Author's Note: Thank you for the lovely reviews so far. Like I said before, this is my first FMA fic. So if there is anything you like or even don't like, please let me know. Any suggestions are welcome. That way I know whether I am on the right track or not.

Coming Undone

The first week since her attack had been arduous. Riza had felt as though she was skittering on ice, always watching for the cracks, always too close to slipping. As she steadily progressed through her days, she had begun to feel a little stronger. She knew now what to expect – knew that she would be safe in the office even though the General still lurked in the building. She knew the Colonel would never let her go hungry during lunch breaks. Nor would he demand her to talk. Or hold it against her when she shied away from his gaze and sometimes – if they were alone, his touch. He seemed to understand she needed space and always gave her plenty, only venturing close when she softened towards him.

She didn't feel as fearful as she once had, walking into the building in the mornings or when leaving at the end of the day. She hadn't seen the General at all. She could only hope that he'd come to his senses and realised the damage he had caused to her. She hoped he was avoiding her the way she had been avoiding him. Then they would never, ever have to meet.

It was childish hope but she hoped with all her heart, nonetheless.

The nights still made her nervous. The darkness lured out her tightly locked fears, until they played on her mind freely while she lay in bed, trying to sleep. Sometimes she felt invisible hands on her in the gloom, making the slowly fading bruises on her hips and breasts prickle, causing her to shudder – as though the General's ghost had come back to play. On nights like those, she would longingly gaze at the phone on her bedside table, willing it to ring.

She so desperately wanted to talk to her Colonel. She wanted to curl up with the phone pressed against her ear, listening to his warm and comforting voice telling her everything would be okay. That one day soon, she would stop hurting and feel whole again. But of course, for that to happen, he would have to know …

And he could never know.

He could never comfort her in the way she wanted him to, in the way she needed when he didn't know the extent of the damage. This was her own battle. But that was okay, she was slowly fighting it. Just having him there in the office was more than enough. His presence made her feel better. As did the memory of him when she was alone during the nights.

She'd thought back to that Friday's lunch break again and again. It was uncanny how he had known exactly what she had needed. She remembered the way he'd look at her over the table, how soft his gaze at been – and she could have sworn, it wasn't just the Colonel sitting before her but Roy. Her Roy. The boy she had known and loved since her childhood. The boy who had spoken about changing the country for the better and one day, marrying her.

Tell me what you want, his words had strolled through her mind over and over.

You, she had wanted to say. It's always been you.

But her lips had remained sealed.

At one point she had started to slip, losing her sense of reality – her mind had been dragged back to that night again and Roy had noticed. And he had bought her back using only a touch – innocent, friendly and reminiscent of their childhood. For the time being, he had anchored her to him and to reality and she had been grateful for that.

It happened again when the Colonel had paid for lunch. Suddenly, Riza was sitting at a different table, with a different man, someone who possessed a much darker intent. This one was smiling like a Cheshire Cat, cold grey eyes focusing on her lips, as he deliberately rolled his tongue over his teeth, saying 'I'll take care of dinner.' So that should mean …

Dessert's on you.

No.

Her fear was irrational and absurd but she couldn't help but think what the Colonel would expect from her now that he had paid for her? Now that he had been paying for her all week, she suddenly realised. Money meant nothing. Men threw it away all too readily on women if it meant they could claim their bodies whenever they felt they were owed it. Would he too take what he felt was his now that she was indebted to him?

It was Roy's voice that had snapped her back to her senses and she had felt guilty and ashamed for even thinking such an awful thing. When she finally looked up into his dark gaze, she realised it was nothing like the General's. It could never be anything like the General's. They were far too different. She could see the gentle concern within them and she hated herself for thinking of him like that. Roy would never take anything from her without her consent.

She knew this as surely as she knew the sun would rise tomorrow.

'Taking me out for lunch again, handsome?' Breda had joked on Monday morning.

