"Why isn't he waking up?" Leia asked Dr. Vilk, who'd come to check on Luke for the last time in the day.
"It is strange," Vilk agreed. "But it's not a bad sign. He needs every bit of strength he can muster to fight the infection, and sleeping it off is a good strategy. But if his condition remains unchanged tomorrow..." he worried at his lips, "...we'll see."
"His condition is not worsening, is it?" Leia asked uneasily, unconsciously stroking the inert hand.
Vilk shook his head.
"It's stable."
'For now,' an inner voice murmured inside Leia's head.
Dr. Vilk studied Leia's expression, almost as if he could read her mind.
"I'll come back first thing in the morning," he told the Princess. "Get some sleep now and keep the faith. No news is good news."
Leia nodded assent, and after the doctor squeezed her shoulder kindly and left, she got ready for bed.
'This is a happy moment. The happiest moment of my life.'
'Why couldn't I save her?'
'I will even learn to stop people from dying!'
'I love you, and I love our baby. I will love you both forever.'
'I promise you.'
'LIAR!'
'I HATE YOU!'
'We have a new enemy. The young rebel who destroyed the Death Star.'
'He's just a boy. Obi-Wan can no longer help him.'
'The son of Skywalker must not become a Jedi.'
'If he could be turned, he would become a powerful ally.'
'I am your father.'
'NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! NO!'
'Son, come with me.'
'Everyone lied to me!'
'I came to see if you and the baby are safe.'
'I won't lose you.'
'Daddy, where are you? I need you!'
'Luke! Answer me!'
'I need you so much!'
'I love you, and I love our baby.'
'My whole life has been a lie and I want to die.'
'NO!'
'DIE!'
'I will love you both forever.'
'Forever.'
'FOREVER.'
Leia jolted and jumped out of bed before she was even awake enough to understand what she was doing. Trembling and breathing harshly, she looked around until she remembered where she was. Automatically, she turned her head and looked down at the broken young man in the sterilized bed.
Big, blue, lifeless and infinitely loving eyes were looking up at her, following her every movement.
"Hey!" she smiled enthusiastically, rushing up to his side. "Look who's here!" She took hold of the sheet and blanket that covered him up to mid-chest, and tucked him in more snugly. "How are you feeling?"
Luke let out a tired and oddly peaceful smile. He stared at Leia with quiet, unthreatening intensity, as if engraving her image in his mind.
Leia tipped her head to one side, returning his staring curiously. Until, for some reason, she began to feel a bit unnerved.
"You could make a girl blush, looking at her like that, you know?" she teased him timidly.
His smile widened with a bittersweet sadness that tore at her heart, and then, she saw the crystal tear sliding down the corner of his eye and falling on the pillow.
"Shhhh, no," she cooed to him, wiping the tear track away delicately. "Don't cry, don't cry," she gave him a tremulous smile. "It's not your fault, Luke. None of this is your fault!" she assured him with all the passion in her being. "Don't give up now. Please, don't let him win!"
His lips moved as if in slow motion.
"H-He... He's..." he breathed with evident effort. "He's... already... already won," he gasped out painfully.
"No! He'll win only if you let him! I promise you no one will ever know. I swear it!" Leia made the most sacred vow of her life.
Luke shook his head weakly.
"I know you, Luke," Leia insisted with everything she had. "You could never be like him. I know what's in your heart. No matter how great the temptation, your soul is pure. Nothing could ever corrupt you! Don't ever fear that!"
The tears returned in full force.
"You... don't... understand," Luke croaked throatily. His breathing was coming in short, heavy gasps. "We are... in... in grave danger."
"W-What do you mean?" Leia asked, paling in foreboding.
The sunken eyes stared at her, begging forgiveness.
"He... touched my mind when we... we..." his lungs took an agonic breath, "we were... in the Falcon."
Shocked at the revelation, Leia swallowed hard.
"I've been trying... to... to block him out since then," beads of sweat appeared on his forehead and brow. "I can't... let my guard... down or... he could... could find out our l-" he fought for breath, "location... through me."
The Princess was rendered speechless by the unthinkable piece of news that changed everything.
