Chapter 4: Something good and funny to help me go back to sleep…
…Darcy wakes to the sound of raindrops. She needs something good and funny to help her get back to sleep...
The next time Darcy fully woke, it was the middle of the night, about an hour after the most inconvenient vitals check, the one that caused her to snark sleepily at the nurse. She heard rain drops beginning to fall outside in the dark. Somewhere nearby there was an awning, she guessed. The sound as the water hit the fabric set her teeth on edge.
She sat up in the bed, pulling the blanket to her chest and clinging to it tightly. She wished she could call out to her Mamaw for a hug, to help her past the nightmarish memories. She reached out to the night stand and grabbed the glasses that had been provided for her, brushing against a water pitcher there, and pulling back from it as though shocked. Watching the droplets run down the smooth, dark glass was mesmerizing.
Intellectually, she felt controlled and knew she was safe (Avengers Tower! Duh!); but her heart was pounding quickly. Panic was trying to grab hold. Flashes of her interrogation were pressing in on her. She turned on a light and sat straight up. If it only helped her see the water droplets less clearly, that was good.
For a long time, she sat there, holding back tears and staring at the window. She glanced at the nurse call button, but shook her head. She needed to deal, not get drugs. She glanced at the damned water pitcher again, remembered, and shifted away from it.
She startled and squeaked, "Damn it!" when there was a light knock at her door. After a pause, it was repeated. She took a shaky breath and called, "come in?"
When she saw Steve Rogers at the door, she sat back with a gasp of relief, "Oh! Captain? Hi! What are you doing here?" She hoped she didn't sound unwelcoming as she blurted the words. She was struck again by just how handsome he was. She felt a tentative smile come to her face at the sight of him.
He hesitated, and she thought she saw a flicker of something sort of sad in his expression, "please… call me Steve." Then he looked sheepish and grinned very slightly, "well… I don't sleep all that much… and I asked JARVIS if you were sleeping… after I heard the rain start…" He shifted back and forth, looking uncomfortable.
Her surprised smile warmed him. "You wanted to make sure it didn't scare me too much?" Her breathing was still rapid. She made an effort to calm herself further, AND not to show how absurdly pleased she was by his consideration. Her inner fan-girl was doing quite the dance, so she doubted she looked at all nonchalant.
He nodded, still shifting from one foot to the other. He was pleased to see her hands relax their grip on the blanket. And her smile… warmed and charmed him.
She exclaimed, "Sweet! Well, come on in, Steve. I was kind of spooked, so it'll be nice to have someone to talk to." She noticed lit icons on her replacement phone, "Hm. Excuse me for a sec..." Steve sat on the edge of the chair next to her bed. She deleted two messages from Ian, scanned an interesting note from Jane about things that had been discussed between the others and Steve earlier, and noticed that she had a heartbreaking message from Erik, all shamey/guilty stuff. She sighed.
Steve asked, "important messages?"
She set the phone down and shook her head. "I'll get back to Erik in the morning. I really need to see him in person, and give him hugs and stuff. He's blaming himself for those baddies in London."
Steve nodded, "I understand how that feels."
She raised a brow, "you really buy into that? You think that missing some of the thousands of Nazi-esque two-head goons is your bad?" Steve blinked and stared at her. Darcy kept pushing, "don't just sit there… Tell me how you could have single-handedly rounded up all of them." She made a 'dude, get real' face at him.
He grimaced, and held up his hands in surrender, "Okay. Okay! I get it. But I have a lot of reason to hate them…"
She nodded, "the thing about how they played a part in taking you away from your life?"
He nodded, leaned his elbows on his thighs, and shared, "and what they did to my friend… and…the terrible things they do to other good people…" He looked back up at her, and the intensity of his gaze caused her to blush. She tried to tamp down her excitement over his seeming interest. She thought that surely she was imagining or misunderstanding it…
She sighed, "I just got the Spark Notes on your friend Bucky when I scanned Jane's message." He looked puzzled, and she chuckled, "enough of a summary that I have a vague idea what you're talking about!" He pulled out a little notebook and wrote 'Spark Notes' on a list. She saw and offered, "an older version was Cliffs Notes. No apostrophe." He nodded thanks and made the addition.
