A/N: Own nothing.
The Depths of a Heart
'The tears that drift from my bewildered eyes, taste of bitter sweet romance, you're still in my hopes, you're still on my mind, even though I'll manage on my own…'- Only A Woman's Heart, trad.
The village was silent by the time Dana hit the old wooden gates that marked it from the road, the light from Parthizi Gallifreya showing it was near three in the morning. She was glad for the solitude, finally pushing back the stifling hood of her cape and shaking out her sweat soaked hair, the temperature a shock after the cold of Oighearcathair's summer. The cottage had never seemed so far away as Dana took step after painful step towards it. The dust from the road stained the base of her dress as it dragged helplessly at her feet, her thin slippers providing now protection from the bite of the gravely ground. She rubbed roughly at the tears that now and then fell onto her cheeks but she refused to let herself cry fully, instead she turned her upset to anger at both herself and the man who had caused her such misery. She looked down at her elegant dress and felt the bile rise in her throat, she had forgotten herself, she had let herself be dressed up like one of the masses, been flattered by the attentions of a man so far above her when he had no love for her, another heart for his collection it seemed.
The darkness of the cottage enveloped her as she stepped over the threshold, her father's absence marked but the number of books missing from the shelves that lined the hallway. She dropped her bag in the hallway and moved through the corridors into her bedroom, finding everything as neat as she had left it. She threw off the long cape she wore, letting it pool on the floor at her feet. The ornate dress soon followed, forgotten on the stone floor, at least some of her shame falling with it. She hurried over to the mirror, sitting down before it and wiping off the make up on her face with a handkerchief. She unfastened her mother's necklace and lay it reverently on the dresser next to the pins from her hair. She buried her face in her hands as she lay her elbows on the dresser top. She was glad of the distance between the cottage and the rest of the village as she was sure her sobs could be heard beyond the walls of the house. She longed for her father, longed for his comfort and support but she knew she could tell no one of her mistake, of her foolishness. She clutched at the thin cotton of her chemise, rocking herself in her despair. The room felt stiflingly close and she got to her feet.
She left her room and padded softly back towards the front door but her progress was halted as she heard the sound of a latch but it was not from the front. She pressed her back to the wall, trying to still her breathing as she heard the sound of heavy boots on the stones of the kitchen floor. She listened intently as the footsteps seemed to grow closer and then stop, trying to hear the sound of someone breathing to try to place them. She looked back the way she came and thought the window a better option than trying for the door. As slowly as she could she moved silently across the floor, her feet knowing the path better than her mind but she stopped once more as the footfalls echoed behind her. She stilled, adrenaline rushing her veins as she heard the breathing of her pursuer but her senses were caught by something else entirely, a familiar, warming scent.
The steps came towards her and she knew a second before feeling it the pressure of a hand on her shoulder. She refused to turn.
"How did you get here?"
"I'm a Time Lord and an explorer, do you really think I wouldn't have my own TARDIS?"
"I didn't hear the engines," said Dana feeling the other hand on her other shoulder.
"I set down a short way away, I didn't want you to hear," said Kay, "The child isn't mine Dana, Fira was wrong."
"Strangely I'm more inclined to believe her," said Dana, "I have no reason to doubt her but every reason to doubt you."
Kay sighed, his hands rubbing circles on her shoulders, "Temes did come to my house in the Capitol with her sister, she is the daughter of one of those who work in my household and she wanted to see the sights of the Capitol. She fell pregnant while she was there but it was not my child though for my shame it is my fault the father was never recognized."
"I don't understand."
"Habta," said Kay sadly, "Habta was her child's father but he was already married and I couldn't…I kept her hidden, I made provisions for the child on the promise that she would never reveal my son's name to anyone. I visit, on occasion, my grandchild and I take him gifts as I would any of my kin and this has brought the stories. So you see I am guilty Dana for bringing that girl into my house but not for leaving her with-child."
Dana turned to him and took his face in her hands, "Let me look at you," she said, "Let me see your eyes."
Kay looked down on her, willing her to see the truth. He didn't release her gaze as he felt her take his hand from her shoulder and bring it to her head, she pressed his fingers to her temple, her eyes imploring.
"Let me see," she said closing her eyes as she increased the pressure of her hand against his. She stiffened as she felt his other hand come to her temple, his forefingers pressing against the delicate points. She felt no fear, only apprehension, as he began to slip into her mind. Her father had shown her once how Time Lords could see into each others minds and she cautiously reached out with her own untrained consciousness. She saw what he had told her, she saw the child with Habta's face, the girl grateful for Kay's assistance and her promise to keep Habta's name concealed.
The image faded and Dana made to pull back from the connection but his mind was stronger and it felt as though he had wrapped her in a warm embrace. She felt a rush of emotions flood her mind, love at the forefront but coupled with respect, friendship and something underlying that made her tremble. She met the feelings with her own but she did not have the control he had and they flitted erratically between them. She became more aware of her physical form as she felt Kay shudder as a deeper feeling flowed from her to him unchecked. He slowly broke the connection between them and she was surprised to see his cheeks flushed and his eyes brighter than before.
"You see?" he asked softly his hands coming to rest on her cheeks.
"I see," said Dana softly as she leant towards him, "I see it all."
She wrapped her arms tightly around his neck as he kissed her, glad he had changed his robes in favour of a thin black shirt and trousers as she traced her hands over the strong muscles of his shoulders. His hands slipped slowly from her face, over her shoulders and down to her waist before he pulled her more tightly against him. Dana gasped into his kiss as she felt his hardness against her thigh, blushing as he released her.
"Dana I…"
She silenced him with her lips against his, pressing herself closer to him as he stepped back from her, smiling as she was rewarded with a groan. His hands tightened at her waist, holding her firmly as he turned and pressed her against the wall, running one hand down onto her thigh, coaxing it upwards. She followed his lead and wrapped her leg around his, feeling him hit her centre and sending a shudder of pleasure through her. He released her lips, seeking the site of her pulse on her neck and pressing fleeting kisses against it in time with the rapid beats.
"Dana," he murmured against her as she whimpered and wriggled in his arms, "Dana tell me to stop if its too much."
"No," she said firmly, "No I…"
Kay pulled back as she froze, her hands gripping his shoulders with little mercy and her expression one of turmoil. He released her leg, letting it slip back to the floor but he stayed close to her. She fussed his hair as she smiled mournfully at him.
