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Hopes & Dreams

Ethan's POV

"Tell me why I don't believe you" Benny says through his webcam. I called him as soon as Sarah left my house Tuesday night – I was crazy excited, and it shocks me – my enthusiasm didn't scare her away like it would have any ordinary day. It was strange – all night, she acted oblivious to me being obviously nervous – and it was obvious.

"I'm serious, Benny. You can ask her yourself," I protest, and he shrugs his shoulders and sighs at me. "You're not supposed to kiss and tell Ethan, chicks don't dig that." "I haven't told anyone, besides you… That won't matter." He frowns. "Thanks—"

"I didn't mean it like that Benny – I'll just talk to you later. I'm pretty tired, from… you know." Benny smiles and gives me thumbs up. I click the little red dot in the corner of the computer screen and his face disappears. After shutting off my computer, I kick off my socks and collapse onto my bed – our bed.

Sarah was amazing. I'd never seen that side of her before – I believe… I hope she hasn't had any makeout sessions like that with Jesse. Her lips were so smooth, and soft, and warm, and pink, and delicious, and perfect – I wanted to bite them off and take them away. The taste of her tongue on mine made me shudder, and even though she was on top of me, my body sank into hers. Crazy.

Sarah was too sexy – way over the legal limit. She's so small, but her body is so full, and smooth, and everything a sane guy could ever want in a girl. She arches her back, putting her all into our lip lock, and my hand is under her shirt, caressing her warm skin – and the animal inside of me awakes again. She tries to roll over, she tries to take a break, but I won't give her that chance – I refuse to.

I prepared popcorn and made two glasses of ice cream soda, and after I devoured most of it myself, Sarah and I returned to my room. After another long scene on my bed, I walked her downstairs and embraced her at the threshold. She kissed me again, and when we pulled away, I held her, and I dived into those big brown eyes I'd fallen for – you could get really lost in Sarah's beauty if you're not that careful, which I wasn't, and which I tended to do often.

I don't know where that leaves us though. I'm not sure if she's looking for a boyfriend – that's something she never really talks about – but there's no denying she's into me.

Wednesday we're all eating together, and Sarah decides to give this another shot. "So" she begins, drawing our attention. "Ethan and I have been thinking, and –" "Gross" Erica mumbles, and she mocks being disgusted. "Not nice, Erica" I interject. "Butt out dork" she retorts. "Ugh!" I groan… "UGH!" she groans back – and now we're grunting back and forth, sounding like two broken engines in a motor fight.

"Guys" Sarah complains. We fall silent, but Erica's still glaring at me. She is weird. "What I was saying is… me and Ethan believe that we should take this time to prepare ourselves for the next time we run into Jesse." Benny and Erica blink with understanding. "So what do you mean, prepare?" Benny asks. "Like fighting?" says Erica. Sarah nods. "Well for us, and Rory, that is…" she says to Erica. "But for you Benny, we thought it would be cool if you studied your grandmother's spell book. And for Ethan… well we haven't really figured him out yet."

"Oh Sarah, I think you have Ethan figured out pretty well, what do you think, Erica?" Benny says, and he's smirking and nodding and implying things he shouldn't be implying. "Yes. I. Do." She says just as sarcastically. "Shut up you two" I say, and I'm glaring at Benny for blabbing about the confidential. Well, who cares? I'm pretty sure she's already told Erica about our two nights in paradise – then again, I don't think she would dare – Erica would kill her.

Sarah blushes and looks down – a small smile appears on her face and with that, I'm pretty sure she's okay with our friends knowing about us – or whatever we are.

I cradle her knee in my hand and she looks at me. She smiles. Erica's mouth twitches as she's on the verge of saying something, but Sarah tightens her expression and mugs her. "Sorryyyy" Erica grumbles. Benny and I share a laugh.

"So, what do you guys think?" Sarah asks. "That sounds cool," says Benny. "Whatever." Erica is always so moody.

