Chapter 4: Damned Devilish Dreams (Part 1)
A/N
Hello again people! Thanks to this great response, the story is heading to 2000 hits already and so I thank you all. Hi and thanks to the new people who added this to their favorite/alert lists and to the previous reviewers: MCMLX, Nilrecurring and HeavyDreamerDeme.
I will admit this chapter was a tiring pain. So much that I've had to divide it into two parts. Next chapter or part to follow will be uploaded in the next few days at least because it was taking too much time for it to be written for this chapter if it were combined (Look at the number of words by itself: over 4000! We have a new winner). So stay tuned. This is just a word of warning: this chapter is rated M for some sexual content. Hopefully it isn't too awkward when reading it but anyway. Enjoy…I guess. *Ahem ahem* and I'm sorry if it is getting repetitive already but it's just keeping the flow going. I assure you more exciting things are to come.
Her mind was afflicted. Her mind was possessed. All by the one man she had just encountered for the second time. To think that it was peculiar for him to be circulating in her mind after their first meeting; Natasha was completely wrong as their second meeting had amplified all thoughts about him in her mind.
Loki hadn't returned after that surprise visit for nearly a week. Could she dare say that she was being kept waiting? Natasha had lost all control from that visit and it was distracting her entirety to complex extents.
If sights, images, thoughts and mentions of him were everywhere; it wasn't any different for dreams.
Natasha had been experiencing some restless sleep and particular flashes of images of Loki. Dammit. Her mind was obsessed of his being and she couldn't do anything to cease all these acts. Yet one particular night involving a dream had left her completely flustered and haunted.
She was in a blank and empty, dark space and oddly enough, she simply had a bed sheet wrapped around what felt like her possibly naked torso. The room transformed to a bedroom along with a far echoed chuckle that belonged to only one person. She immediately jumped to conclusions of what this dream was. "Get me out of here" She repeated in her head. Was it possible to exit a dream by command? But it wasn't working and the scenario advanced without further ado.
Natasha heard the air whiz past behind her. As if a figure had zoomed through the shadows. "Where are you?" She called out to the dim room. There was no response except for another swift movement through the air. She revolved on the spot to try and find him but Loki in the dream was quite mischievous and taunting.
There was another faint call of a cackle that could be overheard. Natasha's paranoia was escalating from this torment that was playing with her. She held the sheet covering her body tightly. She had never been so fearful or defenseless but it was all because of the one man terrorizing her. Another swift movement zipped through the space at her left side.
Natasha frantically tried to find a sort of exit but the stretching space of the room meant this was the permanent setting. Behind her, Loki had finally broken the hushed tension that was in the air. "Trying to leave… or escape? I find that rather unconventional though as you are attempting to leave before the guest can arrive" Natasha had frozen at his voice which already was sending jolts of tremors through her body. She rapidly turned around expecting to see his complacent facade but Loki wasn't visible.
Natasha stepped towards the direction he heard his voice searching for his physical presence yet she muttered to herself "Get away from me"
His voice returned at the other direction "You tell me to leave but you were the one who summoned me here. You need to clarify and choose correctly Natasha"
She was turning around in such a fast, stressed manner which proved unusual in comparison to her calm and collected image. Natasha still was too slow to catch sight of him if he did in fact appear behind her before he faded again. "No I didn't. I don't want you here or anywhere near me"
"Don't deceive Natasha. Especially to everyone else or yourself" This time, she had revolved on the spot in time to see the last sight of him as his image dissolved into the air. His snarky expression was still detectable in Natasha's vision.
"That isn't the right way to treat a guest again. How many times has that been that I've had to point that out?"
"Well how can you expect me to treat you right when I can't even see you?" Natasha's true nature was warily coming through again enabling her to act at equal to Loki. It was a delay of response from him as it seemed he was taking that observation into account.
"Hm, clever. Yet, I take part of your reply to demonstrate how you already miss my appearance or presence" Natasha revolved slowly this time to finally see the fully emerged Loki. He was much more claimed superior and vain this time as it was written over his entire being and behaviour. It could be said now that it was starting to irritate Natasha rather than gain her interest.
"Are you happy now? Being able to see me face-to-face again? Our meetings have been very fascinating and have granted us with a lingering wish to meet each other again. I know on my behalf I do and with you…search deep down inside to find your answer. Not the one that surfaces on wanted inclination. Either way, you can call it fate or coincidence or intended purpose. Yet at the end of the day, there is still a possible universal wish making us want to see each other to reveal an undisclosed certainty"
Natasha watched him from a fair distance across the room and remained quiet.
