"Director. I have Kara on radar." Winn said rushing into Alex's room before realising his entrance had woken Eliza and Maggie, causing him to add. "Sorry."
"You've found Kara?" Eliza asked groggily but hopefully.
"Um, yes. She is showing up on the radar."
"I will go and get her." J'onn said. He then squeezed Eliza's shoulder and said. "I'll bring her back."
-00-
"Kara. What are you doing out here?" J'onn asked when he finally found her sitting on the CatCo roof in the rain.
"Is Alex..."
"Alex will be fine. She came through surgery and Hamilton is confident." J'onn assured her. "So what are you doing out here?"
"Thinking."
"Why aren't you at the DEO, with Alex?"
"No one wants me there. Alex was shot because of me." Kara said.
"What happened wasn't your fault." J'onn said.
"Yes it was."
"Kara you are not responsible for the actions of others. Alex chose to jump in front of that bullet."
"She shouldn't have felt the need. I should have been stronger and faster."
"Kara, there wasn't anything any of us could do."
"I should be better than that." Kara said bitterly.
"Come back to the DEO. See for yourself that Alex is okay."
"No one wants me there."
"Kara, the only person who doesn't want you there is you. Eliza is worried about you." J'onn said.
"She should be worrying about Alex. I'll just get in the way."
"Kara, what's going on?" J'onn asked.
"I screw up everything." Kara said.
"Kara you couldn't have done anything about what happened, but you can help Alex now." J'onn said going for a different tactic.
"That's what I'm trying to do." Kara said confusing him.
"Hiding up here is not helping Alex. Right now Maggie and Eliza are sitting in a small room, don't you think that will stress Alex out?" J'onn tried. "Come back with me and talk to Eliza. After that if you want to leave I won't stop you."
-00-
"Kara!" Eliza said when she saw her drenched foster daughter. Jumping up she pulled Kara into a hug but was immediately concerned when Kara stood their limply. Pulling away she cupped Kara's face and asked. "Are you okay?"
"I'm sorry." Kara said.
"For what Sweetie?" Eliza asked concerned with how lost Kara was looking.
"Not protecting Alex."
"Kara, the bullets had Kryptonite in. There was no way Alex wasn't going to jump in front of them." Maggie said.
"Kryptonite?" Kara asked confused.
"You didn't know?" Maggie asked equally confused.
"No." Kara said shaking her head.
"That's why we were trying to keep you away from Alex." Maggie said feeling guilty.
"Did the Krytponite not effect you?" J'onn asked.
"I don't know." Kara said.
"Kara, this is important if it didn't effect you like it normally does it may be synthetic." J'onn said.
"I felt weak and nauseous, but I thought that was because Alex was...had been shot." Kara said.
"I'm going to chase the results from the tests that were run on the bullet." J'onn said before leaving the room.
"Why don't you sit down?" Eliza suggested to Kara who was standing looking at Alex.
"No, I need to go." Kara said.
"Go where?" Eliza asked concerned.
"Home. I need to change and I'm going to try to get some sleep." She said moments before leaving the room leaving Eliza dumbfounded.
"Kara, wait up." Maggie called hurrying after her. When Kara continued accelerating away from her she complained. "Using your powers is cheating."
"You should stay with Alex." Kara said reluctantly turning.
"Not until I'm sure you're okay."
"I'm fine."
"You do remember that my job is to tell when people are lying and extract the truth?" Maggie asked. "You thought I was telling you to get away from Alex because I blamed you didn't you?"
When Kara nodded Maggie said.
"I told you to get back because Alex had a Kryptonite bullet in her and I knew that was harming you. Not because I blamed you."
"You should blame me. I should be protecting Alex. I am the one with powers."
"Except Kryptonite can kill you." Maggie reminded her. "You think Alex is going to blame you? She's not. But she is going to be mad at you for disappearing when someone is out there with Kryptonite bullets."
"I'm not disappearing, I'm just going home to get some rest. You're right, Kryptonite does harm me, so I need to sleep."
"You could sleep here. Don't you have special lamps or something here?" Maggie asked.
"I'll be more comfortable at home." Kara said before disappearing in a blur.
-00-
Kara sat on her couch wrapped up in a blanket watching an old Doris Day film when someone knocked on her door. Turning she looked through the door and saw Lena on the other side. For a moment she thought she would ignore her, but when Lena knocked again Kara felt guilty about her behaviour the previous night and went to the door.