"I'm sorry," she said, "Its just, I never…"
"We can wait," said Kay pressing a chaste kiss to her lips, "Its been three and a half centuries for me, I can wait."
"No," said Dana firmly, "I don't want to wait I just…I don't want to disappoint you."
Kay looked close to laughter but refrained instead resting his forehead against hers and smiling down at her, "You could never, ever disappoint me," he said, "And if you're sure?"
"I'm sure," said Dana as he stepped back from her. She took his hand, leading him back down the corridor and into her room. She stopped in front of the bed, feeling the heat of him as he stood behind her. His hands traced the base of her chemise, occasionally tracing the skin beneath and causing her to shiver.
"Trust me," he said softly as he tugged at the base and pulled the garment over her head. He discarded it without a thought, returning his hands to the bare skin at her waist, stroking gently but not venturing higher. He pressed a kiss to her shoulder before tracing his lips up her neck to her ear, "Let me touch you?"
Dana nodded wordlessly, resisting the urge to cross her arms over her chest as his fingers traced torturously slowly up from her waist. She gasped as his fingers brushed the delicate skin beneath her breasts but it turned to a moan as he ran his open palm up and over her, her flesh filling and hardening at his touch. His hands moved slowly, carefully, learning her as he pressed soothing kisses to her shoulder and neck. His hands slipped downwards once more, passing her waist and hitting the tie holding her petticoats in place. With a flick the tie was loose, the skirts falling of their own accord to the floor beneath. Dana kept as still as she could as the warm air hit her naked form, concentrating on the movements of his hands as he traced the rise of her hip bones before running to the base of her spine and lower, cupping her backside and causing her to hiss out a sigh of pleasure. She felt his lips smile against her shoulder as he brought his hands forward once more, pulling her hips back against his and allowing her to feel the press of his desire against her sensitive skin. He dipped one hand below her hip, tracing first the outline of dark curls before slipping between, feeling her buck instinctively back against him as he touched her. He drew his fingertip over the sensitive nub several times before dipping lower, slipping inside her and feeling the unspoilt tightness there.
He pulled his hand back as she whimpered, the sensations too much for her. He turned her gently to face him, taking her hands and holding them to her sides as she made to cover herself from his gaze. He drank in the sight of her, bending to press a kiss to the small shard of moonlight that filtered from the window across her shoulder.
"You're so beautiful," he said before nudging her towards the bed, "Lay down."
XXXX
The sunlight filtering through the small, sash window caressed the sleeping figures still entangled on the bed, clothes abandoned and forgotten for both passion and the heat. A mess of brown hair began to slowly move against the expanse of a firm white chest, nuzzling into the newly learned scent before lifting like a curtain as Dana slowly rose to wakefulness, sitting up to look down at the man still asleep beside her. She ran a tentative finger over his brow, pushing back a lock of blond hair that had fallen over his eye in his sleep, his whole head a dishevelled example of the events of the night before. She felt the aches throughout her body but knowing how they came to be pushed aside any pain and replaced it with a warm pleasure as she set her head back down on his chest, listening to the thump of his hearts. She smiled against him as she felt a hand come up to play with her hair, wrapping it around a finger before letting the curl drop back down onto her back.
"I don't want to ever move," said Dana softly, "Never ever, ever."
"But if you never, ever move we'll never, ever be able to do that again," came the sleepy rumble beneath her, "And we can't have that."
Dana pushed herself up with one arm, smiling down at him, "Definitely not," she said, kissing him, "Besides, they might get a bit suspicious when you don't come home."
Kay stroked the naked skin of her back, "That's why I have Meda," he said, "Chanema saw you leave with him last night, in fact it was her not him that told me you'd gone. When Meda came back he made sure there were several witnesses testament to the fact that an transmission came in from the Presidential Council requesting my presence. Of course what my guests didn't know was that Meda is a phenomenal hacker and has installed several pathways that make the transmissions look like they're coming from the Council when they're not."
Dana giggled, "He never ceases to amaze me," she said, "I will have to thank him when I next see him. So how long did the Council ask you to come for?"
Kay tugged her down until she was lying flush against him, her sun warmed skin pressing to his, "They gave no specific time," he said tracing the line of her jaw with a finger tip before letting it dip down her neck and onto her collarbone. Dana arched against him as his hand began to dip lower, the movement stirring his desire beneath her hips.
"So you could be required to stay a while?" Dana sighed as his lips worried the skin of her neck.
"Mmm," murmured Kay, "Well I saw there were several points on the agenda that required my undivided attention for further exploration."
"Care to list those points?" said Dana, rocking harder against him. Kay's hands came to her hips, stilling her, his eyes studying her reactions as his hardness teased the tender flesh of her opening. Dana moaned, pushing her hips downwards in a vain attempt to take more of him.
"Point one, how much teasing does it take to make Danashan come completely undone in my hands," said Kay as he watched the woman above him begin to writhe with need.
"Not fair," said Dana through clenched teeth, "Knew there was a reason I hated politicians."
Kay thrust up hard into her, the tight heat and pleasured scream overpowering his senses for a moment as Dana clutched hard at his chest, her nails leaving tiny crescent marks against him.
"Still hate politicians?" he said, keeping hold of her hips as she rocked gently.
Her eyes opened, "Perhaps not all politicians," she said, "Rassilon! Kay!"
Kay smiled smugly up at her as she squeezed her eyes shut once more, biting her lip in concentration, "Point two," he said, "How beautiful can Danashan look bathed in the morning sunshine?"
"Point three," hissed Dana, digging her nails deeper into his chest, "How long until Kay shuts up?"
"As soon as you kiss me," said Kay reaching a hand up around her back and pulling her down against him, his lips finding hers instinctively and kissing her deeply. They neither of them heard the sound of someone hammering on the front door or the sound of the latch opening, it was only the sound of the desperate voice that pulled them from their silent state.
"Dana? Dana are you home?"
Dana looked down at the man beneath her in horror, "That's Fira," she said, "Oh Rassilon I should have known she'd come looking for me."
"Can you get rid of her?" said Kay as Dana reluctantly climbed off him, hurrying into a robe.
"I can try," she said leaning over and kissing him, "but you should get dressed and…no, stay there, stay quiet, I don't want you to go anywhere."
