Yes.
N dreamed of trees. Of grass, wind. Smells. Sleep was always comforting, and the only place he felt-safe. That was wrong, wasn't it? He knew he was safe in his room, with his books, with Zorua. But every time he fell asleep and dreamed of flying, or driving a truck through water, or just running through grass, N woke up with a feeling of dread stabbing through his stomach. Because in the dreams, he could vividly see himself smiling, laughing, swimming through the water or flying through the sky. It felt good. He was content.
But when his eyes opened, his mind finally snapping back to reality, his room coming into view, Zorua's warm body breathing next to him, N wanted to cry. He hated himself for it, for preferring the life he had in his dreams over the life he had in his room. But it was always the same feeling, the feeling of the inevitable. The feeling that daddy would be back. He would barge through the door like he always did, slamming it behind him. There would be nowhere for N to run, there never was anywhere he could run. It was always the same.
Ghetsis's visits had become more frequent over the past several months. It had become routine, something N had to get used to. N found it was a lot easier to get used to seeing his daddy every other day, rather than having his possessions taken away from him. He looked forward to seeing Ghetsis, he did. Every time the door would open, he would greet daddy with a smile, even though his stomach hurt, it didn't matter because daddy was here.
Ghetsis's visits were predictable, something that was much easier to cope with than the random bouts of anger. As long as N listened and did as he was told, Ghetsis was nice to him. He had learned the hard way, but it had been beaten into him nonetheless.
If Ghetsis wanted his room spotless, N was happy to clean it. If he wanted Zorua shut up into the bathroom while he sat down on his son's bed and forced him to pull his pants down, N had no choice. If he wanted him to yank on that thing over and over and over again, N was to say "Yes sir" and comply without question. It hurt less to obey. Even with every fiber of his being telling him no, even when every part of him wanted to pause and to please, make this stop, N had no choice. It scared him at first, because it was change, and it was new. Very new. Something he couldn't understand, or wanted to understand, and it scared him every single time his daddy would throw his head back and moan again and again when N would pull on that thing. Not understanding why it was happening was just another way for N to cope. He didn't want to know what it meant, or why his daddy wanted him to do it every time he came into his room.
All N knew is that this was his schedule now, and when Ghetsis came in, N assumed position. He dropped whatever he was doing, greeted his daddy with a smile, and pulled his pants down to give him what he wanted.
As long as N complied, Ghetsis was stable. If N flinched or paused or even gave him a look that showed he was scared, N was beaten for it.
He knew it was because he was bad. Ghetsis had told him countless times before, "You're a bad boy, N. A very bad boy. I only hurt you because it's necessary for you to become king. You have to learn this. A good king, a good man knows what pain is. This is what Zorua went through, N. You're just like her now." Other times, his words weren't so nice. Ghetsis would scream, pick up books and slam them against the walls, tear the pages out, tell N how fucking stupid he was and how much he hated him, that he was an uncontrollable son, a nuisance, a burden.
The screams always hurt worse. Not physically, but Ghetsis might as well have punched him for it. At least the physical wounds would heal over time. The words stung like acid, though, and manifested in him. They never went away, not completely. N would hear them over and over again when he lie awake at night. It would hurt his stomach, make his heart pound in his ears and he would cry because it hurt so much, even though daddy hadn't hit him yet.
He was a burden. He was stupid. Daddy was disappointed in him, and N found that was worse than kicks or punches.
Other times, things were fine. Just fine. Not good or great, but not horrible or scary either. Sometimes, in between Ghetsis's visits, N just sat around in his room, reading his books and playing with Zorua. His room was large enough to allow both of them to run around, so he spent many hours when he was bored of his books playing chase.
It was fun. Just like in his dreams, he would smile, a genuine, happy smile when Zorua came up behind him when she caught him to paw at his leg. It was true happiness when he bent down and picked her up, held her against his chest and told her how much he loved her, over and over.