To Riza's amusement, the Colonel had actually done what he had suggested during their first lunch together a couple of weeks back. He had begun taking his staff out for lunch breaks, alternating between Havoc, Breda and herself. Falman had politely declined the invitation, preferring to spend his lunch breaks outside on a bench with a cup of tea and a good book while Fuery – although he admired Mustang – felt far too intimidated to go on a one on one lunch with the Colonel just yet. Havoc and Breda had accepted enthusiastically.

At least this way, it didn't look too suspicious when people saw him having lunch with his Lieutenant every Tuesdays and Thursdays. Mondays were reserved for Breda and Fridays for Havoc. Whatever people assumed when they saw Colonel Roy Mustang dining with Lieutenant Riza Hawkeye was swept away by the rowdiness of Havoc and Breda during their days out with the Colonel. It helped create the perception that Roy Mustang loathed to dine alone.

On the days when the reluctant Colonel was dragged out of the office by one of his cheery men, it was Fuery (acting on Mustang's orders) who bought lunch to Riza's desk. She would thank him for it each time and he would get embarrassed and insist it was no trouble at all.

Wednesday lunch breaks were spent in the office. The Colonel would step out to buy them both something to eat before joining Riza at her desk. They always ensured there were files splayed open nearby so that they could claim they were working on something complicated through their break if someone were to walk in and see them sitting so close together.

She wondered how she could ever explain to him how grateful she was that he was going through all this trouble just for her. All the doubts that she had in the past where she had wondered whether he cared about her – especially now, that they had crossed the line to subordinate and commanding officer were washed away by his actions. She knew now that he still loved her – she could feel the deep affection he held for her in every covert glance, every stolen caress.

Riza had firmly informed him that she wanted to pay her share despite his assurance that there was no need. At her insistence however, he had grudgingly relented and allowed her to pay on Tuesdays. Wednesdays they shared and Thursdays were his treat. She knew he would never expect anything in return for the food he bought her and the kindness he showed but she felt better all the same. Allowing him to pay for everything wasn't fair on him, after all.

Besides, Havoc and Breda were probably eating him into bankruptcy.

Roy made her heart flutter with his closeness and against her better judgement – they were at work, someone could see them, this was against the rules – she allowed him his moments. Sometimes his dark eyes would simply trail her as she walked around the office, other times she would let him stand a little too near as he leaned forward, looking over her shoulder to check something she had written on some report. Then there were times when he would intentionally brush his fingers against hers as she passed him something and during the end of the day, he would help her into her overcoat, smoothing out the creases in the material over her shoulders with slow, deliberate movements, his hands lingering on her a few seconds too long.

He didn't question her anymore and she was grateful for it. Maybe he noticed she wasn't as fragile as she had appeared during that first week back. Maybe he thought he could heal her with his touch alone and that words weren't necessary. Or maybe he respected her enough to think that she would simply tell him, when and if she was ready. He seemed content to take her as she was … but he still watched after her, the concern almost disguising the melancholy in his eyes.

Almost.

Every time she caught him looking at her like that, it made her heart wrench.

'Riza, try this.'

'I'm fine, sir. But thank you, anyway.' She replied, professional as ever. Making sure she emphasized the title.

She wasn't about to forgo ranks the way he seemed to do when they were alone. Besides, she was already letting him press his thigh up against hers while they were sitting side by side, having lunch. She had to retain some semblance of professionalism even though Roy was determined to blur the lines at times. It was Wednesday and he'd come back with sandwiches, fruit and hot drinks. And a surprise from the bakery.

Now, he was holding up a forkful of soft, creamy looking cheesecake, tantalisingly close to her lips. She could practically smell the sweetness. She pressed her lips together and glared at him. Somebody could walk in at any moment. What would they think if they were to see her being fed cake by her commanding officer?

She shook her head at him, which in turn made him give her a beseeching look as he wiggled the fork teasingly near her lips. Riza sighed, exasperated. The sooner she took a bite, the sooner he would stop playing this silly game. Making sure the door to their office remained firmly closed, she leaned forward, opening her mouth to accept the cake.