Kay grabbed her hand, pulling her back into a kiss, "I wouldn't go anywhere," he said, "Not now I'm here at last. Go see to Fira."
Dana pulled away from him and hurried to the door, closing it behind her as she stepped into the corridor. She hurried down the walkway into the front room as Fira's calls passed that way. The younger girl stood in her newly acquired robes, the skirts brushing noisily against the floor. She turned as she heard the footsteps behind her, taking in the appearance of her friend.
"Oh Dana," she said running to her and embracing her, "Look at the state of you, you must have been up half the night in fits."
"The state of me?" said Dana pulling back from her friend. Fira reached up and patted down the fly away brunette curls on Dana's head. Dana had to bite her lip to stop herself from smiling at the memory of Kay's hands wrapped in every curl.
"You look tired," said Fira softly, "Please don't tell me you were up crying all night over that vile creature, he's not worth your tears Dana."
Dana had turn away to mask a laugh but she realised her mistake when Fira mistook it for a whimper, throwing her arms tighter around her, "Oh you poor angel you have been crying over him! You wait until I get back to the city, I'll make sure everyone hears about what he's done to you and when they do..."
Unable to contain herself any longer Dana burst into raucous peals of laughter, her friend's bemusement only fuelling the hilarity further as she stepped back confused and looked at her as if she had lost her mind.
"Dana?"
"Fira I've never seen you in such a passion over anything," said Dana, sitting down on the nearby chair as her laughter calmed, "Please, there is nothing you need do to avenge my broken heart because its not broken at all."
"But Kaybanarn he…"
"He explained everything to me last night," said Dana softly taking her friend's hand and tugging her down next to her, "He is innocent of everything you laid against him."
"But…but you left so quickly, how could he…" Fira's confused expression turned to scandalous as she looked up to the corridor to the bedrooms. She lifted a shaky finger, "He's not…"
Dana nodded keeping a tighter hold of Fira's hand as the other girl made to get to her feet.
"You mean he?...and you and…Oh Rassilon you didn't…"
Dana couldn't contain her smile, "I did, we did," she said, "He came and found me after I left and he told me the truth. Fira the child isn't his, its just vicious rumour. He told me he loves me and I love him and we…well, we spent the night together."
"You…Dana…you," stuttered Fira before her expression became mischievous, "What was it like?"
"Firamashu!" said Dana blushing, before she too adopted her friend's expression, her eyes drifting to the pathway to the rooms, "He's wonderful."
"He's still here isn't he?" said Fira, "Oh no, when you came out and your hair was…"
Dana nodded and smiled as her friend blushed deeper than before.
"Oh Rassilon I walked in on you two…?"
"Just slightly," came an amused voice from the corridor causing both girls to look up to see a fully dressed Kay standing in the doorway, his expression playful. Fira blushed redder than the grass on the mountain side, knocking over the small footstool beside her as she hurried to her feet in dismay, unable to keep her gaze on the man before her.
"My Lord…Kaybanarn…I…oh mercy I've got to go," stuttered Fira turning shamefully to the door.
Dana grabbed her hand, "Stay Fira, please," she pleaded, "You don't need to be embarrassed."
Fira paused but did not look up, "The things I said last night."
"Are all forgot," said Kay, "I knew of the rumours, I should commend you rather than condemn you for having such concern for your friend. Has Dana explained to you the truth?"
Fira nodded, looking up at him, "She told me you were innocent. Forgive me sir, I shouldn't have acted so rashly."
"Your love for your friend prevailed, it is an honourable trait Firamashu, one too long lost from the citadels. I pray your new position does not take such nobility from your conscience," said Kay as the young woman's colour faded.
Fira's face became mischievous as she regarded the man before her, ruffled and undone as he was rather than armoured up in his Time Lord robes, "Was that a compliment on us country folk?"
Kay smiled warmly, "Don't get too used to them," he said playfully, "But Dana has educated me somewhat these passed few weeks."
"Oh I bet she has," said Fira before a light slap from Dana silenced her.
"Well I was going to offer you breakfast."
"Breakfast?" said Fira, her eyes lighting, "Oh go on Dana, please."
Dana smiled down at her friend before turning her attentions to Kay, "Would you join us Kay?"
He nodded, "I'd be delighted, so long as Fira does not disapprove?"
Fira coloured slightly at the use of her familiar name but smiled warmly, "I suppose I had better get to know you," she said, "Seems that you intend to be a permanent feature."
XXXX
Fira's discovery of Dana's relationship with Kay was not wholly without rewards as the couple came to find. While neither of them had contemplated the logistics of carrying on their affair beyond the confines of Dana's room on their first night together Fira came up with the most agreeable suggestion. Her new position as Achea's wife meant most of her time would be spent in the Capitol and Kay's duties brought him there more frequently than he was expected in Oighearcathair, so it was decided upon that Dana could see Kay under the pretence of visiting her childhood friend.
As the months passed by Achea came to know of the deception and was all too happy to assist, his love for Fira growing daily despite the arrangement of their marriage and Dana was glad to see her friend as happily matched as she was with Kay. The only other person to know was the ever faithful Meda, always on hand to take messages too and from Kay and Dana and ever the watchful aide whenever Dana went to Oighearcathair to visit Mihar. Dana's visits to the Ice City were still frowned upon by Chanema and Habta but she paid them no mind, happily spending time with Kay's daughter while finding stolen moments here and there with her lover.
Jaralen could not be happier to see his daughter mixing so well with the society he had protected her from for so long, even glad to assist her now and then in the basic training of Time Lords and Ladies although she still refused to take any part in the Academy. He was even more pleased when his friend Kaybanarn invited Dana to become one of his political officers, the two becoming known for their fierce support of the Outsider colonies, Kaybanarn's shocking political U-turn only over shadowed by the almost religious zeal he put towards the cause. Rumour became abound however of how Dana, untrained and unheard of, had achieved such a position and Jaralen feared for his daughter's name. In his duty as a father he made the one arrangement he had promised never to make, hoping against hope that Dana would accept his proposal.
It was a rare weekend that saw both Jaralen and Dana home once more at their small cottage in the village and Jaralen was glad of it, happily watching from his chair in the salon as Dana sang happily to herself in the kitchen, her dress one of her plain outfits she kept reserved for private times, simple robes becoming her normal dress when at Kaybanarn's side in the Council.