Just like before, N could hear a voice. 'I love you too.' Maybe it came from Zorua, maybe it was his imagination, but N hadn't cared for a long time. Because to be loved was all he wanted. Daddy never said it, though N was positive he loved him, it just wasn't daddy's personality. But hearing that soft voice when he lifted Zorua up, laughing, breathing hard from running, hugging onto her, it was the best feeling in the world. Even with her scars and the sight missing from one of her eyes, Zorua seemed more than happy to spend time with N in his room, so why shouldn't he be that happy too?
She was all he had. She was all the love he could have, or ever needed. When times were like this, happy, simple, fun, N could forget about daddy and the scary times he would come through the door.
This was N's schedule for a long time.
It was like time was in suspended animation, but yet N kept growing. He outgrew his shirts, his pants were showing his ankles, his hair was even longer now. Hair was growing in places he wasn't used to, and it scared him at first. Concordia assured him it was something all little boys went through, and that his voice would get deeper eventually as well. Like all new things, it was scary, but having someone there to assure him it was normal made it all better. N had to smile.
Everything that happened to him was normal. Being locked in his room, having his toys taken away, that happened to every little boy, didn't it? Or at least little boys who grew up to be kings like N would be one day.
The stories in his books were always happy. Little boys and girls were told by their mommies and daddies that they were loved, always loved. But N knew these were only fantasy books. Things like that didn't happen in real life. Not in his life, anyway.
But that was okay. Everything was okay. Zorua loved him very much, and N couldn't ask for more. It would be selfish.
If N was counting right, then it wouldn't be too long before he was 14. For his 12th birthday, Ghetsis had given him a clock and a calendar. N could finally tell time. Thanks to his math book, it became easy. It made him really happy to finally be able to tell time, and know what day it was. Even without a window to tell if it was dark or light, N didn't mind much anymore, because the clock always told him which time of day it was, whether he could see or not. It fascinated him, but mostly he was just grateful for it. He could finally do the simplest things like plan his day more accordingly. He could go to bed knowing what time it was, and wake up at the same time everyday. It made his world just a little less claustrophobic.
Now when he sat up in bed, smiling when he saw his clock read 7:00 AM, his lamp now refurbished with a brand new bulb that allowed him to read the calendar hanging on his wall with ease, N smiled because today was his birthday. His birthdays were always special, in some form or fashion, because something new would happen. While it made him a little scared, N couldn't dwell on that. Daddy always brought him something new, whether it was another book, or clothes, or something like his clock and calendar, and it always made him happy to get new things. N was given things because daddy cared about him, and wanted him to be smart when he grew up. Even though N was stupid and a nuisance and a burden, it was okay, because daddy loved him.
The past couple of years had been rather uncomfortable for N. With his body going through so many changes, it made him a little afraid when something would happen he couldn't control. But it was always assured and double assured to him that it was perfectly normal, that both girls and boys experienced changes with their bodies. And all it meant was that he was growing up. He wasn't a little boy anymore, and it made him smile to think about it. He still remembered being short, too short to touch the floor when he sat on the side of his bed, and now he was a lot taller, and still sprouting. Just like he wanted, N was getting taller and taller. Pretty soon, he would be as tall as daddy one day.
It was about 8:00 when N had finished his usual morning routine which involved washing his face, brushing his teeth, combing (or trying to comb) his hair and tying it back behind him, then making sure he had things like soap and shampoo in case he needed to tell Concordia or Anthea. It might've been stupid to anyone else, but having a set schedule and knowing what time it was really made a different to N. He loved setting himself tasks and following them on time. It made him feel organized and productive.
For the rest of the morning, N devoted himself to his books. Many, many books had been brought to him over the years, something he couldn't have been more grateful for, and his mornings were spent doing nothing but reading about everything. Maybe it was silly to think it now, but he couldn't imagine life with toys anymore. It seemed so childish, and he was happy his life was full of books instead. Zorua always curled up next to him as he studied, providing him with the warmth and comfort he was so used to.