She laid her head back again, her breath easing finally, "so, Steve, have you seen and heard enough of me yet to realize that the glamour pic you saw of me is the only glamorous thing about me?" She chuckled wryly, shaking her head.
He looked at her fixedly, "I think I see you pretty clearly."
She gulped and blushed deeply, "but… I cuss, and have bed head…" She glanced at the window, "and I'm kinda freakin' out from stupid stuff like rain and…" she pointed an accusing finger at the water pitcher and snarled, "that water pitcher!"
He looked startled, grabbed the pitcher, and walked out of the room. She laughed. When he returned a few minutes later, he had a sport bottle with fresh ice water. He set it down with a thump. "Better?"
She smiled softly, "Yeah." In a lilting tone, she praised, "my hero."
He smiled crookedly, "at least I defeated the water pitcher." She noticed he had a Brooklyn accent. It was cute.
She nodded and made a noise of realization, "Ooooh! You think you're falsely credited with bringing down… Hydra. Your accomplishment feels like hollow." It was hard for her to say the word 'Hydra', though easier with Steve by her side. She gave into the urge to imagine Steve pulverizing 'Hail-Hydra' guy and grinned grimly.
Steve shrugged, "more than hollow. Obviously, I didn't defeat Hydra."
She made a face and nodded once. "Yet! Aren't you gonna defeat them now?"
He looked at her with a real smile now, with an edge of danger that gave her a pleasurable shiver. "Yes, ma'am! I'm not gonna stop 'til all of Hydra is dead or captured." He looked down, shook his head as though touching on a distant memory, took a breath and noted, "you say that I don't really know you." He swallowed hard, and then asked, "will you give me a chance to? After you're feeling better… and I find Bucky?" He frowned slightly.
She nodded and responded with a breathy, "gods, yes." She winced and amended, "I mean, that sounds nice…" His grin widened. She blushed and blurted, "Damn. Of course I'd like to get to know you! I just don't want to disappoint you." She shrugged, "I'm nothing super or special, just me- Darcy Lewis- student, and sort of science intern."
With a pleased smile, he asserted, "you're more than you realize, I think." He looked at her nervously, as though his next question was one he'd not asked much before, "may I get your number?"
She nodded and reached out a hand, "let me see your phone." He handed her the latest StarkPhone and she admired it. "Wow. That's sick! I've never seen one like this up close before." She added her contact info to his phone, and sent his info to hers. She grinned. "Look out! Now I can bombard you with cute kitten memes and… ooh! I can share playlists with you!"
He smiled. "That sounds nice. Usually all I get are reports, and notifications of dire emergencies."
She made a mischievous face. "I'll fix that."
He grinned. "Is that how people get to know each other now? They share 'kitten memes' and playlists?"
She struggled not to laugh. "You say that like you've never seen a kitten meme!"
He made a face. "I've learned, the hard way, not to look at any image file Tony sends, unless JARVIS clears it first."
She giggled and shook her head. "Yuck. I bet! I meant baby felines, for the record. Thor likes them. That big old softy likes ANY baby animal picture. But, yeah, you stay importantly busy. I'll try not to go crazy with silly stuff, just keep it real and share things I really like. I bet people have pestered you left and right telling you things to experience, to catch up on the years. I'd love to know which of those you've really felt, really liked. I don't want to wait for you to search to the ends of the Earth before I get to know you, though. I want to get to know you now, before you change your mind about me… and fall in love with someone perfect like Jane."
She blushed a bit as she realized she'd babbled the words 'fall in love' out loud to him. She took it as a good sign that he didn't run from the room making excuses of needing to be somewhere else suddenly (at 3:00 am, no less).
He did a double-take. "Dr. Foster?" She nodded firmly. He frowned, "do you think she's perfect?"