The bell rings and Erica is the first to gather her things. "See you," she says to us, and she's gone. "What's with her?" Benny asks as he dumps his tray. Sarah shrugs her shoulders and sighs. "She's fine. Just being… Erica."

"Well… I should be going" Benny begins. We both look at him. "I'll leave you two… alone" and now he's pointing and twirling his fingers at us – we don't laugh – he turns and walks away. So what do I do now? I grab Sarah's hand, and surprisingly she doesn't protest. Her hands were always so soft – pre and post vampire, and typical Ethan would have been nervous and a little scared to hold Sarah's hand, but she's done something to typical Ethan. I'm starting to think he doesn't exist anymore.

Sarah squeezes my hand as we walk, and I think she's nervous. I want to say something, but I really can't think of anything to spark her interest – I guess typical Ethan hasn't died after all.

Ten minutes until third hour, and we're at my locker, dead silent. I'm looking at her, and she's looking at me, and our heads turn away at the slightest sound the other makes, and then we're back to staring at each other – and I'm completely enjoying it.

Alright Ethan, this has to be done sometime, and sometime soon. So stop being a chicken, and ask.

"Um…" I began, but I choke on the rest of the words. Her eyebrows raise, and now I have her attention and she's expecting me to say something – or I'm going to look stupid. "Yes" she says, her voice is sweetest thing I've heard all day. Whenever we're alone and she speaks to me, I can literally taste the cherry of her lips – and it's a wonderful taste. Like… your favorite ice cream you love to gulp down right before you go to bed, even though you really shouldn't, and you wake up the next morning craving it.

I wake up every morning craving Sarah. I love her.

"What are we… Sarah?" I'm finally able to whisper. Her eyes dart from mine to my locker, and my worst fears become reality. I really hope that I'm wrong right now, but it seems as if this is a conversation she's not ready for. But we're having it Sarah – so man up.

"What do you mean?" she asks, looking down, looking up, looking away – it's like she's determined not to look at me. Either she's just really nervous or she's being sneaky – she wants me to say what we're both thinking. She wants me to leave nothing to interpretation.

"Are we dating?" I ask flatly. Her expression tenses and she gives me a sigh of desperation. Great. GREAT! "I don't knowww Ethan" she pleads. I roll my eyes and shake my head a little. "Don't worry about it." I close my locker and make to turn away, but her hand clamps down on my shoulder. Now I don't know if it's because she's as strong as Godzilla, or if it's the tingles I feel at her touch, but I stop on the spot, frozen, and I turn around.

"No, wait Ethan" she begs, and when I look into those baby brown eyes I see nothing but pain and affection. She's struggling – hiding something from me, which she hardly ever did. "You okay?" I ask, but she ignores my question. "This is all kind of new, to me… and I'm not sure about any of these emotions I'm start—" I cut her off. "Emotions?"

Sarah giggles then takes my hands in hers. "Yes… Ethan" she says, and now she's grinning – that wonderful grin where i can see just a tad bit of her shiny piano keys, and now my body is overheating. Sometimes I just can't handle looking into her beautiful face for too long – my insides melt away and I blush and I shake and I get nervous and I ramble – but… I like it. I like it because even though I crack under the pressure that is Sarah's perfection, it feels good to me.

So, I take breath and I 'woosah' in my head, and l chuckle with her. "Yeah?" I say. Let's see what the animal can do. She smiles and her cheeks get all rosy, but I can tell that she's happy, even though she's confused.

"Yesss Eeeethinn" she sings and she's flustered. I can't believe some of the things I'm actually doing to her. I close the distance between us and place one hand on her cheek – I caress her soft, supple skin and my fingers soon find their way around her ear. "What kind of emotions?" I ask. The animal is pushing it, but the animal doesn't really care. He wants answers.

"I like you Ethan" she confesses, and I'm ecstatic. My mind escapes reality and I'm imaging us on a beach, walking hand in hand and sneaking kisses whenever no one's looking. The bell rings and I snap back to reality. I look down and she's still smiling at me, cheeks redder than a candy apple, and all I can do is smile back. I tilt her chin up and press our lips together - something short of making out, but better than a peck.