Around noon, his door opened, the usual, predictable time Anthea would come in and give him a tray of food before leaving. His breakfast (or technically lunch) always consisted of the same thing: cereal. His growling stomach wasn't about to argue with the same thing everyday, though. Just as long as he had food, N didn't care what he ate. He did wish he got to drink more milk. When he was thirsty, he usually went into his bathroom and drank out of the sink.
Today, instead of just a bowl of soggy cereal set on the tray, there was a purple bottle next to it as well. Confused, N picked it up, turning it over to read the label. Shampoo? He had plenty of that right now, though.
Before he could question, Anthea spoke. "Your father asked me to bring that to you, my lord. He asks that when you take your bath today that you use that. He also asks that your room be cleaned and your books put away for his visit tonight."
Still confused, but not wanting to argue, N nodded, telling her thank you. When Anthea left, he popped open the bottle, forgetting his stomach was craving food right now. But why? Daddy always gave him shampoo that smelled like fruit. Like watermelon. It was the same thing all the time, why would he give him this? Maybe it was just another birthday present? Just more change, but N was more confused about it than anything. When he lifted it to his nose to smell, it was incredibly strong and made him cough. What a strange smell. He turned the bottle over to read the back and see what the fragrance was. Lavender? N had read about that flower in books. So this is what they smelled like. It was strong.
Why would daddy randomly change up his shampoo? Was it because he was growing up and this is what older people bathed with? The bottle was half-empty, which meant it had been used. But by whom?
The more he thought on it, the more it annoyed him when he couldn't think of a clear answer. Even after all this time, he still hadn't learned to just go with things. He always had to question something and ended up frustrating himself over nothing. Who cared if his shampoo was changed? As long as he complied and did whatever Ghetsis told him, N would not be beaten.
The rest of the afternoon was spent solely cleaning his room. It had gotten messy over the past week, and N still only cleaned when Ghetsis visited, despite having been told it should be clean whether or not he visited. But with a calendar now, N was able to predict when his father came in. It usually happened on weekends, a friday night, around 10. That's when he was supposed to pull his pants down and-
Shaking his head, the memories were blocked out as he organized his bookshelf. It was okay though. They weren't necessarily bad memories. It was only times when something new would happen, like Ghetsis would ask to be touched a certain way, and if N didn't meet Ghetsis's requirements, he was kicked and punched and screamed at until he did it right. That fell on N's shoulders though. It wasn't daddy's fault. It was always N's.
It took him about two hours to clean his room. Normally, it wouldn't take him this long, but having been told Ghetsis would be coming in tonight, N had to make extra certain his room was as clean as he could get it. Zorua sat on his bed the entire time, staring at him with her one good eye as he ran around frantically putting books in order, throwing away scrap paper and picking up clothes and such from his floor.
'Why are you cleaning so much?'
N turned to her as he dug through his closet for a set of clean clothes. Zorua didn't speak much, if this could be considered speaking, but N had stopped questioning it. Besides, when he answered, Zorua continued the conversation. It was nice when she would speak. Though it wasn't often, and he would never force her. "Today is my birthday. I'm turning 14, so Ghetsis wants to come tonight to give me something. It might be more books, or clothes." Pulling out a plain white t-shirt, N threw it to his bed to be worn for later, digging back through the closet for some pants. He was always picky about what he wore. His wardrobe was far from vast, but what he did have, he took excellent care of and was happy to wear the same outfits over and over.
Zorua cocked her head to the side. 'Will I be locked out again tonight?'
N felt a pang of guilt shoot through his stomach. "Um. Probably. Will-will you be okay in the bathroom?"
It seemed like it took forever for her to answer, so N continued doing small things around his room, always patiently awaiting her response. Maybe the long stretch of silence meant the conversation was over.
But then, 'I am afraid.'