Darcy giggled again, and then laughed so that tears came into her eyes. It felt GOOD. She finally answered, "Sorry. No! No. She's not perfect. She just looks it!" She continued laughing until a cough interrupted. He smiled, enjoying her laughter.
Then he shook his head. "She doesn't look perfect to me." He looked abashed, "I mean… No insult intended…"
She made a sound of exasperation, "ask around. You'll find that perfect looks a lot like Jane- and quirky, awkward, and 'potentially loose' looks like me."
He looked at her strangely, "loose?"
She shrugged with faux nonchalance. "Listen... I get it. I'm busty. I usually try to dress to hide 'the girls,'" she gestured to her chest and nodded, "but they won't be denied!"
Steve shook his head, blushing at both her reference to her breasts, and as he thought of the way she'd looked in the glamour picture. He asked, "do you think I believe you're 'loose' because of that picture?" He looked pained.
She huffed, "Dude! Look up the evolution of pin-ups! I had to get really buzzed to dare to have that glamour pic made- I was doing a favor for my artist friend who was recreating something. I thought maybe it'd make me feel better about myself someday when I'm a lonely, old, wrinkled cat-lady." Her voice dropped and she blushed, "I thought for once, I'd try to pretend I was totally the pretty one."
He started to say something, but she continued. She sighed, and looked away from him. "Anyway, guys get ideas. Even with the bruises, I guess I should be kind of insulted that Tony Stark didn't hit on me, given his reputation." She looked miffed and Steve looked perplexed.
He asked slowly, "would you want for Tony to 'hit on' you?"
She shook her head vehemently, "gods, no! He's old enough to be my dad…" Steve's brows went up. "And, sorry, I know he's kind of your friend and all, but... he's a real man-whore!"
Steve laughed out loud at that. "He's actually settled down to one woman now, Pepper Potts. I imagine you'll meet her soon. She's… classy." He sighed, "I'm just glad you don't have a crush on Tony."
She shook her head again, "No, thanks." She smiled slightly, as she processed his relief over her lack of interest in Tony Stark.
Steve smiled hesitantly, frowned and confessed, "I'm old enough to be your grandfather. Tony's dad and I were friends during the war."
She looked at him fixedly, "I listened in History class. I know you were born like the same time as Edward Cullen, but I don't think time frozen should count against you. You didn't get to do much living all that time, did you? You don't look like you aged at all. You look really good." She blushed again, wondering just how much one person could blush without irreparable harm.
He shook his head, made a face and asked, "Edward Cullen?"
She smirked, "sparkly vampire, dude, 'Twilight' books and movies… don't bother unless you want a laugh. The CGI baby in the last movie is creep-tastically hilarious."
He nodded recognition of the word 'Twilight' and raised a brow, "I can always use a laugh." She smiled a bit more at him and he smiled back. Then his look turned serious. "I wasn't saying you looked 'loose' in that picture." She eyed him skeptically. He blushed, "you looked… beautiful… curvy like a real woman, confident, sassy… worth fighting for, as we used to say." The heat in his gaze made her blush, too.
The rain fell harder, splashing at the window noisily, and she gasped and grabbed his hand. He stretched his arm out so that his hand was next to her on the bed, and she could lie back again, still clutching it. He looked at their joined hands, liking the sight.
He continued, "I'm really sorry if you thought I was making assumptions like that. It was more like... you looked like everything I fight for, like…. home… the good in life."
She smiled sleepily and squeezed his hand, "Okay. I forgive you. That sounds nice." Her smile faded, "but I'm just a girl…"
He smiled and shrugged, "I like girls." He savored the feeling of her small hand grasping his larger one.
She grinned and chuckled, "good to know! The tight-shirt look raises some questions."
He looked taken aback and replied, "Um. Good to know. I don't want to send the wrong signals. I barely know how to manage the right signals." He sighed, "it all came so naturally to Bucky, my buddy. He was everything I wanted to be when we were kids. When we grew up, he could sweet talk the dames all day and night!" He shrugged, "after the serum, and after I got people to take me seriously… well, I was too busy to even look for signals much."