"I see you and Lord Kaybanarn have upset the President once again by advocating the inclusion of Outsider children into the Academy," he said as Dana busied herself with whatever meal she was preparing for them.
"Lord Kaybanarn believes that the Outsider families should be allowed to put their children forward as much as those in the cities," said Dana, "I am a little worried about how far it may go, that the choice may no longer be for the parents but it is so hard for children to get in otherwise, there is still so much division between our people but both Lord Kaybanarn and I hope that both cultures can be reconciled soon."
Jaralen smiled as Dana came into the room, wiping her hands on a towel, "You sound so much like your mother," he said, "I thank the day I chose to invite Kaybanarn to dine with us for he has turned you as you have turned him I think. Rumour abounds that he may even make President one day, he is a good politician."
Dana allowed herself a small smile, "He is a good man," she said, "He has been kind to me."
"And well deserved too, you saved his life that night on the mountain."
"Father," said Dana, her cheeks colouring somewhat though her father knew not the memory she recalled, "He is no longer beholden to me for that, if anything I am beholden to him, he has treated me as an equal and allowed me to voice my opinions far beyond my calling anywhere else."
Jaralen frowned slightly at the loyalty in his daughter's voice, "Come sit beside me a while child," he said, "I wish to talk to you."
Dana looked frightened for a moment but knelt dutifully at her father's feet, "What about?"
Jaralen looked every inch the concerned father as he stroked back her dark hair, "You are young Dana, and the young do not know the ways of the world as they should. Kaybanarn flatters you with his attentions and I fear you may…I mean to place no allegation of design on my friend, his intentions are honourable I'm sure but Dana I worry, you love easily and I am worried…"
"Father," said Dana, her words nearly sticking in her throat as she again told the practised lie to one she had never believed she would lie to, "I do not have any affections of that sort towards Lord Kaybanarn. He is kind to me, I would even say he is a friend but you need not fear that my position at his side is anything less than…honourable."
Jaralen smiled down at her, "I know this," he said, "But other's do not and that is why…I know I promised you I would not but he is a good man."
"Who is a good man?"
"Netax," said Jaralen, "And he assures me he would not disapprove if you wanted to continue to work in the Council."
Dana paled, "Father what are you saying?"
"Netax approached me again for your hand and I have granted my permission to your union," said Jaralen taking his daughter's hand, "It is a good match Dana."
Dana snatched her hand away, jumping to her feet, "No!"
"You cannot remain the way you are in the Council if you are not married, Dana the rumours alone…"
"Rumour will abound in the Council be I married or not!" cried Dana, "Father I do not love him and I cannot…I…you do not know…I cannot! You have no right to do this. I…"
Jaralen had no further time to speak as Dana grabbed her cape from the back of her chair throwing it around her shoulders to protect herself from the winter chill of the village before running from the house, not caring for or heeding her father's cries from the doorway. She was crying before she even reached the gate and sobbing desperately before she hit the outskirts of the village. She continued at a pace born only to one used to rough terrain and bitter weather, heading upwards into the hills surrounding the village, knowing she would not go as far to break the tree cover but far enough that she would not easily be found even by her father.
She finally stopped in a small glen, the cold even more biting higher than it had been in the village causing her to pull her cape tighter around her and she huddled down into the embrace of a great raised tree root, laying her hand on the exposed bark and feeling the odd comforting presence of the life that still flowed through the leaf-less form. Her tears calmed in the silence and she began to hum to herself, a wordless ancient song she must have learned in her infancy. Her hand strayed beneath her cape to lay protectively over her abdomen, moving in small circles as she thought on ways to escape the fate her father seemed set on. She could not hate him for making the arrangement, she herself had heard the rumours finding amusement in the fact that the gossips that linked her and Kaybanarn were closer to the truth than they would ever know. They had spent many a night curled together on his bed in his large apartments in the Capitol laughing over the latest story of their reported torrid affair.
Dana smiled as her thoughts turned to her lover. He was back in the Ice City for a few more days before he would be once again returning to the Capitol on family rather than political business although it was no coincidence that Dana had been invited to spend several weeks with Fira; and Achea, as a young, newly qualified Time Lord of the Prydonian order, would be welcoming to Lord Kaybanarn stopping by now and then to teach him further the ways of the Order. She felt her tears anew as she thought of telling him of her father's arrangement. To oppose would raise questions and Kay would have no reason to stop the match if Netax was willing to let her continue to work in the Council. Dana felt the bitter taste of her tears on her lips as she gasped out a sob, wishing with all her heart for the warm arms of Kay and the safety they always brought. She had known that somewhere in the bliss of their love there would be pain but she had not thought so soon. Curling deeper into the warmth and shelter of the raised roots, she wrapped her cape around her and allowed the whispers of the forest and the mountains soothe the pain in her heart.
As much as Dana wished she could spend the night on the mountain she had returned home before darkness had truly enveloped the land. Her father was in the salon as she entered but he made no move to speak to her as she hurried passed him and towards her room. Three days were spent in silence between them, any effort on Jaralen's part to bring up the subject of Dana's match met with silence or the firm slam of a door. They had chosen to return to the city together but Dana had refused to enter the carriage Jaralen had ordered from the city, instead choosing the walk the muddy, rain soaked road to the city, carrying her heavy case over her shoulder as the carriage sped off before her. As luck would have it the heavens opened the second she stepped beyond the confines of the village and by the time she reached the entrance to the Capitol she was drenched from head to foot.
She hurried through the streets to the apartments Fira and Achea now kept, not in one of the most fashionable districts but quiet and secluded, a perfect haven for Kay's secret visits. Fira had swept her into an embrace before she realised how soaked her friend was, preceding to fuss ridiculously about the troubles of wet and cold even to a Gallifreyan. Achea quickly made himself scarce as his wife seemed determined to fit the gossip of the days spent apart into five minutes of conversation, saying he would see them at dinner as he left the two women to their chat. Dana soon found herself dry and warm beside the hearth in Fira's apartments, the large window stretched along one wall allowing her the view of the city below, the transports rushing too and fro while the people looked no bigger than insects scurrying about their daily lives.
"You're very quiet Dana," said Fira as she handed her a steaming cup of the herbal infusion she had loved back in the village, "Is something troubling you?"
Dana nodded, "My father wants me to marry Netax."
"What?"