That made N stop. Turning to her, he felt even more guilty when he sank down onto the bed beside her, staring at his feet. "I know you hate being locked in the bathroom, but it's the only place you can go. I'm sorry it has to be this way. I wish I could take you somewhere else."
Another long stretch of silence. Then, 'My owner liked to hit me a lot. She told me I was worthless and she could never win battles with me. I was always forced to battle pokemon much stronger than me, and it upset her until she lashed out.. I was abandoned in a forest until your Team Plasma picked me up and brought me here. The years I've spent with you in this room were some of the best. You were always kind.' N was in shock. He'd never heard Zorua speak so much and so clearly before. He stared, waiting patiently for her to continue. 'Seeing your father hit you reminds me of my owner. It is wrong, N.'
But. Her words struck a nerve in him. No, no, no, she was wrong. "No." Grabbing a fistful of his blanket, N tried to hold back the tears. "No, you don't know. I-I am loved, I am going to be king one day and-and h-he only does this because I'm bad. I'm bad and he has to hit me because I don't listen, but it's okay." He gave her a smile, but it was not genuine. "He loves me."
Silence filled the room once more. N wanted to say more, to make Zorua understand, but he couldn't think of what to say without repeating himself.
Zorua leaned her head against his arm, nudging him before sitting in his lap, staring at him with that one good eye. 'I love you, N. We have fun together. I would never hurt you. I want to protect you.'
Wrapping his arms around her, N let it out, crying into her, wishing he wasn't so weak like this, wishing his daddy never hit him or made him do that horrible thing every time he walked through the door.
N was tired. He just wanted this to be over. He wanted to go outside and see trees. It was his goal to travel far, far away from this place when he was let out of his room. He and Zorua would go away, where nobody could find them. Where daddy wouldn't find him. N loved his daddy, but then he hated what he made him do. N wanted to be a good son, he wanted daddy proud of him, he did. But daddy was never satisfied. Nothing N ever did was good enough. He would always, always do something wrong and be hit for it. No matter how many times N tried to convince himself daddy really loved him and that this was for his own good, he couldn't force his mind to cope with it, or block out the times daddy made him pull on that thing until he moaned, or when he would try to make him put his mouth over it-
No, he wanted to forget. To just make everything go away. Why couldn't he just sit back like a good boy and accept everything? Why couldn't he ever do what daddy wanted of him? N was a horrible son.
Zorua nudged his arm again, and N finally stopped crying. He was sorry, he was so sorry. As she stared at him, N stared back, wiping the tears away from his face before he spoke. "When I grow up and am allowed out of my room, I'm leaving. You're coming with me and we'll leave this place forever. And it'll be just you and me, Zorua. We can have fun all day long and-and we can be happy."
The part of him that tried to block everything out had shattered. N wanted to believe daddy loved him and did everything he did because of that excuse, but he knew the reality of it. The bottom line was that N didn't want to be hit anymore. He didn't want that sickening feeling poisoning his stomach every single time Ghetsis walked through the door. Pain was never something he could get used to, no matter how many times it happened, N could not ever hold back the tears and yelps he made.
He was tired of everything. This room, the clouds on the floor, the books he read over and over and over, the look Zorua gave him when she was shut up in the bathroom. This was it. N didn't want to do it anymore. But he had no choice, he knew that, he knew he had to keep fighting, and that he had to keep pleasing daddy. If that was the only way out of this room, N had to keep living this way until he could escape.
It was for Zorua, all for her. He'd never been more relieved or happy that he had her at that moment. She loved him, and he loved her, very much.
N would escape for her.
The scent in his hair was strong. The lavender shampoo his father gave him smelled good, but it made N nauseous. But, he had to do it for daddy.
With his room clean, his hair a little damp from his bath and that smell reaching his nose, N was ready. Zorua had been locked in the bathroom, the clock was ticking down the minutes. N sat on his bed, patiently waiting for the door to open. He hoped daddy would be pleased this time. Daddy was never pleased, but N had tried extra hard this time on everything. Even his posture was perfect as he waited.
