A/N: Blah, I know it's a little late, but uh, can we talk about Tuesday's finale and how it completely ruined my inspiration to write Spboy for a few days!? I've finally come to terms with the fact that Toby does, in fact, love Spence very much, and I'm going with that for my inspiration to keep on writing.

A huge thank you to everyone who's reviewed/favorited/followed this story & another big thank you to everyone on Tumblr who's constantly sending me messages to inspire me to keep on writing. Seriously, I want to hug every single one of you and never ever let go!

Chapter Four - Emotions

The next few days seemed to pass in a blur for Spencer. Her friends came to visit her every day, coming directly after school and staying until visiting hours were over. Her parents were constantly at her side, ready to meet any request she had, a very abnormal thing for them to do in Spencer's eyes. Even Melissa spent a few nights not leaving Spencer's bedside, ready to challenge her to a game of cards or one of their made up games from their childhood. She didn't spend a lot of time talking about her memory loss, or taking pity on Spencer, and she surely didn't let her sister win any rounds of poker just because she was in the hospital, something Spencer found oddly comforting. The last thing Spencer could remember relating to her sister was fighting her over Wren. She was happy that in the time that Spencer couldn't remember, her and Melissa seemed to have been able to move on from it.

It wasn't until Spencer was cleared to leave the hospital when a visitor she was curious to see finally came to visit her. She was pulling a sweatshirt over her head, her bag packed from her two weeks spent in the hospital, ready to go home, when she heard her hospital room door opening slowly. Spencer glanced up to find Jason standing in the door way, his eyes wide, his forehead ceased with worry.

It only took a mere few seconds for Jason to realize that Spencer was awake and mostly okay before relief washed over his face as he crossed the room in two easy strides, pulling Spencer in for a bone crushing hug when he reached her. Spencer didn't react as her mind tried to wrap around the fact that Ali's brother, her supposed brother, was hugging her. It was strange, yet Spencer couldn't deny the warmth and comforting feeling the hug brought to her, as if she could feel relief washing through someone that genuinely cared that she was alive and well.

Jason could feel the hesitation on Spencer's part and reluctantly pulled away. "Thank God you're okay," he murmured softly, momentarily allowing himself to take the fact that Spencer was okay; that another family member, another person he cared about, wasn't taken from him unexpectedly. His eye locked onto Spencer's, noticing the confusion in her eyes, and frowned. "You really," he said softly. "You don't-you don't remember we're…"

"That we're siblings?" Spencer finished for him, shaking her head. "I didn't, but my friends filled me in." Spencer took a seat on her bed, her face almost expressionless. After a week in the hospital, she had grown accustom to facing surprises like discovering she had a brother. When Spencer didn't speak again, Jason carefully took a seat on the bed next to her, resisting the urge to place an arm around her in comfort. "It really don't surprise me, you know," said Spencer quietly after a moment. "Us siblings? It makes a lot of sense when you look at our personalities."

Jason let out a soft laughter. "We're wired the same way," he replied, remembering what Spencer had said to him months before.

Those five words seemed to fill Spencer with a strange sense of Déjà vu, one of the many times she's felt it, but ignored it for the time being. "How is my-excuse me, our-father handling this?"

Jason rolled his eyes. "How do you think?"

Spencer nodded her head, understanding exactly what Jason meant. "It probably explains why my parents seemed to have left that little snippet of information out when they were trying to jog my memory."

"You know they wouldn't let me come see you," said Jason, nodding his head in confirmation when Spencer gave him a curious look. "Yeah, something about seeing me is only going to further worsen your condition. It's why I'm only just seeing you now. I had to sneak in here before they noticed. They're monitoring your visitors like hawks, you know."

Spencer rolled her eyes. "They're probably doing it so they can choose to not tell me about certain secrets without any complications. I'm sorry they made it so difficult to see me. If anything, it probably would have helped me more to see you," she said, looking over at him.

Jason carefully reached out to grab onto Spencer's hand, giving it a tight squeeze. "I was so worried about you when I heard what happened. Nobody would give me any information on what was going on with you; I honestly wasn't sure if I had lost another sister or not." Jason paused for a moment, closing his eyes. He didn't like the thought that there could have been a chance that Spencer would be sitting next to him, alive. "Your friends finally called me the day after you woke up to fill me in and help me find the perfect time to sneak in to see you."

Spencer laughed. "That sounds like them," she said smiling. As far as Spencer couldn't remember, she didn't exactly have the best relationship with Jason, herself weary and untrusting towards him, yet sitting on her hospital bed with him seemed to wash away those feelings and instead fill her with feelings of comfort. It was strange, but definitely not a bad thing.

Their time was interrupted a moment later by the sound of a soft knock at the door. They both looked up to see the door opening, and Spencer felt a smile instantly spread across her lips at the visitor, a familiar face. "Wren," she breathed.

"Spencer," he said softly to her, allowing himself to smile. "Welcome back to the real world."

Unable to stop herself, Spencer stood up and pulled Wren into a hug. His arms wrapped around her instantly, and Spencer found herself pleased that at least some things hadn't changed from what she last remembered. Wren was still happy to see her.

"I'm sorry, I would have stopped in earlier to see you," said Wren as they pulled away, "but with your parents constantly around and me constantly on shift with other patients, I haven't had time to."

In the back of her mind, Spencer felt herself wondering if Wren had cared for her as much as she last remembered why he wouldn't have made a better effort to see her, but instantly pushed the thought away, too pleased to see something familiar from her life standing in front of her.