"He worries for my reputation at Kay's side," said Dana with a distasteful laugh, "He has cause to I suppose but to bid me marry, to arrange that marriage…how can I marry Fira? How can I marry anyone when my heart is Kay's?"
"Have you told him yet?"
Dana shook her head, "I did not want to call Oighearcathair even on the private line and Meda has been needed there too. I've had no contact save for an official line to tell me he is back at the Council tomorrow. I don't know how to tell him. What can we do anyway?"
Fira sat her friend down, feeling the telltale sign of repressed sobs in her trembling shoulders, "You have refused I take it?"
"Of course but I can give my father no reasons he will now accept. Much as I am glad for your happiness with Achea it has not helped my cause, father believes that if you can find love through an arrangement then I can also."
"Oh Dana," said Fira, "I wish there was something I could say but you and Kay have known you would face problems, you cannot remain single forever and Kay cannot…leaving Chanema is not an option if either of you want to keep up your fight in the Council. She would have him shamed if not worse and I fear as well for Mihar, Chanema cares none for her and would hurt her too."
"I'd never ask him to leave her," said Dana with a resigned sigh, "His commitment to her…to their arrangement…I respect that. I just wish…I love him Fira."
"I know," said Fira softly, "And horrible as this situation is you will find a way out of it, Kay won't give you up. Perhaps you should contact the apartments, Meda usually comes ahead to get everything ready, perhaps he will be available for you to talk to and he might be able to hurry Kay's return to tonight."
Dana stared down at the drink in her hand, circling the cup as the liquid swirled in a rapidly cooling pool, "Could I use your communicator?"
Fira nodded, "Invite Meda for dinner either way, it will be nice to see him."
"I will," said Dana stepping into the room Achea had set aside as a study and hurriedly typing the well typed code into the communicator on the desk. She waited patiently, watching the swirling script as the call connected and Meda's familiar face swam into view. His craggy features lighted with a smile at the sight of her and the wonderfully expressive language of his hands bid her a fond hello.
"Its good to see you too Meda," said Dana, "I hope your journey back was easier and that Chanema was nice to you while you were at Oighearcathair."
Dana was glad she had spent time learning the language Meda used to replace his speech, his wonderfully dramatic tales of Chanema's behaviour never failing to make her giggle.
"That bad huh? No wonder you're glad to be home. I don't suppose Kay accompanied you back?"
Meda shook his head, letting her know he did not expect his master till the following day, his expression one of concern as Dana's face fell. He enquired as to her upset and Dana smiled weakly at him.
"I would tell Kay first my friend," said Dana, "Much as I would welcome your kind words on the matter. Do not hasten him though, he will only worry. Do you have plans for tonight? Fira wants me to invite you to dinner here, just the four of us."
Meda accepted the invitation happily, leaving Dana with a promise that he would listen if she needed to talk before they said their farewells. Dana shut down the communicator as Meda faded once more from view. She sat back in the chair, running her hands over her face as she prayed for the day and night to hurry through to Kay's arrival in the Capitol, just to be beside him again would prove a comfort.
She looked up as Fira's soft footfalls echoed by the door, "This is more than upset over an arranged marriage Dana," said the young woman softly, "You seem so sad."
Dana gave her a forced smile, "I will be well Fira, forgive me. Once I have spoken with Kay I will know more of what I should tell."
"You would tell me wouldn't Danashan, if something else was troubling you?"
"Of course," said Dana, "Now you promised me a run down of all the gossip from the halls and I demand every detail."
Fira frowned as Dana swept passed her and back into the reception room, long years of friendship telling her that not all was well with her best friend.
XXXX
Dana was shocked to hear the bell for Fira's door go a full hour before the arranged time for dinner that Meda knew never altered in Achea's household. She heard the sound of Fira muttering as she went to the door but returned her attention back to the mirror in the room Fira always set aside for her, straightening the comb that held her hair back from her eyes. She heard Fira's surprise tone before a voice she recognised echoed through the corridors.
"Forgive my unannounced arrival my friend but I have to see her."
Dana got to her feet and hurried to the door of her room and into the corridor, almost walking into the robed figure of Kaybanarn as he came towards her room. He steadied her quickly before pulling her into his embrace, hugging her tightly as though they had spent weeks rather than days apart from one another. Dana pulled back to question him but he swooped down and pressed a kiss firmly to her lips, silencing any protest with the newly practised skill.
"What are you doing here?" said Dana as he finally released her.
"Meda sent for me," said Kaybanarn.
Dana frowned, "I told him not to."
"Which is precisely why he did," said Kay, "He was worried about you Dana, he said you were not yourself and I came as soon as he called. Can we…?"
Dana nodded as he gestured towards her room, knowing that Fira would not question them not appearing for a while, her friend generously understanding when it came to any stolen moments for the pair. Kay led her into the room, closing the door before sitting her down on the stool by the dresser and kneeling at her feet. He folded her small, pale hands in his large ones.
"Now tell me why you have frightened Meda so with your countenance?"
Dana tried to offer him a jest in response but his emerald eyes pleaded up at her and she felt her face crease into the ugly onslaught of tears. The first sob had barely left her lips before she was enveloped in the warm loving arms, Kay's familiar cool scent permeating her senses as she clung to him in desperation. She tried several times to choke out a sentence but each time barely managed a strangled drabble of non-sensical words. Kay rubbed her back as he hushed her, rocking gently as he whispered pointless endearments into her hair.
"Come now Dana, this is not like you," he said, "Never have I heard such tears from you. What can be so dreadful to leave you in such a state?"
"My Father," she choked out before breaking into fresh sobs.
Kay froze, "Is he unwell? Dana if something is wrong I will have the best doctors on the planet attend him."
"No," said Dana, "No he is well. He just…he has made me an arrangement. He wants me to marry."
Kay pulled back from their embrace to stare down at her, "Marriage? To whom?"
"Netax," said Dana, "And I have few grounds to refuse him and they are weak. He has heard the rumours in the Senate since you asked me to work beside you and he worries for my virtue. Oh Kay what do I do? If I wed then we are torn apart and if I tell my father of us you are at risk and he will be hurt. I can't lose you."
"Nor will you," said Kay, hugging her close once again, "I should have thought to see this coming. We found such rumours diverting but I am a father and I can see why Jaralen has chosen this path. Oh Dana what a position I have put you in."