Another minute rolled by on his clock before the door finally opened and N greeted Ghetsis with a smile. "Good evening, Ghetsis."
It seemed Ghetsis was already in a bad mood. He snapped at his son the moment his spoke. "How many times do I have to tell you not to address me unless I speak to you first?" Daddy had never said that, but N had to go along with it. Maybe he had in the past and N just forgot.
Nodding, N kept his smile. "I'm sorry."
Ghetsis slammed the door behind him before he crossed the room. It used to scare N, that loud noise, but not anymore.
"Your room is clean."
It was a statement, not a compliment, but N felt a little excitement rise anyway. If he could make daddy happy, he wouldn't be hit. "Yes sir."
Instead of standing in front of him for N to pull his pants down like he normally would, Ghetsis instead leaned down to him, reaching out to grab hold of N's chin and tilt his head up. This was new, he had never done this, but N was submissive. "Did you use the shampoo I gave you?"
"Yes sir."
And he smiled. Ghetsis never smiled, and it made N's heart race with fear. It was never a good sign when daddy smiled. "Good boy. Very good boy. Your pet is up?"
"Yes sir."
Now he stood before sitting on the bed next to N and wrapped his arms around him, making N grow stiff. Why was he doing this? N couldn't help but be afraid, especially since this broke his routine. Daddy always came in, N pulled on that thing, and he left. None of this ever happened, he rarely even talked. So why-
"You smell good."
That was a compliment, but N couldn't find it in himself to be flattered. Not while this was happening. He supposed that made him selfish, because daddy finally said something nice, but he was too afraid of what was going to happen next to think about it. What was he supposed to say? Nothing? This wasn't programmed into him yet. Not knowing what to do or think, N stayed silent.
Nuzzling his neck, Ghetsis breathed in the scent on his hair, making N's skin grow cold. All he had to do was be obedient and listen, but it was getting harder and harder to. He was scared. Daddy's lips brushed against his neck before he cupped them over it and sucked it. No, this was wrong-it was-what was N supposed to do? Daddy had never done something like this. Nothing was said while his neck was sucked, and maybe that's what Ghetsis wanted. For him to be silent and let him do what he wished. If only it were that simple. N could tell, there was something he was supposed to do, but not knowing whether to question what it was or not was driving him insane.
He was pulled tighter into the hug, but he stayed still. This was uncomfortable, but he wasn't hurting. All Ghetsis seemed to be doing was kissing and sucking his neck, which confused N, but he never would understand why his daddy did the things he did.
But then his teeth sank into the nook of his neck and N couldn't help but yelp out, in both pain and surprise. He immediately wanted to kick himself for it, because daddy would hit him now. N was to never make a sound, but he had fucked it up. It felt like his heart was going to beat out of his chest when his father pushed away from him, staring him hard in the face.
N was in trouble. "I-I'm sorry."
"You know you aren't allowed to do that."
No, no, no, he was going to be beaten. N wanted to cry at the inevitable, but he would only be beaten harder for it. "Yes sir, I-I'm sorry. It won't happen again." Even though it was hopeless, N tried to make it better anyway. Anything, just anyway to soften the blow.
But there were no punches to his stomach, no kicks in his side or slaps on his face. Instead, daddy leaned forward, pulling N's face up with his hand, and kissed him on the lips. N didn't know what to think, or to do. His stomach hurt from the fear clogging it, and he wanted to vomit to purge all of the horrible feelings. This made him feel dirty, but he couldn't do anything about it.
Still, his instincts kicked in and he pushed away, forgetting he was supposed to be still. He was just determined to enrage daddy tonight it seemed. "I-"
And then he was slapped, his head lolling to the side from the force. It stung, it hurt, it always hurt, but N was not to show it. Daddy was mad now, if he wasn't before. "You should know better than to push away from me like that."