"Do you remember what I said to you the first time we met?" Loki began to advance towards her through the faintly illuminated and empty space. Natasha didn't move or answer. "I mentioned a lot of things in the conversation but in particular, I referred to innocence and evil didn't I?"
She didn't even blink or make a noise at Loki coming towards her. Natasha wanted to remain sturdy.
"You know, your ignorant evasion to properly communicate with me won't help you here. I know you wish to leave but do be a fair lady and co-operate with me"
Natasha couldn't retain her frustration "Would you stop doing that?"
Loki was slightly taken aback at Natasha's outburst and stopped moving to let her persist.
"Stop referring to me as centrally a woman because I am more than that. And the way you either say lady or maiden annoys me since it classifies me as some weak object. You along with all the other types of men I've met underestimate me"
Loki started to pace around Natasha in a circle "But I am just no other man Natasha and you know that. You dare to be so strong and upheld but who is it out of this room that is most exposed? Most vulnerable? Both in metaphorical and literal terms. Signs point to the one that is least clothed here" Natasha's grip on the bed sheet around her stiffened again. "Don't be naïve Natasha or demonstrate such false strength"
It was true of what Loki was stating. Natasha did feel that she was displaying artificial potency even for just a dream. Loki could interpret her quite easily which was something she didn't enjoy as it left her in an appalled state. He was the one person that created a challenge of domination over general matters or herself.
"Let us bring it back to the initial subject. While we're going on about naivety and strength, they are two other attitudes that are linked to evil and innocence. They are a long list of common labels and prospects used to characterize the two objects. Often, another classifying aspect includes the symbolism of identification such as colors"
Natasha remained in the middle spot being circled around by Loki. She was recuperating her calm image and listened to Loki's detailed assertion.
"Innocence is often incorporated as the colour of white and what is left of evil? None other than the assortment of sinister colours especially black but it is an excuse of defining differences when they are none but the same"
Loki had stopped at Natasha's right side before swiftly moving towards her to snatch the bed sheet covering her. It set off panic in Natasha yet to her surprise; a black, slim dress was still serving as an appropriate garment which she thought had magically been able to appear.
He threw the sheet to the side and continued his soliloquy "I despise dark colours. They express such apathy and especially with the colour of black: oblivion. It doesn't have or articulate any significant specialty or attention"
"You're the one to speak. Don't you wear it quite often with your uniform?" Natasha seemed to have gained more courage and confidence to talk to him.
Loki had briefly stopped moving again staying put in front of Natasha. He sneered "But this isn't essentially about style or couture Miss Romanoff. It is more than that but as you brought it up; I would return the same to you"
Natasha had gotten confident too soon as it altered back to insecurity. She gulped nervously at Loki being as violating as the last time they met. He began scanning her figure up and down which felt to be in a provocative and oppressive manner.
He soon enough looked back up. "You're not at all like them"
The two of them kept intent eye contact and remained soundless. Loki maintained his special address towards Natasha. "You aren't like any other woman that I know of. You are not foolish or obnoxiously vivacious. You're quite independent, resilient, can handle difficult situations without pitiful assistance and you rarely involve company or proper relation to a man. That makes me rather curious"
She still had the strong urge to correct her position "Just because I'm one thing currently doesn't mean I'm not some other. You don't need to keep singling me out like I am decently different from everything else. I'm just the same. About other guys, I do work with them but I don't work for them.
Loki shook his head. "There it strikes again. That is one thing I dislike about you. You're ungrateful. All I'm doing is paying a genuine compliment and what do I receive in return? An insincere comment or dismissal. About the company of men and you: of course you work with them and your clarification of rightfulness in relevance to them is questionable but the ideal meaning I'm referring to is your…romantic association or involvement with them. It seems that sort of business occurs rarely. Actually, one example of exclusion is none other than Barton"
Natasha became dismayed again with the new mention of Clint. It was never brought up until now. She only realized that she had selfishly forgotten about Agent Barton due to the bombardment of Loki. Clint may not have necessarily left her mind but he was moved down in priority list due to Natasha's stupidly directed attention towards Loki.
Loki could see Natasha acting in sudden distraught. "He told me everything. I made him tell me everything and of course, I got my way and achieved in gaining significant information"
"What did he tell you? Just things about himself or…me?" Natasha gulped as she knew this was heading in an invading direction of privacy yet again.
