Banshee: Here's chapter 4 of "Rock-A-Bye Xemnas." Having a baby is the biggest test of patience, so I thought I'd touch on a little bit of that in this chapter. Remember, the poll for "Life with Organization XIII" ends on August 20, so remember to vote, vote, vote~!

Disclaimer: I do not own the Kingdom Hearts characters; Square Enix does. I only own my OC and the plot.

Chapter Four: Patience Is A Virtue

When I woke up a few hours later, the first thing I did was look at the clock. I saw what time it was, and froze, suddenly remembering that I had a report due by midnight. If I didn't give the report to Saïx by midnight, then I would have to do twice the work tomorrow. I got to work immediately, describing what happened during the day. A lot had happened, so it was a lot to write, and my writing hand was sore as hell when I was finished. Once I was done, I put it in an envelope and sealed it, giving it to Momo so he could give it to Saïx. When he teleported away, I decided to go out and see how Axel was doing, hoping that when I opened the door, the castle wasn't reduced to a war zone.

I opened the door cautiously and peeked my head out into the hallway, almost surprised to see that, so far, everything was still in one piece - not that I doubted Axel's abilities… actually, yes, I did.

"Huh.." I said to myself as I stepped out into the hallway. "So far, so good."

I made my way down to the kitchen, where I saw Axel trying to feed Xemnas a jar of puree sweet potatoes. He was holding a spoon up to his face, but the infant turned his head away stubbornly.

"Axel.. What are you doing?"

I apparently caught him off guard, for he jumped when I spoke.

"What's it look like I'm doing? I'm feeding the baby."

"It's almost eight." I said after looking at the clock. "He was supposed to have dinner nearly two hours ago. Why are you feeding him now?"

"I had to wait until all the other members were gone. If they saw him like this, who knows what could happen; and if they saw me taking care of a baby, I'd never live it down."

I rolled my eyes.

"Here, let me feed him." I said, grabbing the spoon from his hands.

Sitting down in front of the high-chair, I took another spoonful of the sweet potato puree and held it up to Xemnas. He shut his mouth tightly and shook his head stubbornly, refusing to comply. When I pushed the spoon against his lips, he moved his head away, whining.

"Come on, Xemnas." I pleaded. "Please eat."

He shook his head.

"Open up the tunnel, here comes the train~. Choo choo~." I said, mimicking a train.

No response.

"Wow, this kid's stubborn.. Okay… let's try something else…" I looked around, and a light bulb appeared over my head when I saw the plush heart. I picked it up and held it in front of Xemnas. "What's this? I think your friend is hungry. He loves sweet potatoes; they're his favorite. See?"

I took the spoon and pretended to feed the puree to the heart. Taking its arm, I made it rub its stomach as I made munching noises, and said in a goofy voice, "Mm, I love sweet potatoes! Try some, Xemnas. They're good."

As Axel watched me do this, I knew he was thinking "What the hell is she doing?" He snickered when I made the goofy noises and talked in a high-pitched voice, but he stopped when I glared at him. My aunt Stacy has a baby, and would sometimes use his favorite toy to persuade him to eat his food when he would stubbornly refuse what she was feeding him. The toy would pretend to eat and say that this particular dish was its favorite, and her son, wanting to imitate, would eat also. Seeing this technique executed successfully so many times, I decided to try it on Xemnas. Sure enough, it worked. The next time I held a spoonful to him, he opened his mouth and ate. He ate spoonful and after spoonful until the jar was completely empty.

"I can't believe that worked.." He said, his eyes widened in shock. "How did you do that? Do you have the power of hypnosis, or something?"

I didn't respond. I just gave him a flat look.

"What do I do now?" He asked.

"Burp him." I said.

"And how do I do that?"

Sighing, I picked Xemnas up and gave him to the pyro. "Just turn him around and pat him gently on the back until something comes out."

He did as I instructed and turned Xemnas around so his stomach was against his chest and started patting him gently on the back. After a few pats, he let out a little burp. He let out another burp after a few more pats. What came out next was - kind of - unexpected. Axel's shoulder was suddenly covered in baby vomit, tinted slightly orange from the sweet potato. The pyro was so shocked, he almost dropped the Superior, who was acting like nothing happened.