N's eyes were glued to the clouds on his floor. He hated eye contact, and he was at least grateful Ghetsis didn't force him to look him in the eye during things like this. "Y-yes sir. I'm sorry, I-"
Again, Ghetsis pulled him toward him, crushing their mouths together again. Every single cell in his brain was screaming at him to get away, to survive, because it was instinct to run from danger, to scream from terror and to hide somewhere safe. N couldn't help the little grunts he made as he tried to breathe, or when Ghetsis ran his fingers through his hair, yanking on it. N had to swallow down the urge to cry out. It helped when he bit his tongue, but he obviously couldn't do that now. It's like Ghetsis wanted him to cry out. Or maybe he was testing him, seeing how tolerate he could be. Either way, N made damn sure he didn't make a sound, even when daddy shoved his tongue through his mouth, licking at his teeth and trying to get N to engage in the activity with him.
Finally, Ghetsis pulled back, only to say, "When I go into your mouth like that, you do the same," before N was forced back into a kiss. This time when Ghetsis pushed his tongue through, N obeyed, doing the same. It felt dirty. More dirty than yanking on that thing. It was wet and gross. But Ghetsis seemed pleased. The kiss was sloppy and rough and N felt so, so dirty, but he thought of Zorua and growing up, seeing trees, stepping through grass, smelling flowers (not the lavender one, it was too strong for him), and running around with his pokemon. It helped to think of happy things.
Before long, Ghetsis had maneuvered his body over N, until N was lying down on his bed now with his daddy above him, still kissing and pausing only to breathe. The kiss felt like it lasted forever until Ghetsis finally moved away, instead aiming for N's neck, sucking down on it again. Expecting another bite, N held his breathe, stiff, waiting for this to be over. Through all of this, he never stopped wondering why his daddy wanted this. What did he gain from it? What did it even mean? Why was N the one he did this to and not someone like Anthea or Concordia? It didn't make sense, but N was never allowed to question his daddy out loud. He never quit hating this, even though he had stopped lying to himself and telling himself that daddy loved him, he knew that was a big fat lie. Daddies didn't do this to their sons. It had to mean he hated him. It was the only reason N could think of. The only thing N had been promised through it all was to be let out and to be made king of Team Plasma, of this castle, of his father.
N didn't want any of that anymore. He didn't care about being king, or even ruling over someone like his father. He just wanted to leave with Zorua and live a simple life. Even if he were king, he would still be with Ghetsis. And N wanted as far away from him as he could physically and mentally get.
His father's teeth nipped at his neck, but N expected it this time and was able to hold in any noise he wanted to make. When would this be over? Ghetsis was certainly taking his time. Why couldn't he just stick to the routine and let N go ahead and yank on him until he was happy? N was tired of being afraid.
The kissing and sucking finally stopped and Ghetsis leaned back. Throughout the ordeal, N hadn't noticed, but Ghetsis was now straddling him. It made N feel very trapped. Yet he bit down the fear. Think of Zorua, think of her, think of leaving.
"You're being a good boy, N." As he said it, he leaned down to kiss N's cheek again, making him shudder. "You know what today is, don't you?"
N stared at the ceiling as he spoke. "Yes sir. Today is my birthday."
"How old are you?"
"I am 14."
"N, are you afraid of me?"
It was so unexpected, it made N jerk his gaze away from the ceiling and he looked Ghetsis in the eye. Of course he was afraid, but he knew what Ghetsis wanted to hear. But he couldn't force himself to smile anymore. It hurt to fake that stupid smile. "No sir."
"Really." And it wasn't a question this time. N stayed still as Ghetsis fiddled with the hem of his shirt. The room felt cold. "You know, N, I've been such a giving father to you. I gave you a room to yourself, a large room I might add. And I filled this room with toys for you when you were little. As you grew older, I began filling it with more age-appropriate things, things for you to learn from, so that you could be wise when you reach adulthood." N's pants were unzipped. He couldn't breathe. "I've given you so much, do you understand how lucky you are to have everything that you have, N?"