"Like I said, he informed on everything. Particular things that grabbed my attention were events like Sao Paulo, the hospital fire or Budapest especially. My word, it was such a marvelous recount of those events and your past. Consider me envious of such occurrences" Loki couldn't wipe the malicious grin that was spread on his face. "I now completely understand your unique attachment and history with Barton. It all makes sense and of your debt –"
"That's not fair" Natasha had to interrupt as she couldn't bear this discussion about Clint. "It's not fair how you're using and torturing him just to get to me"
"Who said I was torturing him? With Barton under my control, all I needed to do was primarily snap my fingers and he obeyed. There was no need of torture as he was incredibly weak or overruled by my order. It's very much the reverse role of strength with both of you. I'm quite surprised that you are much hostile and stronger than him due to his feeble form of mind –"
"Don't say that about him!" Natasha was basically getting offended now by Loki and his backhanded accolades towards her.
Loki's face had succumbed to a scowl at Natasha's bitter change in attitude "You must stop this frustrating habit of yours. You should be thankful for the very fact from the beginning that I didn't inflict harm and spared you instead through my special interest towards you. If you are concerned so much about Barton, don't make things worse for him in consequence of your livid reactions. Learn to be appreciative"
Natasha decided to compose herself from snapping at Loki. She was taking into account that her actions could affect Clint's treatment. She casted a puzzled expression. "You're… interested in me?"
Loki smirked "Maybe much more than permitted. Like I said, it's a lingering wish for us to want to see each other for more meetings. I'm not afraid to interact with you but I can see your hesitance and caution due to your typical mortal approach of thinking. You define opposites such as the most common one of good and bad or innocence and evil but the way I perceive it is that they are merely the same. Simply sentimental judgments or words if you wanted to broaden it further. Others know you are not evil Natasha but you're not innocent either. As you said yourself, just because you are one particular thing doesn't mean you aren't or never will be the many others. Nobody or nothing is one definite singular thing. We are several the same"
Loki's elaborate speech was actually making Natasha contemplate even though it seemed like stalling nonsense but Loki was in fact expressing a fervent truth of his. It had so far been a very occupying discussion which verged onto many topics. The next one was by far a distinct and entailing topic.
"It's simply how I think and in actual fact, the same justification can apply to us. You and I are so similar. It proves of reason as well why I'm interested in you and plus, you've implemented part of my same attitude without even knowing. Great minds think alike. Either way, we are so comparable that we could become a single individual together. It's a contradictive statement but it is the truth. You and I could join together and we would form easily as one. It may be difficult to understand but think of it on the terms of…soulmates yet not to that entire extent"
"I don't believe in that stuff. Let alone about love" Natasha announced.
"Neither do I but I do have to inquiry, what was your doing with Barton then? If it wasn't love, what was it? Deception? A desperate and needy call for attention? Lust?"
She wanted to deny everything so much as it was coming into light now that she and Loki were indeed similar. With Clint being brought into the conversation, she despised having to talk with Loki as he was chiefly unraveling so many things for her. Loki was her problematical personal demon and even though they had seen each other 2 times, it seemed that he knew her inside out.
Natasha wanted to move out of the dispute involving Clint and went back to the first topic beforehand. She scoffed. Whichever way Loki meant about the two of them joining together, it was the last thing she wanted or thought possible. "I don't believe either about this whole…joining together or collaboration business. In your wildest fantasies. I would say no and never to that in a snap faster than you can disappear"
Loki had paused in front of her again. He had yet to reveal such a shocking part of the dream. "But that's it. It's too late to decree that as you've already committed such a thing" It rung through her head until the dream progressed to show a frightful flashback and act occurring.
The two of them were so close together. It was quite brutally physical however both of them didn't stop. Natasha saw the sight of her and Loki performing in such intimate unison and correlation. It was an ultimate violent reaction of the contact of their bare skin against each other. There was no rightful thinking occurring especially on Natasha's behalf as she gave in to the corporal yearn for Loki. It was an enthralling sensation that Natasha felt being under Loki and his control. There were short gasps and grunts that were released from the demanding motion being shared amid the two of them. The junction of contact between Loki and Natasha wasn't broken especially at their lips and bare bodies under the sheets.
