Warnings: slight AU, eating disorder, all that jazz. (I cba with the warnings ._.)

Maybe it's because it's their last year in Teikou. Maybe it's because Aomine's actually genuinely worried about Kise. Maybe there's no logical explanation for it, but be as it may, Aomine actually starts paying attention to his blonde team mate.

That proves to be rather difficult, what with the model constantly avoiding him and not showing up to practice. In fact, it feels more like Kise's an ex-team mate instead of an actual player in the Teikou basketball club.

And that pisses Aomine off to no end.

What the hell is the idiot blond thinking, just leaving like that?! And why does everyone else seem to know what's going on?

Aomine wants to understand what's happening. He wants to understand why Kise isn't there anymore, asking him to play one-on-one with him even though he never wins. He wants to understand why Kise seems thinner and thinner every time he catches a glimpse of the boy at school.

He really needs to understand but he can't. Why would Kise leave them? Why can't it just go back to the way it used to be when they were all together, laughing and having fun? Sure, he teased the blonde a lot and stuff but he never wanted to actually stop being friends with him or anything like that.

He also thinks about what Kuroko told him. That stuff about taking other people's feelings into consideration.

So feelings, huh. What Kise might feel. That makes him think about the conversation he had with Kise in the locker room.

(I know I'm ugly and disgusting but I also know that I want you!)

No matter how I look at it, it sure sounds an awful lot like a love confession. But that couldn't be, they've always been just friends and Aomine's pretty sure Kise's straight. Well, Aomine himself is, that's for sure. Still, what if…

What if Kise really meant he's in love with me? Aomine buries his face in his hands. When did the relationship between him and Kise get so complicated? So okay, let's assume Kise's in love with him. Could happen, they're young after all and Kise might just be finding his sexual identity.

But… that doesn't really explain why he's so skinny, does it? …fuck, I just don't get it…

For once, Aomine doesn't fall asleep after doing too much thinking.

In fact he doesn't sleep at all on many nights, the nagging worry about Kise keeping him up even when his body screams for rest.

When Aomine sees Kise by chance in the hall way, the whole world seems to stop for a moment. The blonde's smiling and talking to some girl as per usual, but it's all somehow off.

It's like the blonde is just a shadow of his old self. He's so thin Aomine swears he would break just from touching; his smile is like a mocking copy of the radiance of the smile that always seemed to light up the whole room. It's Kise, Aomine knows it, and yet it feels like someone entirely different.

Seeing Kise, the sunshine of the Generation of miracles, like that really clenches and twists at Aomine's heart. It fucking hurts.

No matter what, Aomine has to find out what's going on with the model. Otherwise he won't be able to sleep (and that is quite an achievement, considering he usually sleeps pretty much everywhere).

"Oi Satsuki!" After thinking about it some more, Aomine reaches the conclusion that he needs advice from someone who possibly has an idea what's going on with Kise. Akashi and Kuroko probably know the best but they're ruled out immediately – Akashi because Aomine's pretty sure that if he admitted to still not having figured out Kise's issue, the captain would kill him for real, and Kuroko because Aomine knows the bluenette wants him to figure it out on his own – so the next best person would be Momoi.

And okay, Midorima too but Aomine really doubts he would spill anything.

So Momoi it is. And that's just fine because he knows she'll understand how serious Aomine is about wanting to understand the situation and help Kise.

"…." The look of disappointment along with the pregnant silence is not the reaction Aomine expects. He doesn't back off, though, just repeats the question.

"You know what's been bugging Kise lately, right? So tell me. I hate being the only one who doesn't know anything." Momoi keeps regarding him with cold eyes and after a few minutes sighs.

"You really are dense, Dai-chan."

"Ha?"

"I'm sure Tetsu-kun and Akashi-kun have already talked to you about Ki-chan," Momoi says patiently, as if talking to a child.

Aomine frowns. "Yeah, but they never said exactly what was going on with him. Just that I should pay more attention to my surroundings. Which I have," he adds to defend himself. Because damn, he really has, but that hasn't helped any.

"I mean I figured out that Kise probably likes me…" (Momoi scoffs) "Okay, he likes me for sure and I get that it's awkward for him to be with me so he avoids me instead but what's with the sudden enthusiasm to lose weight? Come on, Satsuki, just tell me."

Momoi waves a hand, as if trying to bat away the stupidity in Aomine. She opens her mouth, then closes it again, and finally sighs, running fingers through her long hair.

"Ki-chan has a lot of pressure, being a model and all. He has to look good all the time, always be willing to smile for his fans, that kind of things."

