They had finally taken it somewhere more private, and now they lay side by side. Jack turned to look at John.
"What exactly did you punch me for in the bar in Cardiff?"
"You'd left me."
"What?"
"One night we were celebrating that mission to the middle ages, and the next day you were gone."
Jack tried, he really did, but he couldn't remember going to the middle ages with John.
"What year was it?"
"The mission? 1360 or something, 70 maybe -"
"No, agency time. When we were back. The party."
"You don't remember?!"
"Please, John, what year?"
John sighed, clearly not understanding what Jack was aiming at.
"5130."
"What date?"
"Shit Jack you know me and dates. Summer. August maybe."
"The 24th."
"Possible. Why is that so important?"
"Because that's the day I woke up with 2 years of my life missing."
"What?!"
"That's why I left the agency. I wanted them back."
"You could have talked to me. I could have tried to help you!"
"The last memory I had of you was two years old. I didn't know if you were still my partner, hell I didn't even know if you were alive! Let alone if I could trust you."
He had been completely on his own.
"Jack, I'm sorry. I didn't know. The agency just declared you 'Rogue'. I thought -"
"What?"
"Uh shit you know what I thought."
"That I'd left you? Broken it up?"
Whatever 'it' had been at the time.
"Anyway, did you find anything?"
"No. I still don't know and I don't even know where to look. I gave it up eventually."
"I could tell you. You know the parts I was involved with - our missions and stuff."
"You were so heavily drunk or drugged or both most of the time I doubt you even remember our missions."
John stared at him for a very long moment, realizing Jack didn't remember. He didn't recall saying it, and he probably didn't even recall feeling it.
Ancient Egypt. One of those 'walk in the park' missions - gone south. John barely remembered it himself. What he did remember was Jack holding him, pulling him into his chest to make the time jump easier on him. He'd been poisoned, and it had been doubtful if they'd make it back to their own time.
'Don't you dare die on me on the way home.'
John had clung to that with all he had.
And when it looked like he wouldn't make it Jack had said it. The one and only time.
And now he didn't remember.
"Did you think about going back? Into your own timeline?"
"No! That never occured to me! It's a violation of the regs!" Jack rolled his eyes. "Of course I went back. But it didn't help. I watched myself going through my life but I didn't feel anything. No connection. Like watching a stranger."
He shook his head. John leaned in for a gentle kiss.
"I'm sorry, Jack. That must feel awful."
He pulled back and Jack could see the wheels start spinning.
"Is it possible you wanted it? That something happened you didn't want to remember?"
"I don't know. You tell me."
"There were rumors."
"What, you know something?"
"Do you remember Maria?"
"Who?"
"Your interim partner? While I was in rehab?"
"Which one of those?"
"Never mind. I was busy not drinking or not killing or whatever it was, and in the meantime they partnered you with Maria. You can't have forgotten that!"
And then the penny dropped.
"But you have!"
"So what about her?"
"Rumor had it that you'd found something on a mission, something the agency decided was too dangerous to use. Messed with one's mind, they said."
"Where is she?"
"Last I heard, three thousand something."
"So she's alive? She's one of the seven that are still alive?"
"Yes. As far as I know."
"Do you have a way to contact her?"
"Are you telling me you forgot your ex partner's code?"
"John, for once, can you just answer the question?"
"OK, sorry, stupid question. No I don't know how to contact her."
"Anyway, who else is still alive?"
"Marcus, Sarah, Lilly and Benjamin. No wait, Ben was killed recently I think. Not much of a loss...so I guess there's only six of us left then. Though I'm not so sure about Lilly. You know her..."
"Yeah. I know. I'll try Marcus then."
"You do that. Say hello from me. Uh or maybe rather not if you want something from him."