A/N: Another chapter is out. Hurrah! Still, I'm only halfway done with the FMN chapter….agh… Oh, and I did say I'd post a list of what they're afflicted with, but I've decided not to. It's easy enough to tell, right? So here's just a short review: Naruto is MPD/DID, Neji is narcissistic, Shika is schizoaffective, Lee's ADHD with an imaginary friend, Kiba's paranoid, Chouji's dysthymic, and Shino's super-quiet and suicidal.

Disclaimer: I do not own Naruto or any other merchandise mentioned in this fic.

Pairings: SasuNaru, KakaIru, GaaLee, ShinoKiba, OroKabu, more as it progresses…some NejiNaru, SaiNaru, and OroSasu as well.

THE CHAPTER BEGINS

"This is rigged, isn't it?" Kiba growled, though he sounded sour instead of suspicious. Next to him, Shikamaru snorted, eyeing his own hand of cards with extreme dislike. "It's not my fault you two suck at this game." Naruto chirped happily, before giving Shikamaru a false-coy look as he sweetly called out "Have a six?" Glowering, the lazy boy slapped down a six of hearts in front of the smug blond.

"Your extraordinary, Naruto-kun!" Lee claimed, looking at the 12 pairs of cards laid out before the blond boy, all won in the game of Go Fish. Naruto grinned at the praise, not even bothering to swat away Neji's hands, which were currently running through his hair. Whatever kept the strange boy quiet and happy was fine to Naruto, since Chouji was here, after all.

"This is bullshit. I demand we play a different game!" Kiba growled, slamming down his hand of cards before throwing all of them to the floor in his anger. Shikamaru put down his own hand, relief in his eyes. "Sore loser." Naruto muttered, giving up his own hand to Kiba's fury.

"Kiba-kun, those are Gama's cards!" Lee cried in utmost horror, attempting to snatch the cards away from the other teen. "The fire of youth is churning in me, Lee!" was Kiba's sarcastic reply, as he threw the cards around. A girl across the room was now looking at them, Shikamaru realized, her drool nearly soaking the upper portion of her shirt. "Shino, please calm him down." the pony tailed boy muttered, and Shino easily complied, simply handing the rugged teen his stuffed dog.

"You have an individual session today, don't you, Naruto?" Shikamaru asked, sidling away from Kiba, who was now cradling Akamaru and glaring across the room at a passing nurse. Naruto nodded distractedly, attempting to discreetly get away o the long-haired teen, but Neji was having none of that and kept the blonde in place with one hand.

"I got Jiraiya-sensei. Any of you know who that is?" Naruto asked. "Isn't he that weird old guy always trying to look in the Nurse's dressing room?" Chouji piped up questioningly. Shikamaru nodded, and Kiba's face slowly broke out into a maniacal grin.

"EH!!!!"

SCENE BREAK

"Why can't he ever behave?" Nurse Kurenai sighed, after having given the ISO-contained Sai his lunch. Her fellow nurse and peer, Anko, just snorted. "Getting that boy to behave is like getting Hinata-chan to communicate without stuttering." she said with conviction.

"Difficult?"

"Impossible."

Kurenai frowned. "Don't be such a pessimist, Anko. Hinata-chan's getting better." she said. Anko just rolled her eyes. "Whatever you say." she muttered, walking off to tend to other matters. Namely making sure the perverted Jiraiya makes it in time for his appointment with the new kid.

Anko sighed. Being a nurse was just so depressing.

Kurenai watched her friend walk away, before continuing on to the next isolation cell. She opened the door, alert but not tense. "Haku-kun? Your time is up." she called out into the eerily silent cell. He got to get out earlier than Sai, being the one getting beaten when the orderlies and nurses found them. Haku was a nice kid, sure, but he was also the creepiest. He reminded Anko vaguely of the elder Uchiha; at least, when he was in one of his 'low' moods.

Slowly, Haku walked out of the cell, head hung low as he trudged down the hallway and out of sight. With a put-upon sigh, Kurenai closed the empty padded room. She would just never understand that kid.

