I managed to get more written yesterday than I thought I would, so here are two chapters, not just one. Thanks again for reviews and reading.
Chapter four
"You know Garcia enjoyed putting this place together for us just a little too much." Emily then changed the subject.
JJ laughed, "Don't I know it!"
"I think she just enjoys match making." Emily added.
"Yes but she's forgetting one important detail, we're both straight." JJ replied.
Emily's heart almost stopped, "Yeah." she muttered. There it was, the thing she had been dreading, she had lied, and hated the fact, but she knew if she told JJ she was gay, it could change things between them and potentially derail the whole operation. Another day, Emily knew she would have just told JJ the truth, because up until now, no-one had questioned her sexuality, and she recognized that was going to be a weak argument when JJ did eventually find out. Way to go Prentiss, Emily thought, another fuck up to add to your ever growing list.
"About that." Emily said carefully pulling herself from the thoughts.
"About what?"
"Being straight." Emily stopped herself, "You do know we're going to have to be..." She looked uncomfortable.
"God, spit it out woman." JJ laughed.
"Well, there are going to be times where we're going to have to show a lot more affection than just being friends. Are you going to be able to handle it?"
"Oh." The realization dawned on JJ and she pursed her lips. "I guess, actors have to kiss and show affection for someone else all the time, how hard can it be?"
A lot harder than you realize, Emily thought to herself but didn't dare voice that.
"It's going to be weird sharing with someone else." Emily said, wanting to move the conversation away from the potential embarrassment it might cause. "At least we're used to sharing on some level when we've had to with hotel rooms out on cases but we've got to get used to living together."
"I hadn't even really thought about it like that." JJ said, with a slight frown. "Does that mean I've got to put up with your socks strewn over the bathroom floor?"
"Oh yeah." Emily smiled. "Although I've got to get used to kids toys being thrown every which way. I still remember finding that piece of lego with my bare feet at your house that one girls night in we shared. I thought Garcia was going to pass out laughing at me hopping about and then discovering a second piece with my only standing foot, and I'm sure I still sport a bruise on that spot!"
"You're gonna have to get used to messy with a kid in the picture." JJ laughed, "No more spotless apartment."
"In my defence, that's as much about the cleaning service and only being there when we're not on a case than anything else." Emily countered, "I do prefer a little mess around me, its comforting somehow." she then admitted, much to the surprise of JJ.
"I always thought you were a total neat freak."
"A lot of it was my upbringing. Can you even begin to imagine living somewhere that is effectively sterile when it comes to having children around? I rebelled, and I guess even today I would rather some mess about than perfectly neat for that very reason. It reminds me I'm human and not some robot to be brought out and displayed on a whim. I've always loved being at your place, where its got a homely feel about it, especially with Henry now. Its something I just never experienced."
JJ was surprised by Emily's sudden candour, because she had rather spoken about her childhood, enough for everyone to know it was difficult, it was the first time JJ could remember hearing more than that.
"I'm sorry." JJ said, feeling it was a totally inadequate thing to say.
"What have you got to be sorry for?" Emily looked surprised.
"Because you had such a bad time of it then." JJ explained. "As much as I hated my upbringing, it was the place, not my family, who I love immensely. We don't talk much, or see each other often, but we love each other without question. I find it hard, especially now I'm a mother, to understand how someone can behave with so little regard to a child they have. I don't even buy the 'it's because of my career' bullshit, because look at what we do, the hours we put in, and yet I still make time for Henry, no matter how tired I am. I always wonder if I'm doing a good job, or whether he will hate me when he is older, but I still try and be there, and do what I can to give him all the time and love that's possible."
Emily looked across at JJ, stunned by the little speech.
"Sorry, I've said too much." JJ saw Emily's face, and began to worry.
"No..." Emily smiled, "Not at all. I just find it fascinating to hear you talking like that. As much as I love the BAU, and we're like family, when you think about it, there is a lot about each other that we don't know. Looks like we're on a steep learning curve!"
"So, you're going to be the level headed one then I guess?" JJ teased Emily slightly, ready to lighten the mood.