"Well I can say that nowadays he doesn't look good at all."

The warning look Momoi gives him shuts Aomine up really quickly.

"Anyway, because of that, he already felt really stressed and everything but then…" Momoi tries to look for words. "This is going to sound really horrible but I think it would've been better if you two hadn't met, Dai-chan."

She has a pleading expression on her face as she turns her eyes up to Aomine, as if asking him to understand without her having to say the actual words. He just stands there, frozen by Momoi's words.

"People don't talk about it too much, because it's considered to be more of a girls' problem, but… guys can have eating disorders too. And it's not like it's your fault, it's just that…" Momoi trails off, looking extremely troubled and almost ready to cry. She opens her mouth but no words come out, just a strangled sob.

There are so many thoughts flying around in Aomine's head that it feels like his head will explode. So Kise has an eating disorder? What can he do about that? No, Momoi said something even more disturbing than that…

"…it's not my fault? But it would've been better if we'd never met? What the hell, Satsuki, just tell me! Does he think I'll start liking him if he loses weight or something?!"

Momoi flinches and presses her eyes closed. Suddenly her cheeks are wet with tears and she's screaming at Aomine.

"It's not like it's fun not to tell you, Dai-chan, but we all thought you'd figure it out sooner or later. I mean, even if you're not all that smart, it's been kind of obvious for a while now. But you just… you just wouldn't get it!" She pauses to draw a breath.

"And no, it's not your fault, but I'm pretty sure that falling for another guy just added to his stress level and then… I don't what he's thinking either but damn it, Dai-chan, he's always been really desperate to be accepted by you!"

Aomine can't even get his mouth open. All he can do is stare at his best friend who just can't stop crying anymore. Momoi hiccups, her face a mess.

"Ki-chan really needs help and support right now, he can't get through this by himself, so please Dai-chan…"

"…how the hell would I know what to do? It's not like I don't anything about eating disorders, or how to make someone eat again…!" Aomine buries his face in his hands. "Fuck, Kise… why would you do something like this…?"

Momoi tries to stop crying but to no avail, her whole body trembling with the force of her sobs. "I talked with his manager a couple of days ago and she said that they'd actually asked him to lose some weight last month…"

Aomine raises his head. "What? So it's their fault after all?"

"…eating disorders aren't anyone's fault, and I know Ki-chan didn't want this either. It won't be enough if you try to help him by yourself but…" Momoi pauses to swallow back some tears. "I mean, Ki-chan won't heal just because you tell him to start eating again but it's all we can do, you know? I'm willing to try anything to help him. Because I hate seeing Ki-chan like that. It's like he's not even himself anymore…"

Yeah, that's something Aomine can wholeheartedly agree to.

"Please, Dai-chan, go talk to him. Tell him you're okay with him liking you. Just make him feel accepted and ask him to come back to practice. There's got to be something we can do… like make him see a doctor or – or – I don't know, just talk to him, Dai-chan!"

After taking an eternity to get Momoi to calm down, Aomine walks her home. After somehow making it into his own house, he collapses on the bed and stares at the ceiling without really seeing it. He feels empty and weird, as if he wasn't really awake.

Time to do some more thinking.

Okay, so he's been quite certain that Kise does like him for a long time now, and he's surprisingly okay with that. They're friends and both guys but still, Kise liking him doesn't feel disgusting or anything like that.

But then comes the second thing, the real issue. Eating disorder. Of course Aomine's heard the words before, but what does it really mean?

Apparently it's not just about eating, it's about, well, everything. Kise's changed so much that even his closest friends barely recognise him. And yeah, Aomine really wants to help.

Then there's the fact that for some reason, Akashi, Kuroko and Momoi all think he's the one who can make a difference. But how? Just talking wouldn't help; besides, Aomine's never been so great with words to begin with, and he already screwed up once when he tried talking. Then again, back then he didn't even know what was wrong – trying to blindly fix a problem doesn't really work, does it?

Something Momoi mentioned in the conversation suddenly occurs to Aomine. Make him feel accepted, she said. Accepted, huh… so could this all be because he feels he isn't accepted? How could that be, he's a model with tonnes of fans for fuck's sake!

Knowing the name of Kise's problem doesn't make the situation any better; Aomine doesn't get much sleep that night either.

Here's how it starts.

Kise misses his footing in the stairs, and as he inevitably starts falling, a fascinating thought occurs to him. What if he never landed? What if he just floated through the air like the perfect being he was aiming to be?

But no, he isn't perfect. He's a failure with scars on his wrists (because that one time was nowhere near enough to punish him) and fat everywhere in his body so of course gravity would do its trick.