"He puked on me!" He exclaimed, examining his vomit-covered coat in disgust. "The little bastard puked on me!"

"Calm down." I said, taking Xemnas from him. "It's vomit, not acid."

"A little warning would have been nice.." Axel grumbled, taking a roll of paper towels and using them to clean up the vomit, silently thanking God that his coat was made of leather.

"Babies can't control when they puke. They can't control any of their bodily functions yet; things just come out."

"So everything he does is involuntary. That's very nice to hear.." He said, his tone saturated with sarcasm. "Is he gonna piss on me next?"

"Cut the attitude. You want to be a dad? This is what comes with it."

He gave me a look. "Getting puked on is what comes with being a dad.."

"Yes."

"Did you puke on your dad?"

"Yes."

"… You puked on your dad?"

"Yup. Loads of times." I said nonchalantly. "I puked on my mom, too. If you want to be a parent, you take everything that comes with it; the good and the bad. Now if you'll excuse me, I have a baby to put to bed."

…

- The Next Day -

…

Day Two.

Axel was away on a few missions, so it was just me.

Xemnas was dirty, so I had to give him a bath. Since he was too small to put in a tub, I used the one thing that nearly every parent uses to bathe their babies; the kitchen sink. He played with the bubbles as I put some baby shampoo in his hair and worked it into a lather. As he played with the bubbles, I couldn't help but think that he actually was kind of cute.

"Dude, I'm telling you, Battle: Los Angeles was way better than War of the Worlds."

I froze when I heard Xigbar's voice coming down the hallway.

"That movie was stupid. War of the Worlds was better."

Oh, great. He's got Xaldin with him.

"You kiddin' me? That queer Tom Cruise couldn't act to save his life. And the oh-so-powerful and invincible aliens die at the end because they were exposed to some Earth bacteria? Laaaame~."

"Battle: Los Angeles is nothing but mindless violence and explosions. At least War of the Worlds actually had a plot."

"Yeah, it had a plot; a lame one."

"You are such a man-child.."

"Up yours, Mutton-Chops."

Xaldin was about to retort when he noticed that Xigbar was standing there with a deer-in-headlights look on his face. He tried waving his hand in front of the gun-toting Nobody's face, and when that didn't work he looked over to see what the hell was so interesting. Soon both were standing there with wide-eyed expressions as they saw me bathing a baby - that looked strikingly like the Superior - in the kitchen sink. I was staring at them with the same look on my face, and as usual Xemnas was completely oblivious.

"What's with the baby?" Xaldin asked.

"Okay, let me see if I can guess what this is about…" Xigbar set the gears in his brain into motion. "Nine months ago, Xemnas invited you into his office and offered you wine, and the two of you drank until you were so f-ed up that you ended up sleeping together. And that's where the baby came from."

"Okay… First of all, ew.." I shuddered. "Second of all, you would know if I was pregnant for the past nine months; which I wasn't."

"Then why does the baby look like…?" The rest of the sentence didn't make it out as Xigbar stared at the infant with wide eyes as he realized that the baby… was the Superior.

"No way…" Then he burst out laughing. "Is that Xemnas? Oh, dude, this is too good!"

"Is that really the Superior?" Xaldin asked as Xigbar was rolling on the floor.

"… Yes.."

He was silent, which was the opposite of what I was expecting, and he wasn't even close to laughing like Xigbar was; he didn't even crack a smile. I didn't know if that was good or bad.

"How long?" He asked.

"A couple days."

"Does anybody else know about this?"

"Well Saïx knows, of course." I said. "Roxas knows, and Axel, Demyx and Zexion know too. And now you two know."

I ignored Xigbar as he continued to roll around on the floor, holding his sides as he laughed his ass off.

Suddenly Axel appeared in a portal, carrying a bag in his hands.

"Hey Nikki, I got those Pampers Cruisers that you wanted."

He noticed the flat look on my face, and turned around when I gestured behind him with my free hand (the one that wasn't hanging onto Xemnas to make sure he didn't accidentally drown in the sink). His eyes widened in horror when he saw Xaldin standing there, and Xigbar only laughed harder from his spot on the floor.