"Don't you believe it. Do you remember when you said I was 'just slightly unhinged'." Emily made little quote marks as she spoke. JJ nodded, "Oh believe me when I say, I take unhinged on to a completely different level."
"Oh great!" JJ laughed but she was interrupted by Henry as he came barrelling out of his bedroom, sporting a superman outfit. "Look Mom I'm superman." JJ looked across at Emily, with raised eyebrows as she pulled Henry on to her lap not recognizing the present as one she'd put in there earlier.
"Hey, what can I say, I couldn't let Garcia have exclusive right to his present buying." Emily said with a shrug of her shoulders.
"Garcia I get, but you as well?" JJ tried to admonish Emily, but seeing the look on her friends face was enough to just make her smile instead.
"Your going to have to get used to it, the nerd has emerged!"
JJ shook her head as Henry burrowed his head down on her lap and began to fall asleep as the days events slowly caught up with him. Seeing JJ and Henry like that never ceased to amaze Emily, and this was no exception, and for the first time in just over a week, she also felt herself beginning to relax.
As the evening wore on, JJ finally put Henry to bed before she and Emily headed off to collapse themselves. JJ took the opportunity to check in on Henry, while Emily used the chance to get in the shorts and t-shirt, and was already changed and in bed once JJ came back.
"You do realize that for someone whose so messy in all aspects of your life, I've noticed your meticulous getting in bed! I've never known any one fiddle with the covers and pillows to get them positioned like you do." Emily teased picking up on the earlier conversation, "give me a clothes line to sleep on and I'm happy."
"Some of us like to be comfortable," JJ retorted, "Besides you can't talk, you snore."
"I so do not!" Emily protested.
"Oh you do." JJ said with a smirk as she began to gather her nightclothes together. "You snore, loudly." and with that disappeared in to the bathroom.
After attempting to read a book, but failing, Emily then watched as JJ walked from the bathroom to their shared bed, and for the first time in her life something felt right. She couldn't put her finger on it, but she was feeling content. And given their situation she wasn't sure why. Emily knew she enjoyed spending time with JJ, they had become a very good friends, and both women knew they could trust each other implicitly. They were already like family Emily summarised, maybe that's why I feel so comfortable?
"You okay?" JJ asked looking at Emily as she got into bed.
Emily looked to JJ and smiled, "Yeah, I was miles away."
"Anywhere nice?" JJ asked.
Emily smiled, "Actually, I was thinking how comfortable we are together, and how rare that is."
"Well, its certainly a better atmosphere than I've got with Will at the moment." JJ admitted as she slipped in to the bed alongside Emily, who was completely shocked by the admission.
"I thought things were great between you guys?"
"It was, and on some level is, its just... I began to realize, even though Will is a cop, he and I are living on different planets, especially where work is involved. He sees the horror of the world around us, and yet he still has this sheltered view on things, and that as much as bad things happen, he does his job, and then he goes on his way as if nothing happens. I don't expect him to carry the job as a burden, but I can't just switch off and have a good time like he does, and its caused fights between us. He wants me to quit at the BAU, and I love what I do and that I make a difference, and he doesn't get that. He calls it being on New Orleans time, while I call it drinking excessively. I asked him to stop now that he is a parent, and he just jumps down my throat, saying that I don't understand its his culture, and he's right, I don't understand. I don't feel that love, the deep down passion I expected to and Will is quite shallow at times, and while I found it endearing to begin with, I just want to slap him these days, get him to see the real world around him, not just this bubble he has created." JJ stopped as suddenly as she had begun.
"I don't know what to say." Emily confessed.
"There is nothing you can say," JJ looked across at Emily, "I have to admit, it feels good to have finally told someone the truth."
"Its what good friendships are about." Emily reminded her, "And with what we've got to do, its not such a bad thing that we're opening up like this."
JJ accepted the hug that Emily then offered, feeling that the friendship had indeed shifted on to a different level, and she knew she felt okay with that, but it was also strange to suddenly be sharing so much. She just hoped she didn't regret any of this as it went along, knowing whatever else happened, she and Emily had to work together once it all ended.