I've been having a lot of delays in uploading chapters but I'll get to it soon when high school returns to a normal pace.
:D I hope all of you will stick with this story~
(Tsuna the Secretary's Statement/POV: Very Fishy Reception)
Eh? I have to make a statement?
But I don't know if I'll be of any help!
What if I manage to mess up a detail that'll solve the case?
Hiiiiiie!
Well, I guess I should start with my basic job description.
As the secretary, I organize all his files and shi- toy making notes, and I pass along messages to other staff members when he's busy.
I also happen to intercept any guests that request to meet him.
Sometimes, I happen to organize all the gifts he recieves from other company bosses.
You know, just the other day Xanxus from the Varia Security Corps had the NERVE to send 20 shipments of TUNA FISH.
For the next week or so, it was Tuna Salad, Tuna Broth, Tuna Tuna, Tuna Steak, TOO MUCH DAMN TUNA!
I think I'm turning into one...
The morning before he was killed, Another stranger was launched out of the third story window.
I noted that he landed in the prized roses that took the gardener forever to raise.
Then, I noted that the stranger was launched once more, this time over the mansion.
Returning to my desk, I looked through all of the documents that were sent to Mr. Treland today.
I began sorting them into the dump pile and the keep pile.
The dump pile included: An idea for a doll that could shoot mayonnaise out of its finger tips, a request for a robot that could eat children, and a wine peeing dog toy.
The keep pile included: A letter from his mother, a letter from his distant cousin, and a thank you letter from Xanxus for the wine candies.
I'm still wondering about the mayo shooting doll...
Later on in the day, I saw Mukuro running around the mansion like crazy!
It was as if all of hell was after his winged pineapple boxers, and don't ask about how I know what they look like.
It was just that ONE time we both got drunk and we did something we both regretted.
We both woke up sore, covered with sweat, and half naked together.
It...
Was...
Terrible...
Beyond...
Belief...
We had a contest to see who could withstand being in a 35 degrees celsius room surrounded by lit stoves, while being slapped with a Shonen Jump issue.
Those things can slap hard, yah know! I don't know what you guys may be thinking about the whole idea, but it was a bet that earned me quite a few snacks.
If anyone wonders why I wasn't seen around the mansion for the rest of the day, well...
I'm not supposed to tell you this, since its a secret that all the employees know, minus the late Master Treland.
On one of the floors, of which I'm not going to specify, there is a barely noticeable inconsistency in one of the walls.
But once you do notice, go to the drawer on the left, and pull the drawers out in this order:
Up down up down middle middle down middle up.
The mirror should turn, revealing a button.
If you push the button, the inconsistency in the wall slides away and reveals...
NA NA NA NA NA NA NA NA A BAT CAVE!
Not really, but it is our private pharmacy.
We have all sorts of remedies, ranging from minor things from Advil to major things like Oxycontin or Vicodin.
It doesn't just act as our drug store though, we also store some things we aren't supposed to have.
Mukuro, for instance, keeps a huge box of... Plants that are certaintly less than legal.
Well, I keep something thats definitely legal, but I'd rather not reveal it.
"Look, you have to give us ALL the details!"
"But but but but but but its..."
"Look, I don't care how many buts you have, you have to tell us"
"I'll have as many buts as I want! I still won't tell you."
"Look, you either tell us or we lock you up in a cell."
"FIIIIINE!"
Well, to tell you the truth...
I...
Am addicted to pocky.
Thats normal, but my addiction goes beyong any addiction in existence.
While others use their sick days to recover from being sick, I use it to purchase and consume inummerable amounts of pocky.
The people at a pocky factory know (fear) me so well, I get as much free pocky as I want!
I even get the ones in the beta stages.
Curry tasted rather off, but I still enjoyed it. And let me tell you, Fried Wasabi pocky packs quite a delicious punch!
Pocky is pocky, and ANYONE who touches my stash will be hunted and destroyed.
Don't assume I won't know, I WILL know, and don't expect to sleep at night until I locate you.
But as to who the culprit might be, I have no idea.
"Come on, we need to know what you know!"
"But I don't know anything beyond what I mentioned!"
"Well don't you want whats in my hands right now?"
"Is that... -gasp- Dear god!"
"Its pocky, don't you want it?"
"Pocky..."
"Hello? Mr. Sawada?"
"I want... Pocky."
"Yo, Sawada, you okay?"
"PO PO PO POCKEEEEEEEEY!"
"HEY, HE'S GOING CRAZY!"
"SOMEONE STOP HIM!"
-Recording Ends-
Investigation Results: Inconclusive
Further Notes: Bribery is a bad idea.
(Apparently, the secretary still has something to say. Should we let him, boss?
Why not... Owww... My head...
This guy is a monster.
Lets not even start on that, Romario.)
Sho harumph snarff crunch glurp (So I forgot to tell you guys)
Crunch Crunch Chomp (That I don't recall)
Pocky Cream snarflargle (Treland ever drinking wine)
BUUUUUUUUUUUUUURP! (He had a no drinking rule, as an experience with certain miscreants caused him to have an extreme distaste for any form of alcoholic drink, and only kept alcohol for the guests and Xanxus. He'd much rather reconoiter with a crack-high walrus than drink.)
Hey, I'm actually still alive! High school is a lame excuse, but I'm glad I updated. Even though this failed quite so.
As always, review and guess.
I wish a thousand dysenteries upon ALL of your enemies.
Ciao~
AND I AM WELL AWARE IT HAS BEEN FOREVER!
I will get to everything one day.