"You got Axel involved in this? Oh, this is too good!" The scarred Nobody managed to choke out between laughing fits. "Ol' Xemnas gets turned into a drooling baby, and Nikki and Axel are playing Mommy and Daddy! I think I busted a gut! Ha ha ha~!"

"Laugh it up, Xigbar. Laugh it up.." I muttered dryly.

…

- That Night -

…

Ever since Xaldin and Xigbar found out about Xemnas being turned into a baby, we've been suffering unbearable ridicule from the other members because that trigger-happy moron (a.k.a. Xigbar) couldn't keep his mouth shut about it. I didn't retaliate when they teased me because I was trying to exercise restraint for Xemnas' sake. When this is all over, and the Superior gets turned back to normal, he owes me big time for everything I've been having to go through because of this.

Before I took Xemnas to bed, I made sure to turn in my daily report.

"Oh God, that was mortifying…"

"Speak for yourself." I said as I tucked the Superior into bed. "They just saw you with a pack of diapers. I was the one that was bathing Xemnas in the kitchen sink."

"You don't have a reputation in this castle; I do. And now it's completely shot because of this."

"Is that what you're worried about? Your stupid reputation? This isn't about you, you know." I stopped before I could say anything more. "You know what? I'm not getting into this with you. It's not good for Xemnas if we argue in front of him."

"You're right." He agreed. "I'm sorry."

"It's okay." I said. "We were both put under a lot of stress today. We'll feel better after we get some sleep."

"Amen to that."

I got into bed, and closed my eyes, immediately opening them again when I felt my bed shift as Axel got into bed with me.

"What the hell are you doing?" I demanded.

"If we're going to pretend to be parents, then we'd better make it convincing." He said.

"You just want an excuse to get into my bed, you pervert."

He smirked. "Maybe."

"Ugh.. Fine." I growled. "But stay on your own damn side."

…

- 3:30 AM -

…

Axel groaned when Xemnas started crying.

"Ugh.. Again? Can't the brat just stay asleep for once?"

"Axel," I said sleepily. "Can you get him?"

"Why me?"

"'Cuz I got him last time. Just go see what he wants."

"Tch. Fine.."

He got out of bed and walked over to the crib, picking Xemnas up and staring at him.

"All right, you little runt…" He muttered. "What do you want?"

"Is he hungry?" I asked.

"How the hell should I know?"

"Try giving him his bottle."

Axel picked up the bottle and held it up to the Superior, who shook his head and pushed it away. He tried burping him, but nothing came out. He reluctantly checked his diaper, bit it didn't need to be changed. If he wasn't hungry, he didn't have gas, and his diaper was dry, then what the hell did he need? I knew Axel was frustrated just by listening to him growl and curse under his breath. The man had no patience when it came to kids.

"Come on, stop crying!" He ordered. "Where's the off button on this thing?"

"Stop yelling at him!" I yelled.

"He won't stop crying!"

"He might have had a bad dream. Try rocking him back to sleep."

When he asked me how, I gave him very simple instructions to follow. He did as I instructed and cradled the infant gently in his arms, rocking him back and forth slowly. I told him a lullaby also helped, and gave him a specific one to sing to him. At first he didn't want to sing, and gave me a look that said "What, are you crazy?" when I told him to do it.

"Do you want him to stop crying, or not?"

He sang the lullaby, although he was reluctant to do so, and, lo and behold, the Superior slowly fell back to sleep. Axel made sure he was sleeping, and put him back in his crib, putting the blanket over him as he cuddled up to his plush heart.

"Ugh…Thank Kingdom Hearts…" He sighed. "Now I can get back to sleep…"

I tiredly rolled my eyes as he got back into bed. I felt his arms wrap around my waist as he pulled me close to him, and my back was flush against his chest. If it was any other day, I would have pushed him away and told him to stay on his own damn side, but tonight I was too tired. He buried his face in my hair and took a deep breath, and I could feel him smiling faintly against the back of my head.

"You smell like vanilla…" He sighed. I would have taken it as a compliment, until he continued, "It's sexy.."

I would have to hit him for that in the morning.

Right now, I was more concerned with getting back to sleep.

…

…