SCENE BREAK

"Why are you here?" came the welcoming growl. Inwardly, Kakashi wondered if the growl was something the teenager had inherited from his father, or if he had learned it from all the group therapy sessions he shared with Gaara. Either way, it was a rather chilling, but having spent most of his waking hours with the raven-haired teen or his kin, Kakashi was far too used to it.

"As much fun as it would be to add 'showing signs of anorexic behavior' to your daily report, I'd prefer to escort you to lunch." Kakashi replied nonchalantly. "Why don't you read your porn and leave me be, you miserable bastard?" the teen growled, but stalked out of his room nonetheless. Kakashi's one visible eye crinkled in amusement. "Now why would I do that when I can spend my time with you?" the man questioned sweetly.

"Stop sweet-talking your patients or I'll tell Iruka." was the raven boy's retort.

"So cruel to me, Sasuke-kun. And just when I got the name of your little blond angel." Kakashi mourned, reveling in the complete stop the boy came to. Ah, to have the upper hand against an Uchiha...Kakashi loved the feeling...

"Well?" Sasuke snapped. Kakashi pulled a mock-sad expression. "Patience is a virtue, Sasuke-kun. I'll tell you after you eat lunch." Kakashi waved him off. He realized this was a wrong move, as Sasuke pivoted and launched at him. Side-stepping the teen quickly, he grabbed the boy around the waist before he could try tackling him again.

As Sasuke cursed him to hell and back, Kakashi pulled the struggling teen down the hall with a bored expression. "Keep going like this, Sasuke, and I'll put you in ISO with Sai." Kakashi said plaintively, effectively silencing the growling teen. When it looked as if the boy had calmed down, the silver-haired man released him.

"Now let's go eat lunch, Sasuke-kun." Kakashi grinned, leading the way. Sasuke glowered at the man's back, the urge to tear him apart with his bare hands nearly swallowing his senses, before he forcibly choked that side of him back. He would not be like Itachi.

"We're having...curry today!" Kakashi said, doing his little jiggle-dance he normally reserved for his books. Sasuke wondered what he had done (well, which deed he had done) to deserve Kakashi as his assigned orderly. That Kakashi didn't find him the least bit intimidating was another sore spot.

"I despise you." was Sasuke's reply, served cold. Kakashi didn't stop his jiggle-dance, though, until another orderly passed by and smacked him in the back of the head. "Don't slack off, Kakashi." the woman scolded lightly, not even stopping as she passed. "You shouldn't be violent in front of patients, Kurenai!" Kakashi called back. He heard a distinct snort before the woman turned the corner.

Reaching the cafeteria, intact and with all limbs (Kakashi counts his blessings), Kakashi grabbed the teen's pre-made tray as he lead him to the usual table. It was decided that certain, more hostile patients would not have to get in line like the others, as it proves to be disastrous and often bloody.

Kakashi flipped open his beloved Icha Icha Paradise novel, but still kept an eye on the teen. As usual, Sasuke took two bites from everything on his tray, three sips of his drink, and then broods for five minutes. This cycle of eat, drink, and brood went throughout the entire mealtime, until Sasuke had his fill. Kakashi often had the inkling that Sasuke did this on purpose, just to irritate him. Hence the reason he brought the book. Orochimaru, Kakashi's substitute, was the only other person in the institution who could stand the young Uchiha's eating patterns, and moreso because he leaned toward pedophilia (or so the gossip circle says).

"Working hard, Kakashi?" came the sarcastic drawl from somewhere near him. Kakashi glanced up to see the lounging figure of his friend, Asuma. The man's fingers twitched with the urge to hold a cigarette, but the rules being what they are, he had to wait until his four-thirty break period. Next to him sat Ten-Ten, who looked to be in serious discussion with her spoon. Sakura was across from her, blushing as she nibbled at her food and stared at Sasuke alternatively. Next to the girl was Kabuto; likely the reason why Asuma was present.

"Ah...where's Ino?" Kakashi asked. Asuma glanced back at the two girls and one boy. "In a session with Anko-san." he replied gruffly. The obvious Thank God! practically screaming off of him seemed to only be recognized by Kakashi.