She laughed, shook her head and asked, "for real? Or were there just so many unwanted signals that you shut them all down?" He raised his brows. She continued, "do you ever get tired of people ogling your body?" She nodded as she added, "with a body like that, you don't have to just manage signals. You have to put out fires!"
He blushed slightly, an awkward grin on his face, and asked, "this body?" She nodded, looking at him oddly. He continued, "I guess I do, sometimes. The first few months I had it, I was on a USO tour, selling war bonds, with the girls dancing and singing all around me… I kind of liked the attention that brought… at first."
She smirked wryly and asked, "how old were you? Early twenties?" He nodded slowly. She continued, "and newly equipped with THAT body… on the road with a troupe of dancers?" He looked embarrassed, not meeting her eyes. She grinned, "well, we've gotten past the awkward question of your 'first time' with a girl, then, haven't we?"
He cleared his throat and replied stiffly, "I'd rather not discuss…" She cut him off with a kind laugh.
She consoled him, "Awww! Cute! Okay, Mr. 'I don't kiss and tell,' I get it. That's cool. I'm sorry I made you uncomfortable. I do that to people sometimes." She bit her lip, and looked suddenly serious. She looked away from him as though debating something, and then leaned closer and murmured, "how about I trade you a little-known secret?" He nodded, and leaned forward slightly. She took a breath and shared, "I haven't done it yet. Ya know… all the way sex."
He blinked, sitting very still and feeling as though he'd been hit hard in the head. From discussions and interactions he overheard, he'd begun to assume that every person he met now had an active, and maybe exotic, sex life. He'd assumed 'nice girls' were a distant memory to those in the 21st century.
Darcy looked both fragile and belligerent as she grumbled, "I get all these cat calls during warm weather, when I can't hide under sweaters and scarves, and I haven't even done it! I necked some with a boy in middle school, and the lie got out that we'd done the deed and my rep was done for, courtesy of his ego and the size of my boobs." She nodded to the phone, "a couple of messages that I deleted are from a guy who got pissed because I kept saying no to sleeping with him. He got to be such a pain about it, I told him to go fuck himself and dumped him." She shook her head. "No one around here would believe it, especially after seeing that picture! Ever since I got boobs, people have treated me like a tramp." She made a pouting face. Then she half-grinned and shrugged as though to dismiss the hurt he heard in her voice.
He lifted her hand, and kissed it tenderly, trying to convey both admiration and comfort. She stopped babbling, looked at him with wide eyes, and then dropped her gaze.
He frowned deeply, then and let out a shaky breath, "you must have been frightened when they threatened…"
She bit her lip, and spoke softly, "I was pretty sure I was gonna… die badly… and that was even scarier, but, yeah, I thought that would be an epically bad first time." He kissed her hand again, and then carefully tightened his grip as he noted her slight tremors. Her shaking became more pronounced as her façade broke, and she let out a tremulous breath. She looked down, avoiding his gaze while she fought to regain her equilibrium. When she finally met his eyes again, her smile looked fragile. She whispered, "I was really scared." He tensed, like he wanted to say or do something, but wasn't quite sure what.
His voice was thick as he sighed, "I'm really glad Hawkeye got you out of there." He stroked her hand and looked at her with that disconcertingly direct gaze again. "You're safe. I… We won't let anything happen to you."
She grinned slightly, let her eyes drift shut and then opened them again, sighed tiredly, and requested, "tell me stories about you and your buddy when you were kids. Let me listen to something good and funny to help me go back to sleep." The way she threaded her fingers through his made him smile.
So, he talked about Bucky and their childhood together, the trouble they'd gotten into, stupid things he'd done, the fights Bucky had saved him from, the way they'd leaned on each other, embarrassing things they'd done or helped each other out of- good stuff. At first she giggled, and made silly comments that helped take the edge off the melancholy in a way he found enchanting. It put him at ease, and lessened his pain a bit. Gradually she commented less, just letting him talk.
