Heart Of A Dragon

Author: Nightstar Fury from Nightstar Productions.

Rated:Mfor Mature.

Pairing:[Toothless/Hiccup].

Disclaimer:I do not own Dreamworks Dragons or How To Train Your Dragon.

4; Starts With Goodbye.

Astrid couldn't believe what she heard Hiccup just say to his father, to the entire village in fact. He straight up lied to them about what happened, he only told them they broke up because it was mutual choice. He didn't mention that he had proposed and she left him because she never loved him, that she only pretended because she felt bad for him losing his leg and almost his life that she couldn't bring herself to tell him the truth. Why had he lied? That wasn't like Hiccup at all. Astrid didn't understand any of it. Most of the village was in shock, but not as shocked as 3 people in particular and those 3 happened to be Stoick, Cuyler, and Helga.

Hiccup kept a stern look in his eyes as his arms stayed crossed over his chest looking at his father, and ex's parents who were riddled with confusion over the matter. Toothless too was confused, he knew Hiccup. He knew him well and being a dragon he knew something wasn't right here. Hiccup cried earlier, he threw the ring in to the sea without a second thought. There was much more going on than just a mutual break up, and he was going to find out. For now, he knew Hiccup just needed support and Toothless was the best at that job.

"Alright, I must still be sleeping. Can you run that by me again, Hiccup?" Stoick asked finally shaking the shock.

Hiccup rolled his eyes now. He was still in a great deal of pain, being this close to Astrid wasn't making it any easier for him to get away to think about things which is all he wanted to do right now. Another thing on his mind was why he was covering for her, he knew why but didn't understand why it mattered to him. This was Astrid's doing and she should face the consequences for it. But Hiccup was not that the kind of man who sought revenge on someone who hurt him. Not even with Alvin or Dagur who were just as deserving of it, Hiccup always just did what he had to and let it go.

Granted with Astrid and this obscene break up, it was going to be anything but easy to let go of. Learning the girl you have loved for years, turns around and tells you that she never loved you at all, that it was all an act because she felt bad for you was not something you just got over. And to boot, literally, Astrid said she could never love someone who wasn't all there, who wasn't complete. Meaning she couldn't love him because he was missing his left leg, and lost it because he fought a battle to end the war between Vikings and Dragons. His life was spared by Toothless, but lost his leg in order to have that life spared.

It still made no sense to Hiccup why something like this would bother Astrid. Hiccup risked his life for her, for the whole village fighting the Red Death. How did someone, recover from being told that they weren't man enough because they lost a limb? Astrid couldn't love him because she felt he wasn't enough without his leg. Did that mean he would never be enough for anyone? Would anyone ever love him just because it was him, love him for who he was? Hiccup sighed as he went to respond to his father now. "I said. Astrid and I broke up. On mutual terms. It just...wasn't working for us and we...didn't want the same things." Hiccup lied. Although it wasn't far from the truth.

Toothless caught that one, that was a lie. Hiccup had been ecstatic to propose to Astrid tonight, he talked about it all day. How did it go from that excitement to a mutual break up? Toothless didn't understand but he did know that his friend was lying, it was in his voice. "You were...supposed to..." Cuyler began now trying to figure things out himself.

"Alright, its late and this is clearly not a conversation for everyone. Cuyler, Helga, Astrid, Hiccup...to my house. Everyone else, back to your homes. Nothing to see here..." Stoick ordered with a sigh. Though people were curious they dispersed and the people who Stoick named off began walking towards Stoick's house. Hiccup had a feeling he wasn't getting any sleep tonight, none of them would be. Toothless followed beside Hiccup quietly trying to read his facial expression, and eyes. They weren't normal for Hiccup who was usually always smiling and happy, eyes full of life and adventure. No these eyes of his auburn haired friend were cold, and distant. His face was emotionless to say the least.

(Stoick's House)

They were all seated at the table, the fire going to keep everyone warm and the parents were just waiting for some form of explanation. Hiccup was getting tired of the silence and Astrid clearly wasn't saying anything, it bothered him because he felt she had plenty to say before. His eyes searched her face, she looked upset, nervous and above all guilty. Hiccup scoffed, good. She should feel bad about what she did to him. Hiccup sighed now. "This meeting wasn't necessary dad. We broke up, that's all there is to it." Hiccup stated.

"Hiccup, this is very necessary. 24 hours ago you were beyond thrilled about..." Stoick trailed off not knowing if Astrid knew.

"She knows about the marriage contract." Hiccup informed him.

"Did she say no, and that started the argument?" Helga, Astrid's mom asked curiously.

"No...in fact she said yes when I asked her to marry me." Hiccup began, Astrid looked at him quickly. He was lying again, she wanted to know why to but for now she'd just have to listen.