"If only…" Dana began but she trailed off, they had gone down the path of dreams before and no conclusion ever brought them comfort, "What do you think I should do?"
"What says Netax of your position at my side?"
"That I may continue and that he would not oppose my career in the Senate," said Dana with a quiet sniffle against the strong shoulder, "But what has that to do with anything?"
Kay pulled back to fix her with a determined stare, tears brimming in his eyes but refusing to fall, "You should marry him," he said quietly, "An arrangement is such that you need never…you are not required to love him and you have your place her with Fira and we can work together. If we are careful…"
"Kay no…"
"It's the only path Dana," said Kay, "I do not want you to wed, I do not want to think of any man calling you his when you are mine but he will continue to let us…"
"Kay I can't marry him," said Dana, "Because I can't lie with him and if I cannot lie with him how can I explain to him how I am able to bear him a child."
"Then there will be no children of natural birth for you…"
"Kay," sighed Dana in exasperation, "How can I explain to him when I do bear him a child, at least two months earlier than a wedding night baby would dictate?"
Dana watched as realisation dawned on the handsome face before her, the tears that had threatened falling like crystal droplets on to the fair cheeks. He searched her eyes with a small smile before looking down at her still slim frame, a hand coming to her stomach in a tender touch.
"You are…you're…"
Dana nodded.
"You're with child? My child?"
"Whose else could it be?" said Dana, smiling at the joy on his face, "I have no time for any other lover."
"Oh my darling girl," said Kay, kneeling up to kiss her, "Oh my wonderful Dana. Our child, our child of love and life not some genetic design of this grotesque society, you are not just a miracle with your words to change my heart so. Oh to think I once thought this wrong but to see you now, to know that there is that small being of our blood in you. Dana how blind this whole planet it to deny itself this joy."
Dana couldn't help but laugh as he hugged her close with a whoop of joy but she quieted as she thought back to the choice they faced. She stroked the blond head as he nuzzled into the brown curls at her neck, "But you see now why I cannot marry him. I want this child Kay and I cannot by any means explain how I am pregnant when I will never be able to allow my husband to touch me."
Kay stiffened in her arms, "No that is a conundrum," he said softly, "But more so how do you explain how you are pregnant outside of wedlock also. Perhaps Netax's silence could be arranged, perhaps he could be persuaded to proclaim the child his with the right persuasion."
"You want to bribe him to say the child is his?" cried Dana in dismay, "Kay you can't! Its wrong! Its corrupt!"
"It's the only way," said Kay, seriously, "Dana there is no other way short of you lying with him the first night of your marriage and trying to pass off an early birth, could you do that Dana? Would you do that? Lie with a man you don't love while I lie alone in our bed plagued by the thoughts of his hands on the woman I love. I would sell my soul to all the devils of this universe to keep you from that, a small bribe to one I know would readily accept would hardly be a high price to pay."
Dana pulled him close once again, trying to black out all thoughts of marriage and bribery in the span of his arms. Either choice filled her with bitterness, the risks of the bribe too much, the thought of lying with anyone other than Kay breaking her heart. She could not, she would not.
"We could run away," she said, "Take the TARDIS, run away and never stop."
Kay let out a humourless laugh, "If only we could but they would find us and then instead of a choice as we have now it would be a choice between death or separate exile and much as I would willing lay down my life for you Danashan I could not have that same fate for you."
"What do we do Kay?" said Dana childishly, "You have always had all the answers for us, bringing me into the Senate, supporting my and my father's cause so that we may work closely. I have followed you in all, I need to follow you now."
"How much time do you have before your father requires an answer?" said Kay brushing the tears stains from her cheeks with the pads of his thumbs.
"He comes to the city the day after tomorrow and meets with Netax that afternoon, if I have no good reason to refuse then I am a bride by the end of the week," cried Dana wringing her hands in her lap, "I know he only does this because he loves me but he…Kay how can he do this to me?"
"He thinks he acts for the best and I do not believe it is just him that is behind this desire to see you married. There are many in the Council still concerned with young women without Academy training being anywhere near the Council. Rassilon knows I once held those prejudices but where I have learned there are many who will not and I fear…Danashan, you are of a good family, a strong line but your mother was frowned upon for her radical ideas yet she always had the protection of being a Time Lady, you do not have that safety net. Your father must think of the people he represents also, the cause is lost if people turn against us for your position."
"Then if I entered the Academy…"
"You would take too long to train and we have a week," said Kay mournfully, "Give me tonight if you will my love and I will have your answer by morning. Now come, poor Meda and Fira have been left alone with their worries of what is troubling you and you need to eat, you have our child to take care of now."
Dana smiled as he got to his feet, offering her a hand up. When she had risen he pulled her close, pressing a kiss to her forehead.
"Whatever happens Danashan, I will always be here for you and I will always be there for our child. I love you."
"I love you too," echoed Dana before fixing him with a playful gaze, "So…boy or girl?"
XXXX
The day soon dawned when Dana was to speak with her father, she had her answer and it was with a heavy heart that she entered the apartment she shared with him when she was not at Fira's in one of the large state buildings near the Panoptican. She slipped off the heavy red jacket she wore to show her allegiance if not her acceptance to the Prydonian Order, throwing it over the back of the large sofa that faced the panoramic window overlooking the city. She could here her father humming to himself through the doorway to the library and schooled her features before walking in. He looked up at her entrance and offered her a tentative smile.
"You are back early child," he said, "I thought you and Lord Kaybanarn had several meetings this morning."
"I asked for the day off," said Dana softly, "I thought it best if I came with you when you meet with Netax this afternoon."
"You mean…"
"I accept Sir," she said formally, "I agree to the arrangement, be it with a heavy heart. You are my father and you know what is best for me. Lord Kaybanarn advises it also for he would see that I can keep working for the Outsider's cause in the Senate. Lord Netax will be a good husband."
Jaralen smiled, walking over to his daughter and hugging her tightly, "Dana I am proud of you," he said, "You have made a wise and fortunate match and I am much indebted to Kaybanarn as well for making you see sense."
Dana allowed herself a half smile, "He looks out only for my best interests. He wishes to attend the ceremony and I would like Fira and Achea to be there, and Mihar if she can come from the Ice City."
"Of course, I'm sure Netax will be willing to put back the date of the ceremony a few weeks for you to arrange things."