"I could... betray..." Luke's eyes began to redden in his attempt to explain himself, "betray us all. I'm... endangering the Al- Alliance, Leia," his pouting gesture reminded the young woman of a terrified little boy, devastated by a transgression that could cost them all dearly.
Leia opened her mouth, but no sound came out of it. She was downright petrified.
A little wail escaped the broken body.
"Force! I can't... take this anymore. Please... PLEASE!" he implored, turning his eyes to the ceiling. Rivulets of tears ran down his face in inconsolable grief and shame.
His anguished cry shook Leia out of her paralysis.
"Oh, Luke. My Luke!" she moaned, reaching out to touch the side of his face tenderly.
Luke's eyes rolled back and his body started to shake.
The Princess gasped out in horror the moment she touched him.
He was burning, burning with fever!
"Luke! LUKE!" she cried out, losing all sense of composure. "LUKE, NO! STAY! STAY WITH ME, PLEASE!" she screamed, knowing in her deepest core that he was giving up for good.
And then, he started to convulse.
"LUKE. LUKE!" she hit the intercom with her fist while trying to restrain him with her other hand. "DOCTOR! DOCTOR VILK! DOCTOR VILK!"
Never did three seconds feel so long, but at last, the doors opened and Dr. Vilk ran into the room, followed by three nurses.
Before he reached them, Vilk was already muttering to himself.
"No, no, no, no, young man. Don't do this to me. No, no, no, no..."
One look was enough. He started shouting at the nurses while holding Luke down with both arms.
"Give him antipyretics, anti-inflammatories. The highest doses he can tolerate. NOW!"
Leia stepped back and covered her face with her hands, trembling from head to foot. This couldn't be happening. Couldn't be happening. COULDN'T BE HAPPENING!
"He's not responding, doctor," a nurse reported seconds later, with the same intonation as if she was reporting an ingrown toenail.
"Ice! Bring here all the ice packs available! Quick!" Vilk ordered, moving back a little and bumping into Leia. "Please, go!" he asked her gently but firmly.
"NO! I want to stay with him! I NEED TO STAY WITH HIM!" she cried out, bordering on hysteria.
Two nurses bypassed her as they left, looking for the ice.
"Please, your highness, don't make things more difficult," Vilk asked. "Let us do our job. Leave now!" he ordered unceremoniously. "I said NOW!" he yelled, losing his patience for the first time.
Turning about, Leia ran from the room.
"And two cooling blankets!" were the last words she heard before the doors closed after her.
Half an hour had passed, and Dr. Vilk was still inside the sterilized room. The robot nurses rolled in and out every few minutes, bringing equipment and medication on the double.
Leia was sitting in the couch in the adjacent room, totally oblivious to her surroundings, almost in a catatonic state. Beside her, holding her hand in unwavering support, was Dr. Senna.
Auren suspected the Princess was convinced this was the end, and although she'd rather hope for the best, deep down she acknowledged the fact that things looked grim.
More minutes passed until, with a muted sound, the doors opened and an exhausted Doctor Vilk emerged, dragging his feet along like an old man.
Leia sprang from the couch on hearing the sound of the opening doors, and Auren followed her, wondering how she had known without looking that it was Vilk this time.
No one spoke for a few seconds. They just studied one another, afraid of being the first to break the silence.
"He's alive," Vilk finally said, shaking his head, "but..."
"How long?" Leia asked with chilling calmness. Auren looked at her with a start.
Vilk met her eyes with an apologetic, defeated expression.
"48 hours - 72 at most. The infection has spread to several organs. Lungs, liver... and now his kidneys are beginning to fail."
Leia was no doctor, but she knew enough to understand that when kidney failure set in, then it was over. Her jaw began to quiver.
"Is he in pain, doctor?" she asked in the tiniest voice.
"No," Vilk replied kindly. "And he won't be, I promise you that," he squeezed the young woman's shoulder almost paternally. She looked so small, so alone... He would give anything to spare her this. "He's connected to several machines that are keeping his organs working. The fever is still very high, and we're using cooling blankets."
Leia stood still, her gaze lost into the distance.