Roy grinned at her as he watched her swallow, using the same fork to take a bite himself. He kept his gaze locked on hers as he placed it in his mouth, savouring the taste for a moment, before drawing it out again slowly, so that there was no trace of cream left on the fork. Riza watched him silently, feeling a blush steadily creep up on to her face.

'You know,' Roy said, thoughtfully, keeping his voice low. 'It's almost like we're kissing.'

Riza had just taken a sip of cool water, anything to dispel the redness in her cheeks and his comment had her spluttering. He rubbed her back soothingly as she regained control of herself and as soon as he saw that she was okay, he placed both the slice of cake and his fork in front of her, before getting up to return to his own desk. She could hear his trail of laughter.

Ten minutes later, when she had grudgingly decided to accept his peace offering, she found herself wondering – if he kissed her now, would he taste as sweet as the cake?

On Friday, later that week, the Colonel was called out of the office, mid-morning. Riza had glanced up at him as he'd left but hadn't dwelled too much on it. It wasn't unusual, after all. It could have been for any reason from sitting in on a meeting to going over the paperwork he'd submitted the previous week. However, when he still hadn't returned almost two hours later, Riza began to feel worried. What was taking so long? Was there an emergency somewhere? She should have asked to accompany him …

A little while later, Havoc excused himself for a latrine break. He wandered back in fifteen minutes later as the other men were getting ready to head out for their lunch breaks.

'Lieutenant Hawkeye.' He saluted, before dropping down to lean on her desk. He was one of the few that had the ability to get away with it. They had known each other for a long time and when they were alone, she was lenient when he shifted from Second Lieutenant Havoc, to just Jean Havoc. The kind-hearted, idiotic young man that she had met during her time in academy.

'Colonel says we should go out for lunch today instead.' Havoc said, already fingering the cigarette pack in his pocket.

'So you've spoken to him?' They were outside, on their way to the same café on 5th. What she really wanted to ask was whether the Colonel was alright and what he was doing but she refrained. It wasn't fair to put Havoc on the spot by demanding answers, especially considering the fact that he may not know much at all. Maybe he'd only been given the order.

'Yeah.' Havoc took a deep drag from his cigarette with a practiced ease before blowing out the smoke with obvious pleasure. 'Dunno what's going on, Lieutenant. But he looked pretty pissed off.'

Riza kept silent. She hated being so far away from the Colonel when something was so obviously happening. At least if she had stayed at her desk, they would have still been in the same building. She could have run to him if necessary. But then maybe he knew he was going to be tied up for a while. Maybe that's why he had asked Havoc to take her out for lunch.

To save her from having to sit at her desk for hours, worrying needlessly about him.

At the café, Havoc led her to a table near the window and they both sat down. This was good. They were in full view of anyone passing on the street as well as the entire café. It couldn't hurt to let people see her with one of the other men from her team for a change rather than the Colonel himself.

After they had placed their orders, Riza found herself gazing earnestly at the table tucked away in the corner, the one she always shared with the Colonel. She wanted to see him, wanted to make sure he was okay. It was Havoc's voice that bought her back from her thoughts.

'There's something I've been meaning to ask you, Riza.' He began, looking solemn. 'And I would appreciate it if you were honest with me.'

She could feel a lump forming in her throat, dreading what he was about to ask. Had he picked up on her behavior recently? Would he ask why she refused to visit the canteen during lunch breaks or why she was quieter than usual? Had he seen her leave with the General that night?

'So there's this girl.' The seriousness on Havoc's face was swept away by a love-sick, puppy dog look. 'Her name's Sarah and she works in the flower shop on East Street. I see her every day on my way to work …'

Riza sighed inwardly, feeling her apprehension melt away. Throughout their meal, she listened to him talk about how he tried to get to know the lovely women with the flowers, how they had gently flirted with each other every morning, how she appeared interested and yet shied away from him whenever he tried to invite her out on a date.