And as fate would have it, at the foot of the stairs is the one person he most definitely does not want to see right now.

Aomine.

The boy looks up just in time to see Kise falling towards him. His eyes widen but he spreads his arms, catching the model just as he very ungracefully loses the last of his balance and crashes down.

They both end up on the floor, Kise in Aomine's embrace and somehow unscathed. He scrambles free from Aomine's hold and jumps up, fully intending to just flee the scene and pretend it never happened; there are only a few students around and they seem relieved to see Kise didn't get hurt, already getting back to whatever they were doing before the whole tripping incident.

Kise's already taken a few steps away when his name is called.

"Oi, Kise. Wait."

He stops but doesn't turn around. "Aominecchi…?"

"Yeah, it's me. I still want to talk to you, believe it or not."

The blonde turns around to look at Aomine. He's smiling but there's nothing real about it. It's all forced and mechanical. "Okay, then talk."

In all honesty, Aomine doesn't feel like being nice to Kise. He wants to grab the boy's shoulders and shake him until he understands what he's doing to himself and all the people who care about him. He wants to force Kise to eat until he doesn't look like a bloody walking skeleton anymore.

But Kise's sick, he reminds himself. It's not like forcing him to eat would be a long-term solution. I have to get him to realise how sick he is and get him help.

"I liked you better when you were playing basketball and always challenging me to one-on-ones. But I do like you now too," he hurriedly adds. "It's just that… I haven't seen you lately and I feel like I don't know what's going on with you anymore."

Kise's still smiling but now there's definitely panic in his eyes. Aomine rushes to continue.

"So, just come back to practice, okay? We all miss you. You're an important teammate and a friend too." He breathes in slowly, preparing for the last thing he wants to say. "I don't hate you or think you're disgusting just because you like guys. So if there's ever anything you want to talk about, you can always come to me. I'll listen and do my best to help, I promise."

Talk is cheap, and Aomine doesn't really believe he can make a difference, but it's definitely worth a shot. Anything to get the old Kise back.

Kise doesn't respond in any way. He just stands there, that weird smile-like expression still stuck on his face.

"…Kise?"

"I'm okay with not coming to practice. We'll graduate and end up going our separate ways soon anyway, so why not just quit now and make it easier?" The smile finally disappears and is replaced with an expression Aomine's never seen on Kise before.

He looks so cold and uninterested, nothing like the puppy Kise who would cling to his teammates and always play with enthusiasm. No, this isn't Kise.

Why is this happening? Why can't he do anything?

"I miss you, Kise…"

"What? I'm right here."

"No, it's not the you I know." Aomine searches Kise's face for any kind of recognition of what he's talking about but there's nothing of the sort. Just that unfamiliar aloofness.

"What can I do to help? I don't anything about this kind of stuff and despite what everyone thinks, I can't do shit," Aomine groans in frustration. Kise blinks.

"But I'm fine, Aominecchi."

No you're not!

"…you really think that?"

Kise avoids Aomine's eyes as he mumbles a yes. But just that insecurity in his own words makes Aomine step forward and grab the model's arm. Kise flinches, trying to pull away.

"Look, I don't know what you see when you look into the mirror, but what I see when I look at you isn't what I'd like to see. I want the old Kise back, okay? I miss him a lot and I'm really worried about you. So really, if there's anything you want to talk about, just come to me."

Kise pulls away from Aomine again without a warning, causing the boy's hand to slide down his arm to his wrist. Aomine instinctively squeezes a bit harder, trying hard not to let Kise get away, not at all prepared for feeling something sticky on his fingers.

Confused, Aomine lets go to inspect his hand and Kise flees immediately.

Aomine doesn't really even register that though because the stickiness in his fingertips is…

"…blood?"

Well fuck.

(And doesn't the whole Aomine talking to Kise and the blonde running away feel like a repetition of that fuck-up of a conversation in the locker room?)

A/N: Okay so I'll be continuing this, as well as working on an AoKagaKise fic (the first chapter is already up in case you're interested). I just hope I won't disappoint anyone in the future. (man I wish I had confidence in my writing…)

sabaku-no-rosa: my sister had anorexia so I also know what it feels like to watch someone struggle with an eating disorder. And so, this story is partly derived from my own experience of dealing with someone with an eating disorder. Hopefully I'm not doing a shit job at that…?

Lastly, a song recommendation: We need to eat by Kent. (I got the title from this song so yeah, I hope you'll check it out). Incidentally the name of this chapter is also a song. I listened to it a lot while writing so I decided to tribute the chapter to it lol.

Feedback is welcome~