"No!" said Dana, "No I want to do this as soon as possible. By the end of the week. If Mihar cannot come then she cannot come. Father please if this is to happen may it do so by the end of the week."
Jaralen looked down at her frantic eyes in concern, "Dana a day ago you would have nothing of this marriage and now…"
Dana gave him a placating smile, "I merely want to get on with my life, get back to working for the people I want to represent. I don't want any fuss, I don't want any pomp and circumstance, I want a quiet ceremony and then I want to move on. Please Father?"
Jaralen smiled, "As you wish my daughter."
XXXX
A week passed and before Dana knew it she was standing before the mirror in her room in her father's Capitol apartments, dressed in a simple, high necked blue dress and slippers, her wishes for no ceremony extending even as far as her clothes. Fira bustled busily around the room, her heavy robes swishing noisily on the polished stone floor. She located the comb she had been searching for and hurried back to Dana's side, pulling back her hair and settling the comb in place, leaving the rest of the heavy dark waves to fall randomly down Dana's back.
She stared at their reflections, "Are you sure you want to go through with this Dana?"
Dana nodded mournfully, "Kay says it's the only way. Much as it pains me he is right, there is no other way especially considering…"
"There is one other option," said Fira sadly, "I hate to suggest it and I speak not only for practicality but for your health when I say you should consider…"
"Say the word termination and I will put you through a window," snapped Dana, her arms curling protectively around her abdomen, "I will never give up this child."
Fira looked close to tears behind her, "Dana your mother died in child birth and the success rate of a healthy natural birth are so slim, that's why they have the Looms."
"They have the Looms to further process us into unfeeling beings," said Dana, "Dusty, dry old senators they would have us become, just watching and never feeling. I would no more give up this child than I would my free will and if I have to give my life for his then I will."
"You are so sure it's a boy," said Fira with a soft smile, "And yet Kay always calls it her."
"Kay seems to believe daughters better behaved than sons, can't imagine where he gets that notion."
Fira giggled, "No indeed. It is a shame Mihar can't make it."
"Perhaps it is for the best," said Dana as a knock came at the door.
"Dana are you ready?"
"Yes Father," Dana called back before turning to the mirror one last time, speaking more to herself than to Fira, "Let's get this over with."
Turning on her heel she headed to the door, seeing her father's face fall slightly at the simple clothes she wore but he covered it swiftly. Offering her his arm he led her out of the apartments and to a waiting transport. Dana settled between her father and Fira, lacing hands with her best friend with a desperate grasped. Fira stroked the back of her hand gently, trying to reassure Dana as she trembled. The transport ride proved entirely too short and Dana found herself too soon handed out of the car and up the stairs to the main government building, the Panoptican.
Jaralen moved them with purpose through the maze of corridors, not stopping in his nervous speech on the virtues of marriage and his pride in his daughter. Dana just stared ahead, blank and pale as one of the small ceremonial rooms came into view. She resisted the natural instinct to hesitate at the door, stepping over the threshold with defiance and looking into the space that look more like an office than a chamber of marriage. One of the local officiators stood at a large ornate desk, already set out with the two contracts she and Netax would sign to swear their union. There were a few chairs either side of the central aisle. Faces Dana did not recognise but knew to be Netax's family took the right hand side while only two chairs were occupied on hers, Achea and Kaybanarn looking on as she entered. She met Kay's glance but his look remained that of a cold, stony politician while Achea offered her a supportive smile.
The officiator beckoned them forward and Dana felt her father tug on her arm as he began to walk to the desk. Soon she was left standing next to her husband to be, contemplating the thinning grey hair on his head. Young Netax her father had called him, young maybe by his standards but thrice Dana's age and still on his first life, bearing all the wear of his years. His grey eyes stared down at her proprietarily and Dana wrestled her glance away and up to the officiator.
"Welcome Danashanoseimuron," said the Officiator, causing Dana to flinch at the use of her full name, "And welcome Lord Netax and may I say I am honoured to have been asked to officiate at this solemn union between your two parties. Firstly I must ask you both if there is any reason you know of that may prohibit to authorisation of this union or that may invalidate it at any future time?"
Both Dana and Netax were silent and Dana heard her father let out a relieved breath as the officiator looked up to those gathered.
"And to the witnesses I ask the same, does anyone here know of any reason that may prohibit the authorisation of this union or that may invalidate it at any future time?"
Silence reigned and Dana paled.
"Good," said the officiator, "Then we may continue with the transaction. Danash…"
The officiator was cut off by the sound of a fist on wood. The congregation turned to see a figure cloaked in black, his hand leaning against the wood of the door. He stepped forward, pushing back his heavy cowl to reveal the short hair and craggy face beneath.
"Medalal!" cried Kaybanarn, "What is the meaning of this?"
Meda waved him off with a signed expletive that only he and Dana understood before steeping up to the altar, pointing distinctly between Dana and Netax and shaking his head and then pointing from Dana to himself. The officiator looked on in bemusement.
"Sir if there is a reason for the prohibition of this union you must speak it," he said, "Although I must say never have one of my transactions been interrupted in such a way. You know this gentleman Lord Kaybanarn?"
"He is my man-servant," said Kay, "and I apologise for his intrusion."
Kay stepped forward and took Meda forcefully by the arm, pulling him away from the altar and speaking in low tones to him.
"Just what do you think you're playing at?" he hissed.
Meda gestured as best he could with Kay gripping his arm before wrenching himself free. Kay looked up at Dana in alarm and then back to Meda.
"Dog," he hissed, "You have plagued this poor child with your attentions, I cannot believe her feelings for you are the same."
"They are!" said Dana suddenly, "If he speaks to you of affection my Lord then my feelings mirror his. I am sorry if this shocks you, you placed your trust in us both but I am in love with him and have remained in your service because of this."
"Dana what are you saying?" said Jaralen snapping from his surprise, "Surely you cannot have feelings for…"
"I do sir, Meda and I have been in love since I arrived in Oighearcathair but we knew none would agree to union," said Dana through heavy tears, "Did you not think it strange that I chose to work with Kaybanarn after proclaiming so vehemently that I would never grace the Senate house? I did it to stay close to the man I love."
Netax grabbed her hand roughly, "You can forget all connections now, an arrangement has been made in your name."