It was the first time he'd spoken of many of those times aloud to anyone. He was up to his rescue of Bucky from Schmidt's fortress in Austria, when he noticed that Darcy's breathing had changed. He lay his head down by her side, and kissed her hand again as he thought of all he'd just told her. He'd not given much thought to what Zola had done to Bucky there… until he found himself face to face, and fist to fist with Bucky in the streets of Washington, DC a week ago. His new guilt over Bucky's fate stabbed at him yet again.
He turned so that he looked up at Darcy. She looked 'softer' asleep, even sweeter. Her full lips were barely parted. His attraction to her had hit immediately and powerfully. No one had been with her at first, and he'd felt a need to make sure she was okay, even before discovering how sweet and kind she was. Now he found himself comfortable with a girl for the first time… ever. He couldn't help wishing it were okay for him to kiss those lips. Contrary to her expectations, he was seeing her as more and more of an amazing dame. He stared at her for a long time as he relaxed and his eyes grew heavier. He thought he would just close them for a minute.
Jane Foster crept into Darcy's room early the next morning and stopped in her tracks when she saw Captain America sitting asleep by Darcy's side, holding her hand. Her eyes widened at the sight. After standing still for a long time, she finally entered the room and set the whimsical bear she'd brought on the window sill. She stood at the foot of the bed, awkwardly sipping her coffee.
After a moment, Steve's eyes opened. He sat up, and gasped in surprise. Darcy woke. She blinked her eyes open and asked, "Jane?"
Jane spoke softly, "I brought coffee and a bear dressed like Thor… to keep you company…"
Steve yawned and apologized, "I'm sorry. I must have talked myself to sleep…"
Darcy smiled blearily, "That's okay! I liked the stories. You and Bucky are somethin', Steve!"
Steve nodded, looking pleased. He stood. "I'll let you ladies visit now. I hope you're feeling better today, Darcy. Goodbye." He glanced at Jane awkwardly as he stood and backed away from Darcy's side.
Darcy nodded, and furtively tried to make her hair look a bit better. He smiled, "don't worry... You wake up pretty." She shook her head, but grinned at him as he turned on his heel and left with a shy wave to both of them. He saw that she took her Thor bear and hugged it enthusiastically.
Jane moved to the chair he'd vacated, "what's up with Captain America, Darcy?" She looked perplexed.
Darcy made 'gimme' gestures towards the coffee. "Let me drink that before the nurse takes it or something." Jane handed her the mocha and Darcy sipped it gratefully, moaning with pleasure.
After a moment Darcy replied, "his name is Steve. Oh my gods, he's so sweet! And he just called me pretty! Eeee! He came down here because he heard the rain start, and Mr. Jarvis, I mean 'JARVIS', told him that I was awake… and Steve didn't want me to be afraid of the watery sounds. Can you believe how sweet that is?" Her grin nearly split her face.
Down the hall, Steve was about to get on the elevator when he heard Darcy correct Jane that his name was Steve rather than Captain America, and then gush about him. He smiled slightly, feeling a lot lighter and happier than he had in a long time. He'd forgotten the sensation of caring so much about how another person saw him that he wanted to be more of a man, better, all they deserved.
Jane looked stricken, "oh, my God, I didn't even think about it! I heard it raining in the night. I just rolled back over and went to sleep. I suck!"
Darcy smiled fondly, "yeah... You kinda do." She laughed at Jane's expression.
"So, I told him I'm nothing like that damned picture…" She looked up indignantly and asked, "Hey, JARVIS! Is there any way I can get you to remove my personal, private glamour portrait from Tony Stark's computers? Cuz it's just creepy for him to have it."
JARVIS replied, "yes. I have deleted the photograph. I apologize, Miss Lewis."
Darcy chewed on her lip and answered, "it's okay, JARVIS. And remember, you can call me Darcy."
JARVIS replied, "I did not wish to presume that right, as I knew you to be angry with me, Darcy."