We separate – I watch as she trickles away towards her next class. She's so beautiful in every aspect, ones that I have never even considered in a girl. Her arms hug her folder tightly, and her knees are a little shaky, but I know she's smitten by me. Well done Ethan, well done.

Sarah comes over later that night, and we're back at it in my bedroom. It's become somewhat routine – no more hesitation, or awkwardness, or confusion… just action.

We've been making out for at least twenty minutes now, and I still don't want to stop. It's like my lips are a power cord, hers are the wall outlets, and if we're not touching, connecting, tasting...one another, there's nothing alive in either of us… and we're empty.

Her lips part from mine and I'm looking up into her gorgeous face. She doesn't babysit 'til Friday, so it's nice having her over and all to me.

She sits up a little and folds her arms over my chest, planting her chin in the center and looking at me. "What's the matter?" I ask her. She shrugs her shoulders and pouts. "I don't know Ethan… I wish we could go somewhere with this… with us but—" "But?" I interject. She frowns and groans apologetically. "It's not like that Ethan. I really like you, i really do. Funny thing, I've just admitted it to myself. — but…we can't handle where this relationship is going" she finishes. I'm confused. "I'm confused" I say.

"What I'm saying is… I'm growing really attached to you. I more than just like you… I-I" she stumbles on the words. I furrow my brows and give her an expression that says, spit it out!

"I dunno Ethan." Ugh! Why do girls have to be so… so…

"Ethan, you're going to grow old, and settle down and have little geeky babies – but me… I'm going to stay seventeen forever. You'll be gone one day, and I can't handle that… I can't handle losing you at all." Her eyes quiver as she looks down into her hands. She shuts them for a moment but they reopen and she looks at me. Her eyes are watery and shaky and baby brown, and again I just want to steal them away from her – but the sadness in them is overbearing, and they're asking me if I understand.

"— And I want to be normal, Ethan. I want to grow up and get old, just like you… with you. I want to have kids. I-I… I don't want this life. I have dreams, and hopes, and ambitions… and there are things I can't do for you. You wouldn't be safe with me… I can't give you everything a normal girl can… I can't give you children, Ethan." She whispers the last part, and every inch of my body wants to reach and hold her – love and caress her until all of that pain washes away.

"What if we find you a cure?" I offer. She shakes her head slowly. "That would be incredible, Ethan… but there's something telling me we won't." She's so sure of her doubts; more sure of her fears and insecurities than she is in herself… in us.

"Well… there's always…" I trail off, and she's studying me now. I make a silly face and hold out my hands in the shape of a head. I sink my pretend vampire fangs into my fists and pretend to have a seizure. Her eyes swell and her face tightens as she rises up off me, dangling her finger in my face. "No no no absolutely not! I'm not changing you, Ethan!" she yells. "Why?" I protest. "Because this is not a nice life to live… no one deserves this kind of misery!" I smack my teeth. "Well it seems like the only miserable one is you." Her eyes get big and her mouth twitches. She falls silent, offended.

I reach for her hand but she retreats. I give her the best sad puppy face I could muster, but she refuses to look at me. "Sarah" I beg, and her eyes are trembling and on the verge of tearing. I reach for her again and she tries to pull away, but I grab her under the arms and pull her back to me. "What?" she mumbles as she settles back on top of me. "I'm sorry," I whisper, tracing the edge of her ear with a finger. "Its fine" she says, and her head sinks down and she closes her eyes.

This is a conversation we're just going to have to save for another day. Sarah's asleep in seconds, and watching her sleep is one of the most beautiful things in the world. She doesn't snore – the only sound I hear is her exhaling. I pull the blanket on top of us and up to her shoulders. She snoozes on top of me for hours, and even though I can't feel any part of my body from the numbness, I'm completely enjoying every minute of it.