"The nurses are getting everything ready. You'll be able to enter very soon," Vilk reassured her.
Leia didn't say a word. She didn't even seem to be there anymore.
Vilk looked at Dr. Senna, asking for help.
Auren wrapped her arm around Leia's shoulders and held her close. Leia blinked a couple times and the tears ran down her cheeks for the first time.
"Your highness..." Vilk had to say it, it was his duty as a doctor, but it broke his heart to even think of it. "...if at some point you think it would be best for him to... If you think he would prefer to not prolong this situation needlessly..."
"Thank you, doctor," Leia spared him having to say the words. "I'll let you know my decision," she bit her lower lip, almost breaking the skin.
Senna and Vilk shared a quick look of understanding. Auren reached out and wiped Leia's tears away with trembling fingers.
Just then, the nurses exited the room.
"You can get in now," Vilk told her softly. "I'll see to it that you're not disturbed more than strictly necessary."
Leia took a shuddering breath and, summoning her strength somehow, she broke away from Auren's embrace and took a couple steps forward. Then, she stopped and half-turned hesitatingly.
"Would you walk in with me, Auren?" she asked the older woman. "I... I don't want to be alone right now."
"Of course," Auren nodded, walking up to her.
Vilk watched them enter the room. The doors closed behind them and all of a sudden, everything was silence.
"I'm so sorry," he whispered to the empty room before walking away.
The image the two women encountered upon entering was unmerciful, ruthless. Luke's bed was surrounded by machines that emitted low-pitched noises and hisses as they pumped him full of the nutrients he needed, and kept his organs working at the same time.
But the most shocking image of all was the barely human body in the bed, dwarfed by the machinery and devoured by illness. The cooling blankets reached his collarbones, showing he wore no clothes underneath.
Leia held back a cry when she was close enough to see his face. She covered her mouth with her hand and let out a muffled wail.
His nose, cheekbones, forehead and chin stuck out so sharply that it was gruesome. He was skin and bones. Pale, dry skin, consumed from within.
Auren's eyes filled with tears at the sight, and her heart ached with compassion and a brutal thought – the desire that Leia would put an end to the suffering that was so patent in every painful breath the young man took.
Sobbing, Leia walked over to his bedside. She couldn't look, she didn't want to look, but she did and she wanted to die.
"Oh, Luke. What can I do? WHAT CAN I DO?" she whimpered in despair. She touched his forehead and shivered at the sensation. He was both hot and deadly cold. Walking the fine line between life and death already.
She collapsed on the chair by the bed, burying her face in her hands.
"I can't do it, Auren. I can't! I'm not ready to say goodbye; not yet!" she wept hopelessly.
"It's all right," Auren sighed, crouching beside her. "Take your time. I'm sure he'll understand," she caressed her head maternally.
Auren stayed beside her while Leia cried her heart out.
"Lord Vader," Piett's voice brought the Sith Lord out of his contemplation.
"Admiral," Vader said darkly.
"It is the Emperor. He wishes to speak with you immediately."
There was a brief pause.
"Your time is almost over, Admiral," the mechanical voice announced dispassionately.
"Yes, milord," Piett nodded with remarkable aplomb as the black form turned about and left.
"What is thy bidding, my master?" Vader's anger was a simmering fire just beneath the surface of his emotions. But he'd learned to hide them well.
The well-known holographic image materialized in front of the kneeling Dark Lord.
"The disturbance in the Force is becoming stronger with every passing hour, Lord Vader," Palpatine stared down at his apprentice with laser eyes.
"I know, my master," Vader admitted.
"The balance of the Force is about to shift permanently; in favour of the Darkness, I would venture to say," rotten teeth were revealed in a twisted smile.
"It is possible," Vader agreed. His heart beat savagely in his chest, as if trying to fight that outcome by sheer force of will.
"How is your search for young Skywalker coming?"
"Ineffective, master." And wasn't that the truth?
"Who knows? Maybe our dilemma will sort itself out on its own. Would that not be exquisitely ironic?" Palpatine's pleasure at the prospect resonated in the Force with perverted glee, as the holograph slowly dissolved.
