Disclaimer:
I don't own iCarly or the movie this is based off of.
The (Fake) Wedding: The Plan, kind of.
Because it's never that simple…
I had a plan.
Well, let me clarify.
I almost had a plan. It was genius and it was the perfect way to get my mother and sisters off my case about not getting married. The plan was too good to be true. I couldn't even believe that it came to me.
Well, actually, it didn't come to me, but it was suggested.
Let me tell how it happened.
Gibby and myself were at the Shay's apartment waiting for Carly to finish making her cookies and join us so we could all play Loser! Gibby was rambling on about this Indonesian woman he met at the supermarket and how he won her. Then he mentioned something that threw me off guard.
Fake marriage.
Apparently the woman liked married men (more of a challenge), Gibby pretended to be married in order to get her.
Then it hit me like a ton of bricks, it came to me like a prophetic dream, it–the point is that I got an idea. Oddly enough from Gibby's ridiculous nighttime catches.
If I could get my mom and sisters to believe that I was truly getting married, then they would get off my back. And when I was suppose to get married, the girl would "stand me up" at the alter, I would be so heart broken that I would never believe in true love again. Then, boom, I didn't have to get married. It was genius.
But Carly didn't think so.
Carly, she used to be the girl of my dreams, my stalker dreams, though. When I first met her in sixth grade, I knew I was going to marry her. But after awhile, we became great friends and she ended up with one of the greatest girls I know. She's now happily married to Brad Princeton.
Brad Princeton.
He was my best friend in high school and we still are great friends until this very day. Carly has an older brother named Spencer who lives in Ireland. He visits often but is an artist, so his work really is to travel. I would hate not seeing my family that much, but that's Spencer for you, he was never great in the head if you understand me.
Anyway, for some reason Carly turned down my brilliant plan off the bat. Why? I really don't know.
"It's dangerous Freddie, you could get hurt, and the poor girl could get hurt, even your family could get hurt. Just wait until you find the right girl, don't go through all this torture." Carly stated.
I still didn't know what the big deal was.
"But I am never going to find the right girl, it's just impossible for me," I argued
"I'm with Freddie on this one, Carly," Gibby agreed. (I wasn't sure if I should have been offended or flattered. I chose the latter)
"But he will, I know he will. Besides, how is he going to 'find' a girl that could be the perfect woman for his family? They hate almost anyone who he dates, no offense,"
But I wasn't offended; I had that part all figured out. The girl didn't have to really be like I wanted her to be, she just had to act like I needed her to be.
"I still don't know, it sounds risky?" Carly stated. Risky it was, but what other choice did I have. Go with the plan, or get wakened up by a crazy red headed chick in 3 AM every night. Yeah, it's been happening since my sisters have been meddling.
"Yeah, but I have to."
And so we began.
I just had to make sure the girl could act as if her life depended on it. She had to meet most of the parts: nice, polite, clean, well mannered, humorous, delicate but not too delicate, intelligent, and not argumentative.
Making the list was the easy part, now I had to find the right girl.
I called everyone I knew if they could fix me up with someone, but no one was helpful. I even put out a pretend ad to get costumers coming. Yet, no one came.
Then one evening, I found her.
I was outside Gibby's apartment, waiting on him to come home. I needed to let him know that I was giving up and I couldn't find anyone. He opened the door, and then I saw her.
There she was, sitting down, looking as perfect as ever. She was going to be my leading lady. I couldn't believe I didn't think of her before.
Sam
SAM
SAM!
Wow that felt spazzy!
Anyway, Sam could do it. I know she can act; she acts like everything is perfectly fine between us when Gibby is around. But when he leaves, she turns all mean, all impolite, and all anti-good.
Is that a word?
Now all I have to do is convince her to do this for me.
But how?
How will Freddie convince Sam? Tune in next time of: The (Fake) Wedding.
And
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