"Y-yes sir." Butterflies grew in his stomach until he wanted to vomit again.
With a smile, Ghetsis pulled N's pants off, tossing them to the floor. "If you scream, I'll break your arm."
Fear shot through N like a bullet at the statement, his stomach churning until he could feel the bile rise, but he didn't say anything. He didn't understand, but he didn't want to right now. As always, he just wanted daddy to leave.
Ghetsis pulled his pants down, and N saw that horrible thing he was so used to pulling on. It was already hard, and it terrified him. What did it mean? He just-he couldn't breathe, he couldn't breathe, N was going to die this time, he knew it. Please, please- Not other moment was wasted as Ghetsis lifted N up by his legs, no preparation, no soothing words, nothing, and shoved it inside him.
The warning from before was forgotten. N screamed. Louder than any of the times he cried out from being hit, louder than when he fell and scraped his knee, or wasn't paying attention and slammed his arm into a wall, bruising it. He had to be dying, he knew it! Ghetsis was killing him, he had to be-there was no other way to explain what was happening.
It hurt, and N cried. Reaching up to cover his face, he suddenly remembered the warning, and in his hysteria, he wanted even a shred of mercy from his daddy. If he hid his face, he was invisible, he was away, and Ghetsis couldn't hurt him. But it was all stupid and fantasy. The reality was the pain below him, cutting him, tearing his insides, and the smell of lavender from his hair was overpowered by the smell of blood. It felt like daddy was ripping his body in half, but N couldn't think when the thing was pulled out, only shoved back in, even harder than the first time, or that could've been N's imagination. He was already torn, of course it hurt worse.
And he couldn't help it. It felt like he couldn't breathe and he wanted to live. To live for Zorua. "DADDY! DADDY, PLEASE! I-I'M SORRY, I'M SORRY!"
Ghetsis only gripped his legs harder, digging his nails into them, but N could ignore that. All of his attention was focused on that thing being pulled in and out, in and out. Ghetsis said nothing.
Trees, grass, warm sweet air, N and Zorua playing in a forest, smelling of flowers and playing hide and seek. Those were usually the things N would think of to block out the horror of his reality. But there was only blackness as he closed his eyes, his hands covering his face in shame and fear.
From the other side of the room, he could faintly hear scratching against his bathroom door as Zorua frantically tried to claw her way out.
It was no good. They were both trapped.
But this-N couldn't take it. It hurt too much, he couldn't. Do it. No, he didn't want to die, he had to save himself! Escape, he had to run, somehow, he had to get away, o-or else he was going to bleed and die.
It didn't hurt so much anymore, not with his blood lubing Ghetsis. The sliding motions went more smoothly, and N was able to compose himself long enough to open his eyes.
Daddy was shoving that thing in and out, in and out of him, and it felt like it hurt worse to watch. Ghetsis's eyes were closed in concentration and N had to take the opportunity to catch him off guard. He had to run. He had to.
The door. It was all he could think of. Pain had risen his adrenaline, and N felt more empowered, so this had to work. When Ghetsis pulled out again, N took all of the force he could muster in his body and reared his leg back, kicking his daddy off of him with the ball end of his foot.
It worked. He must've hit him in the chest because Ghetsis stumbled backward, coughing and holding his hand to the area N had kicked. Even through his pain, N was driven on fear, and leaped out of the bed, wanting away. Blood dribbled down his legs, but all he could concentrate on was making it to his door. Never had he run so fast before in his life. Moving made him hurt worse, but he had to run! He had to live!
Coughing and gasping, N reached his bedroom door and gripped the handle with his shaking hand, trying to turn it. Then something slammed into the side of his head, knocking him down to the floor where he screamed.