And for the first time, Vader's deep hatred was all directed at the abomination who had created him.
Physically and emotionally destroyed, Leia had fallen into a restless sleep. Making sure that she was comfortably tucked into her seat, Auren left to look for something the Princess' stomach could handle.
Disturbing images filled the distraught sleeper's mind. Images of a blond, blue-eyed little boy weeping himself to sleep night after night, and crying out his pain and loneliness to the heavens day after day. Nothing she hadn't dreamed of before.
But then, unexpectedly, wondrously, the dream changed. A dark, nebulous silhouette appeared in the distance, getting closer and closer to the sobbing child. The little boy eventually caught sight of it, and his sweet face lit up.
'DADDY!' he shouted, running towards the dark form as fast as his little legs allowed him.
The tall figure set off running towards the child and they met halfway. The young man dropped to his knees with his arms wide open, and the child slammed into him, holding onto his back for dear life.
'Daddy! Oh, daddy! Is it really you? Oh, daddy, I'm not dreaming, am I?'
'You're not dreaming, my little one; and neither am I. We're together now and we'll never be alone again! Never again!' the young man promised, crushing the small body to his breast.
'I love you. I love you so much, daddy! Don't go. Please, don't go again!' the child wept, burrowing into the young man as if wanting to disappear in him.
'Never! I'll never leave you, my baby. We will never be parted again! Never. Never! NEVER!'
The deeply entwined bodies pressed harder against each other. The child nuzzled his father's shoulder and the young man cupped the vulnerable head in his palm, cradling the boy like the most precious treasure.
A blissful eternity later they let go just enough to gaze at one another. Trembling hands soon joined in, and loving fingertips worshipped the beloved face reverently.
Inside her dream, Leia was stricken by the youth's beauty. Blond, blue-eyed, straight nose, strong, masculine jaw and a dimple on the chin that reminded her so much of... But oh, the look in his eyes as he stared at his son! It was poetry, it was love incarnated!
The brown gauntlet – gauntlet? – the young man wore on his right arm barely dared to touch the flushed face. It just framed the soft cheek almost like begging forgiveness.
The little boy tried to kiss his father's palm over and over, but the young man wouldn't allow it. It was almost as if he feared he would soil the child with his touch.
'You are perfect, my little angel,' he whispered to the boy, who blushed endearingly, kissing his father's hand at last. Reaching out unsteadily, the tiny fingers adored the face of the Father, wiping his tears away and just... caressing, caressing, caressing. Cheeks, forehead, nose, lips, chin, eyebrows... all of him.
The young man let himself go and covered the beautiful face with kisses, everywhere, desperate to compensate for all the heartache.
Tears soon got their faces wet again, but it didn't matter. These tears they could live with. These tears were their reward.
It was a symphony of boundless love. A love so pure and true that could ignite a sun, a galaxy, an entire universe.
Or redeem it.
Leia's eyes blinked open. The moment she did she let out a faint moan, clinging to the fading images of the dream and the rapturous emotions it stirred.
'No. NO! NONONONONONONO!' her mind wailed time and again. It was too beautiful. TOO beautiful! It couldn't just be a dream! It couldn't fade away just like that!
She rose from the chair on quivering legs, and walked groggily towards the bed.
She could hardly breathe. Her heart, her soul... they were so full! There were no words in any language to define the beauty, the completion she felt deep inside. This was how she wanted to feel for the rest of her life. It was LOVE in its purest form. It was a sublime state of being that couldn't possibly exist in this realm.
"Oh, Luke!" she groaned, reaching out a heavy hand and caressing the fevered brow. "Is this your most cherished dream? Is this childlike... purity the real essence of you? Did I just catch a glimpse of your untouched self?" her fingers slid through the blond strands, feeling them tickle her hand. "My dear one, every minute we shared, has been a gift, and I'd give my life to return if only a small part of what you've given me," she sighed and looked up in supplication. "I wish..."
The doors opened and Auren walked in, carrying a tray.
"Oh, I-I'm sorry!" the woman apologized, seeing that she had intruded on a very private moment. "Do you want me to come back later?" she asked, embarrased.