Sasuke's twitching left hand alerted Kakashi to the boy's irritation; the man figured so, as the teen could barely stand Sakura OR Kabuto. "Done, Sasuke?" Kakashi inquired boredly, though the teen didn't reply and Kakashi didn't wait for an answer, as he picked up the tray and handed it off to clean-up, leading the teen out with a short wave to Asuma.

"What's his name?" Sasuke demanded, as soon as they had stepped out of the cafeteria. Kakashi thought about playing the 'Who?' game with him, but didn't think Sasuke's nerves could stand for that right now, and he really didn't want to throw the teen in ISO.

"Naruto." Kakashi said shortly.

There was an eerie quiet by his side, before Kakashi felt that familiar chill sweep up his spine as the crazy teen smirked triumphantly.

"Naruto."

Iruka's going to kill me. Kakashi thought.

SCENE BREAK

Kyuubi was currently lounging in the armchair across from his white-haired doctor, who was watching the blond with veiled interest. The teen wasn't looking back, however, as he dispassionately let his eyes wander over the office in obvious contempt. He was less than impressed, and the book of questionable virtue he had spotted on the man's dresser before he had tucked it away took the man's impressiveness down a few more notches.

"Your office sucks." Kyuubi concluded, turning blue eyes to the man. Jiraiya's lips curled up in a small grin. "I suppose is rather bland." he agreed amicably. Kyuubi smirked. "Isn't it a reflection of the owner?" the teen mused. Jiraiya, however, merely made a small humming noise that made Kyuubi's hair stand on end. He despised that noise.

The room, while not that despicable off-white color, was mostly tan, save the east wall, which was a lurid green reminiscent of Lee's onesie outfit. The desk and cabinets were made of polished wood, the handles of pure black plastic, and the flooring was the same linoleum-tile that seemed to stretch throughout the entire institution.

Good God, this entire place sucked.

"How are you adjusting?" Jiraiya decided to start. Kyuubi muttered something the man felt was none-too-nice, before re-focusing his attention on the man. "My roommate is an elf with an imaginary friend, while his real friends consist of a mutt, a lazy ass, a social recluse, a shy pig, and my own personal stalker. How do you think I'm adjusting?" was the acidic response.

Right. Jiraiya noted Kyuubi to be the...less sociable one, then. Arashi's observations appeared to be correct on that point. Jiraiya decided to try a different approach.

"How is Naruto adjusting?" he asked. Kyuubi paused, which Jiraiya quickly wrote down in his observations, before the teen started replying. "The little idiot is getting along fine. Just relishing the attention he's being given." the blond grumbled. Oddly enough, he didn't sound at all irritated with this.

Jiraiya raised an eyebrow. "Relishing? He likes the attention?" he asked. Kyuubi scowled; yes, definitely not the friendly type, this one. "Who doesn't like attention? Besides, we didn't have any friends before we came here. It's a novel experience for him." Kyuubi said viciously.

Jiraiya quickly wrote that down. Kyuubi appeared to not have realized he had something so important; Jiraiya noted this down as well.

"I hate this place." the teen muttered under his breath.

SCENE BREAK

"And she kept watching me! So I told her to leave me alone, 'cause I wasn't going to give in, and you know what she did? She told me her favorite color was apple! Apple!" Kiba ranted, his usual suspicion and occasional hysteria lacing his voice. Shino just nodded at all the right moments, and Shikamaru wasn't even listening.

"Apples are red, you guys! The color of blood! Don't you get it?" Kiba cried, looking utterly desperate. Shino patted the other boy's arm in comfort, both in an attempt to placate him and not start another one of the rugged boy's episodes and have the nurses swarming them.

Kiba had a miserable look on his face, and he crept into the lap off the taller boy. "I need protection, Shino. I don't know if I can stay here much longer. Its like they're closing in on me." he murmured. Shino just rubbed soothing circles in his back, and Kiba clung to him tighter. "You're the only one I can trust, Shino." he whispered into the other boy's neck. Shino glanced up, and was vaguely irritated to see a nurse eyeing them with a conflicting look on her face.