"Then I give reason for prohibition on account of my love," said Dana before turning to Meda and grabbing his hand, wrenching him from Kaybanarn's grip and running from the hall. Kaybanarn followed them, calling out to both his servant and Dana as they disappeared from sight. The rest stood dumbfounded by events as Kaybanarn came back into the room with a shake of his head.
"My apologies Lord Jaralen," he said, "If I had known anything had been going on between them I would have removed your daughter from danger I swear."
"My thanks my friend, I believe we are all as shocked as each other," said Jaralen turning to the jilted bride groom, "My Lord Netax…"
"Speak not Jaralen," said Netax, "I will not be humiliated in this fashion, my friends expect a bride on my arm this evening and I will see that it is so. Find her and bring her back here."
"But she does not love you!" cried Fira before covering her mouth with her hand.
Jaralen turned to her with a look of ice, "Did you know of this?"
Fira nodded solemnly, "She begged me to tell no-one. Please sir, she loves him, let her be!"
"Let my daughter marry a servant!" cried Jaralen, "Never. She will be retrieved. Kaybanarn can I rely upon your assistance?"
Kaybanarn nodded low, "You may sir," he said sweeping an arm to the door and Jaralen and Netax both moved to take up the hunt. Turning his back on the groom's party Kay looked between Achea and Fira, seeing the small smiles playing at the edges of their schooled expressions. With a concealed smile of his own he gave them a small wink before following with a stony expression, barking commands that they should split up to cover more ground.
XXXX
Dana got to her feet and she heard the sound of heavy boots on the gravely mountain park. Meda smiled as he watched her scan the tree line, trying to make out the figure coming to them before breaking into a run at the sight of burnt orange robes and blond hair. With a whoop of joy she leapt into Kay's arms, hugging him tightly as he carried her back to the small encampment.
"There's my little actress," he said setting her back on her feet before smiling down at Meda, "And a Stirling performance from you my friend, you have my thanks."
Meda offered him a small nod of his head before gesturing that he would go and collect some more wood for the dwindling fire. He got to his feet and swiftly left the clearing, drawing his cloak more firmly around him against the chill of the mountain side. When he'd disappeared Kay drew Dana once more into his arms, kissing the dark hair fondly.
"You were amazing in there. I almost believed you myself," he said as she snuggled into his heavy robes, "The tears were very convincing."
"A trick Fira taught me," said Dana, her voice muffled, "Can't believe it worked."
"Well we're not out of the woods yet, you and Meda need to convince your father to let you marry. I will play my part as agreed although I doubt my acting abilities somewhat."
Dana pulled back to smile playfully up at him, "You're a politician," she said, "You play act all the time!"
"Cheeky mare! You best watch yourself my dear or I shall send you straight back to Netax."
Dana pressed a lingering kiss to his lips, letting her tongue trace the gentle swell of his bottom lips before sucking on it playfully, "Truly?" she said barely pulling back to take a breath. Kay hummed out an negative around her lips as he pressed down into her, cradling her head with one hand as the other traced a lazy pattern over her stomach. He smiled down at her as he finally pulled away.
"Is she alright?" he said nodding to where his hand rested.
"He's fine," said Dana, "Glad that he doesn't have to have that ugly old thing as a Daddy. Young Netax? I ask you."
"He is only sixty," said Kay, "I am near my fourth century Danashan, would you have me old?"
Dana kissed him, "Old perhaps," she said, shifting to sit astride his thighs, "But handsome, clever, energetic…"
"Energetic?"
"Mmm-hmm," she said with a roll of her hips, "You were this morning anyway?"
"Couldn't have you go to the Panoptican without something to remember me by," said Kay pulling at the top to buttons of her high necked gown and running his fingers over the mark he found there before replacing them with his lips, sucking on her pulse point once again, stroking his tongue over the small bruise, "This will work Dana and then we won't need to worry about anything. We have a lot to thank Meda for."
"He is glad to help," said Dana, "This was his idea after all, I think you should bring him on to your political staff. He's full of good ideas."
"He is on my political staff," said Kaybanarn, "Who else could I trust to be such a good spy and such a good conman save for my quiet, harmless man-servant?"
Dana giggled, knowing public opinion of Meda was nothing like the man they both loved as dearly as a brother. Silence reigned once more on the mountain side only the gentle rustle of the trees and grass in the low wind invaded the quiet solitude. Dana felt her eyes grow heavy as she nestled once more against Kay's robes, breathing in the familiar scent of the Senate halls mixed with that of his skin, warming and calming. She hummed to herself, the rhythm of his hearts providing an adequate beat to her song. The trees seemed to rustle all the more in time as if the mountain itself was joining her in song. Of its own volition her hand slipped from his waist and up to his temple, pressing gently. Kay was used to the invitation and moved his hands to hold her head, fingers splayed and pressing into her temples. He coaxed her face upwards until he could lean his forehead to hers and then pressed in.
Dana answered the call of his mind, both of them singing their affections through the link as a TARDIS was wont to do with a familiar pilot. Kay shuddered as the images in his mind changed from the familiar patterns on love to a hazy scene he didn't recognise, a craggy mountain side set with a tumbling ruin and almost glowing as a storm lashed the ancient walls. He pulled back quickly, breaking the connection with little care and leaving Dana reeling, having to recover himself quickly to stop her swooning from her perch on his lap.
Dana blinked up at him in alarm, "Why'd you pull away like that?" she said groggily rubbing her head, "That hurt."
"I'm sorry I…Dana have you ever seen a ruin up in the mountains, seen something strange in a rain storm.?"
Dana frowned down at him, "Are you alright?"
"I saw…In your mind…it can't have been mine. The storm was so strange."
"Kay you're frightening me," said Dana shuffling off his lap and pressing a hand to his forehead, "Its too late for this to be a reaction to the regeneration but you're not making sense."
Kay shook his head, before offering her a smile, "Its nothing. I'm sorry. I forget you're not trained properly still, it was just a crossed connection. We should find Meda and head back down, I'll call your father to tell him I've found you and then we can commence with Act Two."
Dana relented her fussing as Kay got to his feet, dropping a kiss on her forehead. He pulled a communicator from his pocket and nodded her towards the tree cover to go look for Meda. She did as she was bid, looking over her shoulder at him in concern as he once more became the politician as he spoke to her father. She turned away, knowing she needed no distraction for what lay ahead. Her father knew her heart better than any other, she would need her wits to convince him of her love for Meda.
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