Song List
You Belong With Me- Taylor Swift
Human- Christina Perri
Chapter 4
My eyes widen, he is crazy. Yeah definitely crazy, he should be in the loony bin. Mates? What am I? An idiot? I can believe this, he's probably going to kill me and I led him into a place no one knows about. It isn't even on Google! Dammit I'm going to die and I don't know how to stop it, I didn't know what else to do…so I jump up and run as fast as I can, surprising myself when I didn't trip over anything. I feel his presence behind me, but I don't feel like I'm about to be killed anymore, I feel safer when he is near. But I just keep running. I run until I get to my car. I get in and start the ignition and making sure to lock the doors this time, I back out of the trees and speed off. I don't slow down until I am on the main highway in the town, even then I do the speed limit.
I am home in 10 minutes tops from running to driving home. How did I move so fast? I take a deep breath and get out of my car and walk up the steps and get the key out to unlock the door, it was already unlocked. I shake my head thinking maybe I forgot to lock it this morning. But in my head I know I am wrong.
Cautiously, I step inside. Nothing seems out of place, or too neat…everything is where it should be in the first floor. But someone has been here because I know I locked the door this morning. I lock it every morning that I go somewhere, especially when I go to school.
I didn't realize I was cold until I felt the heat kick on, honestly it shouldn't be this cold even if it is January. I turn off the heat and just light up the fireplace, kicking off my boots and sitting in the rocking chair by the fire. I just sat there.
I checked the time and it was 4 on the dot, I was shocked we left school at about 1. How long did we stay at the meadow? Time with him always flew by, it did at the coffee shop and it did just now at the meadow.
Charlie was working doubles this week because someone's grandfather died. So he hasn't been home and won't be home till he gets off tomorrow morning around 6. Then he will go back in at 2 p.m. I will not be seeing him a lot this week.
I just sit by the fire until I feel him again…a couple seconds later there was a knock. I contemplated not answering but I went ahead and opened it.
I was surprised to find it wasn't Edward…it was Mike Newton.
"Hey Mike." I hope he didn't notice my disappointment
"Hey Bella, are you okay? You disappeared after lunch today. It was the first day back so I thought it was kinda unusual."
Why couldn't he ever just leave me alone and mind his own business. But I feel him again, like he is beside me, it has gotten a lot stronger too. It hurts being this far away.
"Yeah I wasn't feeling very well I think I am just gonna go to bed Mike. I might see you tomorrow." I said. Adding in a fake cough. He opens his mouth to reply, but before he can I shut the door with a fake smile on my lips.
I didn't necessarily lie, I don't feel that good…my heart hurts. It feels like I am about to die and I hate this feeling, it has to be torture. Maybe I am getting sick.
But I still feel him…there is this pull. Like this golden band tugging me, if I was smart I wouldn't follow it, but I guess I am not very smart after all.
I walk up the stairs and feel the pull to the stairs. I hesitate to open the door, not believing him to be in there, but deep down…I knew. So I open the door.
Edward was lying on my bed with his head propped up and his eyes closed. I just look at him, shocked by his beauty. He is absolutely beautiful when he is not being a jack ass to fate. I love him. I feel it. But I can never have him, he doesn't want me. He wants to play games and have his harem. So I guess I will let him and cut him loose. If I can.
"You can talk I know you are in here." He says, eyes still closed. I jump a little, surprised.
"What are you doing here?" I ask.
"I couldn't stay away. It hurt too much Babygirl."
And there goes my heart again, fluttering and turning, while my stomach does cartwheels and backflips. Oh my, I do love it when he says that…I vaguely noticed the pain was gone, well it was bearable now. It was barely there, I could almost ignore it. Almost.
"Don't give me that bullshit, Edward. How did you get in here?"
"The window.'' He at least had the audacity to look embarrassed.
"Okay now what are you doing here?"
He looked at me for a minute…making me feel like I was naked. I haven't felt that vulnerable in a year. But the way he looked at me. His eyes didn't have that wall up anymore. They haven't since we were in the meadow and he told me we were…I can't finish that sentence.
"I needed to explain."
"About what?" I asked, obviously playing dumb.