"Nurse." Shino murmured lightly, his voice only slightly raspy from rare use. Kiba let out an unsatisfied growl, but fluidly fell out of Shino's lap so his upper half was sprawled across the couch and the bottom over Shino's lap. "This is why I hate the commons. All they ever do is watch you." he whined. Shino just nodded.

Shikamaru, meanwhile, was staring at the ceiling, looking almost comatose. He was completely unmoving, save the rise and fall of his chest to indicate he was breathing, and the every few seconds he would blink. It really should have been surprising he had managed to make it all the way to the commons by himself, but no one had been paying attention.

"Shikamaru-kun is not feeling well?" a quiet voice broke through Kiba muttered ranting. Both boys turned towards the owner, who was looking downcast and slightly paler than his usual fair skin tone. "Haku! Out of ISO?" Kiba asked, earning a small nod as the long-haired boy shuffled over to Shikamaru.

"He must have slipped into an episode while we were talking." Kiba frowned, realizing the pony tailed boy was less interested than usual. Haku appeared to be concerned by this for the briefest of moments, before he looked to have completely lost interest as he took a seat in a nearby armchair.

"Orochimaru-sensei went into Kabuto-kun's room again. I saw him when I was going to lunch." Haku commented idly. Kiba re-took his seat next to Shino, leaning against the other teen comfortably. "Yeah, don't you eat with Kabuto?" he asked. Haku shrugged. "Only sometimes. He's with Orochimaru-sensei as much as possible." he said.

Haku seemed to finally realize something, as he glanced around expectantly. "Where's Neji-kun? I didn't think he had any Good Behavior notes to get into anywhere." he pointed out. Kiba let a lazy smirk creep upon his face. "He's waiting outside Jiraiya-sensei's office for his True Love. I wouldn't be surprised if he cons Chouji into sneaking him in some flowers from the Field." he snickered. Haku's eyebrow rose.

"Neji found someone to, ah...court?" the pale teen asked, though he did start to look amused. Kiba nodded. "New kid, Uzumaki Naruto. He's rooming with Lee; the blond's got multiple personalities." the rugged boy said. Haku snorted. "Of all the people to project his fantasies on..." Haku shook his head, a small smile on his face.

Haku paused, a sudden thought coming to mind. I haven't given Zabuza a gift in quite awhile... Haku thought, the creeping fingers of frantic nervousness beginning to dive into his mind. "Oh no..." he murmured, clutching the armrests in worry. What should I do? I surely can't give him another painting, he'll get bored with it...perhaps something I made in ceramics. Not the bowls, they looked horrible, but the teacups didn't look that bad... Haku's train of thought continued in this thread for quite awhile, as Kiba and Shino were engaged in a one-sided conversation about the activities allowed in the Field and how the restrictions fueled something more sinister.

Sometime around 2:30 in the afternoon, Naruto and Neji strolled out into the commons, the former looking tired and slightly puzzled, and the latter giving the teen "comfort" with his arm wrapped around the smaller boy's shoulders. Haku, Kiba, and Shino were in the midst of Scrabble, Kiba losing pathetically while Shino and Haku were close, Haku in the lead. Only Kiba turned to look when the pair approached; Shikamaru still wasn't doing much of anything.

"Enjoy your first session?" Kiba greeted, a grin on his face. Naruto's expression became more puzzled. "Jiraiya-sensei didn't make any sense at all...as was just sitting there for a second, and then he's telling me that's all for today and he's looking forward to seeing me on Thursday. We didn't even talk!" Naruto complained, sitting down, Neji following suit. Kiba raised an eyebrow, but Neji gave him a look that clearly read "Don't ask."

With a small smile, Haku concluded the game, the winner. Without a single change in expression, Shino leaned back and allowed Kiba to get comfortable against him, much to the pale boy's amusement. Haku turned to look at the newcomers, eyes alighting upon Neji first. "Neji-kun." he greeted, and received only a small nod in return, before his eyes moved on to the blond.

Naruto grinned at him, perfectly cheerful. "Hiya! I'm Uzumaki Naruto!"

END OF CHAPTER

Hm….not much Lee in this, and not even any Gaara…but there is a cliffhanger! HAH! And more Haku and Sasuke. Then, please review!