"What is it, my child?" Gerda asked as Katla stood there, in the hallway, wringing her hands.
The little healer was not sure anymore why she had come, but she had made it this far and Gerda was waiting for an answer so she explained: "I've come for a prediction."
"You do know I've already read the portends about the reclaiming of Erebor and the time is auspicious" the old oracle said, wondering what could worry her brother's ward so much. Was it because her wedding with Thorin's nephew was delayed?
Katla still fidgeted, unsure about the wisdom of her decision.
"I know, but I thought maybe you could tell me if my promised will come back to me" she replied, her voice barely a whisper.
"I see" Gerda said, reaching for the pouch in which she kept the rune stones. "Let's find out, shall we?"
The oracle took out the stones one by one and opened the palm of her hand so Katla could see the light from the oil lamps glittering on them. They were made out of obsidian, a stone so hard it was almost unbreakable, and sacred symbols were carved on each of their facets.
"What is your exact question, little one?" asked Gerda.
Katla cleared her voice. "Will the sons of Durin come back from Erebor?" she said, not knowing why she didn't ask about Fíli in particular.
The little healer held her breath as Gerda shook the stones in her hands before throwing them on her finely woven multicolored rug. They rolled like dice then stopped abruptly. Gerda studied the pattern and the symbols, frowning. She gathered them and tossed them again. Katla could see them fall in the exact same way as before. She looked questioningly at the oracle, sensing something wrong. The stones usually did not need to be cast twice.
Gerda shook her head and threw them a third time, but there was no denying the prediction.
"Are you sure you want to know the answer to your question?" she asked after staring at the stones for a long time.
Fear rose in Katla's heart but she nodded. She had to know. She couldn't bear to wait for months, years even, without knowing. No hope at all was better than hoping in vain.
"The sons of Durin will meet their fate" said the old oracle, her finger tracing the symbols on the fallen stones. "Erebor will be reclaimed but they will not return."
Katla gasped. "It cannot be!" she exclaimed. "Surely you must be mistaken."
But Gerda had cast the stones three times, and each time they had said the same thing.
"The stones can be hard to decipher sometimes" the oracle replied. "But they couldn't be clearer. Thorin and his nephews will die at the hands of an old enemy."
Katla's eyes widened as she realized that not only Fíli, but Kíli and Thorin as well, were doomed. She stared at Gerda in despair.
"I am sorry, little one. I know how much you love them all. But the stones have spoken and they are seldom wrong" Gerda said, gathering them one more time. "Have you more questions?"
Her eyes watering, Katla still found the strength to ask one last question.
"What about Balin?"
If her promised and his family were doomed, did it mean that everyone would die? The old oracle smiled as the stones fell again on the rug, showing different symbols this time.
"My brother will survive" she murmured. "But he will go on a quest of his own. Though not so soon. No, not so soon."
Katla's first impulse had been to rush to Fíli to tell him but how could she? Gerda had said that it was for her to decide as she had been the one to request the prediction. When asked what to do, the oracle had shrugged, entreating her to think well on the consequences of her decision. She was torn between her fierce need of him and her respect for his choices. She had no right to deprive him of this one quest. But if he stayed, he would have a life in the Blue Mountains. Maybe not the life he dreamed of, but at least he would be alive and well. It had seemed enough before Thorin came back with Erebor in mind. Why couldn't it be enough still?
Katla was afraid to go to him, afraid that she would reveal too much, so she decided to go to her secret ledge, hoping meditation would quieten her heart and bring her wisdom. She knew Fíli was getting ready, packing his things. She could hear him laugh and joke with Kíli as she passed before the half-open door of Dis's lodgings. Would he be so merry if he knew? She stopped in her tracks to watch the brothers toss their things to one another in a perfectly rhythmic ballet. They were so happy. So carefree.
Fíli caught sight of her and told her to come in, but she shook her head and turned away from the door. Seeing his grinning face was more than she could take. She heard his footsteps in the hall as he went after her, calling her name, so she began to run. But he caught up with her in the stairs, taking hold of her arm.
"Why are you running, beloved?" he asked, not understanding why she would run away from him.
She turned to face him and the anguish in her eyes made him release her.
"Leave me alone" she said in a whisper, her face contorting with misery.