As Havoc talked, she felt her fondness for him grow. It was a relief to have her mind occupied like this with something completely different. She listened carefully, trying her best to give him her honest opinion.

'So tell me,' he said, looking despondent. 'Do you think I'm wasting my time?'

'Not at all.' She had replied, taking a sip of her tea. 'You need to take things slow. Why don't you invite her to go for a walk first?'

'Yeah, that's right. Start slow.' He cheered up immediately, giving a sudden laugh. 'Guess if I invited her for a walk rather than a full on dinner date, it would give her a chance to run away if she didn't like me!'

'How could she not like you?' Riza had smiled.

When they entered the office after lunch, Riza was distressed to see that the Colonel still hadn't returned. She took her seat at her desk, along with the other men and started working. The others didn't comment at the absence but she could tell they were all wondering. She couldn't help but glance over at the Colonel's desk every now and then. She was so accustomed to seeing him there, that it felt strange to see it empty all of a sudden – and stranger still, to know that it had been empty for hours now.

One more hour. She resolved to give him one more hour and if he wasn't back by then, she would go and look for him. She was supposed to be his bodyguard, after all. Nobody would question it. With that thought in mind, she picked up her pen and started writing, determined to finish the report as quickly as possible.

Riza's hour hadn't quite yet been up before the door to the office slammed open. She watched startled, as the Colonel stalked in, looking like thunder.

'Sir!' Every single one of the men in the room stood to attention as did she, saluting smartly. The outrage emitting from his demeanour was almost tangible and she was well aware that the other men could sense it too. She watched as he ignored his men, focusing in on her instead. She couldn't quite remember seeing his eyes look so dark and dangerous before.

'Lieutenant Hawkeye.' His voice betrayed nothing of his infuriation. 'I would like a word. In private, if you will.'

Without so much as a pause, he turned back to leave the office. Riza had simply nodded once before doing as instructed. She ignored the sympathetic glances from the other men as she left the office, trailing after her Colonel in silence.

He led her wordlessly down the corridor. She couldn't help but wonder what had happened, what was going to happen and how this affected them both. She knew something had happened in order for him to react in such a way. She could feel her heart slowly start to sink as he opened the door to an empty meeting room and ushered her inside.

When he turned to face her once more, she could tell that he had tried to calm himself down and she knew it was only for her benefit. He regarded her in silence for a few moments, deep contemplation obvious in his stillness. She longed to ask him what was wrong but she knew she was facing Colonel Roy Mustang right now and not her Roy – the one who smiled at her, teased her and bought her lunch. She held herself in check, remembering her place. She patiently waited but still he did not speak.

'Sir?' She finally questioned, hesitantly.

'I thought it was appropriate that you be the first to know, Lieutenant.' Mustang began, his voice low. 'A request has been made for your transfer to another commanding officer.'

She was absolutely aghast. She couldn't imagine being under someone else's command. She had promised Roy Mustang that she would remain by his side, that she would watch his back, that she would follow him – even into hell. The fact that such an important promise could be broken by an order from someone higher up in command was devastating.

If anything were to test them in their loyalty to each other, it should have been the world itself and all its obstacles and not some man sitting in an office somewhere. It was unfair that she would be taken from him by words alone. But then, she was naive to think that this hadn't been a possibility from the very beginning. Commands changed all the time, soldiers were transferred all the time – why would it be any different for them?

'May I ask who issued the request, sir?' Riza spoke quietly, resisting the urge step forward so that she could bury her face into his chest and sob.

Mustang didn't answer right away. His silence stretched on as she gazed up at him curiously. She couldn't quite place the expression on his handsome features. She searched his eyes and for once, they were unreadable to her – she couldn't pick out a single emotion within them. And she hated that.

When he finally replied, his tone was strange and she had the sudden notion that he knew far more than he was letting on.

'General Trent Kaizer.'