She stopped herself before her thoughts got too nauseating. It was well and good that she was no longer under the dominion of a sadist; it was another thing entirely to get caught up in sappy sentiments when she had to prioritize to make the most of what time she had left.
She couldn't stay here much longer. Not unless she wanted to waste away slowly, suffering not only her own pain but that of her friends as well. She knew well how hard it was to watch the ones you loved die. She remembered the time that Kanryuu had allowed her to have a bird. She'd loved it as best she could, but he had kept it in its cage and had not given her the key. He'd fed it poorly and cleaned its cage out rarely. The thing had died miserably and he'd forced her to watch, taunting her daily that she was his own little bird, living only because he allowed her.
Again she shook her head, chasing the painful memory away. The doctor and his granddaughters had come for breakfast again, and she was determined to show that she wasn't through yet. She rose slowly and staggered to the door, leaning on the door frame to catch her breath.
"Megumisan, you shouldn't be pushing yourself so hard! Let me get one of the boys to help you at least!" Kaoru's expression was already developing into something maternal.
"No, thank you, Kaorusan. I'm going to do this on my own. I can't be dependent on you all the time." The sick woman's eyes still shone with determined pride as she looked at the mother-to-be.
Pride was something Kaoru understood, though she felt it was foolish to push one's limits. She knew better than to argue but insisted upon staying in sight, if not in reach of the other woman in order to assist.
Breakfast was relatively quiet that morning. Yahiko had gone to Taesan's restaurant, ostensibly to help Tsubame out. The good news was he did get paid for it, though the job wasn't his main reason for going. The whole neighborhood was certain that he and the young woman were on their way to a wedding. It was only a matter of time, people nodded to one another. The tall young man with spiky black hair and a passionate nature was often seen reveling in the company of the quiet, large-eyed girl who kept her own brown hair neat and her temper in check. They complemented each other as two halves of a greater whole, and though he endured much teasing at the dojo, Yahiko knew the others were happy for and supportive of him.
He didn't know about the young Oguni woman's crush on him, though Suzume knew she'd never had a chance. At breakfast, she insisted it was nothing more than a crush to her laughing sister. Megumi felt concern for the girl but Sanosuke's eyes reassured her that the debate was no different from most other mornings.
As they finished eating, the old doctor looked at Megumi shrewdly. "I'd like to give you an examination today, if I may, to see how you're progressing." The woman knew that the formality was for the sake of the others. He knew as well as she did what was happening. "Of course, it would be much easier if you were at the clinic, but I'm not going to ask you to walk that distance."
"If Sano had waited to do the shopping, I would have made him carry her for you!" Kaoru smiled at them, to show she meant it but she wouldn't push the issue.
"This one will do it," Kenshin volunteered. "There is very little to do today, with Yahiko working at the restaurant. Besides, Sano should be back soon , so Kaorudono won't be alone for long."
"Much to my regret," she muttered with a smile to soften the words.
Megumi smiled at him. "Seriously, I'm sure it wouldn't be too much trouble to get a rickshaw. If you don't mind that is. I'll help pay if that's a problem," she added, forgetting for a moment that she had nothing of her own, and little chance to earn; shadows of her old pride were gaining definition among those who cared for her.
"No," the rurouni said. "It'll give Kaorudono a chance to rest as well. Unless you'd like to come along," he said, turning to the pregnant woman.
"No, I'll be glad of the chance to get all you noisemakers out of here for a while. Besides, when Sano comes back it will give us some quiet time, and with the baby coming I suppose we should enjoy that while we can." Kaoru smiled indulgently.
"You all smile so much, don't you ever get tired of it?" Megumi grumped, but even she couldn't keep from laughing for long. She missed the troubled glances that the others sent Kenshin's way.