Loki only partially broke the fierce connection of their lips. They were able to briefly inhale proper oxygen and rest for a moment. Their lips were bruised from the rough smears of kisses and were burning from heavily infused heat. It was the same for their torsos as they had grown sore to the nonstop tempo of motion. Natasha had jerked and squirmed at times underneath Loki due to stabs of pinnacle sensations. Along with that, she impulsively grazed her nails across his back or gripped his hair for release from the unbearable heated upsurge.
When it seemed that Loki had recovered his breath, he muttered lowly towards her ear which made Natasha only clasp much tightly on Loki. "Give up…now" She moaned again and jerked underneath him. "You need to say it now or this fight will continue. Surrender" He hissed once more before properly looking at Natasha. The sheen of sweat over his forehead was visible. Natasha's face was completely warm and much more covered with sweat in comparison to Loki. He gave one last stare at her. "Nothing?" Natasha was completely ridden of senses and didn't react. All she did was look at Loki with a blank stare and heavy breathing. "If you insist then" Loki descended back towards Natasha and kissed her again recommencing everything.
She whimpered slightly as the motion revived between her and Loki which was starting to turn into pain for her. It wasn't known of whether the intercourse began on even involvement or if Loki was using Natasha in this way of torture. It was an unbelievably despicable act.
The flashes of her and Loki were completely traumatizing and it was overwhelming her mind badly. Suddenly, Loki shattered through those short recollections and tackled Natasha to the wall of the previous setting of the two of them in the room. Her back slammed against the wall and Loki kept tight hold as he began physically smothering her the same way he was in those proclaimed memories. She was going to get her answer of how that flashback started.
Natasha tried to push him off but it was difficult. He had a tight grasp and force against her to the wall while he was delighting off her neck with his mouth pressing against it. Natasha writhed under his hold. Loki slammed the wall with his fisted hand. "Don't fight it" The derision reminded her of his second visit in her room which meant this was going to get much more obscure and provoking for her. Loki had also lifted his head staring into Natasha's eyes in a demeaning manner. She recommenced quivering and breathing rapidly due to the daunting turn of events that was being played out.
Instead of returning to the same spot, Loki made more physical connection with Natasha by crashing his lips against hers in a harsh kiss. Natasha couldn't move under the force and let him take ultimate advantage and control but that was something of Natasha's main attention. She had to look past the condescending trauma and resent towards him with this situation and manipulate it to her upper hand. It was how she worked no matter what.
She finally broke through the haze and had to admit that Loki was providing a passionate and heated experience for her. Natasha felt the scowl on her face relax into a neutral expression. She began to focus on the moment and sense being received from Loki. His right hand was applying heavy pressure and pull on her hip to the bone while his other hand was placed against the wall trapping her in the confined space they shared. His torso was pressed against hers radiating heat. It was a surprise that his chapped lips still infused heat as well on Natasha's.
Before she knew it, Natasha had decided to get involved with as much force equal to Loki. Her hand had moved to his hair and latched onto it as her other arm had wrapped around his neck. It was for support as Loki in ardent response had lifted her up against the wall holding below her thigh slipping towards her knees. She retained a strong hold on him to avoid slipping and she only knew that it was time to fight fire with fire.
The pressure of the contact between their mouths had eased and gradually into a slower tempo as it was a pleasurable exchange that the two of them shared. It wasn't anticipated by Natasha that Loki would be a good kisser as his mouth was mainly a conveyor of harsh or haughty remarks and not of bodily intimate function. It was then sudden urge for the two of them to head to the next step.
Loki's hand crept towards Natasha's neck before pulling down the zipper of her dress revealing her bare back. She returned the same action following his by pulling his black jacket and tie off and starting on the buttons of his shirt. Yet, their lips kept connected. Her dress was pulled off and thrown to the side along with Loki's jacket. His shirt was ripped opened exposing his slim but sculpted torso which Natasha couldn't help but run her hand across. The force and attraction was compelling for the two of them to progress faster and dominate over each other with this confrontational act.
Natasha wrapped and locked her legs around Loki. He supported her by holding her back while he begun moving backwards in the direction of the bed. They soon fell back and Natasha felt some power of being on top of Loki but it was a physical war of authority between the two of them. Loki changed position though having Natasha shift to the bottom which made everything play out according to the earlier flashback.
