Please read my Author's note
Andy 12-7 11:05 PM
I lay on my bed, my warm body against the cool sheets warming them. It's funny really. How you always seem to feel cold when you are sad, but when I'm depressed I get warmer. If you were me you'd laugh. I swear you would.
Of course I'm thinking about Haley, I almost always am. I broke up with Beth, she was a bitch. She really was, and that made me laugh as well. My everything was a synonym to Beth for a while. That was even my contact name for her. Want to know my name in her phone? Goofy. It is pathetic how attached to her I was. It really is. I haven't told Haley yet, and I don't know when I will. Maybe she got back together with that guy, Dillon or whatever his name is. Maybe it doesn't even matter. Guys like him are stupid. Guys like him are always talking about their conquest or whoever they are lusting after next. Guys like him are why girls like her don't think twice about me. So handsome, but only skin deep.
I hear my mom's boyfriend Eric trying to sweet talk her again. Funny. He was just like Dillon, one of a million of the same type of guy. I guess my mom needed someone like him after my dad died, or maybe she always needed him. I don't care, it doesn't matter, nothing really does anymore. Dad was a special guy, but this man in my dad's house dishonored his memory to me. I needed to leave and soon. Everything was bothering me, the untucked part of my sheets, the clothes on my floor, the water bottle on my nightstand, and most importantly, this man in my house.
"Hey champ!" says Eric as I grab my coat. Looking at my mom's awestruck face at his obviously fake gesture of kindness made me sick. His face only furthered my disgust. The face that reminded me of a rat. His hollow, rodent like eyes, and the beer gut sticking out a mile from his waist. The arrogant stubble on his face, like he was too good looking to shave. Nothing in the world would give me more satisfaction than socking this little 5 foot 2 man directly in the face, but I restrain myself mostly for my mom's sake.
"Hello Eric," I say with a tight lipped smile.
"How are you my lad? You look well, though your mom looks better." He says with a wink that set off a thousand bombs in my head.
"Thank you." I say not lowering my gaze as he hoped. "I better be going."
"About that," he says, gazing the room like a prized lawyer. "I'm not sure that I want you out so late at night. I want you to stay home for the night, go back to your room."
"No."
"No? NO? I didn't realize it was a question. Now go back to your room!" He yells, blustering at me with a ever reddening face.
"You are not my father, nor are you in charge of this house. I'm going out tonight, and when I come back you will not be here."
"Don't mess with me boy," He yells straightening up to his full height of 5 foot 2.
"I'm done with this conversation. I'm done listening to you, and I'm done living here. I'm sorry mom, but this rat living here dishonors dad's memory. I just can't anymore, and for that I'm sorry." I look sadly at my mom before I grab my wallet and jacket and open the door to an uncertain future.
Haley's POV 12-8 1:30 AM
I lie awake in my bed, my left side of me cold without Alex here anymore. She went back to her room again, but I have a feeling she will be back tomorrow. Or maybe she won't, I can't read her. I never could, she's just too smart or maybe I'm just stupid. Probably both, but I still missed her. She really was not taking this well at all. She really wasn't. You wouldn't either. You really wouldn't.
I open up my messages.
Andy.
Oh god. I'm not sure what we were anymore. I know that he and Beth weren't together anymore, but I don't think that it was because of his love for me. Which in it's own sick way made me a little jealous that he really did love her, and not me. I was just as hot as her, or maybe even hotter. Maybe I'm just ranting right now, I'm not sure of my own feelings anymore. I feel like a surfer, balanced carefully on a board. I might ride it out, or I might fall off and…
I was so nervous about Jay and my mother's health that I barely looked at my phone, moving my white bracelet over to grab it. I hesitantly opened messages and looked at Andy text.
Hey Hales - A
Hi Andy - H
I was wondering if maybe I could spend the night there - A
Oh um why - H
My mom's boyfriend and I had a pretty serious fight, but you don't have to! Honestly I'll just get a hotel room - A
No it's fine :) - H
No I really don't want to intrude - A
Come over you big nerd - H
Are you sure - A
Yeah I could really use a hug - H
Well I owe you one :) - A
See you in 20? - H
15 :) - A
Not soon enough - H
Well you have to wait for the best things in life - A
I smile and truly laugh for the first time in what feels in weeks. I glance around the sloppy room and gasp at how messy I can be. I pick up a few things here and there and turn on my lamp, giving the room a soft yellow glow. Some soft Christmas music gives the room a much needed ambiance, and I set out some gingerbread cookies usually reserved for my late nights with Alex.
The doorbell rung and I raced to the door and it swing open. I stared at him. Andy. My Andy.
Never let anyone tell you that you aren't good enough. You are. You are the most important person in Your life, and don't you ever forget. I know I'm not the person to tell you to love yourself, because believe me, I hate myself. However, maybe that's why I can tell you. Love yourself, love someone else, love life. So be free, this is your life. Spend it on yourself, or try to help others as much as you can. The choice is yours, and be happy doing whatever you want. Write your own story. Be your own hero. Because you guys are awesome. Your reviews make me write, so please write some more. Until we next meet, have a good time being yourself.