Ghetsis towered over him and N choked on his sobs before his daddy yanked him up by his hair, dragging him back to the bed. He had fucked up. Oh god, daddy was angry, why did he do that? Why was he so stupid? With his head pounding, N tried to breathe through his sobs. He was still bleeding and he knew it was about to happen again. "Daddy, please! Please, please! I-I'm sorry, I'm sorry, it hurts!"
His pleading only made Ghetsis more angry. Once he reached the bed, N was pushed back down, his father straddling him once again, taking both hands and punching, slapping, clawing at every part of N's body. N held his hands up to his face protectively, but Ghetsis pulled them back, slapping his face for it. "YOU LIAR!" More punches, slaps, a smack to his face that busted N's lip open and blood dripped down his face. "YOU FUCKING LIAR, YOU SAID YOU WEREN'T AFRAID!"
N could only scream back, wishing it would stop. Everything hurt. "I'M SORRY, DADDY, I-!" But the punch to his face silenced him.
Then everything stopped until they were both breathing hard, N's breathing more broken and stifled. Was he finally going to die? He wished he would, if only to end everything. Let daddy kill him, N didn't care anymore. He wanted to give up so that everything would be over. The trees and grass and Zorua and leaving seemed so impossible now. Maybe it was always just a dream. Dreams were happy. Reality wasn't.
The blood tasted familiar in his mouth. Metallic.
Ghetsis spoke, his voice slightly hoarse from yelling. "You're such a fucking disappointment, N. You're selfish, too. I give you everything, I'm training you to be king and you refuse to accept my help. Well, I'm not helping you anymore. If you want to be a spoiled brat and have things your way, then so be it." Reaching down to the floor, Ghetsis brought back up N's discarded pants from before. "I really am too nice to you, N." Leaning forward, he nabbed N's wrists before winding the fabric around them. N wished he couldn't feel. Let Ghetsis do whatever he wanted, N just didn't want to feel it anymore. "Lie back down."
And N wasn't going to cross him twice. Learning from his mistake, he submitted everything this time. Even if it hurt, he was being punished for running away. Why had he done that? God, he was so stupid. No wonder daddy hated him.
Again, he felt that piercing pain shoot up inside him when daddy shoved back into him. This time, N took his bound wrists and moved them to his chest, gripping his shirt and digging his nails into it. He wanted to scream, but bit his tongue, tiny grunts hissing through his teeth.
With every shove into him, N would bite his tongue and grip his shirt as tight as he could. Tears fell down his face, but he couldn't feel them. But he could think of the future this time. A future without-this.
In out, in out, Ghetsis began panting harder and harder with every thrust. It felt like it lasted forever and N wanted to die, but Ghetsis finally let out a loud grunt and N winced when he pulled out, something warm oozing out of him. It made him feel gross.
Ghetsis moved himself from over N, sitting on the edge of the bed and pulling his pants up. N was grateful the entire thing was finally over, but then he knew what was about to happen also and it made the bile rise again in his throat and his stomach feel like it caved inwards.
"I told you not to scream, didn't I?"
Please, please, N wanted to die, he wanted- "Yes sir."
"And you ran away. And you kicked me."
Please, just leave, leave him be. "Yes sir."
With that said, Ghetsis turned back toward N who was still lying down, staring off into the distance. There was no more future in his mind. Only a darkened room lit by a lamp, clouds on the floor, and his daddy pulling him up, untying his wrists before he grabbed his left arm, squeezing it.
"You should be punished more for that stupid stunt you pulled, but I'm willing to let it slide. I'm not going back on my word, however. I told you not to scream and you deliberately disobeyed me. I really am too nice to you, N." His arm was squeezed harder and then twisted until N heard a crack, and he couldn't even cry anymore. Daddy was so strong, it was insane. His breath was knocked from him and he finally saw black.
There was a meadow filled with flowers. N and Zorua played chase until they couldn't run anymore. The flowers smelled good.
N was happy.
Always happy to get reviews. Killed myself getting this thing out today. Hur, let's see how much more fucked up I can make this.