"No," Leia smiled softly at her, feeling strangely at peace. And even more astonishing. Hopeful.
Auren put the tray with the soup and the glass of juice she had brought on an empty table aside and walked over to Leia, curious at the look in her eyes and her expression.
"Are you all right?" she asked. "You seem..."
Leia shook her head slowly, almost as if in a trance.
"I just had the most incredible dream, Auren," her voice floated up to the older woman's ears.
"Tell me," Auren tilted her head sideways in her usual attentive gesture.
The brown eyes fell closed, overwhelmed by the memory of the dream, still so fresh in her mind. She would remember it for as long as she lived.
"There are no words! No words to even try to explain..." Leia bit her lower lip as the flood of feelings and emotions returned, amplified tenfold. "The absolute love, the exultant happiness... I feel as if I had walked through his naked soul and seen him... Oh, Auren, you can't possibly know what I felt!" she shivered at the sensations that ran through her trembling spirit. "If only I could make his dream come true..."
Something in Leia stiffened at her own words and then the craziest, most insane notion began to form...
No... No. Just... NO. It was flat out of the question. It was unimaginable. A betrayal of her principles, not to mention treason. She couldn't be seriously...
"It's understandable that you want to do something special for him before..." Auren stopped cold and called herself all different kinds of insensitive fool for her unthinking, clumsy words.
"I know," Leia shook her head, willing her rebellious thoughts away. But the seed had been planted and it had found the most fertile ground to grow. Love. Her immeasurable love for the angel who lay in his deathbed in front of her.
Her eyes turned helplessly to him, and she knew that a big part of her had made a decision already.
The rational part of her that still resisted tried to distract her, to make her forget about the plan that was already forming in the back of her mind.
"He always looked younger than he was," she thought back instinctively to the day they met. "But don't let his babyface fool you," her fingers resumed their rhythmic caress, soothing herself through the touch. "He's so intuitive, so resourceful, so smart, and the best pilot I've ever seen in combat."
Auren nodded at that. The destruction of the Death Star was a testament to Luke Skywalker's skill as a pilot.
Aching to let go of the insistent, stubborn images in her head that wouldn't go away, Leia kept talking. And talking.
"As I got to know him better, I realized there was more to him than met the eye," her eyes softened. "He was so innocent, so naïve sometimes... And yet, he blew me away with his profound insight, his unerring capacity to see beyond the surface of things, and people," she looked away, in wonder. "I could talk to him about everything until the wee hours of the morning. My fears, my hopes... my family..." she blinked back tears at the memory of her losses. But now wasn't the time to dwell on them, for Luke's losses rivalled and even surpassed her own. "And he shared his dreams and hopes with me too; his memories of his foster family... We found such comfort in each other."
'I love you. I love you so much, daddy! Don't go. Please, don't go again!'
'Never! I'll never leave you, my baby. We will never be parted again! Never. Never! NEVER!'
The abrupt flashback hit hard, so hard that it left her shaking inside. She closed her eyes against it, but its raw beauty pounded at her defences relentlessly, raising goosebumps all over her body.
"He's... an old soul," she found herself saying out of the blue. "So full of hope and forgiveness," she shivered again.
That's what was so irresistible about the dream, she suddenly realized. It was showing her Luke's deepest hopes and needs, and the cathartic fulfilment of them. But... could those needs be also Vader's, as preposterous as the idea would seem? Were Luke's hopes and needs actually reciprocated? Was that what the dreams were telling her?
Was there any way for her to find out before it was too late?
"It never occurred to me before, but... Is Luke related to Anakin Skywalker in any way?" Auren asked candidly, unaware of what she was about to unleash.
Leia's heart almost stopped beating at the question. She turned her head towards the older woman as nonchalantly as she could manage.
"Did you know Anakin Skywalker?" she asked casually.
"Are you kidding?" Auren's eyes twinkled. "He was the poster boy of the Old Republic. 'The Hero With No Fear.' I don't think there was a teenage girl, or any woman for that matter, who didn't have a crush on him."
Leia stared at her friend, stunned beyond words.
Oblivious to Leia's reaction, Auren continued on a roll.
