In Imladris- Chapter 4

Next chapter is up! My internet is holding on for now, thank the Valar.

Things come to a rather emotional head at the end of this chapter, and it will get a bit angsty :) Ah well, if you are reading this you probably want angst, so here you go!

The sun was just visible over the top of the valley as it sank down. The last rays slowly flickered and died, leaving the valley of Imladris dark.

Imagine, if you will, the woods in darkness, the leaves rustling slightly in a breeze, the clouds scudding across the sky. Slowly, the stars were veiled, and the woods became black.

Now imagine waking up in this darkness, high up in one of the dark trees.

Imagine the rustling leaves, and the faint dark shapes jumping out of the darkness.

Someone in that position, who had only just woken up, may forget where they are. They may forget that they are in the safe haven of Imladris. Instead, they may assume that they are home, in Mirkwood.

Assuming that, their thoughts may switch to the dangers surrounding them. They may reach for the knives that they always carried with them.

So what, I ask you, would be their reaction if they heard a rustle? A rustle that stood out against the sounds of nature. What would they do if they heard that noise?

Why, they would fall back on their instincts. They might reach for an arrow, or the knives strapped behind their quiver. And with that knife in hand, they may just drop from the branches onto the being that made that noise.

In a wood of darkness, you cannot afford to miss the mark.

0-o-0-o-0

Elladan and Elrohir moved through the woods, searching for Legolas. It was dark now, and although the twins were not worried, for they were in Imladris, they did not want to leave Legolas alone in the woods for the night. They wanted to talk to him, to help him.

Elladan looked around, about to call out for their friend again. They had been calling for him for a while now, but so far he hadn't appeared.

Elrohir muttered a curse his father would have been shocked to hear him say as he tripped over a tree root. He righted himself, but not before smashing his foot into a small shrub.

A lithe green shape dropped out of the branches, falling heavily onto Elrohir's back. Elrohir dropped to the floor under the body, and felt himself being rolled over. He tried to get up, but a knife pressed into his throat and he froze.

Legolas knelt on top of him, his silver eyes wide and unfocused. As Elladan reached them, Legolas jumped up and stumbled back in horror at what he had just done, his eyes clearing. The knife dropped from his shaking fingers as Elrohir stood up. Elladan joined his brother, reaching out with concern for Legolas. "Mellon-nin?" he asked uncertainly. "Legolas?"

Legolas kept backing away. What had he done? He had tried to attack his friend. He had pressed a knife to Elrohir's throat. He shook his head violently. "No" he whispered. "No. No. No."

Elrohir pressed forwards, grabbing hold of Legolas' arm. "Legolas!" he cried. "Legolas, mellon-nin!"

Legolas twisted out of Elrohir's grasp and spun around. Digging his heels in, he ran away from the twins, sprinting blindly through the forest. What had he done?

The twins exchanged horrified glances. Elladan reached out for Elrohir. "Are you alright?" he asked.

Elrohir nodded. "Just…shaken" he said. He looked around, suddenly realising Legolas was missing. "What do you think happened?"

Elladan shook his head. "I think he forgot…" he said slowly. "Being out here in the dark, he forgot he wasn't in Mirkwood. When he heard a noise, probably you, muindor-nin, he immediately thought danger, and attacked." Elladan shook his head. "I did not want to believe Thranduil's letter" he said slowly, "but now I fear for him as much as Adar does."

Elrohir glanced at the trees, in the direction Legolas had gone. "Adar said that he will need our help" he said. "We have to find him now. Before it is too late."

The twins turned and as one, ran through the darkening forest.

0-o-0-o-0

What had he done?

The water twisted around him, tugging at him as he strode further into the river.

He watched the current, his head hurting from the maelstrom of emotions swirling inside it.

Guilt. Grief. Fear. They circled his head, stabbing him again and again. He swayed as the water reached his waist. The numbness had vanished now, and it hurt.

He wasn't missing home. A sharp pang of guilt stabbed him again. Every time he had visited before, a part of him had still been wandering in the beech groves in is home. But not this time. This time, he could not feel that part of him. He did not know where it had gone. He did not know if it would come back.

He stepped further into the water. Was this what he was becoming? A bow and two knives, in service to a failing realm. He knew he was losing his spirit, his life, but he could not do anything about it. He barely had the strength to keep fighting now; how could he try and regain the parts of him he had lost?

The grief came back heavily, and he swayed where he stood in the rushing river. He had seen his patrol slaughtered, and had lain there in the mud, his blood mingling with the dirt. For a day he lay there, until he had been found. Until he had been returned to his father.

Why had be doing it for so long? Why had he been resisting, fighting back, for so long? It was not that he wanted his home to fall; just the thought of that made the grief and guilt stab heavier into him. It was just that the fall, the smothering of Mirkwood and all good places was inevitable. How could it not be inevitable? Everybody died. Everyone always died.