Shortly afterward, the dishes were cleared away. Genzaisensei motioned to Kenshin. "I know Megumisan is not going to let you carry her all the way, but when she gets tired, she won't argue. Just let her walk. She might choose to lean on you. I'd offer to do it myself, but she'd only take it as a challenge to prove herself to herself." The older man's eyes twinkled with the patience of an experienced doctor. Kenshin nodded, pushing his still long hair back off his shoulders.
He remembered the other as being taller than him, if only a little. The woman he looked at now was stooped and slight, bent by illness and ill treatment. Despite her appearance, he knew she was still six years his junior. She still had the remnants of her beauty - he had not lied when he'd told her she was still beautiful.
It had been so many years since he'd allowed himself to care even so much.
The first woman he had ever loved was dead, nearly 18 years now. It had taken him most of that time to understand her death, to understand the place she had had in his life, and that her role had been fulfilled. Now, looking at Takani Megumi, he saw not a sick, dying hag who should be too young to be so hard-used, but a strong and beautiful woman who had thus far beaten the odds, managing to avoid death for thirteen years though it hounded at her door.
Only one thing about her disturbed him deeply: she would die so soon. His instincts told him what his heart did not want to hear. He could not let himself become attached, not when he knew they would lose her. Not now.
But, her quiet strength of spirit tore at him, the way she bore her constant pain in silence and smiled though it cost her would not leave his mind at peace. The way she stubbornly pushed herself to the limits for even the smallest tasks without a complaint both impressed and frightened him. It could not do her any good to be so stubborn, and yet it was a quality he had always admired in his friend Sanosuke. How could he ask her to do less and risk her pride?
Words came to his mind, from eight years before. "Kensan is the hero who saved my life." He had panicked when she hugged him, and Kaoru had taken her wrath and jealousy out on him, as usual. He smiled to himself, nostalgia blending with bitterness as he remembered how she had left not long after. ~Ten days she stayed with us then... How can ten short days have left such an impact?~
He understood, now, but that didn't make it easier to cope. The entire situation was getting out of hand. He remembered how it had been... He had never forgiven himself, and when the call to arms had come, the battle against Shishio had begun, he had left Tokyo with only a note of thanks and a few coins...
Just then she stumbled; they were almost halfway to the clinic. She had not said a word, but her face was white and her lip bled slightly where she had bitten it.
Kenshin fought the urge to bite his own lip. While he'd been pondering his own feelings, telling himself he was respecting her pride, Megumi had been struggling simply to walk without complaint, clearly terrified of the repercussions. He'd barely even noticed her slight weight on his arm until she'd nearly collapsed.
Her eyes were closed. She looked ashamed and frightened.
"It's all right, Megumidono," he said, picking her up with ease. The old doctor watched in silence, his granddaughters exchanging a worried glance.
Megumi opened her eyes as he swung her into his arms, seeming surprised that he was there, that she was not going to be beaten for her failure.
It had been too long sine she'd been treated well. The two men shared a glance as Megumi relaxed into Kenshin's arms and rested her head on his chest.
After a moment, her eyes drifted shut once more. The rurouni kept his eyes on the road as the group walked in silence, glancing down at Megumi when she spoke.
"I used to dream you would carry me away from there, like this. You, or maybe Sanosukesan. That one of you would sweep me off my feet and rescue me, even after I ran out on you. I guess it was a little silly of me," Megumi sighed. "But it helped. I used to wonder what your friends - what did Myoujinsan call you? The Kenshingumi." Kenshin winced slightly. He never had gotten used to hearing that particular name. "What the Kenshingumi were up to, what valiant things you'd be doing. It was something that helped me keep my mind busy when Kanryuu would - would do what he did." She slid her arms up around Kenshin's neck as she fell silent. He felt her trembling and pressed his lips to the top of her head, much as he had done years ago to the two young women following, when they were little and frightened by bad dreams.
The older one held open the door to a building Megumi recognized as the clinic. Kenshin set her down on one of the beds, very carefully. She opened her eyes part way and let go of his neck with a smile.