She laughed, "it's all good. Thanks!" She made a silly face at Jane. "The walls have eyes! Or, well ears…" She shrugged, admitting to herself that she was comforted to know that JARVIS was keeping watch.
Jane nodded, "so, that pic's taken care of..." She cocked her head and smiled, "I was curious last night and had JARVIS show me. You looked amazing! That draped-sheet look really worked for you. Thor chose his words carefully… saying, 'your friend is a fair maiden, indeed!'" Jane giggled.
Darcy quirked a smile and rolled her eyes, "apparently I should have been born before World War II. They LOVED curves then."
Jane nodded. "The Captain seems to have a huge crush."
Darcy smiled softly, and replied, "I'm good with that. Steve's pretty crush-worthy, himself."
Jane nodded, "he's a bit more straight-laced than I expect you to go for, but fairly handsome."
Darcy laughed, "gods, Jane. You're so hung up on Thor, you can barely see that Steve Rogers is built, gorgeous… and nice, anyway!" She set the mocha down and begged, "now, push the button to call the nurse so I can get up and pee. I'm about to bust."
After the nurse had helped Darcy to the toilet, Darcy asked if Jane would mind staying and talking to her while they tried a shower. JARVIS interjected, "Darcy, Mr. Stark suggests that you NOT wash your hair in the shower the first time. He suffered a flashback to his ill treatment in Afghanistan, when water ran down his face during his first shower after his captivity." Jane looked stricken at JARVIS' words.
Darcy shuddered, nodded and agreed, "Yeah... I don't want to crack my head open trying to fight free of people in the shower." She grimaced, "but my hair could sure use a wash…"
JARVIS offered, "the Tower has a hair and nail salon, if you would like for me to schedule appointments for you."
Darcy shook her head regretfully, swallowing hard. She could not imagine laying her head back in a sink for washing. She shook her head quickly and pushed the thought away. She would just have to get to her hair in a subsequent shower. She requested, "please give Mr. Stark my 'thanks, dude'." JARVIS replied he would. Darcy asked, "JARVIS? Do you listen to all private conversations here?"
JARVIS replied, "your secrets are safe with me, so long as you remain on the same side of the law as Mr. Stark."
Darcy nodded, "okay, J. So unless he goes rogue or something, my private conversations stay private then, right?" JARVIS confirmed this.
The nurse with the jade earrings reentered from preparing the bathroom. Darcy asked her, "what's your name?"
The nurse smiled and replied, "I'm Agent Navarro, formerly of SHIELD."
Darcy grimaced, "I get the feeling 'formerly of SHIELD' describes a lot of people now!"
Navarro nodded agreement. She informed Darcy, "after you shower I will bring in the spirometer, the breathing machine, to exercise your lungs. We need to work towards good output levels, so you can be released to your new apartment." She gave Darcy some pills to take.
Darcy chased them with water from the sports bottle, and bit out, "well, bring it on, then! I have less than warm and fuzzy feelings for hospital rooms right now. I'm ready to go." While Darcy drank from the water bottle she wondered about the new apartment.
Navarro smiled sympathetically, "and you will sit with Dr. Chau to discuss your psychological assistance, of course. I promise that she's very good and helpful."
Darcy's smile faded, "of course. Oh, joy."
The shower went well; though Darcy was heartily glad she'd heeded Stark's advice and not tried to wash her hair. The thought of closing her eyes and letting water run over her face was sickening. She saw how upset Jane was every time she flinched (not to mention the bruising on her stomach and subsequent explanation), and Darcy felt guilty for her reactions, which kinda sucked.
It made her grateful for the way Steve offered her comfort without inflicting guilt. She tried to rationalize, reminding herself that he hardly knew her… but it didn't ring true. He was easy to talk to, and easy to listen to. She had even already told him a secret, she blushed as she recalled. And he hadn't looked at her like she was a frigid freak or a liar. He'd kissed her hand like… she was a lady.