"I will not stop till we have become one being. One individual because I know deep down inside that you know it's capable. All that is needed is the actually process and obligation" His menacing threats and mention of his plan reverberated in Natasha's head while the vicious process of sensory touch remained between her and Loki . "It'll be the last thing you ever do or even that I will ever do as we would form to become each other… to form one. This is the ultimate way it will end my dear" Natasha kept making such short breathes from the sensation that was running deep through her body.
It was soon to hitting the maximum culmination of the dream as Natasha's vision was experiencing darkness which could only mean the end. The last thing she could see was as she looked towards her shoulder; the locks of her hair felt straighter or longer and had fallen on her shoulders. What completely alarmed her was it had completely changed. Especially even though she thought her eyes were deceiving her, it was the colour of black. Her eyes suddenly felt a weird transformation which meant she had to close them. It was making her heart race faster as strange things were happening without her control. She thought she could see in the darkness of her closed eyes was a spark of emerald green.
No. Her eyes were changing to the colour of green. This was what Loki meant. Of becoming one. Her appearance was altering to his. She could bear to open her eyes again and thankfully, it seemed that her hair and eyes were the only ones that changed as her facial features felt the same. Loki had lifted his head staring down at Natasha holding her down by her arms. "Do you not believe me now?" Loki evilly grinned again while panting. She couldn't react again as she felt frozen. Especially her right arm began to feel frigid upon the tense hold of his left hand. Her eyes had caught sight of his left arm which was vaguely glowing with blue pulses. "Surrender now Natasha or this will be a condemned fate for you" He yet again locked lips with her which made Natasha feel at that moment to accept helplessness and inability with this situation.
As everything in the dream was entering a miasma of deafening silence and blurred sights, the only recognizable object in that slow disappearance of everything was the sound of a heartbeat. It changed into two as there was a distinct identifiable sound of one racing slightly faster than the other. Two heartbeats thumping at slight different pulses. Yet, there was an enveloping action of the two pulses mixing together which resulted in a combination of uneven pounding. Although, as the environment and atmosphere was fading away, there was a faint sound of one steady heartbeat: the outcome of the two heartbeats uniting into one.
She woke up heavily gasping and sweating at such an intricate dream (or more nightmare) being formed beyond her wildest considerations. Natasha stumbled as she tried to get up and head to the bathroom. She slammed the door open and leaned against the door frame while retrieving her breath and correct mindset. That dream was too real. The dream was too horrific especially with the thought of Loki entering her dream.
Natasha held onto the sink basin looking down and was quite cautious and frightened to look up in the mirror. Gained from that dream; he could either appear right behind her again as he had materialized randomly during their second meeting or even worse which was an ultimate repetitive notion in that dream was that she would see him instead of herself looking back.
She splashed water on her face to try and refresh herself from such a frightful dream. Natasha was so exposed in that dream especially to Loki. Was it now possible for him to enter dreams especially hers? Who knew? Anything was possible. Natasha splashed water once more on her heated face until finally turning off the tap. She reluctantly began to look upwards at the mirror and was relieved to only see herself but with the emergent worrying sight of her arm. She was wearing a simple top revealing her right arm which had developed into a disturbing sight: the veins up to a particular point below her shoulder were darkening her skin with the awful and abnormal exposure. It was inevitably obvious what it was.
Natasha spun around and leaned against the sink as water droplets fell down her face and even her neck to beneath her top. She even thought she heard an extinguishing hiss as her body temperature had risen from that devilish dream. "Dammit" She muttered repeatedly to herself. Was this how it was going to be now? Natasha losing absolute grip and control of everything just to a complicated and iniquitous man such as Loki? She didn't like that idea that Loki was going to have a disdaining upper hand over her. Also, was it true of his possible disclosed objective towards her? It was hard to believe anything in that dream.
Story note:
Basically while writing this whole segment, I kept thinking "INCEPTION" which made me laugh. Anyway, on the serious side, this whole chapter involved this analysis that I read about Natasha at how she is so tricking and manipulative and proves her worth as a character. She uses gender stereotypes in a smart way of implication especially in the movie so I added that part in and what Loki is speaking about is building up to a specific notion that he genuinely believes (Or I have written to make him in the story believe. Excuse me if it sounds like he is rambling which I think sometimes he does when I'm writing but anyway). And I hope I didn't overdo it with the dirty business going on in those dreams. I felt like something like that had to happen or be established but it technically wasn't real (Or was it?). Anyway, thank you for being patient for this chapter and to read the whole long thing. Don't forget about reviews and feedback please. Thanks again!