Guess what!? Insomnia! This was actually kind of fun to write since I'm so burnt out from work, Jury Duty (Fucking bullshit) and just the general 94 degrees fahrenheit it has been the past week. So yeah, short, but it's something yeah? Anyway, love you guys, please enjoy!
The Lady Potter, Lord Black, and Lady Malfoy, all sat around the worn oak table in their room above the Leaky Cauldron sipping beer, eating pizza, and exchanging stories.
"So anyway, Draco taunts Ron, again, may they eventually just get a room, and Ron yells 'Eat Slugs!' and his wand backfires and he goes flying backwards. I don't honestly know who was more shocked when Ron just starts spewing slugs out onto the pitch while everyone took a step back in horror. It was disgusting, but Draco, and Cissa I have to emphasize this was a one time thing getting me to laugh, stares down at him before muttering, 'Weasley, better in than out, didn't anyone ever tell you?'"
Sirius broke out laughing as Narcissa tittered behind the hand she brought up to cover her face while Harriet giggled to herself taking another bite out of her slice of pizza while calmly reflecting on what a weird day today had been.
That was even in comparison to the madness that had been her third year at Hogwarts.
After she and her friends had failed to catch Pettigrew during last school year, thank you Dementors you unholy undying fuckers, Harri and Sirius hadn't had all that much to laugh at.
This though? This...it made all the trials and tribulations they had to go through to become a real family seem at least somewhat worth it.
"Ok," Narcissa began, red cheeked and giggling after taking a sip from her bottle of Guinness, "This one time Andi and I kept hearing this moaning from the room above us in the middle of the night. Couldn't figure out what it could possibly be since father never stored any of the portraits in the attics and that was the only thing we could figure it could be. After a week or two of this Bella, completely sleep deprived and frustrated beyond words enters our room in the dead of night demanding we follow her to find out what the hell is going on."
Sirius groaned at that knowing exactly where this was going, Narcissa just chuckled in turn.
"So here we are, a thirteen year old, a ten year old, and an eight year old walk into one of the more ancient sealed off guest rooms. Only to find Aunt Cassiopeia *ahem*, pleasuring herself with a cucumber. We open the door and she just stares at us, we stare at her, and she quickly says, 'You saw nothing!' and we were all banished out of the room with one wave of her wand.
"Next day while we're all down in the kitchen for breakfast mum asks what we'd been up to last night, and Bella, sweet Circe Bella meets her gaze evenly and says in a completely deadpan tone 'We learned that finger food can be quite the literal term'."
Harri was vibrating with unrestrained amusement and soon fell on the floor cackling as Sirius pounded the table with his fist with roaring barks of laughter. Wiping his eyes clear he glanced out the window and let out a tired sigh.
"Damn it's late, think you're gonna have to head home soon Prissy." Narcissa sobered up quickly at that as she let out a tired sigh while glancing at the watch hanging off a dainty chain on her wrist.
"You're probably right Obnoxious, I'm already going to have to deal with some...unpleasantries tonight so best to just lance the boil so to speak." Glancing over to Harriet Narcissa rose from her seat and pulled the younger witch into a tight hug, "Talk to you tomorrow ok little one?"
"Ok Cissa, I had fun, and... thanks. The only other witch that ever really looked after me is my best friend and she doesn't really know any more about our world than I do. So really, thanks."
Narcissa smirked in return as she kissed the girls brow before turning towards the door, "It was my pleasure dear, now get some sleep."
As Narcissa left the room Harri slipped back into her makeshift wardrobe and changed into her sky blue cotton pajamas covered in flitting golden snitches and pouncing kneazles before crashing on her bed. A moment later a massive black dog landed beside her and she wrapped her arms around his neck holding the shaggy beast close.
Not a minute later both Godfather and daughter were fast asleep, dead to the world.
As Narcissa Malfoy flooed home she felt the enjoyment of the evening burn away as she prowled towards her bedchambers, a calm fury replacing her joyful calm as she came to a stop before the fine oaken doors.
Steeling herself she pushed her insecurities aside as she slammed the doors open and quickly encroached upon her husbands worktable causing said man pause.
She stared down at him for several seconds, then several more, eventually he began shifting about in discomfort and soon muttered out a greeting.
"Good evening Narcissa, I suspect that you had-"
She cut him off viciously, how could this man be so goddess damned foolhardy?!
"-Are you a fucking moron?"
Well as far as non sequiturs go...
Lucius was stunned at his wife vulgarity and it took him a moment to respond, "Narcissa I do not know that which you refer to but-"
Narcissa raised a hand, extended a finger, then pointed it at her husband, "Do you have any idea what a Horcrux is?"
Brows furrowing the blonde man tilted his head to the side a moment before shaking it slowly in a confused negative.
This only seemed to make matters worse as Narcissa walked away from him and began pacing whilst swearing in French. Eventually, she turned back to her husband and smiled darkly as she continued on.
"A Horcrux is a soul anchor, the end result of some very dark rituals that literally shatter one's soul and allow them to imbue the fragment into an inanimate object to keep them forever bound to the mortal plane. Broken and unredeemable yes, but functionally immortal."
Lucius paled at that as he gasped out, "That...that is...that is horrendous!"
"Indeed," Narcissa demurred as she continued to prowl about their room, soon she turned back to Lucius, her smile as warm as the fathomless empty void found between stars.
"You planted your Lord's horcrux on an eleven year old girl, who nearly had her soul devoured as she followed its orders to release a Basilisk in a school our son was attending. The only reason it didn't end in tragedy was because my protégé has functioning deductive reasoning and a suicidal urge to protect the innocent. So, you nearly killed our son , put every child of proper magical bearing in Britain at risk of death, and in turn very nearly consigned us all to a lifetime luxurious stay at Azkaban at best if you had been caught."
There was dead silence for a time, then eventually Lucius asked, "So...the couch?"
Narcissa snorted in disgust as she turned away from him, "Get a hotel room, I'm the Lady of this house now. I have no idea if I can ever forgive you for what you have done. Frankly, that is up to you, husband."
With that she waved dismissively and prowled out of the room, leaving a flabbergasted Lucius in her wake.