When she saw the breathing machine, she grimaced. The mask portion made her nervous, which set her on angry edge. While she was struggling to blow the necessary amount, another nurse peeked in and exclaimed, "Special delivery, Miss Lewis!"
It was a balloon bouquet that contained a couple of brightly colored pinwheels, and some containers of bubbles. The note read:
"Darcy,
I hope you feel better soon. Sick kids in pediatric hospitals use pinwheels and bubbles to build up their lungs after procedures or illness. I figure that toys might be more fun than the 'machine' they'll make you use.
Take care– Steve Rogers"
His penmanship was gorgeous. She swore to never inflict her chicken scratch on his poor eyes.
Darcy laughed, and eagerly asked Agent Navarro if she could blow pinwheels and bubbles instead. The agent shrugged, grinned slightly, and admitted that any breathing exercise Darcy did would be beneficial. Then she went to consult a pediatric hospital so she would better know the use equivalent between the toys and a spirometer (thinking she would probably suggest the machine a time or two more for formal readings).
Jane joined Darcy in blowing bubbles for a bit, telling her about Avengers Tower and her interactions with Thor's team. It was much more fun than blowing into a machine, especially one with a face mask. After a while, Jane asked, "does it seem strange to you that Captain America is so fixated on you?"
Darcy raised an eyebrow, frowned, and complained, "Gee, thanks! You sound like I'm not good enough for him or something." She nibbled her lip and pouted, admitting to herself that she wondered that.
Jane shook her head quickly and frowned, "No! It's not… no. It's just that, I wonder if he's being realistic. He seems to view you like a girl from the 1940's because of that vintage pic. You're modern. You've been in lots of relationships. I mean, you're still dating the intern, aren't you?"
Darcy shook her head slowly, "I broke it off."
Jane sat back, "because of Captain America? Or because you'd had your fill of him?" She waggled her brows.
Darcy made a face, and answered carefully, "I just wasn't as into him as he was me." She had never told Jane that she was not sexually active. Jane assumed because of jokes Darcy made, and maybe for the same reasons other people did, that Darcy was cutting a torrid swath through the male population. In reality, Darcy hadn't yet dated a man who understood her desire to wait on sex until they knew each other, until they had 'feelings'. She didn't think she cared if she waited 'til marriage, or even if she'd ever marry, but she at least wanted caring emotions to be part of the package, before she put out. She hadn't mentioned this to Jane, because when they first met Jane was living with a jerk of a doctor and Darcy didn't want to come off all weird or 'holier than thou.'
Jane shrugged and returned to her line of attack. "It's just odd for someone to get as worked up over a stranger's welfare as the Captain did the other day. Thor asked him about it. I heard he was hanging around outside your door after you came in… And then to come spend the night by your side and send you gifts? It's kind of stalker-ish." Darcy made a face at Jane, as Jane continued, "he's grieving his time. You know he's nearing one hundred…Thor even tells me that he had a flame in World War II who's now in her nineties! He still visits her- Agent Peggy Carter, one of the founders of SHIELD…"
Darcy looked at Jane angrily. "You fell in love with Thor over about three days, and he's like a thousand years old! Why should it seem weird if someone awesome likes me? If he's nice enough to want to help me recover and not be scared?! We talked for a long time last night. Now, he sends me a fun gift to help me breathe better and I'm supposed to think that's creepy? What the hell, Jane?"
Jane sighed, "I'm sorry! I didn't know what happened last night. For all I knew he just came in here, watched you a while, and then fell asleep by you without you knowing he was there!"
Darcy cackled, "just cuz Steve was born in the same time period as Edward Cullen doesn't make him like him!"
Jane looked at her blankly, "who?"
Darcy laughed with an edge of frustration. "Forget it! It's a pop-culture thing. I tried to make you watch one of the movies, and you ignored it for work." She shook her head and muttered, "nobody I know gets pop-culture worth a damn." Jane looked at Darcy blankly again. Darcy chuckled, "listen up! I'll be careful."