"I'm so sorry." Kara said when she opened the door.
"For what?" Lena asked, taken aback by the greeting.
"Last night. I never should have disturbed you."
"Kara, you were upset and you needed someone to talk to. My door is always open. I hope you know that. But you really worried me this morning, disappearing like that."
"I didn't want to intrude." Kara said.
"You are never an intrusion." Lena said as Kara let her into her apartment. "How's your sister?"
"Stable."
"That's good. But why aren't you at the hospital?"
"I'm not needed. I'm a hindrance." Kara said. "Alex is in a good place in her life at the moment and every time I see her I risk damaging that."
"Kara, what's going on?" Lena asked suddenly noticing lots of boxes stacked in the apartment.
"Have you ever wondered what life would be like if something major in your life hadn't happened?" Kara asked seemingly changing subjects.
"Of course. I was orphaned at four and I always wonder how my life would have turned out if that hadn't happen and if I had never become a Luthor."
"If you found out people you care about would have had better lives if you hadn't been part of it would you want to remove yourself from their lives."
"I'm not following." Lena said unsure where Kara was going. "What exactly are you feeling right now?"
"I saw how good Alex's life could be if it weren't for me. I feel so guilty, but I know what I have to do, but I'm scared, and it is selfish but I want to say goodbye, but I know that will make it worse. I just want...it doesn't matter."
"What do you want Kara?"
"It'll sound stupid."
"I'm sure it won't and I did ask." Lena smiled encouragingly.
"I want a hug." Seeing Lena look first surprised and then uncomfortable Kara added. "I told you it was stupid."
"No it's not. It's just, well you've met my mother, my adoptive mother, my family weren't big on hugs."
"That's awful." Kara said hugging Lena who wondered who the main beneficiary of this particular hug was now meant to be.
"I'm worried about you." Lena said as she pulled away. "Kara, you are my friend. Or at least I hope you are my friend and that means I am here for you. You can tell me anything."
"Well if I were you I would run away." Kara said bitterly. "Everything I do I screw up. Everyone I interact with ends up hurt."
"That's not true Kara. You help so many people through all aspects of your life."
"No. I hurt people. And Mon- Mike was right I don't help people because I am a good person, I help them because it makes me feel good."
"Kara, you do amazing things and so what if they make you feel better about yourself?"
"I'm meant to be a good person. I wanted to be a good person. But I'm no better than anyone else in my family. I say one thing but my actions are bad."
"If you ask any of the people you have saved from burning cars, crashing planes, falling cranes they are grateful to be alive and none of them would want you not to be happy."
"You know?" Kara guessed too tired to even bother denying it.
"I do." Lena confessed.
"How? When?"
"My first meeting with Supergirl you. Glasses aren't exactly a good disguise. And then of course there was the time you came to my office as you and said you flew to my office, on a bus. And let's not forget this morning when there was the escape act from my office. I know you didn't leave through the door as I was sat outside the entire time."
"Why didn't you say something?"
"I assumed if you wanted me to know you would tell me. The fact you didn't tell me suggested you didn't want me to know. Seeing who my brother is I can't say I blame you. But the way you are acting suggests your problems run deeper than just Kara Danvers."
"I've spent my entire life on Earth hiding who I was." Kara said. "Telling the truth is actually hard. Plus Alex gets really stressed when new people find out."
"Well we can keep the fact I know a secret if it helps. I can pretend not to know."
"Alex would figure it out." Kara said. "But it doesn't matter anyway. I'm leaving. The city doesn't need Supergirl. The DEO did just fine without me helping round up aliens."
"And the criminals you bring to justice? The people you save from disaster?" Lena asked.
"The Guardian can do that here. There are other cities with greater problems and less help."
"What about Kara Danvers and all your friends and family? What about your sister?"
"She doesn't need me. At the moment all I seem to do is get in her way. The world would be better without Kara Danvers."
"No one who has met you would believe that." Lena said. "Kara I'm not sure what has happened to make you feel like this but what I do know is this city would not be better without you. For what it is worth I would miss you if you left. But if you really feel like you have to go I won't try to stop you. But please don't rush into any decisions. Think about it for a couple of days and see me before you do anything."
TBC...
A/N: Thanks for reading and reviewing.