"About us being mates." I look at him. Just look. Trying to figure out what is wrong with him, I mean he doesn't look crazy. Not really.
"Explain." I say.
"I am what you call a Whitlock. We are what humans might call hunters of Vampiria. I was borne into it. Esme and Carlisle are, too. I don't think you are. I don't know why you are my mate, but before I can accept that I have to talk to Carlisle…he is in Europe for the month. And until then I will watch over you and guard you. You can't be my mate. It isn't possible. Whenever Carlisle gets home I will ask. Until then I don't know you when other people are around."
I feel hurt when he said this, I don't really know why but I feel heartbroken. I really want to cry but I can't not with him here. I won't. I just cannot.
"Leave Edward."
"Baby-"
"No, Edward. Don't 'baby' me. Get out I don't want you here right now."
"I am not fucking leaving you alone Isabella."
That was all it took for the water works to start. I felt so broken, in the same day he had rejected me. Not once, but twice. And I couldn't do it anymore. I couldn't hold in my tears anymore. It wasn't possible or an option for me. He had broken me down till I was vulnerable again. I worked so hard to be srong this past year and in under 24 hours he had broken me back to where I was…to a million shards.
"Oh baby, come here! I am so sorry, that was very rude of me. Darling girl everything is alright. Sshhhh I'm here." He said. Repeating it all, while I sobbed into his grey shirt. I was minutely aware that he didn't have his jacket on.
I just let him hold me. He leads me to my bed and lays down with me while I cry on his chest. I wanted to get up and move because I shouldn't let him do this…but that pain that was constant had finally disappeared. After all day when he was away from me, it was gone. After a while I drifted to sleep.
I woke up to sunlight in my window, and my bed cold and without Edward. There was a note on my other pillow. In elegant script it said his name. I opened it.
My Dearest Bella,
I went to find Carlisle to ask some questions. I should be back soon. Take extra care of yourself and make sure you don't talk about me to anyone. No one can know you know me yet. Anyways I will be back soon.
See You Soon My Love,
Edward
I immediately recognized the pain, it was like scalding fire. I wanted it to end so bad. I wanted him to come back and appear in my bedroom again.
A couple minutes later my alarm clock rings loudly. I sigh and get up, maybe I can pass the time with school. I get ready and head to school. Feeling like I look like trash but not caring.
I walk into the school and just go through the motions. I feel broken. I went through my classes and went home. I did this until school was over. I decided I would just go to U of W.
Charlie didn't see anything wrong with me, I would pretend for him and make him dinner and that was the only time I think we actually saw each other. Little did he know I had a constant pain in my chest. All summer I was distraught. I wanted it to end but I still had hope that he would come back. I couldn't just give up. I had begun to believe him when he said we were mates.
I also looked up the Whitlocks and he was right…they were hunters of Vampiria. But I wasn't scared. Even when I found out they were immortal and had no way to kill them. They stayed the age they were when they found out they were Whitlocks.
I guess Edward was 18. Either way he was my mate and he had left me to find his dad so that they could discuss human mates. I found this fucking absurd but what can you do.
I read his note a lot during the day. I believed him when he said he would come back. Who wouldn't? When he said that how can you not believe him.
So I sat in bed unless I was making dinner or taking a shower. Until the dreams happened again and I would wake up screaming so I even gave up on that, too. That is when Charlie knew something was wrong.
The dreams came back in June, and Charlie found out in early July that I was depressed again. He didn't know why though. He couldn't find out what triggered it. All he knew was my meds were doubled again when he made me go to the doctor.
I was miserable. I didn't start college till another year, I took off for 'exploring my life'. Or whatever I told Charlie and the dean. Honestly I just didn't want to get out of bed. I didn't want to be here. I gave up on him coming back to me. I barely knew him anyway. So I just lay in bed. I never wanted to get back up again.
Suddenly, the pain in my chest was lessening. Little by little. It felt like I could finally breathe again. Like all the water I felt I was drowning in was evaporating. But it started going again, and I was burning. But then, it stopped again till it was almost bearable. I thought I heard my window open but I was not sure.
I felt the blankets move and someone slip behind me. And I automatically knew who it was. I turned and looked into those jade green eyes, and said…