk."

"I'm NOT-"

"Well, let's see what yo baby daddy thinks about all of this before you decide to kill your child," House spoke over her, and he paged Chase before she had a chance to argue.

-end of chapter 4-

A/N: Reviews are love.