Elladan and Elrohir had just been trying to help, Legolas knew that now. But in his folly he had mistaken them for the dangers all too common in Mirkwood. He had forgotten he was in Imladris. He had let his years of training take over, and guilt swamped him once again.

And now he was here. Standing in a river. He had just attacked his friend; he had held a dagger to his throat. He should just go. He should leave.

Legolas took another tentative step into the river, the water rising around his chest.

0-o-0-o-0

Elladan and Elrohir raced through the woods, following the tracks of Legolas. For once, his light elven feet had dug into the ground, leaving shallow tracks.

Elladan's eyes widened as he realised Legolas, in his blind panic, was running for the river. He quickened his step, and burst out onto the bank.

Elrohir skidded to a stop behind him, his face paling in horror. Legolas stood out in the middle of the river, the swift water flowing around him. His hands trailed limply in the water, and his body was tugged by the current. As they watched, the river pulled him from his feet and pulled him under.

The twins rushed into the river. "Legolas!" Elladan screamed over the noise of the rushing water as he dove towards where his friend had fallen. He reached out, and managed to find a handful of sodden tunic beneath his fingers.

Elrohir joined him and together they heaved Legolas onto the bank. He shivered, his body pale from the time spent in the freezing river, and Elladan pulled him into his lap, sitting him upright and rubbing his back.

Legolas started to cough violently, the river water spurting from his mouth. Elrohir held onto him tightly as Elladan rubbed his back, and eventually Legolas quietened. He opened his silver eyes and looked up into the concerned faces of the twins.

His eyes widened in realisation, and he struggled to get away from them, pushing himself to his feet and backing away from them. Elladan and Elrohir got up, their hands held out in gestures of peace. "Legolas?" said Elrohir quietly. "Mellon-nin?"

Legolas shook his head, eyes wide and staring. "No" he whispered. "No, stay away from me. Keep away!"

"That's not going to happen" murmured Elladan. "We're not leaving you, Legolas. You need us."

Legolas kept backing up until he was standing against one of the trees near the bank. He was still shivering. "No" he said softly. "Saes, stay away. You don't understand."

Elrohir frowned. "Legolas, I think we do. We know what happened to you and-"

"You don't!" shouted Legolas. The twins jumped in surprise.

"You don't understand! How could you understand? Your home is safe, is protected. Mine is dying."

Legolas paused, his breaths coming short and sharp. "You have no idea what it feels like, watching your home die in front of your eyes! For so many years I kept thinking I could fight it, that I could do something to stop the shadow. But I can't!" He pressed back into the tree, his eyes wild. "I can't do anything! I fight as hard as I can and still they all die." His voice caught. "Everyone dies."

Elrohir moved forwards. "Legolas…"

"No, stay away!" Legolas cried. "I don't… I don't even…" He sagged back against the tree, his eyes dark and empty.

"My patrol died around me" he said. "I saw them die! All of them died. I lay there for a day, in the blood and the darkness. My father tried to help, but I…I didn't…"

"Every night" Legolas said softly. "Every night I see their faces. All those who died in that attack, all those that I failed. I can feel the same despair that finally found me that day. I can… I feel everything that I once stood for fading away." He looked up at Elladan and Elrohir. "Everything that kept me going through this bitter struggle is gone. All of it."

Elladan made to speak, but Legolas cut him off. "I know what you are going to say! Of course I know- I know what I am on the edge of. I feel everything slipping. All I am is two knives and a bow. A machine, serving a land that is going to fall despite everything I do. I know I am on the edge, but I can't do anything." His voice caught; he choked on his words. "It's all too much."

Elladan and Elrohir watched in horror as Legolas slumped against the tree, shaking uncontrollably. The blond elf looked up. "Saes" he murmured. "I…I don't know what to do."

He slipped forwards slightly and Elladan and Elrohir rushed forwards. Together they grabbed Legolas as he fell forwards and gently lowered him to the floor. Legolas was shivering, his face pale. Elrohir pulled him up and wrapped his arms around him.

"Just stay with us, Legolas" he murmured. "You just have to cling onto hope."

Legolas shivered in Elrohir's arms. "I'm so…I…" A tear rolled down his cheek and then, like the coming storm after the first drop of rain, he began to cry uncontrollably. Elrohir tightened his arms and Elladan shifted closer as Legolas finally broke down and wept in their arms.

To Be Continued...

Is that it for Legolas- is this him completely better?

I doubt it, or this would be a short fanfic. But things are beginning to turn around, and maybe get a little bit better. Next chapter will be up tomorrow, but I will be posting it later than usual (6pm UK time)