It turns out that Tino was not an escaped violent convict. Berwald had learned via an in-depth internet search that Tino Väinämöinen had actually once been the host of a show called "Wonderful Wildlife Weekly". It'd been a pretty successful program, but it was canceled when the CEO of a large vodka manufacturer named Ivan Braginsky bought most of the station's shares and replaced Wonderful Wildlife Weekly with a show about sunflowers. Apparently Tino didn't handle his show canceling very well, and was soon admitted to a mental health hospital with a case of extreme delusional disorder.
Alright, Berwald now understood why the poor little guy was running around and acting like he was in front of a camera, but that still didn't explain why Tino was here at Berwald's completely isolated cabin of all places. That part of the puzzle still needed filling in.
Guess on some level I got t' admire him. A lot of people would just give up on life and resort t' drug use and hookers. Least this guy is still determined t' do his job, even if he can't bring himself t' face reality yet. Berwald shut off his computer and walked back over to the window, scanning the lawn for Tino. Where was that man?
"Yah, I think we're..." there Tino was, standing on the far corner of the lawn and sort of swaying on his feet "Ready for a commercial break now..." Then he collapsed into an exhausted heap on the grass.
Uh oh. Berwald undid the lock on the front door and went running over to the small fragile form sprawled across the ground. He was more relieved than he thought he'd be when he found that the cute little basketcase had a pulse and was breathing normally. Now that Berwald got to see him up close, he noticed that the man was covered in cuts and scratches.
Nh, probably from falling in the bushes out of fright every time he catches a glance of m' "fearsome predator" face. Berwald chuckled internally as he lifted Tino off the ground and carried him to the front porch. Yah, 'm prettyterrifying the way I peacefully live in m' cabin and build furniture all day.
He gently set Tino down on the front porch swing and went inside to fetch his first aid kit. If Berwald lived alone he would've just taken Tino inside, the gamble with his own life he was willing to take. But he still wasn't sure enough about this guy to let him anywhere near Snowball. That dog was seriously the philosophical and emotional equivalent of a grandchild to Berwald. Even though he was mostly convinced that Tino wasn't the violent kind of insane, he couldn't bring himself to take that risk with Snowball's safety.
He began cleaning out the cuts and scrapes on Tino's arms and face with a hydrogen peroxide soaked cotton ball. The small fellow flinched a bit, but remained asleep.
Poor tired guy. Berwald finished putting bandages on the worst of the man's wounds and started pulling out the twigs and leaves that'd gotten themselves tangled up in Tino's silky hair.
Whoops, bad choice. Apparently Tinolus väinämöis could trap his victim's fingers with the smooth softness of his fair-colored locks. Moments later Berwald found himself unable to stop combing his hand through Tino's lovely blonde hair or remove his gaze from that adorable round-cheeked face.
Dangit, yer really cute and sweet-looking. Nh, nope. 'm not falling for it. Yer adorableness doesn't affect me-
Berwald froze as the smaller man stirred in his sleep. Tino smiled and rubbed his head against Berwald's hand like a cat before curling back up into the far end of the front porch swing.
The sound of his own heart pounding echoed through Berwald's brain as he sat paralyzed for a few moments. Then he shook his head and drew his hand back. 'lright, it might affect m' a little bit, but not enough for m' t' be tricked into trusting ya.
Still though, Berwald couldn't help but be concerned about him. He went back to his cabin and got out a picnic blanket, which he carried over to the corner of the yard where he'd seen Tino collapse a minute before. He spread the blanket out on the ground, laid Tino down on the blanket and then went back to his cabin.
He emerged from the cabin a couple minutes later with a canteen of water and a paper bag containing a loaf of rye bread. The little guy needed some nourishment in order to avoid passing out again. Berwald set these items next to the sleeping Tino with a note tacked to them that read
"Take care of yourself. -Your Production Team"
There, now he won't worry that it's part of m' "fearsome predator plan" t' eat his brains. Berwald had the smallest of smiles on his face as he gave the cute but confusing Tinolus väinämöis a soft pat on the head before retreating back into his home.