"I even got to see him in person once."
'All right. All right. Calm down now,' Leia chided herself sternly. 'You *have* to take it easy.'
"Really?" she asked, raising her eyebrows as if Auren's words had merely piqued her curiosity.
Auren nodded eagerly, and for a moment she was the girl who got to meet her teenage crush so many years ago.
"It was... I don't know... A few weeks after the Clone Wars started," she began her tale, making an effort to remember the details. "But by then, he was already famous for the battles he had engaged in and the amazing victories he had won for the Republic."
Leia simply couldn't believe what she was hearing. Auren was talking about Darth Vader.
DARTH VADER, the monster. The demon.
"I was fifteen-sixteen years old, and I went on a trip to the Art Museum on Coruscant with my school. There were kids of all ages there," Auren reminisced. "Anyway, when we were leaving, someone spotted him walking down the street," she shook her head condescendingly. "It was madness after that. Everybody ran up to him and the older man who accompanied him and bombarded him with questions about the battles he'd been in, telling him how much they admired him..."
Leia nodded, still trying to wrap her mind around Auren's story.
"His answers were blunt and short, and I could tell he didn't like to talk about it. It really hurt him to remember," Auren's eyes filled with regret. "When it seemed they would finally let him go, a nervous little voice asked him if he was afraid of going into battle and sad at killing others." Deep into her memories now, Auren frowned. "Immediately, all the other kids started insulting the boy for asking that question, claiming that Anakin Skywalker didn't fear anything because he was a hero."
Vividly interested, Leia edged subtly forward.
"And what happened?" she asked.
"He did the very thing that made me fall for him, completely and forever," Auren said with clouded eyes. "He raised his voice for the first time and asked the children why they were attacking the little boy."
Swallowing hard, Auren kept talking with a catch in her voice.
"He walked up to the child and squatted down in front of him. He took his chin in his hand and made him meet his eyes. The little boy was crying in silence and hardly dared to hold his gaze. He wiped his tears away and told him it was the most intelligent question he'd ever been asked. He said that yes, he was afraid every single time he went into battle, that he would be a fool if he wasn't because he could die at any moment, and everyone is afraid to die."
Leia straightened up, unable to equate the Anakin Skywalker her friend's story was portraying with the mass murderer, unrepentant killer she so hated.
"Then..." Auren bit her lips, closing her eyes for a second, "...he looked around and glared at the other children with this look full of..." she looked up with a sigh, trying to find the words, "I don't know... Anger, pain, torment... And said that all life is special, unique and sacred, and it tore him apart to destroy it. He said that war was the lowest state of being because we were all reduced to our basest animal instincts and turned into monsters."
Leia's bewilderment knew no bounds.
Auren ground her teeth as she realized that Anakin Skywalker's words perfectly applied to the here and now. She only had to look at the dying young man before her to see the horrors of war in the flesh.
"Did he say anything else?" Leia's weak voice snapped her out of her thoughts.
"Yes," Auren nodded, without taking her eyes off Luke. "He stood up again, put his hand on the boy's head and caressed it, almost in a fatherly manner. He said that attacking someone just because they're different or think different is cowardly. That everyone is deserving of respect and tolerance, and the lack of those had taken us all to the situation we were in," she drew in a shuddering breath, remembering what came next. "And then, he took off the gauntlet he wore on his right arm, and showed us his mechanical prosthesis."
Leia paled like a ghost and reached for the back of the chair she'd been sitting in to keep from collapsing.
"'These are the consequences of hatred and war,' he said. 'Don't forget it.'" Instantly realizing the eerie parallelism with Luke's case, Auren turned sharply to Leia with a gasp. "Oh, my...!"
The Princess seemed to be in shock, grabbing the back of the chair and looking into the distance with her eyes wide open. She was clearly hyperventilating.
"Leia!" Auren reached out and took hold of her shoulder, trying to calm her down and make her focus. "Leia, you must..."
Something seemed to explode in the younger woman, and recovering with a speed that left the good doctor reeling, she ran out of the room.
"Stay with him until I return!" she shouted before the doors closed after her.
TO BE CONTINUED...