She wakes sometime around midnight, and as she yawns and rubs the boogers out of her eyes, I start playing in her hair. "Morning" I say, and she giggles. "What time is it?" she croaks. "It's twelve something." Her eyebrows arch and she stretches. "Really?" she asks, and I nod. "Are you parents going to be mad?" She shakes her head and snakes her arms around me. "No… I'm always out late," she says, and she gives me one of those sexy seductive Sarah smiles that I love so much.

"I'm sorry about earlier," I whisper, and she places a soft hand on my cheek – a smile trickles on her gorgeous little face. "It's okay… I'm sorry for getting upset. It's… just complicated." There is a short pause between us where I take the time to marvel at her beauty – I let my fingers get lost in her hair, and she loves it when they do. "But I don't care about any of those things" I say simply. "I know you don't, but you should Ethan…" she replies. "Why?" I protest, and she scoffs. "Because Ethan… you can find someone better than me."

I can't understand why she allows herself to believe such ridiculous things. Sarah is perfect, in every way and aspect that defines perfect, and I want her more than anything. So be mine, Sarah. Please.

I thump her on the forehead and smack my teeth. 'OW!" she cries. "What did you do that for?" She's rubbing her temple with her palm when I move her hand away to kiss it.

"Because you're being silly. I don't care about any of that stuff." she pushes herself up so that she's sitting, and I sit up and wrap an arm around her. "Do you mean that?" she asks. Finally… she gets it. We shouldn't worry about all of those things just yet. This romance between us is so new and spontaneous, and I don't want to lose it – for anything.

"I love you," I confess. Her eyes swell, and I start to relive those fears – fears of my emotions overwhelming hers, fears of me rushing into this, whatever this was, and fears that I may push her away. To my surprise – thank GOD to my surprise, she smiles at me.

"I love you too." My heart pounds in my chest, and when she leans in to kiss me, it flops around – like a fish does when you take it out of its fish tank and play with it on your coffee table. Our lips collide, in a slow, passionate way, and I'm floating on this thing called love, this thing called Sarah. Sarah is love – she's all the love I'll ever need.

We separate, and now we're gasping for air. She's smiling at me, and I'm smiling at her, and we're living in the moment, and oh what a wonderful moment it is.

Ring ring ring ring

Sarah digs into her pocket and removes her cell phone. She's barely on it for ten seconds and she's putting it back away. Her expression is horrified and intense, and she's not looking at me. "Who was that?" I ask. She frowns. "Parents. They need my help with something." Are you lying to me, Sarah?

"So you have to go?" I ask – rather declare. "Afraid so… but… I enjoyed myself. Thank you, Ethan." I nod and get up to escort her downstairs.

She stops at the doorway and turns to look at me. I meet her in the threshold and snake my arms around her waist, squeezing her like Jane would her favorite teddy bear – she gasps and makes squeaky noises as she screams, "Let me… goo… Eeethannnnn!" I laugh and release her from my vice grip. "Jerk!" she says, and she's poking me in the ribs in a FAILED attempt to tickle me – it hurts, Sarah. You have vampire strength… jeeez.

"I love you" I whisper, and my hands find their way to either side of smooth, rosy cheeks, and I pull her closer for a goodbye peck. Her eyes cram shut when we pull away, and it looks like she's about to cry again. "Sarah, what's the matter?" "Nothing…" she sniffs, and her eyes reopen and I can see the watery gleam in them as they vibrate. "Are you sure? Because I don't think—" I protest, but I never finish. Her hands take to my face in the same fashion mine did hers and she presses our lips together.

Don't get me wrong… I love kissing Sarah, but something about this kiss is desperate, and weak – and I don't like it.

I pull away and try to get a glimpse of her expression, but it's too late. She whispers, "I love you," and she's gone. She sprints down the street the second our lips part, and before I know it, before I can even rationalize what's going on because of her extraordinary speed, she's nowhere to be seen – and I'm left standing alone on my porch. Something is up with Sarah, something she isn't telling me, and I think it has something to do with that phone call. I stand there, scared – not for me, but for my baby, because I don't know what's going on, and I have a really – really bad feeling about this.

Next

Sarah's Interlude