Jane nodded. "Good!" She blushed and bit her lip, and shared in a rush, "because we're going to live here in the Tower. Thor and I have been given a floor, and I'll have a fully-funded lab! You'll have an apartment there, too, and Erik and a caregiver for him as well." She smiled, "you won't mind living here, will you?"
Darcy laughed, "you didn't give a crap how I felt about New Mexico or London. Suddenly, you care what I think when you're making me live in the most awesome building in New York? I think I can deal with it!"
Jane laughed, "robots and aliens have deepened our sisterly bond. I couldn't leave you out when things turn sweet!" and then she grew serious, "but us living in Avengers Tower is why I'm worried about you and Captain America…"
Darcy grinned grimly, "Oh! You mean because you don't want me kicked out if things get weird." She raised her brows, "yeah... That would suck for you. You'd starve during your science binges without me around to fetch snacks."
Jane made a face at Darcy. "You do more than that…"
Darcy blew bubbles at Jane, and pulled a face. "Don't I know it!" She nodded. "Okay. I get the concern about keeping the peace with the other Avengers." She twirled a strand of hair, making a face at it since it needed washing, "I usually do fine with that if the guy is decent, which I think Steve Rogers is, by any standard. I've read about him in history books, which is kind of weirdly hilarious, but still…" Jane looked concerned, but let the matter drop. After a bit more chatting, Jane left so Darcy could rest.
After a nap and some lunch, Darcy heard a knock at the door. Dr. Chau came in and sat in the chair by the bed, told JARVIS the purpose of her visit, and had him put a noise barrier around the room for privacy's sake. Dr. Chau was an older woman who dressed impeccably and seemed imperturbable. She shared her credentials in a soothing tone that nearly inspired Darcy to nap again. She asked Darcy if she was ready to discuss what she had experienced, and her feelings about it. Darcy was then impressed with Dr. Chau's ability to let silence hang without fidgeting, a talent Darcy did NOT possess.
So, Darcy told the doctor about her visit to the psychiatric hospital, and her capture and interrogation there. She confessed how idiotic she felt about her sulky 'unplugged' tantrum over her love life, and the way she'd stupidly blundered into a Hydra facility as a result. She talked about water pitchers and rain drops, and how much she wished she could wash her hair without going insane.
Then, her facade of calm cracking like an egg, she burst out sobbing, and babbled nonsense for a good fifteen minutes. She figured it was the ugliest cry she'd ever had in her life… complete with big, fat tears and lots of snot. Dr. Chau knew where the extra tissues were kept; something Darcy figured was a necessary qualification in this doctor's line of work. Darcy also talked about how the Avengers had told her she was not alone in her experience, how kind Steve had been to her, and how even Tony Stark had been thoughtful. It was exhausting.
The doctor urged her to continue talking openly about what had happened, and to be understanding with herself and her new stressors. Dr. Chau outlined meditation techniques that might help Darcy focus her thoughts when panic attacks threatened. She also prescribed some medicine to 'take the edge off' memories of recent events.
Darcy set appointments for two times per week for the next six weeks, impressed with the benefits of living in the Avengers' Tower when she was told it was covered under Jane's lab funding. Finally, Darcy shared a bit about Steve's attention to her and Jane's concerns. She was interested by the gentle smile that lit Dr. Chau's face.
Dr. Chau noted, "the Captain is a good man. He would never do anything to make you uncomfortable, regardless of the status of your friendship. Grieving does not make him any less of a man." Dr. Chau cleared her throat and warned, "your biggest concern will be the jealousy of all of the other young ladies and young men who wish the Captain would pay them particular attention! You should hear them chattering over him every time he visits the Tower! I thought some would become hysterical when word got out that he was moving here."
Darcy chuckled, "you mean old ladies and old men don't have crushes on him, too?"
Dr. Chau laughed, "oh, of course, we do! We're just old, not dead! But most of us have grown past the petty jealousies of youth… or discovered other pleasures."
So Darcy's first counseling session ended on an up note and she didn't dread the sessions to come.
to be continued