"Then why the break up?..." Stoick asked looking at the two of them.

"Because we wanted different things. And it started a fight, when we realized that no matter what we did or said, we couldn't find a solution so we decided to save us both the heartache of going through we an engagement and wedding where we'd be miserable and fighting...we just ended it." Hiccup explained as calmly as he could.

"What things did you want? Maybe we help find a solution for it and you two can get back together?" Cuyler offered as Stoick and Helga nodded in agreement. Great, now what did he say. The truth? Astrid didn't want to be with him because he was legless, wasn't man enough for her? He inwardly grumbled to himself.

"I'd rather not revisit the argument if its all the same to you." Hiccup crossed his arms over his chest again.

"Well we do. Astrid, you tell us. What happened?" Stoick asked, she froze almost not knowing what to say. Before she could start, Hiccup stepped forward again taking her by surprise.

"I told her I was going to become chief of the village in a year after completing the training with my father, I told her no one was supposed to know so she had to keep it a secret until a year passed. Then she got upset because she knew it would involve me being busy all the time. She didn't want me to become the chief because I wouldn't have time for her or any kids we had and she refused to be the wife who just sat at home with the kids all day and never getting to go out and be herself as shield maiden. It turned in to an argument that we wouldn't have kids, that I was choosing the village over her, and me just wanting us to be happy with her, that we'd find a way when the time came. But we both knew that no matter what happened...it wouldn't work so agreed to end things." Hiccup jumped in now.

"Hiccup I told you no one was supposed to know about that." Stoick sighed.

"Sorry..." Hiccup mumbled.

"So you two ended your relationship of 3 years over such a little thing? There were ways to make it work. Come get back together now, we can help you figure it out." Helga offered.

"No. Our decision is final...We've been fighting a lot either way, we just never showed it around you guys...We'd been...thinking about breaking up anyway...Things just haven't been the same as they used to be and neither of us were happy. Don't get me wrong...I appreciate you guys going through the marriage contract steps for us...but Astrid and I can't lie to ourselves anymore. We...aren't happy together and us getting married just means a life of more fighting and pain for both. That's not fair to her, me, or any kids we would of had...so we decided to break up...take some time apart then slowly just...work on getting our friendship back so it wasn't ruined by being in a relationship that failed...I'm sorry things didn't work out..." Hiccup began as his eyes fell on Astrid now, "And the last 3 years with her...will be something I never forget or regret...but we simply can't keep doing this to ourselves." Hiccup said watching Astrid's eyes widen with a bit of shock.

"W–well I suppose if...there's nothing that can be done to change your minds...Then we have to accept it. Astrid, are you okay with all of this? We haven't seen you until now...where have you been?" Cuyler asked calmly.

"I–I was just sitting on the roof with Stormfly...thinking about the...good times with Hiccup..." Astrid said lowly.

"But there were to many bad that outweighed the good...so we did what we felt was best for us. And like I said before in the square...I'm sorry that I couldn't be all you needed me to be for you...And I hope you find happiness elsewhere..." Hiccup said as nicely as he could manage. He just wanted to get out, he felt sick to his stomach. He just wanted to leave. He was to close for comfort to the girl who just broke his heart.

"I–I hope you do too, Hiccup...I really...do." Astrid replied softly. "We made a mutual choice to end things...and hopefully...our relationship hasn't damaged the friendship we had...and can get it back after some time apart..." Astrid added.

"Now you know everything so can we just end this night...As Astrid said...we need our time apart..." Hiccup stated.

"Of course. Cuyler, Helga, Astrid...Goodnight." Stoick said with a nod. Hiccup was already out the door walking down the path again. Astrid had to know the truth, why Hiccup lied in there and covered up what really happened.

"Just...give me a minute. There's...something I forgot to do." Astrid said as she quickly rushed out after him. "Hiccup!...Wait..." Astrid called to him panting. Hiccup reluctantly stopped as she caught up to him.

"What do you want." His voice was cold towards her.

"I–I know...I have no right...to ask..." She was forced to take a step back when Hiccup faced her with angry green orbs.

"You're damn right you have right to ask anything of me!" Hiccup spat out hatefully to her, she winced a bit at his anger. "But go ahead...There isn't much else you can say to hurt me right now..." Hiccup stated.

"I–I just wanted...to know w–why you...lied to them...a–about...what happened between us?" Astrid asked softly.

"Because of something my father told me the night he told me he and your parents were working on a marriage contract for us. And regardless of how much you hurt me tonight...I'm not the kind of guy who gets revenge. As future chief its my duty to protect the people, even the ones I dislike for personal reasons that I am choosing to push aside for the sake of the village..." Hiccup retorted with his arms over his chest looking at her now.