" I'll leave you guys alone for now," mumbled Jason awkwardly, standing up and heading towards the door. "I'll stop by your house later to see you," he said to her, leaving after Spencer nodded her head in agreement. He left her room, pleased that her parents still weren't standing outside her room waiting for him to leave, but shocked when he found Toby in the hallway instead.

He was standing in the hall, his eyes focused completely on the small window in the door to Spencer's room. From the look on his face, the pain and anguish, and even a small amount of jealously flashing through his eyes, Jason could tell Toby had seen the way Spencer moved to hug Wren.

"Toby, hey," he said softly. He didn't understand Spencer's connection to Wren, other than it was her sister's ex-fiancé, but he knew her relationship with Toby meant the world to both of him. He could guess from the fact that Toby wasn't in Spencer's hospital room with her that she remembered her relationship with him even less than she remembered hers with Jason; he could only imagine the amount of pain that had to bring Toby. "How are you-"

"How is she?" Toby asked, interrupting Jason completely.

"I didn't get to see her for long, but she seems as well as you can expect someone who's lost part of their memory to be. She seems to be doing better, probably more accepting to what happened, from what Aria told me a few days ago."

"I have to see her," Toby said after a moment, ready to walk by Jason and into Spencer's room before Jason shot out his hand to stop him. Toby could even a muster up a glare when he looked at Jason; his face was too ridden with pain to be angry at Jason for stopping him.

"I…I don't know if that's the best idea," said Jason hesitantly.

"Her family's been saying that to me every day since she's woken up. I need to know how she's doing, Jason. I need to see her."

"I understand that; trust me I do," said Jason calmly. "And I don't know what her relationship with Wren is like, but from what I can see, at one point it was definitely more than friends, and I'm guessing that unlike us, he wasn't forgotten from her memory, so you going in there while someone from a relationship that Spencer can actually remember is in there, can't end well."

The look on Toby's face told Jason that he understood exactly what Jason meant, though he didn't want to admit it. Instead of moving to push by Jason again, Toby slumped down in a chair out in the hallway, the look on his face matching that of one on the edge of defeat. "I don't know what I'm supposed to do here," said Toby quietly. "I love her more than anyone else, and every part of my being wants to rush in there and make sure she's okay, kiss away any of the pain she's feeling and just be there for her. But she doesn't remember us; doesn't remember anything she's felt for me other than blind hatred. And that's killing me, Jason. How can I be there for someone that doesn't remember that she wants me there?"

Jason took a seat next him. "You just don't give up," he said after a moment. "You hold onto the fact that deep down, she loves you just as much as you love her, and you hold onto the hope that she'll remember that in due time."

"Yeah? And what if she doesn't?" It was the first time Toby allowed himself to ask it out loud.

"You can't think like that," said Jason softly. "It'll only cause you more pain."

Toby didn't reply. He constantly swore to himself and Spencer that he'd protect her from anything, yet when it came down to it, Spencer ended up in the hospital because she was driving to see him. Toby couldn't help the guilt that he felt; the blame he placed on himself for Spencer's accident, and in a dark and twisted way, Toby saw the fact that Spencer didn't remember her relationship with him as a cruel punishment for causing what happened.

Toby stood up, swallowing the guilt he felt for the time being. "Can you just tell her I stopped by? That I just want to talk to her, even if it's only for a minute?"

Jason nodded. "I'll tell her when I see her later," he said softly to him.

"Thank you," replied Toby as Jason walked by him to leave. Before turning to leave behind Jason, Toby allowed himself one final glance into Spencer's room. She was embracing Wren once more, and as Toby looked into her room, her eyes locked onto his directly. Looking into the brown eyes he so easily fell in love with, the eyes that belonged to the girl he still loved, Toby felt the room around him disappear as he seemed to only see Spencer. He didn't have to say anything, didn't have to move towards her; the expression on his face was full of enough love that he didn't have to say it out loud. Staring at her, Toby could feel their memories they shared flashing through his brain in quick movements, and from a small glance, Toby knew instantly he wouldn't be able to give up on the hope that Spencer would remember anytime soon.

With one final glance, Toby finally looked away from Spencer, turning to walk down the hall, refusing to accept that he had lost Spencer just yet.

She could see him even through the small window in her door. Though every part in her body told her to scream, to demand that he leave, the tightening in her chest wouldn't allow her to look away from Toby Cavanaugh's emerald eyes.

Even in Wren's arms, Spencer could feel herself longing for something other than him, and though it scared her to admit it, though she was ready to deny it even to herself, she knew what she was longing for stood only a mere twenty feet from her.

She felt tears swell up in her eyes as she was unable to look away from Toby's irises. She could see the look he was giving her. The look wasn't malicious or even looking as if it hid a secret agenda, but rather like everything he had to say was written on the facial expression. It wasn't hard for Spencer to understand what his face was saying what his mouth wasn't: I love you.

It wasn't until he finally turned away that Spencer allowed herself to close her eyes, blinking away the tears in her eyes before they spilled over. She pulled away from Wren, giving him a small, fake smile before her eyes darted back to the hallway, her chest tightening once more as she found it empty again.

"Spencer?" she heard Wren ask, and her eyes reluctantly moved back to look at his face. "Are you okay?"

Spencer stared at Wren for a moment. The last thing she could remember was that she was seeing Wren. And she was happy with him.

So why was she longing to see Toby, even if only for a moment longer?

"I'm fine," she lied to him, giving him another fake smile as she attempted to bury the emotions that seeing Toby brought her.

Review please! :)