He was so taken aback that he did not have the heart to go after her as she made her way up the stairs. His leaving made her sad, he knew, but what could be the reason for such gloom? He followed her at a distance, even though she turned several times to tell him to go away.
When he arrived on top of the stairs, she was standing on the ledge, one hand grabbing onto the stone wall for support. The air was warm after a sunny day and birds could be heard singing in the trees that shone blood red with the setting sun.
"Bad omens" she said. "Bad omens everywhere. Why did I even think it would make me feel better to come up here in the first place?"
He came close to her, lacing his arm around her waist.
"Hush now" he whispered, kissing her wet eyes. "Tell me what is wrong."
Katla suddenly felt the world fall apart in a great chasm under her feet. It was as if she was losing balance, and she clung to him for dear life. He stared at her, failing to understand what was going on.
"Do not leave!" she begged, distraught. "Do not leave! The rune stones-"
She could go no further. It was not for her to reveal his fate to him. He sighed at her words, shaking his head, finally comprehending the reason for her despair. Old Gerda had told her he would not come back and she believed all that nonsense.
"It doesn't matter what the rune stones have said" he told her, brushing his knuckles on her wet cheeks to wipe the tears away.
The quest would be perilous, he knew that, but he didn't believe in fate. He put no faith in the stones. They could be interpreted in so many different ways, and Gerda was so old. Making mistakes was not unheard of. But he could see Katla was distressed far beyond reason. Tears were still running wild down her cheeks as her entire body shuddered with her long sobs.
"I'll come back to you" he said, looking her in the eyes. "You know that, don't you?"
She shook her head, unable to tell him that fate had decreed it otherwise.
"And even if I don't, I'll always be there, in your heart, in your memories" he continued, reassuring. "You will always find me, in that place in between dreams and reality."
She looked in his eyes, his clear, blue, and honest eyes. He was so handsome, the fading sun setting his hair ablaze, a true prince with a crown of crimson golden light. This was as close as he would get to being king, she thought bitterly.
"I want you to shut your eyes" he told her, his forehead resting on hers.
She uttered an anguished sigh but obeyed nonetheless.
"Do you see me?" he asked.
She nodded. His hands cupped her face and he laid his lips on hers in the softest of kisses. "You'll just have to close your eyes and I'll be there. Always."
Tears continued to roll down her cheeks as she clung to him. Why was he refusing to see the truth? She knew he only said those things to comfort her. She also knew it was their last day together. It was fate. But if somehow she could convince him not to go- But he wouldn't listen to her. He wouldn't let Thorin go without him. They were all Durins after all, and they shared everything, in life as in death.
Her hands flew to his hair, her fingers tangling in his long braids. She kissed him fiercely as the sun sent its last burning rays. He wrapped his arms around her, pulling her close, sensing the urgency in her embrace. Tomorrow he would be gone and there was nothing she could do about it, so if that was to be their last night together on this earth, she would have him all to her before he left.
She quickly unfastened his cloak and let it fall down on the ground. Then she unclasped her long dress. She could see his desire reflected in his eyes, so clear, so deep. They both sank down in a swift motion, aching for each other. The sounds of their lovemaking echoed in the quiet of the night as she moaned his name, each time with new fervor. They were not yet married, but he was hers as she was his, and it was enough for them both. Her sorrow made the pleasure even more unbearable, even more unendurable. Bittersweet. She would ache for him for the rest of her life, but that was a small price to pay for these few hours of complete bliss in his arms.
Dawn found them coiled together under their clothes, breaths steady, limbs entwined. Without a word, Fíli got up to get ready for his long journey. Katla was still sleeping and he wanted to keep the memory of their night together as intact as possible. She would weep again as he left, and that could not be helped, but he would not see her cry now. He dressed up, kissing her lightly on the forehead, then made his way down the countless flights of stairs, praying for her to wake up late so he wouldn't have to see her tears.
When Katla awoke, Fíli was nowhere to be seen. She ran down, afraid he might already be gone, but when she arrived in the great hall, they were all there, in their traveling gear. She remembered a similar day when she had been the one leaving. Tears welled in her eyes but she braced herself, refusing to shed them again. She hugged Balin, knowing he would get to survive. Kíli winked at her playfully, ever the joyful one. Little did he know what fate had in store for him, but it was not for her to reveal what Gerda had seen in the rune stones. She bowed in front of him but he took her in his arms instead.