"I–I had no idea...you were in training to be chief...Th–that's...really good for you..." Astrid said trying to lighten the mood but Hiccup already saw what she was doing.

"Enough, Astrid. I know what you're doing and I don't appreciate it. Don't think what I said in there changes anything between us...Yes we broke up. That is it. Everything else I said about taking some time apart and working on our friendship was just a lie. I thought you of all people would recognize one...you after all pulled off the biggest, record of 3 years. Hope that makes you feel good about yourself." Hiccup scoffed angrily.

"Hiccup I didn't want things to be this way...I know I was wrong for hiding it for so long...but I couldn't bring myself to tell you before now..." Astrid felt tears forming now.

"I don't care. Gods, I just don't care anymore, Astrid. Things did turn out this way, you did hide it, and you chose to do it all. Everything has been a choice and you made yours. Now I've made mine. I meant what I said in the cove...Stay away from me. I nearly threw up in my dad's house being so close to you, how sick I felt being next to someone who lied for 3 years because she chose too. Being near someone who can't love me because I lost my leg and now I'm not enough man for her." Hiccup growled out.

"Hiccup...don't say it like that..." Astrid pleaded.

"That's how it is, Astrid! You said it yourself. You don't love me, and you never have. It was all an act, you couldn't love someone who isn't all there because it freaks you out. To you, I'm not complete. I'm damaged emotionally and physically and the shield maiden of Berk doesn't want damaged goods. Don't worry...I get it...Now will you please...just get away from me. Because every moment longer I'm near you makes me sick to my stomach to know I loved someone for so long...who only acted like she cared because she felt guilty for being a complete bitch to me over the years, and when he showed what he could do, to end a war and unite dragons and Vikings...that she had to fake her love so my sacrifice wasn't meaningless!" Hiccup glared hard at her.

"I'm sorry...I'm so sorry, Hiccup..." Astrid sobbed as Hiccup turned from her with his fists clenched tightly again, he took a breath to calm himself down before releasing his fists at his sides.

"And just so you know. The reason I lied in there was for your family. Because old Viking laws states that a female child was the responsibility of her family until she reached an age to marry, for the Viking culture this would be around 17-19 in our traditions. The young woman was regarded as a possession of the family as she hit the cusp of adulthood. The reputation of the teenage girl had an effect on the reputation of her kinsmen, if the Viking maiden wronged someone, she would be shamed and bring shame upon her family for her actions. Such things could start a blood feud between families..." Hiccup stated, Astrid looked up at him now. "Your parents are good people and have been friends with my family a long time...I'm not about to start a blood feud because you are a judgmental girl who left me because I'm half a man to her without my leg. I didn't lie for you, Astrid. I lied for them...you'd be viewed horribly for what you did to me, and that would be reflected on your parents. Believe me, I feel you should suffer for it by everyone knowing what you did... But my revenge would affect your parents and I don't wish them to have to suffer for your choices. My lie was for them, not you. It just happened to cover your sad, sorry ass because there was no way to protect them from being shamed unless I said what I did about it ending mutually. I just saved your family's name with my lie, and don't you ever forget that." Hiccup walked away from her, leaving her in complete shock of what he'd said.

(With Hiccup)

After he had walked away from her, he found himself sitting in the grass overlooking the sea again. Hiccup's hands hurt from punching the tree earlier, and his eyes and head hurt from crying. He wasn't ashamed that he had cried, he was deeply hurt by what Astrid did to him. But he did mean what he said to her, he didn't lie for her. He lied for her parents, so they wouldn't be shamed for her choice to leave him because he wasn't a whole man to her, and had never loved him just pretended too for 3 years. That would spark a fight in the village real fast and the Hofferson family name would be ruined because of her, and not to mention his father would break all ties would them. Cuyler and Stoick had been friends since before Hiccup was born and no matter how badly Hiccup hated what Astrid did, he wouldn't do that to his family or hers. They didn't deserve it.

He sat there the rest of the night until early morning when the sun started to rise, he knew his father and Toothless were probably worried about him but he didn't care right now. He was 18, and legally by Viking standards an adult and could do what he wanted. Hiccup sat silently watching the sun rise up, normally at this time he'd be woken up by an anxious Toothless to go flying, then they'd meet Astrid at the academy so Hiccup could spend some time with her before class started. Today would be the first of many where he had to get used to not seeing Astrid anymore.

Was he mad at her for what she did and said. Yes. Did he want her to stay away from him? Yes. Was he hurting? Deeply. Did he still love her? Absolutely. But clearly love wasn't enough or they'd still be together. Or maybe not since Astrid claimed to of never loved him because he wasn't enough man for her without his leg. Hiccup's eyes trailed to the metal leg attached to his calf and sighed out, a sound behind him made him close his eyes. He knew who it was already, Toothless.