"You're a true hero, Kensan." Her eyes drifted shut again and Genzaisensei looked at her, then at Kenshin. The younger man's face was unreadable.
"I do believe you've put her to sleep. She needs that more than anything right now." The old man grinned. "If I had known you had that effect, I would have brought you to work for me years ago!"
Suzume and Ayame giggled quietly at Kenshin's indignation. His own eyes, however, reflected the amusement in the doctor's, mingled with relief. They slipped outside to the apartment attached to the clinic. Ayame glanced at the sleeping woman as she closed the door behind her.
Later, Megumi woke to silence in a comfortable bed. Warm blankets were stretched over her and she felt better than she had - relatively speaking - since she'd first left Kanryuu's manor. She sat up slowly and looked around. Her bed was beneath a window over which a curtain had been drawn. She pulled it back and saw it was only around lunchtime.
She started to get up when Ayame walked in and saw her.
"Oh, good, you're awake! I'll go get Grandfather. Don't get up." The teenager smiled and left the room.
Megumi leaned back, feeling as though she had slept a week. Yet, judging by the sun it had been only a couple of hours at most.
Ayame came in following her grandfather. She smiled again at the woman on the bed.
"Ken-nii and Suzume are playing chess. Well, actually, Ken-nii is trying but Suzume's beating him to pieces!"
Genzaisensei smiled at his granddaughter, then at his patient. "Well, Megumisan, let's have a look at you."
With his grandchild's assistance, the doctor gave Megumi a thorough examination. Ayame herself was proving to have a knack for the medical profession. When they had completed their checkup, he chased the girl out with a sad but affectionate smile.
"I want to talk to Megumisan. Go see if you can still save Kenshinsan." Ayame nodded, smiled nervously, and left the room. "She wants to know everything about the profession but I don't think she's ready to sit in on this discussion." He did not seem inclined to elucidate, and Megumi didn't pry. "You've had some training. I'm not going to play games with you."
"I know there's no cure, Genzaisensei. I don't have much time. I've known that for a while. I did have a fair bit of training." She smiled wanly.
He nodded. "You saved Yahikokun's life. I think that's part of why he had such a hard time understanding why you left. He always regretted not having the opportunity to thank you properly. My guess is, that's one of the reasons he chose to study both Kamiya Kasshin Ryu and what he'd observed of Hiten Mitsurugi Ryu. He taught himself some of the techniques just from watching Kenshinsan, a few times."
Megumi nodded. "Kaorusan mentioned something about that. She says he's managed to blend the two rather nicely."
The other man echoed her action. "Megumisan, we can talk about Yahikokun, but we should discuss your own condition first. It's important that you take care of yourself, and I know you know what's happening to you, but when are you going to tell the others? It won't be long before they notice you aren't getting better."
"Sometimes I think they already know." Megumi sighed "None of them are fools, and they're all trained to recognize an opponent's weakness. I don't doubt they've already spotted mine." She looked down at her legs, scarcely more than slight twigs of twisted bone covered by battered skin under the thick blanket.
"You're not the enemy."
"But my weakness is evident. Genzaisensei, I'll tell them, but only if you're there. Only.. I think I'll need a few days to plan it. I can't just say, 'Oh, by the way, I'm dying. Can I help with the dishes?' It's not... I have to think about it."
She looked up as she thought she saw a flash of color at the corner of her eye, but there was no one at the door.
The old doctor nodded. "That I understand. Would you rather stay here, or go back to the dojo for now? Here it would be easier for me to help you, even though you'll probably be happier at the dojo, surrounded by friends. I can always send Ayame or Suzume to watch you- err, help you out." He looked embarrassed at his slip, though his eyes twinkled with humor. "Though I fear if I send Suzumechan, she'll be too busy watching Yahikokun instead!"
He laughed, and his patient joined in.
Finally Megumi made as though to get up, and the doctor offered her his arm. She rested her own on it, pretending it was more for courtesy than aid, and they walked out to the sitting room where Kenshin and the sisters sat.