"I'll miss you, soon-to-be sister" he said before releasing her.
"I'll miss you too" she replied, choking with emotion. How could she tell him he would never see her again?
Fíli only bent to kiss her one last time, just a gentle pressure of his lips on hers. As if that would ever be enough. The memory of their fiery embrace was still etched in her flesh, his smell still lingering on her skin. She somehow felt different, a little indecent, as if everybody else could see what had happened during the night. She blushed as he looked at her, knowing he felt the same.
"Remember, I will always be there in your heart" he murmured in her ear before letting her go.
Dís seized her hand and they watched the little company set out until they were only dots in the clear horizon.
In the depths of Erebor were three graves, one for each of the sons of Durin who had fallen at the Battle of the Five Armies. Three silhouettes stood there, hand in hand, in mourning. Dís was barely holding on her feet, and Katla had to hold her up as she wobbled. The older dwarf lady had been brave throughout her terrible ordeal, hardly ever weeping during the long journey that had taken them from Ered Luin to the Lonely Mountain. But now that she faced the tombs of her family, she couldn't refrain her tears from falling. On the other side of Katla stood a little Dwarrow child, a girl that had just begun to walk. She clung to her mother's leg, frightened by the majesty of the place. Her blond hair and clear eyes left no doubt as to the identity of her father.
A few months after Thorin's company had left, Katla's belly had begun to round. She had felt the first signs of pregnancy long before that but had told only Dís and Gerda. Being unmarried, she knew she would be shunned, but she was surprised to find out that no one in their little community cared. They considered the child as sacred, even though no union had been blessed. There had been rejoicing on the day the child was born and she had decided to name her daughter Siggi. Victory. She would cling to hope and refuse to let despair sink in. For the sake of the child. For Dís who would lose everything, even though she didn't know it yet.
When the messenger had come from Erebor bearing the sad news, they had both decided they would leave the Blue Mountain and honor their loved ones in their rightful home. Siggi would never know her father but at least she would live where his ancestors had been born. Dís and Katla had held on, with as much dignity as they could muster. But now that they were in the deep vault, all pretense flew away.
There it was, more real than Katla had ever thought. The magnificence of the three carved graves was breathtaking. In death, at least, they were honored as they never had been in life. That was a small consolation. She wanted to scream and shout at the world how unfair it was that lives had to be reclaimed in exchange for the mountain. She would have given anything to go back to Ered Luin and spend the rest of her life at peace with Fíli. Cursed Erebor, that had taken the sun, the moon and the stars from the sky. But then, her eyes fell on her daughter, and her breath caught in her throat. There was still one ray of light in the sky, one that had the same smile, the same laughter as her father. He had been right after all. He would always be there. Every time she would look at Siggi, she would see him. Although the pain would likely never go away, it would be softened by the child's presence.
"Let me go, please, Katla" Dís begged. "Let me mourn my way."
The little healer obeyed and Dís collapsed on the ground, wailing.
"Grandma!" exclaimed the child.
"Let her be, Sig" Katla said, holding her daughter back. "She has lost her brother and two sons. She can cry as long as she needs."
She moved forward and her chin began to tremble as her tears finally ran on her cheeks, unrestrained. She placed a shaking hand on Fíli's grave.
"You will always be with me, my beloved, my husband, my king" she said, face bent down.
She took several deep breaths, then raised her head high and placed her daughter in front of her in between her arms.
"I hope that you can see her, from wherever you are, your daughter Siggi. She has your easy temper, but she is proud. A true child of Durin."
She knelt down to hug her daughter. No, the line of Durin was not broken. It would never be broken. It would live on forever through its women, for the blood was stronger than any prophecy. Stronger than Azog's hate, who had sought to destroy them all. Katla kissed her daughter. There would always be a Durin under the mountain. They would endure as they had always done, hardship making them fiercer. She closed her eyes, and there he was, smiling, reaching out to her. And it seemed that in her mind she could hear him say: "I'll wait for you and when you're ready, we can have all eternity."