"No I'm not okay, and no I don't want to talk about it bud..." Hiccup stated calmly.

"I knew you weren't and I wasn't going to ask you too. I just wanted you to know that I'm here for you if you need anything. Your dad and I are worried...you've been up since sunrise yesterday...You must be tired." Toothless stated softly as he came beside his friend and laid sat down beside him.

"I'll be fine...I've gone days without sleep before..." Hiccup sighed.

"Hiccup. You know that you're my best friend right?" Toothless asked him now.

"Yes I do and you are mine too bud..." Hiccup replied staring as the sky began to change from sunrise colors to the blue sky overhead.

"Then I say this because I care so much. I know the others bought your little story about the break up...but I didn't. I've been around you long enough to notice when you lie or hide something. Now I won't make you tell me the truth unless you want too...but I want you to just listen to what I have to say..." Toothless said, Hiccup looked down now and nodded to him. "Whatever happened between you and her, I don't care. I know that she hurt you with whatever it was. And that's not okay with me. I can't say I know how you are feeling, but I know that doing what you're doing now isn't good for you...And I don't want to see something happen to you because of this." Toothless informed him calmly.

"And what am I doing Toothless? I'm just sitting here..." Hiccup stated.

"You're upset about what happened. You're shutting down, shutting people who care out. You're not sleeping...and those chest pains earlier. I'm going to go out on a limb and say it's because of whatever she did to you. None of it is good Hiccup...and as your best friend. I'm telling you to stop it before it starts, this is only going to get harder before it gets better for you...you can't sit around and be upset she left...it's her loss for leaving you." Toothless put his wing over Hiccup now as if to hug him.

"You don't get it bud...I gave her everything. And she just...threw it away like it was nothing..." Hiccup closed his eyes now trying to fight back the tears that wanted to fall from his eyes.

"Ssh, just let it out...I won't judge you for it, Hiccup...Don't hold this inside, it will only make it worse..." Toothless tried to soothe him.

"I just...don't know how to deal with this pain bud...I've never felt pain like this before...and I can't just...cry here. I'm supposed to be the future chief of Berk...what are people going to think seeing me cry because Astrid left me...Especially when they think it was a mutual choice..." Hiccup put his hands over his face.

"So I was right...It wasn't a mutual choice to break up. She turned down the marriage proposal...and then broke up with you, didn't she?" Toothless asked. That was all it took, Hiccup started crying just like the night before. They were silent but the tears were falling from his eyes on to his brown arm armor. Toothless moved so he was behind Hiccup now and wrapped him in his wings so no one would see him. "Don't worry about everyone else, Hiccup...I'm sure no one is going to care but if it makes you feel better, you're safe in my wings. No one will see you crying...Just let it out and don't hold it in." Toothless told him gently.

This continued for 20 minutes before Hiccup stopped and stayed silent, as if he were deep in thought. Hiccup heard a squawk and looked up pushing Toothless's wing aside, he saw Astrid flying on Stormfly and the other rider with their dragons. Hiccup knew Toothless was right, he'd be okay with time but it'd take longer if he was here on Berk. The island was small and with Astrid riding on a dragon with their friends, he would always see her around and that would make it worse. "Toothless...Can I ask you a favor?" Hiccup asked slowly.

"Anything, Hiccup." Toothless replied looking down at him.

"Will you take me away from Berk? Not forever...I am still the next heir for the throne but...right now...I can't be here with her always around...I'll never be able to get over it. I don't care where we go, just somewhere far away where I can think and heal in peace...I need time away from here, from her...The more I see her, the more it hurts and I don't want to keep having these chest pains..." Hiccup said calmly.

"Go let your dad know. And I'll be waiting outside for you. And the academy needs to be aware, you're the head of it after all...You do that and we'll go." Toothless told him. Hiccup nodded as he got to his feet as the other riders came near him now smiling.

"I need to go talk to my dad, then I need to talk to all of you...Yes you too, Astrid. So meet me in the ring in 15 minutes..." Hiccup stated calmly as he got on Toothless's back and flew off to his father's house.

"You sure this is what you want to do, Hiccup?" Toothless asked him as they landed outside Stoick's house and Hiccup got off him.

"What choice do I have bud...I have to get over her...and I can't when she's always around me and this place just brings back memories that...right now, I can't deal. Its so hard to see myself without her, and when she left me I felt my heart shatter...But standing at this crossroad, I have to make this choice. So it's going to hurt, and I'm going to cry...and I'm going to have to find a way to get to the other side. Its going to break me down staying here...Its sad but sometimes moving on with the rest of your life...starts with goodbye." Hiccup said as he rubbed Toothless's head and then walked inside to talk to his father.